1 is going to be thrilled to hear the Stranger upgraded this from a burglary to a robbery. Because violence, right? The great part will be when they take the evidence of a professional hit and use that not as proof that it was done by a professional burglar, but that Ballard's homeless are *that* much scarier than everybody else's homeless.
I'm sorry this happened - that store is/was the best.
White? Check. Male? Check. Lives in Ballard? Check. Burglarized? Check.

Fuck him. Right?
What the fella with the stuttering Lovecraftian moniker is suggesting is that this crime was more likely to be committed by a Sean Connery/Catherine Zeta Jones master thief duo than the hundreds of RV dwelling meth zombies whose sole source of income is grift and larceny. Also, people who are constantly coming home to litter, missing packages, human waste, broken car windows and drug paraphernalia AND get zero response from the police are unreasonable tyrants sneering at the wretched masses from their tiny kingdoms. This theory itself seems pretty removed from reality, but does get points for having all the makings of a misguidedly earnest art school film.
@4 -- LOL your name -- and yep, you're spot on.

@1 -- probably you can find a few loons attesting to such, but does their misguided commentary disqualify the fact that crime in Ballard at businesses and homes is causing real concern? Do we run a risk of ignoring a real issue if we just point at the most extreme voice and dismiss the issue accordingly?
@1 - I just checked the thread on NextDoor about this and, after 19 hours, it's just heartfelt sympathy -- no one calling out anyone or any type of person. So maybe you need to over there and stir it up some! The NIMBYs aren't frothing enough for you!
@1 wow that is such a weird thing to say. He's just some dude running a shop, it got broken into, stuff stolen. Nice compassion.
"The NIMBYs aren't frothing".


"Fuck him. Right? "... "Nice compassion."

I didn't say one word about the guy. I pointed out that it was a burglary, not a robbery. I pointed out that most of the time, the online trolls go wild with random accusations every time a store is burglarized. Someone with the trustworthy name of Corn Ball has attested that they didn't this time, they didn't. Great. For once. I hope it stays this way.

I guess everyone is bitching that I didn't post how sorry I am about his gold and jewels. Guess, what, assholes? I sent him my thoughts and prayers. Yeah, you didn't think of that did you? Thoughts and prayers, motherfuckers. Thoughts and prayers.

Anyway, the fact is this place was hit by somebody who cuts phone lines and power lines before busting the door open and cleaning out the choicest loot. Is your place next? Maybe. My thoughts and prayers might not be enough. I recommend anyone with diamonds and gold get a door that you can't just pry open with a big screwdriver. Did I mention all my prayers go to Great Cthulhu who extinguishes all light and hope? All the more reason for you with the gems and jewels to get yourself a decent door and maybe some insurance. Cthulhu normally intervenes in the affairs of Man in order to produce a sad ending, for all. He'll swallow the soul of the burglar, but he'll get you too. So there's that.

But compared to my help, Ballard NIMBY thoughts and prayers don't even do that, what with all the tinfoil in the way.

You could sit around all day making up fake crime stats and pointing out that you miss Old Ballard when there was no litter, but that ain't going to keep your door shut. Maybe even get, I don't know, a fucking safe for all that cheddar and bling.

Thoughts and prayers, my darlings, thoughts and prayers. Don't ever accuse me of not sending my thoughts and prayers.


Tyrants. Holy shit, listen to yourself. Tyrants.
@1 TL;DR
@8 "My thoughts and prayers might not be enough. I recommend anyone with diamonds and gold get a door that you can't just pry open with a big screwdriver."

You look at these 100 year old homes and stores with their original glass and wood frame windows and sometimes you have to think "how did that stuff last so long" when the current crop of junkies are making such fast work of it. Much of that construction, the nice leaded glass lasted through the Great Depression and every period of social turmoil since. We're seeing the end of that era. Our compassion to invite the junkies in to live among us is ushering in a new era of steel doors, bars and security glass along with a new interest in concealed carry.


There were 65,000 property crimes in Seattle in 1988. In 2015 there were 37,700. The population went from 510,000 to 660,000 in that time, meaning the rate went from 127 property crimes per 1,000 people to only 57. Violent crime plummeted even more.

So, see, your whole mental picture is just laughable. You sound like you were born yesterday. If somebody tricked you into thinking a daily crime report from 1988 or 1990 happened yesterday, your head would explode. You have absolutely no idea how it used to be. No idea at all.

And here you sit spinning bullshit fantasies about what you think was going on 100 years ago, or during the Depression or any other point in history. If you know any history at all you learned it from a video game or a comic book.

Fucking ignoramus.
Oh, and concealed carry? Jesus, how could I forget that. Interest in concealed carry. Of course you would.

Fucking Dumb and Dumber has an interest in concealed carry. Inspector fucking Clouseau thinks it's time he armed himself. You need to voluntarily revoke your own right to bear arms. Admit how one hundred percent clueless you are and do everyone a favor. I mean I'm well aware there's no such thing as "too stupid to have a gun", in America. Because the Founding Fathers dreamed of a country where the absolute dumbest motherfucker in the village could whip out his piece and start blasting away whenever his good judgement told him he should. That was the great country the wanted to see come to pass.

At least be like Barney Fife, OK? One bullet for you, and carry it in your other pocket. Nimrod.
@12 You seem really worked up about this. Can you just tell the store owner he got what he deserved and say 'god bless'.

Ah, the old asshole game of spewing ignorant bullshit, and then when anybody tells the asshole how full of shit he is, he observes, 'you seem really worked up'. The key to being an asshole is never being sorry. If you were sorry for saying such ignorant things, you'd merely be a jerk. Jerks don't mean to be jerks, and they wish they weren't, but they can't help it. Assholes, they mean it, and they'll do it again first chance they get.

When informed of what an ignoramus you are, your response is to pretend nothing happened, all and instead let's talk about how everybody else is so worked up, and ask why they are so sensitive? That's your classic asshole, right there. A perfect asshole, in fact.

Here's a prediction: you're going to go somewhere else, and say something else very stupid. Somebody is going to point out just how stupid. You're going to exclaim -- again -- gosh people sure to get worked up easy. Everyone else is going to say, "What an asshole."
And so we bid a fond farewell to the sanity, as it was, of Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
That kind of shit isn't going to win you any thoughts and prayers in your hour of need.

Please wait...

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