Ring ring!

Caller: Hello, Mistress? Do you do forced feminization?

This is one of those calls where I have to make a choice: I can just say no and end the call, or I can try drawing this man out and see if he and I can find some mutual ground. But he's off to a bad start, because I actually dislike both the term "forced feminization" and many of its implications.

Forced feminization, if you don't know, is an erotic humiliation game where a male submissive is "forced" to dress up in women's clothes—and sometimes a wig and makeup, too—while he protests and pretends to resist. For these guys, the mistress crossdressing them is a punishment or a demonstration of her cruelty and dominance.

Now, Tim Curry had a formative effect on me in my adolescence, so I think boys in drag can look pretty sexy. I like guys who dress up because it's so extra-naughty and taboo, or because women's lingerie is silky and feels good against their skin.

But the idea that it's inherently humiliating for a man to be dressed up as a woman—oh, I don't like that. I happen to be a woman myself, you see. Why would I think making someone look more like me would be a punishment? I'd be more likely to label it as a reward. I'm not someone who goes around slapping the misogyny label on every instance of gender differentiation, but in this case I think the extra-large high heel fits. Especially since there is no equivalent custom of humiliating female submissives by making them wear fake mustaches and strap-ons.

Me: You can bring clothes and dress, if you like. I enjoy that. But I'm not really into making it a punishment thing, if that's what you mean.

Caller: Hey, I'm not gay or anything. I mean, I don't do this by myself. I only do it when the mistress makes me.

Hello, Mr. Defensive! It's surprising how often I get the "I'm not gay" response. Sometimes it's just a mild statement of fact, but often—like now—it's a hostile rebuttal.

Me: Crossdressing doesn't mean you're gay. And yes, I assume you like women or you wouldn't be calling me. As I said, if you want to bring an outfit and dress up, that's great, and we can do some kind of role-play around it. But I don't dress boys up to punish them, I do it as an erotic thing.

There's a brief pause while he considers what I said, and then a dial tone. Guess I just wasn't playing up to his fantasy enough.

Am I being too literal about the "forced feminization" thing? Maybe. It is a fantasy, and I don't believe that doing something in fantasy-play is the same as doing it in reality. I've done age-play with other grownups, for example, and I'm not a real-life child molester. So yeah, it's just a game. But that doesn't mean I have to play it.


Kink Calendar



Little Red Studio is an intimate space for erotic performance art. This show is a sit-back-and-watch format rather than the interactive style LRS sometimes does—a good choice for the shy. Little Red Studio, 328-4758, www.littleredstudioseattle.com, 8:30 pm, $30.



Because Magic: The Gathering™ is so 1998. This tournament is open to players of all genders, orientations, and skill levels, and will be run using the Swiss pairing format. Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, questions@cascadegames.com, registration 9—9:45 am, $15.


Open to people of all genders and orientations who are involved—or interested—in polyamorous relationships. Wet Spot, 1602 15th Ave W, building E, 728-4533, www.scn.org/~spg, 5—8 pm, $3—$5 donation, membership not required.



Teri Ciacchi conducts an educational exploration of the clitoris, using live models and illustrations. Wet Spot 1602 15th Ave W, building E, 270-9746, noon—4 pm, $50—$150 sliding scale, membership and preregistration required.


The theme is "Naked Lunch." (No, not the book!) The Olympians are a gay men's nudist social club that meets at a private Seattle location. Notice: This is not a clothing-optional event—get naked or stay home. www.theolympians.net, contact olynewsletter@aol.com for location, 11 am—4 pm, $5.



Local erotica writers tempt and tease with steamy readings. Babeland, 707 E Pike St, 328-2914, 7 pm, free.



Local beauties the Atomic Bombshells shake, shimmy, and twirl in an all-new show. Triple Door, 216 Union St, 838-4333, www.thetripledoor.net, 7 pm (18+) and 10 pm (21+), $18 adv/$20 DOS.