Features Jan 31, 2018 at 4:00 am

Celebrate this Valentine's Day by becoming a lesbian.

This year, all we want is for men to gather up their fedoras and their ball sweat and head back to Mars where they came from. Kati Lacker

Comments

1
this article is complete trash.

Idiotic ideas contained in this article:
1. Homosexuality is a choice. If you would like to be homosexual, you can just decide to be.
2. It is "positive" to say a thing along the lines of: has he been bad to you? Have sex with me instead! Here's a thousand words to coax you into it!
3. stereotypes and gender roles are reinforced by lesbianism--- but you'll like it... No matter where you go/with you, you will follow female gender roles somehow, even among other women.
4. Agreement that we shouldn't use the term "lesbian" anymore..now we're "queer" for some reason?

3

"If civilization had been left in female hands, we'd still be living in grass huts" - Camille Paglia

4
Didn't this style of sarcastic humor end in the mid-2000's? No? Well maybe it should already, because instead of coming across as witty, you sound more like a biphobic jerk who is finally desperate enough to try to con "straight" cis women into fucking you. Pro-tip: bi/pan chicks aren't into bigots who assume we are straight and who don't respect us enough to bother asking anyway.

The one thing you achieve is giving other lesbians a bad name, reinforcing the idea that we bi women should stick to dating & marrying other bi women, and that most lesbians are probably transphobic af.
5
Every commentor sends to be taking this hella seriously but I just wanted to say that as a bi-leaning woman who had always only dated men (because it was easier and required no self reflection or friction with society) you just made me want to date a girl.
6
Loved it! I especially like the part that (starts to) explain how porn sex is different from real sex, (no explaination needed, we know!) because it's true, women aren't dumb enough to think they're the same, or even remotely similar.
Most likely, nobody gets physically or verbally abused in lesbian porn either!
But I am definitely hetero. Which means, I gotta weed through that stupid bullshit for a while, I guess.
7
Most excellent giggle! A couple of notes, though: Maybe the Christianists are right - you have to recruit! LOL And no matter how much you banish men, you can't get away from the absolute rock-bottom requirement: The Rules. So many rules... Double LOL!
8
oh so that's how it works ok makes a lot of sense. if it's not a choice make it a choice; give your money to women, and your heart and affection it seems too.
9
COM’ON LADIES! We need to get those pink hat recruitment numbers up! We were 300,000 shy at 2.0 from the year before. TOTALLY....UN...ACK...CEPTABLE, LADIES! Write Those Articles! Scream at the workplace! Embarrass them into submission at Starbucks! Heck! Drag’em out of those shelters and street tents next time if you need to! MEN MUST BE ELIMINATED! WE HAVE A MOVEMENT TO PROMOTE, LADIES AND PINK HATS TO SELL! NOW GET OUT THERE AND REMEMBER “RESPECT AND UNITY” AND SELL! SELL! SELL!
11

If one wants to claim that FF relationships are superiour to FM relationships, well, I've very little to say. There may be an unpleasant consequent of too many bi men vastly increase their MM participation, but such things fall under the normal give and take of ordinary existence.

But claim overall female superiourity, and I may well become highly inclined to make one regret that claim.

12
Judy is right about one thing: Men are an easy target right now. Hitting them while they are already down seems like a low blow. Lazy even. As humans, and not subsets of society, we should aim to come together to strike Patriarchy and any other divisive worldview. Her simplistic approach of sapphic love based on women being better than makes me think that Miss Berry could afford to learn more about respect and the complexity of genuine desire. Coming out late in life or being bisexual isn’t the same as ‘let me give this a try because guys suck’.
Also, if you assume that women will "get it" and be more compassionate and understanding towards one another, your experiences in the world of female relationships are either too limited, too naive, or worse yet, misrepresented. And if you are that lucky or privileged, don’t paint a dot and sell it as the whole picture.
13
I know this piece is not meant to be taken seriously, but "vag tastes way less disgusting than the moldy dicks you've been choking on"? No. Not if you actually like the taste of dicks. Believe me I'd love to be able to be attracted to women. I don't feel safe around men recently. But I can't force it. I'm just straight, and I love men's bodies and I wish I didn't.
14
Barnabas @5: High (or should I say bi) five. This article is clearly intended to be humorous, and I'm clearly the target audience because I found it so. However, if its message is "bi girls, we lesbians would be happy to date you now!" then I hope at least some of them start to put their money where their mouths would like to be! (Elmsyrup, sorry to break it to you, but women DO win the taste test.) Judy, thanks for the smile.
15
Wait a minute... if men have sex with women, and you're telling me to have sex with women, aren't we both supporting the patriarchy? Like when my man tries to force me to vote Republican because he does? Well I'm not going to stand for it! As a woman, I am NOT going to support the dominant male paradigm! I'm going to have sex with... men!
18
lolwut?
19
We’re running out of reasons to keep women around too.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theverg…

Good for the goose...
20
I hope my wife doesn't see this article!
21
First off, cis lesbians for the most part don’t like trans women...Insuspectnits because they actually see trans women as men. What further verifies this is the sheer number of trans men who are fully accepted in the lesbian community after transition. I suspect it’s because the view is trans men are actually women.

A hetero woman is going to no more like eating poontang than a lesbian sucking cock until “she likes it.”

This must be satire because there’s not way the reverse argument of a man making a lesbian straight is any more true when it argues that a lesbian can make a straight woman lesbian.

I get it though. As a transsexual female who is pretty much preop—and will likely be for life—I have come to realize after all these years that the only thing most lesbians are against other than males—and the so-called tyranny of the patriarchy—is cock. Which is cool. There are plenty of trans men to fill that vacuum.

I’m personally attracted to straight women anyways.
22
Forgot to add that I’m curious how gay males feels about the anti-male attitudes and open rhetorical disdain from the lesbians and queer community.

As if there’s something wrong with being a male, with a sex drive, with a oenis, that likes to fuck.

It’s convenient the nature of males is always on the menu to question but the nature of females is somehow our salvation a a race of people. I remember telling my therapist—whonis a gay man—that the movement will invariably come after him because the logical end is such. And I seen that this anti-male nonsense has transssxual females like myself on the chopping block as well.

He though I was crazy until he was fired for an accusation of “misogyny.”

This article may be satirical in presentation, but the underlying message is clear. And ever person who is male or who used to be male should consider the ramifications of allowing this nonsense to go on without standing up and calling it out for what it is: Sexism—via virtue signally. Again, leftists practice religion even worse than right wingers.
23
The worst boss I've ever had was a woman. The most two-faced manipulative power-mad cow I ever met. At least men are transparent about being jerks. As for dating a woman? I'd rather date my cat. In fact, I'm going home to smooch that furry right now.
24
No newly out 20 something girl has ever been confounded by dating women, they're always in total relief in how much easier it is. That's one thing I know for certain!
26
Through their lives, men want sex more than women.
27
This is the shit that makes me glad I'm gay
28
The Ideal Male that a Leftist Feminist society creates is actually not much of a catch for women.

Sure,
he'll change diapers
and keep house
and do the Soccer Mom thing hauling the kids around while you are finding career fulfillment;
he'll even move to a different city to advance your career;
sure,
you'll appreciate what a helpful fellow he is;
but in a year or two you will no longer long to fuck or be fucked by him.

You will wonder what is wrong since you have the perfect egalitarian Leftist Feminist Dream Marriage
but your loins will not lie.

Mommy Daddies do not arouse your passionate womanly lust, or desire, or even passing interest.

There are studies about it, in the NYT magazine no less.

So yeah, pick yourself out a gal fuckbuddy.
Hire a nanny to raise the kids.
You won't really be missing out on anything.
29
The reason this seems off is because it is seen as acceptable to use stereotypes for humor, but there is no discernible humor here, so it just kind of comes off as weirdly old-fashioned.
30
Ms Fan - And here I thought you weren't a bisupremacist.
31
This article is a disgrace we have fought for years defending that our sexuality is not a choice and this article just encourages the idea that it is.
32
31

Sometimes The Truth rips you a new one.
33
Hey ladies, dicks are still cool in Seattle. Don't believe the hype. Some people still take showers, I'm not sure who the author of the article associates with that would be gobbling moldy dicks? Must be tuff times finding a mate.
34
Most people aren't that fond of butch lesbians and based on this article I now believe that's where hatred of men comes from. People like you, Judy. You article is slathered with misandrist commentary which is probably why so many dislike you making you feel that you're some kind of victim perhaps even in need of a pink pussy hat. I can assure you the reason people dislike you is simply if a man wrote an article like this he would be slammed to the ground and labeled a misogynist. Why don't you fire up that u-haul and get the fuck out of town and take your moldy vagina with you.

Steve
35
You forgot to mention the part about women in same sex relationships experiencing 50% higher rates of physical abuse according to The Advocate. Also, the claim that lesbians are highly relationship oriented is an outdated cliche. Studies show that the divorce rates for lesbians are just as high if not higher than those for heterosexual couples-- and many of those lesbians had been waiting years for same-sex marriage to be legalized, so imagine what will happen when they begin taking that right for granted?

Hookup culture is common among millennial lesbians with many viewing straight girls as nothing more than a notch on their belts. Keep in mind some lesbians harbor underlying resentment toward women who are attracted to men-- even bisexual women within their own communities are often treated dismissively, let alone straight oriented women.

Predatory behavior is not uncommon within the gay community either, however, people are not conditioned to view women in a predatory light. During less politically correct times, it was actually commonplace for lesbians to joke about how getting a straight girl in bed was simply a matter of getting them drunk. And when the singer Melanie Martinez was accused of sexual assault by two female friends, her gay and bi fans rushed to her defense and insisted her actions could not be classified as assault because physical violence was not involved. Some also take advantage of the fact that women generally lower their guards around one another. For instance, an article was featured on The Guardian in which the writer offered detailed advice to her lesbian readers on how to manipulate a straight friend so that she can be exploited for sex during a moment of vulnerability. Like this article, it's more about feeding their own egos, objectifying straight women, and grinding an ax against men. In other words, a lesbian f#ckboy mentality. If they were interested in lasting and truly fulfilling relationships, they'd-- I dunno-- focus their attention on pursuing actual queer women.
36
People need to get over this notion that lesbian relationships are longer lasting and more fulfilling. Gay marriage has ben legal in the Netherlands since 2001 and researchers found that over a 10 year span between 2005-2010, lesbian couples had a divorce rate that was 40% higher than those of straight and gay male couples. Other studies have consistently found that female same sex couples have significantly higher divorce rates than same sex male couples. I do believe that when men are younger, they can be more impulsive especially if they allow their hormones to dictate their actions, but based on my observation, men tend to mellow out by their mid to late 20s while women remain higher strung and accumulate emotional baggage.

By the way, I wonder how people would react if someone did a similar article with an opposing view:

"Why date someone prone to wild mood swings and menstrual bleeding every month when you can date someone more emotionally stable with a shower ready penis (no toys required)?"

"Why be with someone with an "every woman for herself" attitude who views chivalry as part of the patriarchy when you can be with someone who's in many ways more instinctively protective of you and enjoys "being your man" and will the lead in situations that make you uncomfortable?"

"Why date someone more likely to scrutinize your missteps and passively aggressively hold it against you until they erupt in an emotional outburst, seemingly out of nowhere, when you can date someone who's more transparent and less emotionally manipulative?"

"Why go through the complicated process of in vitro fertilization in order to have a child with someone more likely to file for divorce and gain custody of the child as you're left paying for support, when you can have biological children with someone more likely to be in it for the long haul, who you'd enjoy preferential treatment over during divorce proceedings if things were to not work out?" etc
37
Lol, vaginas taste disgusting. The PH level for a vagina is acidic, while a dick has a alkaline ph level(alkaline is basically sweet). So, this article is pretty much a whole lie wrote by some sad lesbian loser. Lol, I'm a straight woman and I've experimented, vaginas are disgusting compared to cock.

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