There are more than 100 mushy Valentine’s Day celebrations in Seattle this year, but even if you’ve been recently dumped, are just sleeping around, refer to your cat as your “life partner,” or are in a happy relationship but have a lot of feelings about consumerism, there are events for you in (dis)honor of the February 14 occasion. From emo music to horror movies to stories about breakups, here are 14 anti-Valentine’s Day events in Seattle.
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FEBRUARY 10
1. Aftershock: AntiValentine featuring Superjack
A lineup of DJs will supply your pre-/anti-Valentine’s rave: Xaut & Remix, (Weemix, for Mac) & The F’N Wizard, Breed, Vault, Superjack, Jimni Cricket, and SakeBomb will take turns spinning.
(Greenwood, $15)
2. Hard Rock’s Anti-Valentine Happy Hour
“No mushy stuff” will be around to offend your senses at this singles’ awareness party with chocolate martinis and other specials, free appetizers, and live acoustic music from Cassie Correlle.
(Downtown, no cover)
FEBRUARY 11
3. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Storytelling Book Tour: Seattle
As anybody who reads Savage Love can attest, love isn’t about feeding each other desserts and exchanging saccharine cards—it’s also about petty ghosting break-ups, one-sided obsessions, and occasional raging misery. So why not incorporate some of that on V-Day weekend? Hillary Fitzgerald Campbell will hear your stories and live-draw a cartoon, in celebration of her new book, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, But You Could’ve Done Better!
(Ballard, free)
4. Happy Heartbreak, Bobby’s Oar plus Choke the Pope & Fond Farewell
Join five-piece emo/indie band Happy Heartbreak for bittersweet anti-Valentines.
(Ballard, $8)
5. Relationship Status
Scratch Deli comes right out with it: “Hearts are just butts people poop their feelings out of.” This “new kind of dating game” featuring Brent and Travis will feature standup comedy, focus groups, prizes, drinks, and hijacked Tinders. Couples get in for $10 and singles enjoy free admission so TAKE THAT, foul intercoursers.
(Capitol Hill, Free/$10)
FEBRUARY 13
6. Through Being Cool: A Night of Emo/Pop-Punk/Indie
Yeah, being cool is so over and angst is in. Good news, though: happy hour specials and the emo music that soothed your miserable teenagerhood will last all night. Snag some stickers, buttons, and other freebies as a souvenir of this sad, sad time.
(Capitol Hill, free)
FEBRUARY 14
7. Anti-Valentine’s Day
If seeing face-smooshing couples all day long is going to make you sick, or you’re just oozing bitterness over the political situation, head to atmospheric Bar Sue for a night full of Fernet Branca, Borghetti Mind Erasers, and metal on the sound system. They’ll provide angry black hearts on which to write your anti-Valentines and project horror movies on the big screen. You know where to put it, “Valentine.”
(Capitol Hill, free)
8. Drink & Draw: Love Sucks, Pabst Doesn’t
If 2017 has weighed heavily on your artistic soul, you aren’t alone. Join other lonelyhearts at Revolver for some drinking/drawing glum fun: collaborate on a communal zine (or do your own thing if you prefer). They provide all the supplies. They reassure: “All skill levels and weirdness levels welcome.”
(Capitol Hill, free)
9. Emo Night LA: Emo Nite
Bring back the early-mid 2000s with your deep passion for gauged ears, flat-ironed hair, and Pete Wentz’s smirk. Emo Nite, presented by Emo Night LA, is the new sensation of reliving your MySpace glory in the form of a high energy, passionately emo DJ night, this time around on Valentine’s Day.
(Capitol Hill, $10)
10. In The Drink: “Love On The Rocks”
Hosted by the incomparable Ade, In The Drink: Love on The Rocks will explore songs of “love, loss, and drowning your sorrows,” with three varied performance sets throughout the evening by Gams Galore, Freckles Riverside, and Ms. Pac Man.
(Downtown, free)
11. Love and Heartbreak Slam
Contestants will throw down poems on love and misery in three minimalist rounds—no props or music allowed, just words. The winner takes home 20 bucks. The other star of the evening will be Taylor Bereiter, a queer/trans activist poet from Pullman. 21+ only.
(Downtown, $5)
12. Shannon And The Clams: Valentine’s Lonely Romance Dance
Ease into the realization that you’ll be alone and unfulfilled forever with this DJ party by Shannon and her Clams, who’ll be on the decks all night wooing you with ’60s and ’70s oldies and weirdies, soul, and R&B.
(Eastlake, $8)
13. UnValentine’s Day
Whether or not you’ve got a date, step into Makeda & Mingus’s indie-homey environs for chocolate, coffee, food, and beer, plus tunes by DJ elletee.
(Greenwood, free)
14. Valentine’s Eve for Your Ice-Cold Heart
Don “‘snowbunny” garb and play in the Octopus’s fake snowy wonderland, featuring real Jagermeister snow cones. Bring someone special or someone slatternly: The Octopus does not care which.
(Wallingford, free)
Get all this and more on the free Stranger Things To Do mobile app—available now on the App Store and Google Play.
