January: Hard Times for Gay Sex Clubs. Los Angeles officials issue a statement banning unprotected sex at bathhouses. The next day several L.A. men volunteer to be roving penis inspectors.
February: Talk About the Shrinkage Factor. Nudist activist Stephen Gough, and his girlfriend Melanie Roberts walk from one of end of Britain to the other wearing nothing but boots, socks, and hats the entire time.
March: Much Too Late for Janet Jackson, Unfortunately. The Maryland House of Delegates joins other lawmakers in passing a bill prohibiting "upskirting" or "downblousing"—taking pictures of people's "intimate parts" without their knowledge or approval when they have a reasonable expectation of privacy.
April: You'd Think He'd Be Able to Do a Background Check for That. Homeland Security Department spokesman Brian J. Doyle is arrested on felony charges for carrying on explicit online conversations with an undercover Florida detective he thought was a 14-year-old girl.
May: No Sucking Up to Hoover. Students of Austin, Texas, art teacher Tamara Hoover discover a selection of predictably artsy photos of her, taken by her girlfriend, on the online photo-sharing site Flickr. The students rat her out, resulting in her suspension and eventual resignation.
June: No Sex, Please. We're Sports Fans. In spite of anti sex worker's dark predictions about a huge increase in trafficked women and children being forced into sexual slavery, prostitutes in Berlin report slow business during the World Cup.
July: They Are Very, Very Rock and Roll. Marie Osmond is shocked to find that her daughters have raunchy MySpace pages: 18-year-old Jessica claims she is a bisexual who craves sex "as many times as possible," while her 16-year-old sister calls herself a "slut" and a "whore."
August: His Next Project—Liddy Dole in a Thong. A bust of Hillary Clinton, complete with rather prominent breasts, is unveiled at the New York Museum of Sex. The sculptor, Daniel Edwards, says the statue's cleavage is about "prominently portraying [Senator Clinton's] sexual power."
September: Bringing New Meaning to the Word "Congress." Florida Republican representative, and antipedophilia activist, Mark Foley resigned from office after it was revealed that he had sent inappropriate and sexually explicit e-mails to young men who had formerly served as congressional pages.
October: Or, Simply Poke Out Children's Eyes and Be Done with It. Frisco, Texas, fires art teacher Sydney McGee for taking kids to a Dallas art museum where they passed by art exhibits featuring nudes.
November: The Devil Made Him Do It. Only in This Case, the Devil Wears Leather. Evangelical Christian leader and anti-gay activist Ted Haggard admits having gay sex with a muscle-daddy escort and doing methamphetamine.
December: Oops, I Did It Again. Britney Spears exposes her genitals to photographers, and the resulting images are widely disseminated. Unfortunately, since she is not an art teacher, no legal action can be taken against either her or the photographers.
From the press release: "Extend your boundaries with aerial dance, a unique new form of exercise and expression. Explore, fly, dance, soar, and spin on low trapeze bars in a safe, fun, and supportive environment." Can you say Polynesian fuck-swing? Discover U, West Seattle Campus, 365-0400 or email firstname.lastname@example.org, $35—$45, 7:15—9 pm.
Socialize, flirt, and do BDSM with the girls. All orientations welcome. Wet Spot, 1602 15th Ave W, building E, 270-9746, email@example.com, 9 pm—3 am, $15, members only, female ID required.
How do we integrate religion with our sensual selves? In this class, instructor Teri Ciacchi explores the connection between consensual BDSM and spirituality. Wild at Heart, 1111 NW Leary Ave, www.wildatheartxxx.com or 782-5538, 5:30—7:30 pm, $20.
An exploration of anal delight, including anatomy, cleanliness, prostate pleasures, safer sex, plus more advanced topics. Babeland, 707 E Pike St, 328-2914, 7:30 pm, $30.
Max's monthly class. The theme: head bondage, hair ties, and various ways to tie up female and male genitals. Mistress Matisse will be teaching the "boy bits" segment. Wet Spot, 1602 15th Ave W, building E, 270-9746 or www.bondagelessons.com, 2:30 pm, $30-—$35, nonmembers welcome at workshop, members only at party that follows.
A friendly discussion group for women of all orientations, the WWC meets monthly to answer questions and provide resources for women new to the Seattle BDSM/fetish community. Hot Dish, 2255 NE 65th St, www.wwcseattle.org, 7—9 pm, $3 suggested donation.