What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A gentleman caller retrieving me for a romantic dining pilgrimage to Stuart Anderson's; then we'll take in a movie -- maybe Curly Sue or Look Who's Talking. Then we'll go home and wake up my daughter Phoebe and take her to late-night amusement park rides somewhere.
What is your greatest fear?
That I will choke on a raisin in my sleep.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Bonnie Franklin.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Sometimes it hurts if I sit down too hard.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Anything by the designer Nolan Miller. He did "Dallasty." Also, Brazier Food.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
A hair-free back.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I don't really know. "Hair-free back"?
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My lovely daughter Phoebe. She shines. But she is a handful, too. She is a shining handful.
When and where were you happiest?
Recently, when Cascade Tim reissued his delicious Steak & Onion-flavored potato chips. We don't have them in Las Vegas, which is a shame because they are so easy to serve. Cleanup is easy, too. Sometimes though, if I haven't brushed for a long time, they hurt my tender gums.
What is your current state of mind?
I am so happy.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
The shape of my head. If we lived in a different kind of world, I would want a donut-shaped head, so people sitting behind me in theaters could see the screen through the hole in my head. I wish this because I am statue-like.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Every Sunday, I try to fry fudge for at-risk youth.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
The romanticer, the better. If he can pick me up and carry me anywhere, that's nice.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
If she is pretty and nice.
Who are your favorite writers?
Dear Abby, Paul Williams.
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
The nice lady spider from Charlotte's Web.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Dr. Marlene Evans from Days of Our Lives, and Jesus from The Bible.
What are your favorite names?
Boys: Soupy, Gallagher. Girls: Brittany, Britt'ny.
How would you like to die?
I would like to be applauded to death by a loving audience.
