I'm typing this right now thanks to the tech-wizardry of The Stranger's IT staff, which has our offices connected to the Internet on a backup DSL connection. The rest of you sucka Comcast customers, reportedly across Capitol Hill and other parts of Seattle, are screwed. Comcast says it's working to repair a fiber-optic cable in Madison Park and doesn't know when its service will back up and running. (This comes on the heels of CenturyLink, Comcast's major rival in town, apologizing just last week for misleading a customer.) Call it the #Comcastageddon. A sampling:

Dear Comcast, From hell's heart, I stab at thee.
— John Haralson (@JohnHaralson1) April 9, 2015

@jseattle Comcast told us out until 5pm. Dude. Seriously? We're trying to run a business and are sending 34 ppl home.
— Brian Rauschenbach (@rauschenbach) April 9, 2015

My god. #comcast #outage has me agreeing with a socialist.... https://t.co/PbmthAhUjz
— Mark Firmani (@firmani) April 9, 2015

Comcast outage in Seattle. City basically shutting down.
— Cody (@JoMasta) April 9, 2015

I hear all of Capitol Hill is Internet-disabled. Be offline and art walk today instead. Cairo and Joe Bar, Calypte and Hedreen.
— Jen Graves (@JenGraves) April 9, 2015

Too bad there isn't another option, like, a non-corporate-overlord Internet provider that we could do more than bitch about! Except there could be. Upgrade Seattle, a group advocating for a city-run gigabit Internet network, sent me this statement: "Our condolences on the death of your Internet. This is why we need a strong, accountable municipal Internet service throughout Seattle." Over to you, Mayor Ed Murray.