Am I a complete asshole for hating Capitol Hill High 4: Seeing Red: The Final Period? I mean, I get what they're trying to do. Bad acting is funny. Soap operas are funny. Sometimes people who live on Capitol Hill—and, um, everywhere—are not in high school, but behave as though they are in high school. Also, gays are here, and sometimes gays like to slap each other with used condoms, or maybe even say something outrageous. But does that warrant a play? Does that warrant four plays? Will someone please bring this complete asshole some fucking gin already?

Seeing Red is the last installment of what must be approaching—oh my god—eight hours of serial site-specific comedy. Only vaguely about high school and even less about Capitol Hill (barring some Neumo's references and dumb smoking-ban jokes—"There's a spot behind a Dumpster on Boren where it's still okay"), this episode concerns murders, a sticky web of lust, Heather Locklear's loins, and a wooden box. It's like a live-action Passions, all goth witchery and gay humpery, only more proud of itself and less interesting.

I am not trying to be a complete asshole. The writing isn't all bad. Underground Railroad–themed prom? Funny! "Do I smell miscarriage?" Funny! Tricia Beigh (Beatrice) channels the bitchiness of 90210-era Shannen Doherty, and Peter Robinson (Mr. Buckles) looks enough like Don Adams to send me into pleasant Get Smart daydreams. And Craig Trolli as Guy, glassy-eyed übergay, pulls off some perfectly poisonous deadpan: "I wish you were here to help me write World Trade Center: The Musical. I need something to help me get past that day." But it's still more proud of itself than interesting.

Sorry, guys. If I see you around Capitol Hill, I'll understand if you slap me across the face with a used condom. Just try to keep it under two hours this time. Complete assholes got shit to do. recommended