Stop Writing Horrible Obituary Headlines

Now, Keith Richards should be nervous. RT: Abe Vigoda, Sunken-Eyed Character Actor, Dead at 94 – ABC News – https://t.co/fHafp2e0mJ via @ABC
— Sam Cohen (@cohenss) January 26, 2016

Moments ago I read news that Abe Vigoda died. The headline over at ABC reads: Abe Vigoda, Sunken-Eyed Character Actor, Dead at 94.

It’s true that he had sunken eyes, but it’s also true that the shape of his eyes weren’t the total expression of his being. He was a hilarious character actor who worked in the theater for several years before finally making it big with the Godfather. He acted well into his 80s and lived to be almost a million years old.

When writing obit headlines, let’s at least give people the dignity of being known for the work they did, and not the face they had while they were doing it. Imagine what it’d be like to do the same thing with anyone else:

Barbara Streisand, Large-Nosed Singer, Kicks Bucket at 103

Leonardo DiCaprio, Squinty-Eyed Love Interest, Checks Out at 89

George Clooney, Handsome to Some, Dies at 98

Try to be more careful, obit writers. There’s a whole, complex life inside that skin suit we all have to wear.