DEC 8, 2012


Sexy Crazy Christmas at the Grand Illusion

Why: The Grand Illusion presents a night jam-packed with campy holiday delights. At 7 p.m., San Francisco’s Oddball Film + Video presents Christmas Mess, a 90-minute montage of films capturing the shamelessly commercialized nightmare of Jesus’s birthday. At 9 p.m., Scarecrow Video presents VHSXMAS II, a collection of rare Christmas footage—commercials, cartoons, montages, musical numbers—all drawn from Scarecrow’s VHS archives. At 11 p.m., Oddball returns with The Subject Is Sex, a 16 mm tour of cartoon smut, hygiene films, hillbilly porn, and “burlesque bits.” (Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St,, 7 pm, $8 per film)

DEC 9, 2012


Get Married!

Why: Today brings the first day of legal same-sex marriage in Washington State. To celebrate, The Stranger has teamed with Mayor McGinn and the City of Seattle to turn City Hall’s gorgeous lobby into a full-service wedding site, complete with marriage-pronouncing judges (offering their services free of charge), beautiful pop-up “wedding chapels,” and more good vibes than you can imagine. Afterward, there's a humongous reception party at Q nightclub hosted by The Stranger’s Dan Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, and featuring a tearjerker first dance, goofy cake-cutting photos, and champagne toasts galore, along with the peerless DJ skills of Riz Rollins. Bring Kleenex. (Seattle City Hall, 600 Fourth Ave, 11 am–5 pm; Q, 1426 Broadway,, 6–10 pm, free, 21+)

DEC 10, 2012



Why: If the world were fair, Nouela Johnston’s name would be thrown around like Tori’s and Fiona’s. The local singer/pianist has the kind of voice that makes you burn with jealousy—it’s gorgeous and strong, with a bit of a haunted quality to it. And because she makes it look so easy, you will try to sing along, but you will fail to sound as good. Thankfully, her lyrics about not putting up with anyone’s bullshit will still empower you. Nouela’s music will make you feel like a classy badass. With Social Studies and Detective Agency. (Chop Suey, 1325 E Madison St,, 8 pm, $8, 21+)

DEC 11, 2012


Ty Segall

Why: Ty Segall is a prolific wizard with can’t stop/won’t stop determination (restlessness? ADD?), mixing influence globs into his giant chaos cauldron, producing album after album of weird and awesome. Do you like the Stooges? Jay Reatard? T. Rex? Music? Then you might like this show. And by “might,” I mean “WILL.” Blazing with pleasant dissonance and aggressive melodies, Segall’s blend of glammed-up garage fuzz is perfect for pre-holiday raging like the month is December and the year is 2012! (Neumos, 925 E Pike St,, 8 pm, $12, 21+)

DEC 12, 2012


Anthony Sonnenberg

Why: It’s the second anniversary and the 34th exhibition at Vignettes, Sierra Stinson’s gallery-in-her-studio-apartment, and the occasion is marked with an exhibition of still lifes by Anthony Sonnenberg. He finished art school at UW this year, but his greatest influence is the tiny Texas town where he grew up. His still lifes—involving materials such as electroplated cicada moltings, amethyst, flame-worked glass, and mirrors—are intentionally both attracting and repulsive. (Vignettes,, 7–10 pm, free)

DEC 13, 2012


Coal Train Hearing

Why: Two thousand residents in Bellingham, another thousand in Mount Vernon—across the state, people are turning out in unexpectedly large, angry herds to protest plans to build the nation’s largest coal export terminal outside of Bellingham. If the terminal is approved, up to 18 mile-long coal trains a day carrying an estimated 48 million tons of coal would start snaking their way through our waterfront on the way to the northern port. Now it’s your turn to testify on the biggest political showdown in Washington State. (Washington State Convention Center, 800 Convention Pl, Ballroom 6F, 4–7 pm, free)


Everything Is Terrible!

Why: Everything Is Terrible! is a group of wisecrackers from Chicago that collects and compiles footage from old VHS tapes found at garage sales and thrift stores. You might know them from the YouTube clip “So Your Cat Wants a Massage.” You should know that they do touring shows—this one centered on the most terrible-est holiday of the entire year: Christmas. Expect uncomfortable, hilarious, pee-your-pants-worthy clips full of misplaced nostalgia for winter holidays and surrounded by puppets, fistfights, and fake snow—all hosted by Santa himself (no, really, the REAL one). (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave,, 7 and 9:30 pm, $10 adv/$12 DOS, all ages)

DEC 14, 2012



Why: Optimo—the Scottish DJ/production duo of Keith McIvor and Jonnie Wilkes—have earned a sterling reputation as two of the world’s most discerning disco selectors. Their marathon sets are famous for their unpredictability, adventurousness, diversity, and psychedelic depth. Basically, Optimo play by their own idiosyncratic rules (e.g., early-’80s synth pop into mid-’90s minimal techno within a few tracks). Prepare yourself for six hours of incredible eclectic grooviness at this edition of the Trouble monthly. (Q, 1426 Broadway,, 9 pm–3 am, free before 10 pm/$10 after, 21+)

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