SLOG

JOE NEWTON

I am a 30-year-old straight man and I've been with a 28-year-old bisexual woman for a year. Early in our relationship, after much discussion, we established that it would be open. I would have the liberty to see other women and so would she. We just had to be safe and always keep each other informed. The key was that she agreed to see only other women. I was uncomfortable with the idea of her being with another man, and she went along with it. Fast-forward a few months, and she told me that she had drunkenly kissed a male coworker…

Originally posted on January 22, 2014.

I'm 45, female, and married to a smart, funny, intelligent 50-year-old man. We've been together nine years, married seven. The sex was good for the first year and then dropped off to nothing. He says, "I've had plenty of sex in my life. I'm just not interested anymore." During my first marriage, the sex was so bad that I thought, "If I could find a man who loved to cuddle, I could go the rest of my life without sex." Perfectly describes husband number two! Except now I feel more sexual than I ever have! I've discussed this with my husband endlessly and have mentioned open marriage, but nothing ever comes of it. I'm not an instigator, although I have tried a few times and have been rejected. Yes, he has had his testosterone checked. It's normal. Not even going to a therapist helped. What do I do? He's a great guy, he loves me and my grown kids unconditionally, but we are more friends/roommates than husband and wife. We have a safe, comfortable life, but I'm too young to go without that for the rest of my life!

Careful What You Wish For

My response after the jump...

Originally posted on January 22, 2014.

Five years ago, my wife and I decided to pursue her MFM threesome fantasy. Part of her fantasy was that the other chap have a BBC (big black cock), so we advertised and met this great guy who we've seen three times a year ever since. He is nice and open-minded, and we've become so comfortable with our BBC that we meet at our home now instead of a hotel. So there are respectful and safe people out there to be found! The issue I'm writing about is a problem with me. After our BBC ejaculates in my wife—everyone is tested and free of STIs—I enjoy going down on her, he enjoys watching me go down on her, and she enjoys having me lick the interloper's come from her pussy. That isn't the problem. The problem arises when our BBC isn't in the picture. We enjoy talking about our dirty threesomes, and we both talk about how hot it will be when I go down on her after I've unloaded in her myself. Unfortunately, once I've made my deposit, I have zero desire to go down on her. It's like someone flips a switch in my brain and something I couldn't wait to do is suddenly repulsive to me. This problem doesn't arise in our threesomes because our BBC always comes before I do. What is my issue? Is there a fix?

Can't Really Eat All My Pecker's Icky Emissions

My response after the jump...

Originally posted on December 24, 2014.

I am a college student just trying to get through my senior year with some halfway decent grades and a smidge of sanity. As such, I have basically given up the social scene. I avoid sexual or romantic interactions. The problem is, while I recognize that I will have plenty of time for social stuff once I graduate (and some far better prospects available with a degree to my name), the rest of me is having trouble getting with the program. My weekends are a lot quieter and my wallet is more comfortable, but sometimes I can't help feeling lonely. Is there anything in your bag of tricks for this self-imposed hermit?

Losing Out Nearly Everyday

My response after the jump...

JOE NEWTON

After spending some years in the doldrums after having kids, my husband and I are now enjoying hot kinky sex and the occasional free pass to fuck other people. We couldn't be happier. I have a friend who was extremely keen for me to cage his cock with the same kind of locking male chastity device I got for my husband—a fixed-ring stainless-steel type…

Originally posted on December 24, 2014.

My last relationship—abusive—ended 13 years ago. I've been single for the last 10. I enjoy my life! And I get to wake up in the morning happy, not afraid! However, I would like to share my life with someone. I have not been asked on a date in years—sad—but I go out to movies, dinner, etc., on my own. Do I have a list? Yes! My love should be happy, be self-actualized, be capable of communicating without violence, and have a sense of humor. I am physically fit, and although I'm not a beauty, I'm pretty enough! I snowboard and ride horses—I have lots of energy for 52.5! But is this it? Am I to be alone now?

Lonely And Seeking Someone

My response after the jump...

...looks sorta like veal-unfattening pens.

Originally posted on December 24, 2014.

I'm a short guy and I need advice. I don't want a small paragraph's worth of advice, like you gave "Below Their League" a few years ago. I need advice beyond "Women like men taller than them, get over it!" I get it. I'm short (five foot two), and most women are taller than me. And women like tall dudes just like I like slender women. Fat women may have it hard, but at least they have their fans and their own sex-object abbreviation: BBW. But where can a short guy go to feel appreciated? Is there an abbreviation or a dating website for us?

Jesus Christ, I'm Lonely

My response after the jump...

USNews:

South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham ended his long shot White House bid Monday – a move aimed at avoiding embarrassment in his home state’s February primary. Graham, a fierce national security hawk, failed to gain traction in the crowded 2016 race for the Republican nomination. He was saddled by the perception he was too moderate on domestic policy and too cozy with mainstream Republican figures, like his close friend Sen. John McCain of Arizona. He also faced a looming deadline to avoid a crushing defeat in the state he’s represented in Congress for two decades. Monday was the last day South Carolina allowed candidates to remove their names from the Feb. 20 ballot.

If Jeb! Bush, currently stuck at 3%, scoops up Graham's supporters... Jeb! will still be stuck at 3% because Graham was polling at 0%. Vox would have believe that Graham's withdrawal represents "a surprisingly big opportunity for the GOP establishment," as it frees up John McCain's cherished endorsement. (John and Lindsey are besties.) But the GOP base hates McCain. So unless McCain plans to endorse the non-establishment guy he most wants to see lose—that would be Ted Cruz—I don't see how his newly freed-up endorsement is going to rescue the GOP establishment from the monster it created.

Paul Krugman writes about that monster today...

All the ironic stoned kids will be wearing Stoner Sloth gear now...

The Stoner Sloth campaign premiered this weekend in Australia, where it was greeted with howls of laughter, quickly disavowed by anti-drug orgs "credited" with its development, and immediately went viral all over the world. The Guardian:

A leading drug research centre has distanced itself from the NSW government’s bizarre “stoner sloth” campaign, which attempts to warn teenagers against the dangers of sustained marijuana use by depicting them as disturbingly oversized versions of the South American mammal.... The campaign was initially linked to the National Cannabis Prevention and Information Centre (NCPI), which has responded with a statement saying their involvement was limited to providing an initial basic analysis of other anti-cannabis campaigns, and some general recommendations. “In this case, those general recommendations were things like being aware that teenagers are intelligent and have access to a lot of information, so campaign approaches should respect them and give them credit by avoiding hyperbole,” the statement said. They said they were not involved in the campaign development and learned of the stoner sloth idea when the ads were released this week.

My favorite part:

In an embarrassing oversight, the stoner sloth campaign shares a name with an online cannabis store. Leave the Australian domain off stonersloth.com.au and you will be directed to a website with the tagline, “enjoy every smoking experience.”

@fakedansavage you know who does bonehead things like not checking your website against others?? Stoners.

— Brian (@NOSaturn) December 20, 2015

New slogan: VOTE FOR DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES, BE ENDLESSLY FASCINATED BY REPUBLICAN ONES
— DC Pierson (@DCpierson) December 19, 2015

So... there's a Democratic debate in about an hour. Not that anyone cares. Like DC Pierson says: we're fascinated by the GOP debates/trainwreck/shitshow, but pretty much everyone around here—save our resident trolls—is gonna wind up voting for whoever the Democrats nominate. The Democrats could nominate a Debbie Wasserman Schultz fart and we'd vote for it over Trump, Cruz, Rubio, Bush, Christie, Bush, et al.

Some people think this not caring is be design: The DNC intentionally scheduled a Democratic for the Saturday before Christmas—a night when no one is watching TV—because not watching the debate helps Hillary, hurts Bernie, and has no measurable impact whatsoever on Marty. And that may be true! Who knows! All I know is the Democratic Debate No One Was Supposed to Watch starts in an hour but a thing happened yesterday—someone's data got beached?—and the Clinton campaign is furious at the Sanders campaign and the Sanders campaign is furious at (and suing!) the DNC and Rachel Maddow is telling me that people are going to watch tonight's debate after all because there could be fireworks about the beaching of all that data. (Washington Monthly has a big explainer up about what the hell happened, for those of you who would like to get up to speed about the data breach—breach, not beach! I've learned so much already!—and you might want to read it before the Democratic Debate No One Was Supposed to Watch gets underway.)

Because you'll be watching the debate! Because "Data Breach Jolts Democratic Debate," says CNN! Because I'll be live-slogging it! Solo! Because everyone else is busy or out of town! Right here! On Slog! Join me!

4:54 PM: I begin my love-Slog duties by Googling "Seattle ABC affiliate." The debate show is on KOMO 4 here in Seattle, and it's live-streaming at www.abcnews.com.

5:00 PM: Current poll standings, care of RealClearPolitics...

"The last best chance for Bernie Sanders and Martin O'Malley to shake up the race," says George S. Hillary was in the lead eight years ago at this stage of the race, says one of ABCNews' talking heads. Also, Bernie leads the polls in New Hampshire, and draws big crowds. SO ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN, PEOPLE. ANYTHING.

5:10 PM: I'm old enough to remember when presidential debates didn't look like game shows on space ships.

I'm really old. Also: blah blah blah. When does the debate start? Are they debating for two hours once the candidates beam down to the set? Or has the clock already started ticking? In other words: How long do I have to be here?

5:20 PM: Ten more minutes of this blather? Oy. Here's some ass to tide you over until the debate starts...

JOE NEWTON

I'm a straight 26-year-old man who wants advice on helping my fiancée realize a particular fantasy. We have been dating for three years and are in a happy monogamous relationship. I was always vanilla, but she enjoys rougher sex and light bondage. We've incorporated some of this into our sex lives, and we are both happy with how fun it is. She has expressed interest in a rape fantasy. Both of us want to be safe when we do this, and we trust each other completely. But I cannot think of a way in which she can get the experience she desires while still maintaining a safe dynamic…

My husband is bisexual.

When we first began our relationship he told me he hadn't expected to fall for a woman because sexually he preferred men. He broached the subject of having an open relationship but I wasn't cool with it so he dropped it. Fifteen monogamous years later we're married with two kids, three dogs, and a mortgage. I thought we were happy but something seems to have snapped in him this summer. In just the last few months he has cheated on me three separate times with three different men. Then, he gave me your speech. You know, the one where you advise people who are trying to stay in relationship that's missing something in the bedroom. He said he wants to stay with me, but he feels like he's denying a part of himself and he's afraid he'll end up resenting me. I can understand that. I'm even willing to give it a try—theoretically. But putting that idea into action broke my heart, and it was I who began to resent him. I want to keep our marriage, but I also want monogamy. Is there any way I can learn to accept this as our new normal?

Scared And Depressed

This reader...

You need to do something along the lines of what you did with Santorum to wreak havoc on Marco Rubio. I don't think #IdFuckMarco is quite catchy enough but make this a priority. He's by far the scariest because he seems reasonable.

...is reacting to the comments Marco Rubio made yesterday on Meet the Press:

Asked Todd: “Are you going to work to overturn the same sex marriage?”

Said Rubio: “I disagree with it on constitutional grounds. As I have said–I think it’s bad law. And for the following reason. If you want to change the definition of marriage, then you need to go to state legislatures and get them to change it. Because states have always defined marriage. And that’s why some people get married in Las Vegas by an Elvis impersonator. And in Florida, you have to wait a couple days when you get your permit. Every state has different marriage laws. But I do not believe that the court system was the right way to do it.”

When asked if he’d pursue a constitutional amendment, Rubio adds:

“As I’ve said, that would be conceding that the current Constitution is somehow wrong and needs to be fixed. I don’t think the current Constitution gives the federal government the power to regulate marriage. That belongs at the state and local level. And that’s why if you want to change the definition of marriage, which is what this argument is about….It’s not about discrimination. It is about the definition of a very specific, traditional, and age-old institution. That definitional change, if you want to change it, you have a right to petition your state legislature and your elected representatives to do it. What is wrong is that the Supreme Court has found this hidden constitutional right that 200 years of jurisprudence had not discovered and basically overturn the will of voters in Florida where over 60 percent passed a constitutional amendment that defined marriage in the state constitution as the union of one man and one woman.”

Rubio adds that he doesn’t believe it’s settled law:

“It is the current law. I don’t believe any case law is settled law. Any future Supreme Court can change it. And ultimately, I will appoint Supreme Court justices that will interpret the Constitution as originally constructed.”

I'm old enough to remember when pundits left, right, and center were telling us how GOP candidates would welcome the Supreme Court's decision in Obergefell—they would welcome it in secret—because opposing marriage equality was a losing issue. Polls showed a growing Americans now supported same-sex marriage, opposing marriage equality alienated independent voters, majorities of young Republicans and young evangelicals supported same-sex marriage, etc. But all the assholes running for the GOP nomination are pledging to roll back marriage rights for same-sex couples—even the candidate who says he's about the youth and the future. Says Paul Waldman at WaPo: