This stuff will rule harder than Qaddafi, or your money back. (That is half true.)

Brown Derby

Ian Bell and his band of merry deviants have been torturing movie scripts almost beyond recognition for years, but his Brown Derby series is still one of the most reliably entertaining seasons in town. In 2011, they're taking on the venerable Stephen King. This very weekend is a send-up of The Shining with Dusty Warren as Jack Nicholson, Nick Garrison as his "Chihuahua-like wife" Shelley Duvall, and Garth Skovgard and Tom Conquergood as the Creepy Twins. In May, they'll tweak Stand by Me, which may be the most homoerotic thing you've ever seen this side of the Grindr app. March–June, Re-bar. BRENDAN KILEY

'The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs'

Once the heir apparent, Mike Daisey is now the legal and notarized heir to Spalding Gray's wooden table, glass of water, and discursive, deeply entertaining stories that bob between the evisceratingly personal and the universal. And now he's getting political. For The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs, Daisey went to China and talked with people about the horrible human suffering that goes into those iPhones, iPads, and other iThings—stress, suicides, repetitive labor at an eye- and finger-breakingly minute scale. Jen Graves saw an early workshop version of the show last summer and predicted that this final version would be "electric, poetic, and highly human." April 22–May 22, Seattle Repertory Theatre. BK

'The Prisoner of Second Avenue'

Yeah, I know: Neil Simon and his Trademark Zingers™ isn't typically our speed, but if there's one director who can be trusted to bring out the heat and light of an old chestnut, it's Warner Shook. Shook specializes in grim comedies about domestic roils and has directed some of Seattle's most memorable productions in content (Albee's The Goat and Three Tall Women), style (Clare Boothe Luce's The Women), and, occasionally, both. He'll be polishing up new facets of this old stone about newly unemployed Mel, his wife Edna, and a New York heat wave (plus a garbage strike). April 29–May 29, ACT. BK

'Fabulous Prizes'

The Satori Group relocated to Seattle after researching several cities and judging ours Most Likely to Be Colonized by a Small Theater Company. Satori has been kicking and growing since then, putting up the occasional show and also forging relationships with companies in Seattle, Portland, and Philadelphia. Their new Fabulous Prizes, by Seattle's Neil Ferron (who wrote it while studying at Trinity College Dublin), opens up the door of a basement apartment where a failed restaurateur and his son have lived for 28 years. "Overwhelmed by the hope of a single letter," writes Satori's Caitlin Sullivan, the men "create a world of distorted grandeur." The play stars Nathan Sorseth, last seen at WET as a beleaguered Titus Andronicus. May 6–30, 619 Western Building. BK

'Degenerate Art Ensemble's Red Shoes'

Do you remember the fairy tale of the red shoes? Briefly: A girl likes to dance, puts on some red shoes that won't let her stop dancing, gets her feet cut off. Artists have long leveraged this old Grimm's story into a parable for the artist's life, and Degenerate Art Ensemble's Red Shoes is no different—except their Red Shoes will cap their tenure as installation artists at the Frye Art Museum and they'll be using the whole building to tell their tale, from the pool out front to a fenced-in area in the back (that you've probably never seen before). Along for the ride: DAE's collection of musicians, dancers, reengineered instruments, bizarre costumes, more bizarre machines, and an entire choir from St. James Cathedral. May 12–June 2, Frye Art Museum. BK

'El Gallo'

Mexico City's avant-garde theater freaks Teatro de Ciertos Habitantes (Theater of Certain Residents/Inhabitants) perform an "absurd opera" (a little music, a little dance, a little theater) about the intensity, discomfort, and unintentional comedy of trying to put together a full performance in two short weeks. Normally, theater-about-making-theater is a suspiciously solipsistic proposition, but El Gallo sounds vital and promising. One review from the Mexican newspaper Milenio describes one of the performers as "tense" as she "tries to be gracious and thank her executioner." With music by British composer Paul Barker and a live octet. May 12–15, On the Boards. BK