Go Lancers!

Go Lancers! Shutterstock

Livingston High School student body president Chris Christie (class of 1980) plans to announce his run for the White House next Tuesday, according to Matt Katz of “The Christie Tracker” at WNYC. By all accounts, Christie ran an impressive campaign for student body president, offering comprehensive solutions to major problems that vexed the northern New Jersey high school. Policy initiatives of the Christie administration included a drastic reduction of powers afforded to hall monitors, the expansion of Taco Tuesday to three days a week, and a get-tough stance on the Livingston High Lancers’ fight song. Christie deemed the song “soft on fight” and demanded it be replaced by Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run,” which it was for two weeks, until Springsteen’s management office sent a cease and desist order to the principal.

It is widely believed that Christie’s campaign for the Oval Office will mirror the scope and ambition of his student government career.

Go Lancers.

Rich Smith is The Stranger's former News Editor. He writes about politics, books, and performance. You can read his poems at www.richsmithpoetry.com