It was just this past Friday that I first heard the name—Allen Stone. He was playing the Paramount, capping a weeklong Seattle club residency, and it looked like all social media on teh internet was in an uproar over him and his music. As I'd never heard him, and you guys were SO FUCKING MAD, I took a punt and listened to him. Oh, okay, I get it. Evidently, he's some local kid trying to style himself as some kind of a soul singer, and, having now heard him, I'd say his soullessness is a fair trigger; he's supposed to be some kinda "soul man," yet there was ZERO Wilson Pickett mired in his toothy, vibro-acrobatic cliché rehash of the '70s singer-songwriter thing. Man, them vibro-acrobatics have become the most annoying, contemporary shtick. Anyway, I'd rate Stone as a good example of how ass-backward contemporary pop culture's current understanding of all things from the past has now become—nothing has real meaning, it's just a thing to say "cool" words now. As for his actual music, he's so far removed from anything I'd consider interesting, I can't get MAD, so I'll just pass. Okay, so I now know why I find this Stone kid lame, but the internet VITRIOL he conjures is impressive—Slog Out, you're on teh internet, so why do YOU hate li'l Allen Stone?