1308 Fifth Ave, 625-1900,

Oliver! (Through Dec 31): The most exclamatory Dickens adaptation of all time, directed by David Armstrong and starring David Pichette as Fagin, Hans Altwies as Bill Sykes, and Merideth Kaye Clark as Nancy.

Spamalot (Jan 30 through March 2): The musical adaptation of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "lovingly ripped off" from the original with book, lyrics, and some music by Eric Idle.


427 Ninth Ave N,

The Penelopiad (Dec 5 through Dec 9): Margaret Atwood's theatrical response to Homer's Odyssey finds Penelope serving an eternal sentence in Hades, reflecting on Odysseus's violent homecoming. Produced by Cornish College of the Arts.


5801 Sand Point Way NE,

Strange Snow (Dec 6 through Dec 21): Two men, dealing with the emotional baggage of military service, make plans to go fishing. Drama subverts these plans. Presented by Seattle Immersive Theatre.


700 Union St, 292-7660,

A Christmas Carol (Nov 29 through Dec 29): There's an obvious affinity between Charles Dickens and Karl Marx. Both were writing in the same city (London) at the same time (the mid-1800s), and both were teeth-grindingly pissed off about economic and political inequality. Dickens published his polemical holiday myth about specters haunting a London miser in 1843, five years before Marx and Engels would announce that "a specter is haunting Europe" in The Communist Manifesto. Marx was a big Dickens fan.

Ham for the Holidays: Close Encounters of the Pork Rind (Dec 5 through Dec 22): The annual holiday sketch-comedy show by Lisa Koch and Peggy Plat, described by ACT's press office as "Carol Burnett on steroids."

14/48: The World’s Quickest Theater Festival (Jan 10 through 18): The world's quickest theater festival, in which playwrights, directors, actors, musicians, and designers write, rehearse, and perform 14 new short plays in 48 hours. The event is somewhere between art marathon and community bonding event, where strict conditions do their best to broil all the preciousness out of the theater-making process. This year, seven visual artists will join the party, painting responses to the performances.

Sandbox Radio: Live! (Mon Jan 13): Live radio-theater performed in front of an audience by members of the Sandbox Artists Collective. This round will include short scripts by Elizabeth Heffron, Wayne Rawley, Paul Mullin, and Scot Augustson with special guest Jeopardy champ Ken Jennings and new music from piano man Jose “Juicy” Gonzales.

Red Tiger Tales (Jan 31 through Feb 2): The UMO Ensemble performs Buddhist and Sufi folktales with puppetry, masks, and clowning.

Nirvanov (Feb 27 through March 16): Balagan Theater presents this new mash-up between Chekhov's Ivanov (about a melancholy Russian official who's conflicted about his life, his wife, and his estate) and the life of Kurt Cobain. Both characters are also suicides. By David Lee and Nandi Johanes, directed by David Lee.

Great Soul of Russia (Ongoing, third Thursdays): The Seagull Project returns with its reading series of Russian writers (Mayakovsky, Gogol, et al.) leading up to its new production of Chekhov's The Three Sisters.

Endangered Species Project (Ongoing, first Mondays): Reading of seldom-seen plays.


1100 E Pike St, 728-0933,

Spin the Bottle (Ongoing): The long-running, late-night variety show where you can find just about anything: nervy comedy, smutty puppets, trailers for new plays, experimental films, erotica, an irate actor singing an angry song to a theater critic before slapping a pie in his face, rapturous covers of Madonna songs, drag, burlesque, demonstrations of practical household skills, the occasional sincere poet, and stuff you can't even imagine.

Black Like Us (Jan 31 through March 1): A story of racial identity in Seattle from 1958 (when a young woman decides to begin passing as white) to 2013 (when three sisters find out a family secret). Written by Rachel Atkins, directed by Jose Amador.

Story and Song (Feb 4 through Feb 26): New fairy tales by Bret Fetzer, performed with a blues-folk choral backdrop by Sari Breznau and Eric Padget in this production that promises "alligators, debutantes, whimsy, and wonder."


4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339,

Little Women (Nov 29 through Dec 29): A Broadway musical based on the novel in which the hashish-addled Louisa May Alcott introduced the yet-to-be-fully-dismissed theory that girls are, in fact, just littler versions of adult human women. Directed by Mathew Wright.

The Little Dog Laughed (Jan 22 through Feb 8): A play by Douglas Carter Beane about an actor, his agent, and her worries about how his "slight recurring case of homosexuality," including a physical relationship with a hustler, might damage his career. Directed by Annie Lareau.


Seattle Center Armory, 684-7200,

Holiday of Errors (or Much Ado About Stockings) (Dec 6 through Dec 21): A Shakespearean holiday mash-up (by Sound Theatre Company and One Lump or Two Productions) that boasts a boatload of historical inaccuracies.

Richard II (Jan 8 through Feb 2): Seattle Shakespeare Company performs this history play about a king, "more poet than monarch," and the challenges to his throne. Directed by Rosa Joshi.

Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus (Feb 14 through March 9): A man makes a man out of many men. Adapted and directed by David Quicksall for Book-It Repertory Theatre.


201 Mercer St, 441-7178,

Cabaret (Nov 29 through Dec 13): A staging of Cabaret by Arts on the Waterfront that comments on contemporary Russian persecution of the LGBTQ community. Starring Wes Hurley and Zachary Simonson and featuring video clips from real-life vigilantes and young fascists talking about the situation in Russia.

ThanksKilling (Nov 29 through Dec 14): A comedy musical adaptation of the cult-horror holiday film. A production of Balagan Theatre.

It's a Wonderful Life (Dec 14): A stage adaptation of the Capra classic by Theater Anonymous. This company's central device is the anonymity of the cast—not even the other cast members know who's in the show until an actor speaks his/her first line and rises from the anonymity of the audience.

Jinkx Monsoon & Major Scales (Dec 15): A holiday-themed performance from the Cornish alum and RuPaul's Drag Race champion.


4029 Stone Way N, 633-1883,

A Child's Christmas in Wales and The Long Christmas Dinner (Dec 5 through Dec 24): Two short Christmas plays featuring child and adult performers.

Doubt (Feb 14 through March 8): A questioning nun, a questionable priest, a possible child-abuse scandal, and an off-Broadway success for playwright John Patrick Shanley that was adapted for the screen in 2008 and is now performed by Stone Soup Theater.


1214 10th Ave, 679-3271,

Total Family Massage: The Musical (Dec 12 through Dec 29): A world premiere by Copious Love Productions in which a wedding reception in Seattle goes sideways with an erotic masseur, a psychic, and a Baptist busybody.


4301 Leary Way NW, 800-838-3600

Dick Whittington and His Cat (Dec 7 through Jan 5): A new British panto (a traditional genre in which kids are welcome, as is shouting at the stage) about a boy and his cat and the fantastical adventures they have. Featuring the Fremont Players and the Fremont Philharmonic Orchestra.


1634 11th Ave, 322-7030,

The Salesman Is Dead and Gone (Dec 5 through Dec 21): The Splinter Group presents this nonverbal journey into the afterlife of Willy Loman, created and directed by Paul Budraitis (Bo-Nita), and using physical theater, video, and "an original soundscape" by Evan Mosher.


350 Kirkland Ave, Kirkland, 425-893-9900,

Celtic Christmas Celebration (Dec 13 through Dec 14): A Christmas variety show featuring violinist Geoffrey Castle, now in its sixth year, that blends storytelling, dance, music, and "a visit from Santa Claus."


UW Campus, 543-4880,

Reading to Vegetables (Jan 29 through Feb 9): This "Hitchcockian" thriller, directed by UW student Tina Polzin, draws its inspiration from the infamous Milgram psychological experiments of the 1960s.


1932 Second Ave, 812-3284,

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Dec 17 through Dec 22): See above.

Jerry Springer: The Opera (Jan 9 through Jan 26): Set on the "worst day of his career," this musical sends Jerry Springer to hell to put on a show for Satan, then up to heaven to give God a hand. It infamously includes tap-dancing Ku Klux Klan members. A coproduction between Balagan Theatre and Seattle Theatre Group.


1515 12th Ave, 267-5380,

Monstrous (Dec 5 through Dec 7): A new work by Stranger Genius Award winner Rebecca Brown about monsters, romantic authors, and how their "images and ideas have informed our concept of what is 'cinematic.'"


100 W Roy St, 217-9888,

The Clay Duke (Dec 5 through Dec 8): In 2010, a man named Clay Duke walked into a Florida school board meeting and fired a dozen rounds, hitting nobody. After being shot several times by a security guard, Duke shot himself in the head. Using this event as a starting point, local choreographer and filmmaker Dayna Hanson assembled a group of collaborators (including Sarah Rudinoff, Wade Madsen, Peggy Piacenza, and Thomas Graves of the Rude Mechs in Austin) to create a piece about Chekhovian suicide, Charles Bronson, and revenge.

There There (Jan 9 through Jan 12): See page 29.

The Room Nobody Knows (Feb 6 through Feb 9): The comically surreal sexual psychodrama in the mind of an "overworked and undersexed" Japanese student. This show by Niwa Gekidan Penino (led by playwright, director, and former psychiatrist Kuro Tanino) contains giant phalluses.


911 Pine St, 812-3284,

Stuart McLean & the Vinyl Cafe (Dec 11): A live radio show from the Garrison Keillor of Canada (he probably hates it when people call him that).

Cirque Dream Holidaze (Dec 20 through Dec 22): Acrobatic pageantry of the Christmas variety from this touring, tinsel-doused troupe of performers.

Evita (Dec 31 through Jan 5): The Webber-Rice joint about Eva Perón and her tearful South American country.


201 Thomas St, 441-3322,

James and the Giant Peach (Through Jan 5): A musical adaptation of Roald Dahl's fantasy about a boy and a peach-load of giant bugs going on a transatlantic journey.


7210 62nd Ave NE, 363-2809,

A Christmas Carol (Dec 6 through Dec 22): There is no shortage of Dickens adaptations in the city during this, or any, Christmas season. Last year, Cienna Madrid wrote of Seattle Musical Theatre's holiday efforts: "If daytime Emmys were awarded to community-theater casts, Seattle Musical Theatre would be in the running for a shiny new paperweight." Directed by Rick Wright.

Scrooge! (Dec 6 through Dec 22): A 1992 musical tale of ghost-facilitated redemption by Leslie Bricusse.


7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 524-1300,

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (Dec 6 through Dec 23): Seattle Public Theater's annual production about "the horrible Herdman family" and how they wreak havoc on a community Christmas pageant. Directed by Shana Bestock.

The Santaland Diaries (Dec 6 through Dec 22): This Christmas play by David Sedaris is "for mature elves only" and stars Patrick Lennon as Crumpet the Elf, as directed by Kelly Kitchens.

American Wee-Pie (Jan 24 through Feb 16): A man returns to his small hometown to spread his mother's ashes. As if that's not depressing enough, he's a professional textbook editor. But he nudges his way toward a happier life via a former high-school classmate and her French-baker husband who run a cupcake emporium together. Directed by Anita Montgomery.


155 Mercer St, Seattle Center, 443-2222,

The Hound of the Baskervilles (Through Dec 15): Sherlock Holmes attempts to outwit a large dog in this most famous of Arthur Conan Doyle stories, adapted for the stage by David Pichette and R. Hamilton Wright.

A Great Wilderness (Jan 17 through Feb 16): A drama about an aging de-gayer (or whatever you call people who try to coach other people into straightness) who is forced to confront his life's legacy by one final client. Directed by Braden Abraham.

Venus in Fur (Feb 7 through March 9): An audition-within-a-play escalates into a sexually charged coup as an actress, who initially seems needy and crass, turns the tables on a playwright who has written a stage adaptation of the 19th-century BDSM novel Venus in Furs (and thinks he's in charge). Directed by Shana Cooper.


16101 Greenwood Ave N, Shoreline, 546-4101,

Costly Desires (Jan 10 through Jan 11): A multimedia stage performance that takes human trafficking as its subject. A production of Dry Bones Collective.


1426 First Ave, 628-3151,

The Rocky Horror Show (Dec 28): Chandelier Productions promises more blood, more sex, and more muscle in their new Rocky Horror staging. And there will be a real "rock-n-roll" band. Directed by Georgina Spelvin.


204 N 85th St, 781-9707,

Le Club Noel (Nov 29 through Dec 28): This Christmas production by local artists is set in a 1930s Parisian cabaret with an undercurrent of approaching war.

Mr. Pim Passes By (Jan 31 through March 1): A light comedy in which marriages and relationships are farcically called into question by the arrival of Mr. Pim. Written by A. A. Milne.


222 Mercer St, 802-0015,

Hail Caesar: Forbidden Oasis (Through Jan 26): Frank Ferrante returns to his recurring character Chef Caesar, along with a Ukrainian contortionist, a trapeze act, the acrobats Les Petits Frères, and former Cirque du Soleil performer Andrea Conway Doba.

Tambourine Submarine (Through Dec 15): Family-friendly "sea-nanigans" including an aerialist, a ballerina, and the nautical-themed children's entertainers Recess Monkey.


409 Seventh Ave S, 340-1049,

An Xmas Carol Project (Dec 5 through Dec 7): The new twist employed in this riff on the hoary old Carol: Different parts of the play are interpreted by different theater companies, including STAGEright, Confrontational, Lungfish Productions, Quiet Theatre, and Blood Ensemble.


303 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202,

Les Miserables (Through Jan 5): An astute wordsmith will likely notice that the title of this popular musical is an anagram for "less miserable," which is all the good, poor people of France have ever wanted to be.

The Foreigner (Jan 23 through March 2): A man pretends to not speak English in order to get some peace and quiet while on vacation. He realizes instead that his ruse puts him in a position to hear intriguing things said by people who think he can't understand them.


608 19th Ave E, 325-5105,

Ed, Downloaded (Jan 31 through Feb 24): Michael Mitnick's sci-fi drama set in the (hopefully) near future where a digital immortality device allows expired users to dwell in a virtual heaven pieced together from their own pleasant memories. Directed by Ali el-Gasseir.

The Icelandic Illumination Rangers (Feb 1 through Feb 23): This synth-infused arctic adventure finds our hero attempting to locate and restore the aurora borealis with detours into solar winds, magnetic poles, and the Reykjavik pop scene. Another in Ali el-Gasseir and Jonah Von Spreecken's series of new mystery-comedies for small children and the grown-ups who accompany them.

Too Famous to Blame Us (Feb 4): An installment in the Six Pack reading series, where playwrights and writers are encouraged to let loose on a theme. Sometimes audience members get up and tell their own stories. There has also been Jell-O wrestling.


153 14th Ave S,

Santa Breakfast and Mini Nutcracker (Through Dec 21): Another Nutcracker. Explicitly family-oriented.

12 Minutes Max (Feb 2 through Feb 3): The long-running R&D wing of On the Boards where artists try out new scraps of dance, theater, music, film, and stuff that defies categorization. Each month is curated by a new cadre of artists, thinkers, and community members.


203 N 36th St, 352-1777,

Christmas: B-Sides and Rarities (Dec 16): A one-night variety show celebrating the darker side of Christmas with storytelling from Jennifer Jasper, "theatrical bits" by Daniel Tarker and others, buffoonery from Christine and Lyam White (of UMO), and ukuleles.



9250 14th Ave NW, 352-0798,

Nutcracker Sweets (Dec 13 through Dec 15): A child-friendly version of the holiday classic performed by the students of the ARC School of Ballet.

Broadway Performance Hall

1625 Broadway,

New Moves Concert (Dec 6 through Dec 7): Choreography and performance from students at Cornish.


4916 Rainier Ave S, 723-0088,

The Best Burlesque Pageant Ever (Dec 6 through Dec 8): A Christmas special that promises to be "dripping with sex appeal" from the edgy five-woman troupe Stripped Screw Burlesque.


4001 E Stevens Way NE, UW Campus,

Reign Supreme (Dec 6 through Dec 7): An international breakdance battle with a $3,000 prize!


321 Mercer St, 684-7200,

Nutcracker (Through Dec 29): Pacific Northwest Ballet's annual return to the rat-riddled Christmas classic about heroic kitchen gadgetry.

The Sleeping Beauty (Jan 31 through Feb 9): A second course of Tchaikovsky will follow Pacific Northwest Ballet's run of Nutcracker. See above.


UW Campus, 543-4880,

Dance Faculty Concert (Jan 22 through Jan 26): UW School of Dance faculty showcase their choreographic erudition with a program of varied performances.

Grupo Corpo (Jan 23 through Jan 25): This Afro-Brazilian dance company will premiere Sem Mim, "inspired by the sea and the songs of medieval Galician-Portuguese troubadours," and O Corpo, "exploring ideas about movement and the human body."

Dance Majors Concert (Feb 26 through March 2): Presented by the choreographers, dancers, and designers of the UW School of Dance.


100 W Roy St, 217-9888,

Usually Beauty Fails (Jan 23 through Jan 26): Sex, love, and raw physicality are the themes of this dance performance with pop sounds by Montreal-based Frédérick Gravel and the Grouped'ArtGravelArtGroup.


1621 12th Ave, 325-8773,

Seattle Youth Dance Collective Showing (Dec 7): Teenage members of Velocity and STG's Youth Dance Collective showcase their work.

The Bridge Project 2014 (Jan 31 through Feb 2): The Bridge Project is one of Velocity Dance Center's great gifts to the city—you want to find the next important dancer or choreographer (or musician or designer or filmmaker) in this town? That person might be here. This will, as usual, be four new works created in three "pressure-cooker" weeks by emerging artists.

Super Eagle (Feb 13 through Feb 16): See above.



93 Pike St, Suite 307, 652-0832,

Can Can Castaways (Ongoing): The Can Can Castaways, as we've often said in The Stranger, are like a gateway drug for modern dance. People show up at the subterranean, red-lit bar, order a few drinks, expect to see some hardbodies dancing—and they get that. But what they also get is the expert choreography by Rainbow Fletcher and her team of dancers and designers (often the dancers are the designers) who create dreamscapes from the Moulin Rouge to a bondage club in Tokyo. Fletcher and her team have also performed at On the Boards and other, more august venues, and their marriage of artistry and sensuality is excellent.

The Inheritance (Through Dec 19): A three-part burlesque series in stages ("maiden," "mother," and "crone") with postshow discussions—so probably not your typical burlesque show. Featuring Jesse Belle-Jones, Dona Dei Cuori, Evilyn Sin Claire, and others from the Sinner Saint Burlesque Revue.


1118 E Pike St, 325-6492,

Mimosas with Mama (Ongoing): The demise of the Broadway Grill cannot stop drag diva Mama Tits from hosting this brunch buffet with the titular mimosas and a drag cabaret to go along with! Now find her/them/it at the (very festive) Narwhal, in the basement of the Unicorn.


915 E Pine St, Ste 200, 324-7263,

Homo for the Holidays (Dec 12 through Dec 24): You could call Homo for the Holidays a holiday-themed burlesque revue, but that would be like calling the virgin birth an unintended pregnancy. A merrily profane satire-ball wrapped in glitter and false eyelashes, Homo pulls in some of Seattle's best drag/dance/queer performance talents: Kitten LaRue, Cherdonna Shinatra, Lou Henry Hoover, Inge Ingenue, Faggedy Randy (of the Can Can Castaways), Jinkx Monsoon, and tons more. Jinkx will perform Dec 12–14 and Dec 23–24. Scott Shoemaker will perform Dec 18–22.


1919 Post Alley, 443-3241,

Burlesque Behind the Pink Door (Ongoing): The Pink Door has burlesque on Saturday nights plus aerial performances, music, cabaret, and other stuff on other nights.


2015 Boren Ave, 726-5066,

Tasteless/Appetites, A Cabaret (Dec 11 through Dec 13): "The themes of artistic relevance and passion are explored in this evening of parody" with songs by Michael Jackson, Sophie Tucker, the Starland Vocal Band, and others. Directed by Frances King and Timothy McCuen Piggee.


1114 Howell St, 233-9873,

Belltown Burlesque Revue (Dec 14): Featuring the talents of Mae Kim Beg, Maggie McMuffin, Vixen Valentine, and many more.

Wheel of Tease (Jan 4): An improvised burlesque performance with live music that includes acts from Morgan LaMay, Jesus la Pinga, Violet DeVille, and several others.


2320 Second Ave, 441-5823,

Family Affair (Ongoing): A monthly cabaret, hosted by Jennifer Jasper (I Can Hear You... But I'm Not Listening), in which guest artists "will be sharing their sick, hilarious, and ultimately relatable familial skeletons."


3803 Delridge Way SW, 935-2111,

Westside Burlesque Review (Ongoing): A monthly show with a rotating roster of burlesque performers.


216 Union St, 838-4333,

Land of the Sweets: The Burlesque Nutcracker (Dec 12 through Dec 24): Lily Verlaine and Jasper McCann return for this holiday production, described as a "spectacle of ecdysiastic pageantry."



125 Boren Ave N, 682-2513,

The Flipside Comedy Show (Ongoing): Jokes with a side of chicken parm. Folks who've appeared at recent Flipside shows: Harrold Gomez, Jen Seaman, Jubal Flagg, Gabriel Rutledge, and others.


315 Second Ave S, 839-1300,

Comedy at 88 Keys (Ongoing)

C.C. attle's

1701 E Olive Way, 323-4017,

Emmett Montgomery Presents: Beard Practice (Ongoing): The host and creator of Weird and Awesome with Emmett Montgomery at Annex Theatre hosts a weekly standup comedy open-mic night and "humor growth hour" for comedians of all levels.


4916 Rainier Ave S, 723-0088,

The Comedy Shop (Ongoing)


109 S Washington St, 628-0303,

Comedy at Comedy Underground (Ongoing)


235 Broadway E, 322-5781

Open Mic at Jai Thai (Ongoing): A popular spot for new comedians and experienced comedians working on new material.


5510 University Way NE, 352-8291,

It's Your Wonderful Life (Dec 5 through Dec 21): Like the movie It's a Wonderful Life, but with George Bailey's life substituted with the life of a willing audience member!

Jet City Improv (Ongoing)

Uncle Mike Ruins Christmas (Through Dec 21): An unscripted, hour-long theatrical Christmas production from the perspective of Uncle Mike. In the promotional photo, Uncle Mike is holding a beer. There are probably several other beers just outside of the frame.


12099 124th Ave, Kirkland,

Comedy at Laughs Comedy Spot (Ongoing): Open mic and touring acts.


1428 Post Alley, 587-2414,

Improv Seattle Showcase (Ongoing): Seattle's comedy and improv community on display.

A(n Improvised) Christmas Carol (Through Dec 28): The improvidickensian yuletide classic.

Xtreme New Year's Theatresports Party (Dec 31): Count down to 2014 with three hours of improvised entertainment.


1303 NE 45th St, 682-1414,

Rob Delaney (Dec 4): Standup comedy from Delaney, who won Comedy Central's 2012 "Funniest Person on Twitter" award. Okay, Rob, but this is real life now. Let's see how funny you are in real life.

A John Waters Christmas (Dec 5): John Waters and his "sleigh full of smut" with a Christmas-themed monologue-athon. Special guest at the event will be Moldy Peaches frontwoman Kimya Dawson.


2320 Second Ave, 441-5823,

Evan's Family Variety Show (Ongoing): An ongoing, family-friendly variety evening featuring jugglers, dancers, circus acts, magicians, and other acts that are not explicitly child-oriented, but explicitly child-friendly. So everyone should enjoy it.

Comedy Womb (Ongoing): The rules of this pro-lady standup night are refreshing in their simplicity: no misogyny and no heckling. Based on the size, quality, and diversity of the crowds it attracts, the rules work. Every Tuesday night, fans pack the Rendezvous Grotto to watch two and a half hours of comedy, about half of which is delivered by women. Having so many women onstage and in the crowd makes male comics more mindful of their sets and their audience, while reinforcing what should be obvious: Women can be just as funny (or unfunny) as men. Equality, hurrah!


911 Pine St, 812-3284,

Stephanie Miller (Dec 14): The political commentator and comedian on her "Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour" with special guests John Fugelsang and Hal Sparks.

Jerry Seinfeld (Feb 7): The comedian, known by some for his work in Seinfeld.


700 Bellevue Way, #300, Bellevue, 425-289-7000,

Comedy at Parlor Live Comedy Club (Ongoing)


409 Seventh Ave S, 340-1049,

Coming Out Laughing (Jan 31 through Feb 1): LGBTQ comedy.

Special Events


815 Seattle Blvd S, 458-2716,

Satori SmashBash NYE (Dec 31): The Satori Group—a newish, boundary-pushing theater collective—kicks in the New Year, and celebrates its first year at Inscape Arts, with live music, DJs, and cheap drinks.