OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

9 PARTS OF DESIRE

Final week. “There’s no arguing that the stories of Iraqi women in 9 Parts of Desire aren’t edifying, but Desire’s verisimilitude is its crutch—the moral force of the stories does not, cannot, make up for the dramatic weakness of the play.” (Brendan Kiley) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $10–$46. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through April 23.

LA BÊTE

A fictional account of what happened to Molière’s troupe when its patron decided to start making artistic decisions—nonfictional donors, take notes. ArtsWest Playhouse, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339, $10–$22. Thurs–Sat at 7:30 pm. Through April 29.

recommended CHERRY, CHERRY, LEMON

Opening. Keri Healey’s neato 2001 comedy about small penises, ex-lovers, orgasms, and psychotherapy. Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, www.ticketwindowonline.com. $7–$12. Preview performance Thurs April 20 at 8 pm. Opening Fri April 21 at 8 pm. Sat at 8 pm. Through May 13.

DEFENDING THE CAVEMAN

Ongoing. A mid-’90s relic about the supposed prehistoric propensities of the two sexes. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $39.50–$45. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Tickets available through May 28.

DINNER & DREAMS

Ongoing. The dinner-theater extravaganza, with European-style cirque performances as garnish. Teatro ZinZanni, 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015. $99–$125. Wed–Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm.

FOOLS

Final week. Russians, love, and a “Curse of Stupidity.” SecondStory Repertory, 16587 NE 74th St, Redmond, 425-881-6777. $18–$24. Fri–Sat at 8:15 pm. Through April 22.

HONUS AND ME

A tale of self-confidence and baseball, featuring Stranger Genius Award–winner Gabriel Baron. Seattle Children’s Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441-3322. $16–$31. Fri at 7 pm, Sat–Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through June 11.

HOUSE OF MIRTH

Opening. Based on the novel by Edith Wharton, the woman who supposedly said: “The American landscape has no foreground and the American mind no background.” Book-It at Center House Theater, 305 Harrison St, 216-0833. $15–$30. Opening Fri April 21 at 7:30 pm. Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Wed at 7:30 pm. Through May 13.

JUNIE B. JONES AND A LITTLE MONKEY BUSINESS

It sounds like a Belle and Sebastian song, but it’s actually a bright musical about a feisty kindergartner. Seattle Children’s Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441–3322. $16–$31. Fri at 7 pm, Sat–Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through June 18.

LATE NITE CATECHISM

Ongoing. “The real point is not the adult-catechism monologue, but the script’s gaps, in which Sister Aubrey Manning dispenses tissues to cover salacious displays of flesh and kitschy prizes to reward the dumbstruck targets of her improvisations.” (Annie Wagner) Cloud 9 Productions at ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50–$29.50. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Tickets available through August 27.

recommended LOBBY HERO

See Stranger Suggests. Seattle Public Theater at Bathhouse Theater, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 524-1300. $12–$20. Thurs–Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through April 30.

MENOPAUSE THE MUSICAL™

Ongoing. “What makes this toweringly formulaic crap about dusty uteruses even moderately bearable? The consummate cast was ferocious and fast.” (Adrian Ryan) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $45. Thurs–Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 4 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Tues–Wed at 8 pm. Tickets available through May 28.

MISS AMERICA: A FUGUE BORN IN 1969

See review this issue. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $18, under 18 free, Thurs by donation. Thurs–Sat at 8. Through May 20.

PATTY RED PANTS

Opening. Old friends, questioned girlhood, and a murdered child. Live Girls Theatre, 2220 NW Market St, 800-838-3006. $9–$12. Opening Fri April 21 at 8 pm. Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through May 7.

ROUNDING THIRD

A comedy about parenthood and little league. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $10–$46 (Thurs by donation). Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through May 14.

RUMPLESTILTSKIN

Opening. A musical comedy for the kiddies. StoryBook Theater at Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave, Kirkland, 425-893-9900. $7.50. Opening Sat April 22 at 11 am, 1 and 3 pm. Sun at 1 and 3 pm. Through April 30.

recommended SHOWGIRLS WITH DAVID SCHMADER

One night only. David Schmader is the world’s foremost authority on the brilliant horribleness of Paul Verhoeven’s Showgirls and has made an art form of performing commentary alongside the film—he even provided the commentary track to MGM’s special-edition Showgirls DVD in 2004. Showgirls without Schmader is like grilled cheese without the cheese. Triple Door, 216 Union St, 838-4333. $15 (18+). Wed April 26 at 7:30 pm.

STOMP

Final week.From www.myspace.com: “Who I’d like to meet: Anyone in that stupid Stomp thing. I’d like to meet someone in Stomp and cut their arms and legs off so they won’t ever be able to stomp again. That’s who I’d like to meet.” Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 292-2787. $27.50–$37.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7 pm. Through April 23.

recommended STONES IN HIS POCKETS

Extended. “This two-man show about Irish extras in a Hollywood movie is like a well-made sandwich—warm, charming, and full of cheese.” (Brendan Kiley) Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 388-0569. $18–$20. Thurs–Sat at 7:30 pm, Mon at 7:30 pm. Through May 27.

THE SWAN

See review this issue. Atlas Theatre at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 800-838-3006. $10–$12. Fri–Sat at 8 pm, Mon at 8 pm. Through April 29.

TOLD YOU ONCE (TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES)

See review this issue. Poisonous Toy Theater at Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, www.brownpapertickets.com. $12–$15. Fri–Sat at 8 pm. Through May 6.

TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE

One man spends Tuesdays watching his mentor die of Lou Gehrig’s disease and gets edified. Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $10–$46. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Tues–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through May 7.

recommended THE VOICE OF THE PRAIRIE

Final week. John Olive’s 1986 play, set in the early days of radio, is so sweet that it flirts with predictability and hokiness. But the play, with its dark Faulknerian undertones, is neither dim nor dangerous, and Taproot Theatre mines its strengths thanks to some solid acting, sound direction by Scott Nolte, and an imaginative set that brings it all together.” (Jen Graves) Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $15–$30. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through April 22.

WHAT YOU SING MIGHT SAVE YOU

The only reason to see What You Sing Might Save You is the songs—original compositions, familiar tunes with adapted lyrics, and straight-up covers. The members of Sissyfist, who read lines of movie dialogue off their music stands, can’t act; the framing device is a groaner. But if you want to see Nick Garrison in a wig, singing his heart out, go to Re-bar. Again.” (Annie Wagner) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 233-9873. $18. Fri–Sun at 8 pm. Through April 30.

WOMAN/GIRL

Opening. A 15-year-old starts dating her mother’s 33-year-old friend. Experimental Theatre Project at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, www.brownpapertickets.com. $9–$15. Opening Fri April 21 at 8 pm. Sat at 3 and 8 pm. Through May 6.

WRECK THE AIRLINE BARRIER

It’s difficult to get purchase on Wreck the Airline Barrier—it’s a scattered, impressionistic collection of outsized caricatures and sharp lines that riff on God, bigotry, pop culture, and violence. And it takes place on an airplane. The script, by Adriano Shaplin, is a mess, ranging from brutally funny (“This next song is about how difficult it is to communicate with words; it’s dedicated to a friend of mine who committed suicide and didn’t leave a note”) to pleasantly surreal (“Once upon a time, you can’t always get what you want, in the Land of I’m Not Sure I Understand You, they put handcuffs on flowers”) to incantatory (“This goes out to all my New Age muthafuckas, all my plane-crash niggas, all my nigga niggas, all my white-trash Jerry Springer niggas” repeated over and over). Once the shock of the play’s vicious language and fractured surrealism take over, it gets funny. And then tedious. And then really tedious—the lines keep spilling out and Shaplin doesn’t know when to turn off the faucet.” (Brendan Kiley) Brownbox Theatre at Rainier Valley Cultural Center, 3515 S Alaska St, 325-6500. $12–$15. Fri–Sat at 9 pm. Through April 29.

DANCE

recommended BUTTROCK SUITES III: SWEETEST

Some people like modern dance. Some people like headbanger rock. But everybody likes ’em together. Sometimes Diana Cardiff and her crüe take the dance and the music seriously, sometimes they’re just goofing, but either way, you’ll be sitting in a crowd of strangers, drinking cheap beer, and shouting along to Bon Jovi, the Scorpions, and Guns N’ Roses.” (Brendan Kiley) Velocity Dance Center, 915 E Pine St, 722-0963. $12 adv/$15 DOS. Fri–Sun at 8 pm. Through April 23.

MOMENTS

One weekend only. A mixed repertoire. ARC Dance Productions at Shorecrest Performing Arts Center, 15343 NW 25th Ave, Shoreline, 352-0798. $10–$20. Fri–Sat at 7:30 pm.

THE SLEEPING BEAUTY

Final week. Ronald Hynd’s version of the fairy tale, first published in Charles Perrault’s 1697 The Tales ofMother Goose. Pacific Northwest Ballet at McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St, 441-2424. $20–$134. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 1 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 1 pm. Through April 23.

CABARET

BURLESQUE BEHIND THE PINK DOOR

With Paula the Swedish Housewife. Pink Door, 1919 Post Alley. No reservations required. $10. (21+ w/ID.) Sat at 10:30 pm. Through April 29.

recommended CIRCUS CONTRAPTION’S PAJAMA PARTY

One night only. See Stranger Suggests. Consolidated Works, 500 Boren Ave N, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15–$18 (21+ w/ID). Sat at 9 pm.

CAN CAN

One weekend only. Can Can dancers and the Kitchen Syncopaters. Can Can Kitchen & Cabaret, 94 Pike St, 652-0832. $7–$8. Fri–Sat at 10 pm.

SONDHEIM, NEWMAN, AND WEILL

Final week. That’s Randy Newman, one of the greatest songwriters ever. Steve and Kurt were pretty okay, too. Black Box Opera at Columbia City Theatre, 4916 Rainier Ave S, 800-838-3006. $15 adv/$20 DOS. Fri at 7:30 pm.

TREY PARKER’S CANNIBAL! THE MUSICAL GAY CABARET EDITION

Opening. The infamous slasher spoof by Trey Parker (of South Park) recast as gay cabaret dinner theater. “The most surprising, insane, and ultimately tragic thing about Cannibal! was the actual presence, in the actual audience, of the actual Trey Parker. Quiet, cordial, and extremely focused on whatever he was eating, Parker spent most of the evening not laughing, not smiling, and somehow not openly weeping.” (Lindy West) Thumpers, 1500 E Madison St, 328-3800. $15. Opening Fri April 21 at 7 pm. Fri at 7 pm. Through May 13.

IMPROV & COMEDY

Cathy Sorbo at Comedy Underground, 222 Main St, 800-325-7328. $6–$15 (21+ w/ID required). Thurs at 8:30 pm, Fri–Sat at 8:30 and 10:30 pm. Duane Goad, Jeff Dye at Giggles Comedy Club, 5220 Roosevelt Way NE, 526-5653. $12. Fri–Sat at 8 and 10 pm. Jet City Improv at Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 325–6500. $8–$10. Fri at 10:30 pm. Sat at 8 and 10:30 pm. Theatresports at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. $8–$12. Fri–Sat at 10:30 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Comedy Night at Mirabeau Room, 529 Queen Anne Ave N, www.prokomedy.com. $5. Wed at 8 pm.

86’D

Improv actors from Jet City, Seattle goga, Live Girls, etc., in an improv “jam session.” Jerk Alert Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $3. Sun at 8:30 pm. Through May 21.

CUT!

Final week. “Cut! is good improv—it’s funny, it’s smart, it’s quick. But even good improv is still, you know, improv.” (Lindy West) Wing-It Productions at Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 352-8291. $8–$10. Thurs–Fri at 8 pm.

THE LEISURE TIME LEISURE HOUR

One weekend only. A comedy about the golden age of radio.Chalice Players at Unity Theater, 19 1/2 North Bend Way, North Bend, 425-417-5667. $7.50–$10. Fri–Sat at 7:30 pm.

recommended MARKET SHARES

One weekend only. Improv drama inspired by the real-life stories of members of the Pike Market Senior Center. A fundraiser for said Center—go on, make the seniors feel better. As the immortal Brendan Behan wrote: “I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.” Unexpected Productions at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, www.unexpectedproductions.org, $20. Fri–Sat at 7 pm.

STIMULUS

An improv show that “elicits a physiological or psychological response,” which just sounds weird. Jerk Alert Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $10. Sat at 10:30 pm. Through May 20.

LATE NIGHT

CUPCAKE

Extended. A dirty, drinky improv where two fellas enact the audience’s “wildest dreams.” Wing-It Productions at Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, www.wingitpresents.com. $5. Sat at midnight. Through May 28.

VERBATIM VERBOTEN

Word-for-word readings of celebrities’ illicitly recorded conversations and correspondence. Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 624-4455. $10. Fri at midnight. Through April 28.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE: LIVE!

Opening. The late-night hit returns with “Third From the Sun” and “A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain.” Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12. Preview Thurs April 20 at 11 pm, by donation. Opening Fri April 21 at 11 pm. Sat at 11 pm. Through May 20.

SPECIAL EVENTS

ARTISTS ONLINE: LEGAL PITFALLS AND PERILS IN THE DIGITAL WORLD

One day only.911 Media Arts Center, 402 Ninth Ave N, www.ticketwindowonline.com (type “legal” in search window). $20–$40. Thurs at 11:45 am.

A BAD FRIEND

Reading of a play about a teen member of the Communist Party in 1953 New York. Mirror Stage Company at Pigott Auditorium, Seattle University, 686-3729. Free. Sun at 2 pm. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 686-3729. Free. Mon at 7 pm.

BILL’S BIRTHDAY BASH

One night only. Celebrate Shakespeare’s birthday by getting loaded and barfing your hors d’oeuvres on the carpet! Also: fundraising auctions!Seattle Shakespeare Company at Center House Theatre, 305 Harrison St, 733-8222. $35–$45. Mon at 5:30–9 pm.

DANCE DAY

One day only. Classes, yoga, and a dance jam! Dance Art Group at Velocity Dance Center, 915 E Pine St, 686-7323. $15–$30. Sun from 10 am–6 pm.

HOW TO SAVE THE WORLD

One night only. A journalist-cum-Buddhist monk-cum-activist-cum-monologist performs his solo show. Alan Clements at Town Hall Seattle, 1119 Eighth Ave, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20–$25. Sat at 8 pm.

I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT: A PROM REVIVAL EVENT

One night only. A crazy big benefit for Strike Anywhere Productions. Re-Bar, 1114 Howell St, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15–$18. (21+ w/ID) Sat at 10 pm.

OPEN BOX: AN OPEN MIC FOR PLAYWRIGHTS

One night only.Seattle Dramatists at Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave. $3. Sat at 4:30 pm.

PROMETHEUS UNWED

One night only. A reading of a new play by Scot Augustson.Seattle Dramatists at Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave. Free. Mon at 7 pm.

WOMEN PLAYWRIGHTS FESTIVAL

One weekend only. Readings of plays by Laurie Carlos, Alva Rogers, and others.Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, www.seattlerep.org for schedule and tickets. $10–$30. Thurs–Sun.