Like other good and thirsty journalists in town, we'll be heading out after work tonight to practice the delicate art of drinking enough to dull the pain of covering a primary election but not drinking so much that we can't actually cover the primary election.

You, on the other hand, can disregard the second part of that equation, and the best place to do that is somewhere where you can watch a city council candidate laugh-cry while giving a speech. (But only after you've voted!)

Our incumbents—except Kshama Sawant and Mike O'Brien, surprise—have really let us down on this one.

Tim Burgess (citywide Position 8) probably has something planned, but whatever it is it's not public. Bruce Harrell (District 2) isn't having a party. Neither is sure-to-win Sally Bagshaw (District 7), who says she'll "make the rounds" starting with the Sandy Brown party in District 5. Jean Godden (District 4) is spending the evening at Night Out Against Crime events.

Here are the candidates who are doing their democratic duty and giving the people a place to get fucked up:

For the big, exciting citywide seats we all get to vote for!

John Roderick, Position 8: The Canterbury, 7 p.m. (He's promising "little to no policy talk, and zero fundraising!")

Jon Grant, Position 8: Bar Sue, 6 p.m. (This party is both Grant and District 3 candidate Morgan Beach)

Lorena González, Position 9: Talarico's, 7:30 p.m.

Bill Bradburd, Position 9: Columbia City Theater, 6:30 p.m.

Alon Bassok, Position 9: Skylark, 6:30 p.m.

District 1 (West Seattle)

Lisa Herbold: Feedback Lounge, 7 p.m.

Shannon Braddock: The Mission, 7 p.m.

Brianna Thomas: Loretta's, 7 p.m.

Phillip Tavel: The Bridge, 7:30 p.m.

District 2 (Southeast)

Josh Farris: Union Bar, 6:30 p.m.

Like Harrell, Tammy Morales doesn't appear to be having a public party. : (

District 3 (Capitol Hill, Central District, The Race With the Socialist™)

Kshama Sawant: Melrose Market Studios, 6 p.m.

Pamela Banks: 95 Slide, 7 p.m. (Seattlish pointed out that this was a Mike McGinn favorite. McGinn supports Sawant. Fun twist!)

Morgan Beach: Bar Sue, 6 p.m. (co-hosted with Jon Grant)

Rod Hearne: Poco, 7 p.m.

District 4 (Northeast)

Michael Maddux: Pazzo's, 7 p.m.

Rob Johnson: Pub at Third Place, 7 p.m.

Tony Provine: Harrissa, 7:30 p.m.

Abel Pacheco: Kate's, 7:30 p.m.

District 5 (North)

Sandy Brown: Watershed, 7 p.m.

District 6 (Northwest)

Mike O'Brien: At, uh, his house, at 6 p.m. He might not want every Slog reader showing up at his house, but, then again, it's on Facebook.

Then there are a couple other candidates who are doing stuff that is just much more important than having a party. Stan Shaufler, a no-chance candidate running against O'Brien told me he'll be "out on my sailboat enjoying the moon."

Julie Wise, the SECB's pick for director of elections, told us she will instead "be hard at work at the Elections Office making sure this primary goes off without a hitch."

Thanks, Julie!