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The Stranger's 2009 Sex Survey Results

Sexy Charts! Hot Graphs! Erect Polls! A Snapshot of Everybody's Dirty Secrets!

The Stranger's 2009 Sex Survey Results

The Stranger received 6,942 completed sex surveys—more than five times the sample size of the presidential polls in the New York Times. Which means our poll is more than five times more accurate than theirs. (Eat it, New York Times!) And now, a snapshot of everybody's dirty secrets—just click to ENLARGE.

I. Where Are You?
II. Respondents by Gender and Sexual Orientation
III. How Many Married People Are Cheating? And How Many Single People Are Happy About Being Single?


IV. Which Members of the Obama Administration Would You Invite to Your Obama Administration Orgy?
V. Straight Guys Sleeping with Guys, Straight Girls Sleeping with Girls, and Homos Sleeping with the Opposite Sex: Why'd You Do It?, and: VI. Are 25-Year-Olds Getting as Much Sex as They Would Like?
VII. How Many People Confessed to Being Into the Kinky Thing You're Into?, and: VIII. Most Popular Restaurants to Take a Date Before Taking Off Their Clothes
IX. Which Seattle Musician Would You Most Like to Bang?
X. How Many Other People Have Done What You've Done?
XI. Before You Die, What's the One Thing You Want to Accomplish Sexually?

The most popular answers: variations on "threesome" (880 responses), orgy/gangbang/large group (461), and variations on "finally having anal sex" (310). Here are some of the more original write-ins:

• Fuck a unicorn.

• Five-way with Scarlett Johansson, Britney Spears, Megan Fox, and Beyoncé while Chris Crocker sits in the corner crying.

• Bag an amputee.

• Be with a lactating super buxom black woman.

• Cum in my straight business partner's mouth.

• Have gay sex, stoned, naked, with an eco-terrorist in an anarchist commune on a bed of thyme.

• Make love on the banks of Loch Ness.

• Peg a straight boy while he's tied up in Nintendo NES controller cords.

• Receive head while eating a maple bar from Top Pot.

• Take 10 people's virginity. Two down.

To read each and every write-in answer we received to this question, click here.

XII. What's the Sexiest Thing You Did in the Last Year?

Best of the write-ins:

• Doing it on a roof; having a helicopter shine its light onto us.

• Being fucked and choked against the bathroom mirror by my boss.

• Double penetrated a guy I met on the Burke Gilman Trail with his boyfriend while my boyfriend watched.

• Dressed all slutty, went downtown, and had crazy make-up sex with a sociopath while on the clock. I'm a preschool teacher. I used my "planning time."

• Fucking on our hands and knees in the muddy banks of a river near Darrington while spawning salmon leapt from the water all around us.

• That coast guard guy, then going to breakfast with him wearing his rumpled uniform.

• Gagged and bound a marine and pegged him.

• Got naked with my roommate and drew on each other with a Sharpie. Then we snuggled.

• Had sex in my car, which was parked, and which got rear-ended during the act.

• Had sex in my therapist's office with her son.

• Sex with another girl, both of us wearing only knee-high black socks.

To read each and every write-in answer we received to this question, click here.

 

Comments (50) RSS

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1
Seattle seems to be a very sexy city. I'm visiting in July for the first time. Can't wait.
Posted by db4530 on April 29, 2009 at 12:06 PM · Report
2
The graphs and much are too small!
Posted by missingseattle on April 29, 2009 at 12:35 PM · Report
3
this makes my data geek go all squishy,
Posted by sasha on April 29, 2009 at 1:21 PM · Report
4
I thought there were more questions? And I don't remember a question about sex with the Obama admin. Perhaps I'm not eating enough deep fried food?

And... a greater percentage of people have had sex with an animal than have gone to a professional dominant? That sort of amazes me.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 29, 2009 at 2:58 PM · Report
5
'Peg a straight boy while he's tied up in Nintendo NES controller cords.'

yes please! e-mail me; you bring the d-pads, I'll bring the knee pads.
Posted by devilsmoke on April 29, 2009 at 3:08 PM · Report
6
Urgutha - Animals are cheaper.
Posted by Stacie917 on April 29, 2009 at 4:50 PM · Report
7
Yeah, the graphs are too small!
Posted by already wears glasses on April 29, 2009 at 6:38 PM · Report
8
what a fun and sexy time for you.
Posted by George Michael Bluth on April 29, 2009 at 6:47 PM · Report
9
Graphs are WAY too small... interesting results... it would take entirely too much time to read each and every write-in answer!
Posted by kb on April 29, 2009 at 7:15 PM · Report
10
I noticed that you included "incest roleplay" but not ageplay. In your next survey I'd like to see how many people are into any variation on the schoolgirl roleplay.
Posted by matbmmf on April 29, 2009 at 8:29 PM · Report
11
hey the graphs are... oh.
Posted by j on April 30, 2009 at 12:10 AM · Report
12
The size of the graphics depends on the size of your browser window. Every browser should have a "view as full screen" or equivilent option, and using that should clear up the small graphs.
Posted by Lurker 0 on April 30, 2009 at 2:03 AM · Report
13
makes me sad
Posted by deprived monogamus dude on April 30, 2009 at 7:26 AM · Report
14
It seems about half a dozen people want to have sex in space/zero gravity. Any one of you have half a billion dollars to make this a reality for all of us that want that?
Posted by Warren on April 30, 2009 at 8:35 AM · Report
15
Surprised that only 64% of people surveyed identified as straight. Also, glad to see that other people like kinky sex too. Growing up in a repressed religious environment made me feel really bad about experimenting with other women and wanting kinky sex. Apparently, it's not that big of a deal. I wonder if this survey matches the national average? If so, why are so many people so intolerant and uptight about sex? Or maybe I just need to make some new friends, haha.
Posted by ladylicious on April 30, 2009 at 9:40 AM · Report
16
Graphs are too small?? if you click on the graph it pops up!
How frigging small is your computer screen? Reading The Stranger on your Blackberry is just silly. I read The Stranger online in Rochester NY every week since I moved from Seattle in 2003. I love it. Thank you
Posted by FLX on April 30, 2009 at 9:46 AM · Report
17
Hey! There were more questions. I was excited to find out how many partners the average similarly aged Seattleite has had, so I can either (a) revel in my successful sluttiness or (b) try harder and THEN revel in my successful sluttiness.
Posted by FemmeBot on April 30, 2009 at 10:27 AM · Report
18
Hey you dumbasses who think the graphs are too small... CLICK on the IMAGE. There ya go.
Posted by um, yeah on April 30, 2009 at 10:27 AM · Report
19
This survey turns me on. If I can accomplish any of the best of the sexiest acts done last year (or at least get in the ballpark), I'll die a happy girl.
Posted by wordsmakemehorny on April 30, 2009 at 11:19 AM · Report
20
And I still have not had oral sex with a maple bar! So sad.
Posted by Rachel on April 30, 2009 at 11:30 AM · Report
21
Were their any differences across the country compared to Seattle?
Posted by Clearlyhere on April 30, 2009 at 11:58 AM · Report
22
hey, that's my sexy goal!
Posted by chunkyunicornlover53@aol.com on April 30, 2009 at 12:07 PM · Report
23
The person who wrote in "a baby" for the one thing they want to accomplish sexually before they die needs to be hunted down and arrested.
Posted by repulsed and appalled on April 30, 2009 at 1:42 PM · Report
24
I CANT READ ANYTHING
Posted by cantread on April 30, 2009 at 2:22 PM · Report
25
Hey repulsed and appalled, the question was "Before You Die, What's the One Thing You Want to Accomplish Sexually". Babies is a valid non-perverted answer.
Posted by tgren on April 30, 2009 at 4:07 PM · Report
26
Where's all the fun neighborhood stats like last year??? I want to see if Montlake is still the most sex-deprived place in the city.
Posted by jessejb on April 30, 2009 at 6:30 PM · Report
27
Who designed the layouts for the graphs and charts? they're yummy!
Posted by ascot on April 30, 2009 at 8:45 PM · Report
28
If you don't feel single enough already, go ahead and read the 'what you did last year' list :P
Posted by tiger on May 1, 2009 at 12:20 AM · Report
29
it's all so boringly savage...akin to shouting fuck into the dark
Posted by rilohburgee on May 1, 2009 at 2:06 AM · Report
30
wven when you click the graph, the words are much too small.
Posted by hiya on May 1, 2009 at 7:48 AM · Report
31
More people have cheated than fucked someone's butt?

More people have sex with animals than see pro doms?

What's the difference between being queer and being gay?

Actually, the most interesting part of this survey, in my mind is that no straight guys said they'd like to be having less sex than they are.
Posted by Adam on May 1, 2009 at 9:19 AM · Report
32
I am willing to be that there is more than one percent that would want to be banged by Tad
Posted by Chelsea on May 1, 2009 at 11:22 AM · Report
33
90% : too stupid to click on the graphs
Posted by omg on May 1, 2009 at 3:22 PM · Report
34
This is disconcerting because even by Stranger standards I'm still f'd up.
Posted by Rusty on May 1, 2009 at 3:40 PM · Report
35
The thought of the most (not all) the seattle population engaging in sexy time is a major turn off. Passive aggressive, infantile straight men with beards that smell like 3 day-old Dick's burgers engaged in sex with pasty angry chicks barking out orders as they tousle about over her DIY crafty accessory things (knitted purses featuring hand-stitched deer heads which haven't been selling well on Etsy, but are hit with the gals in Olympia) while her cats watch is the image that comes to mind when "Seattle" and "SEX" are used in the same sentence. However, there are some sexy folks there, but like thrift store finds, you have to dig to find them.
Posted by shaw on May 2, 2009 at 9:10 AM · Report
36
The list of Kinks seems pretty classical to me. A longtime Savage love reader, I kind of expected something more original... Well, better luck next time I guess. Fun reading anyway... thanx for that
Posted by vanilla&chocolate on May 2, 2009 at 12:02 PM · Report
37
The graphs aren't "too small" if you CLICK ON THEM!
Posted by henry on May 3, 2009 at 3:40 AM · Report
38
I'm with you, Shaw. Seattle has got to be the unsexiest place on earth. I've dug wells in famine-struck villages in Burundi that had more attractive prospects than your average Seattle bar on a Saturday night. As soon as I get the money together, I'm going to get the fuck out of this town, because I honestly can't take it anymore. Hell, I'd rather live in Chicago than this burnt-out, pretentious and sexless hellhole we call a city.
Posted by Davidyne on May 3, 2009 at 8:56 PM · Report
39
"I like big graphs and I cannot lie."

- Dan Kaminsky
Posted by Eric Arrr on May 3, 2009 at 9:16 PM · Report
40
Grown up can do whatever they want. The into doing kids/babies is deplorable. I hope bad things happen to you monsters.
Posted by MBAJ on May 4, 2009 at 2:13 PM · Report
41
And there is no data on penis size. I cry a foul.
Posted by Paul on May 4, 2009 at 3:25 PM · Report
P. 42
If you think graphs are still too small when you click on them, you can open them in a new window (by right clicking on it in windows or ctrl clicking on it in mac and choosing open link in a new window) and then the graphs are larger, and you can still zoom in more, presuming you don't have your browser open absurdly largely.

Why are there so many women who want to have a vaginal orgasm? Is there honestly still the perception that a vaginal orgasm is "more mature" than a clitoral one? Honestly folks, some people's bodies are set up so its a lot harder to have an orgasm without some sort of stimulation to the clitoris (which ya know, is the place with all the nerves, so it makes sense). Maybe if people were less afraid of using their hands, tongues, or vibrators during sex, there wouldn't be as much of an orgasm gap between straight men and straight women...(75% of men reach orgasm in partner sex on a regular basis, whereas only 29% of women do. And, its not that those 71% of women are incapable of orgasm, as 83% have orgasms when masturbating, and 83% when with a female partner).

I also feel kind of bad for people who have apparently never had an orgasm...
Posted by P. on May 4, 2009 at 8:01 PM · Report
43
Well done, The Stranger. The categories/possible answers are a perfect blend of honesty and hilarity, and the write-ins.... well, "Had sex in my therapist's office with her son" says it all.

I'll be in Seattle Saturday afternoon. With any luck, I'll run into a few of you kinky straight lasses. But my mother is not a therapist....

Oh, and the graphs are WAY TOO BIG. YIKES, THOSE ARE BIG GRAPHS!!!!
Posted by California on May 4, 2009 at 8:12 PM · Report
44
What i would like to know is what dose this all mean? Buttplugs and stuff, Dildos,pissed off pissed on! Okay i get that but,what dose all this say about us? Are we normal? Is my buttplug too small?What direction are we as human beings going?
Posted by jonanyone09 on May 4, 2009 at 9:37 PM · Report
Tack 45
I guess the answer to that question, jonanyone09, is this: as society plows forward into newer and newer sexual territory, graphs will continue to get smaller and smaller.
Posted by Tack on May 5, 2009 at 12:39 PM · Report
46
Scarlett Johansson "actress"actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created illegally using stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady.Original family didn't authorize any activity with stolen biomaterials,no matter what form it was created in,it's all need to be back to original family control in Cedars-Sinai MedicalCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation.Original Scarlett never was engaged,by the way
Posted by Serge on May 5, 2009 at 5:34 PM · Report
47
People from outside of Seattle need to know that Capital Hill is Seattle's Gay community and people who read the Stranger are hardly a cross section of the community.

I love that 12% are gay (male) and only 3% are lesbian.
Posted by Jennifer England on May 5, 2009 at 10:02 PM · Report
48
The next survey should be about how many of these assholes were lying with their penthouse forum fantasies.
Posted by TheEvilOyO on May 5, 2009 at 10:19 PM · Report
49
Ugh! The Stranger web editors put up all this data as *pictures* instead of text making it completely un-googlable. I needed to whip out what percentage of Seattlites would do Hillary the other day and couldn't find it. The zooming graphs are pretty and all, but I'd rather have something *usable*.

Here's a tip to the folks at TheStranger.com, it pays to make your website accessible without pictures. Not only will blind people read your site, but so will Googlebot (which we all know leads to more hits, leads to more viewers, leads to more ad money, leads to you keeping your job as webmaster).
Posted by The Graphs Are Too Graphy on July 15, 2009 at 2:38 AM · Report
50
Jennifer England, the question is about sexual orientation not sex. Half of all gay people are women. Most of the gay girls that I know prefer the gender-neutral term 'gay' to 'lesbian' (which just means a gay woman).
Posted by lfivepoints69 on July 12, 2010 at 5:05 PM · Report

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