The Stranger

For several weekends each winter, the Granite Curling Club invites the public to come and try out the only Olympic sport you can play while also drinking copious amounts of beer. And there are only two open houses left this season! For $15, you'll learn the basics of the game and play a match against other newbies. There's usually a crowd, but did I mention they have a bar and supply snacks? You can grab a drink, eat cookies, and watch people fall down on the ice while waiting for your turn. (Granite Curling Club, 1440 N 128th St, 362-2446. 9 am–noon, $15.) by Megan Seling

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Everything is great at Everything Is Terrible! The video blog—spiritual brother to the also-great TV Carnage and Found Footage Festival—gleefully digs up industrial training videos, weirdo VHS artifacts, creepy Jesus shit, and whatever other bizarre video nuggets are clinging to Father Time's beard. Remember cat massage? Remember that promotional rap about taking it up the Carrot Highway? Remember that fucking crypt-keeper dude teaching children yoga on a farm and touching them on their yoga parts? Everything Is Terrible! found those for you. Go say thank you and watch them on the big screen. Go tonight. (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, 686-6684. 7 pm, $6, all ages.) by Lindy West

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The seats at Thornton Place cinemas are extremely comfortable—with your choice of 14 movies, a postprandial stupor in the dark there is a deeply enjoyable thing. For your stomach's consideration, two good, fast, and cheap options are within waddling distance: sparkling new conveyor-belt Tengu Sushi, where you can stuff yourself on $1 to $4 plates in 20 minutes flat; and Five Guys Burgers and Fries, a vaunted franchise out of Virginia where grilled onions and mushrooms are always free. Life is sweet. (Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St, see Movie Times: thestranger .com/film; Tengu Sushi, 311 NE 103rd St, 525-9999; Five Guys Burgers and Fries, 311 NE 103rd St, 729-5028.) by Bethany Jean Clement

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One of life's greatest pleasures is the French dip, a hot meat sandwich that you dunk into a flavorful, salty broth. Unfortunately, it's hard to come by without involving the flesh of living creatures. Thank God for Georgetown Liquor Company. Everything on its all-vegetarian menu is delicious, especially the Picard, a menagerie of lentil-sage Field Roast, roasted onions, and fresh mozzarella that you can dip into a glorious pool of au jus until the soggy bread falls from your hands. (Georgetown Liquor Company, 5501B Airport Way S, 763-6764. 11 am–10 pm.) by Megan Seling

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Stick around for the Strange Boys' fine, weirdly sunshiney garage-psych nuggets and Lovvers' bashed-out three-chord fuzz, but know that the real highlight here is Chain and the Gang, the latest mod-funk agitprop soapbox of Nation of Ulysses/Make-Up mastermind Ian Svenonius. Chain and the Gang set Svenonius's conspiratorial rants, leftist lessons, and oddly compelling vocal yelps against a loose-swinging rhythm and blues that's not so much retro as stone-cold classic. It's Marxist/Situationist lectures delivered as soul-man gospel, and it makes for one groovy, edifying time. With Night Beats. (Comet, 922 E Pike St, 322-9272. 9 pm, $10, 21+.) by Eric Grandy

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