People ask me all the time what I think of Virginia.

More specifically, people who know I'm originally from Northern California ask why I now live and work in Richmond, Virginia, the capital of the Confederacy, where the commission of a Lincoln statue caused a significant grassroots uprising last year. Virginia is the state that didn't vote to ratify the Women's Suffrage Amendment until 1952 (after rejecting it in 1920). Until last summer's Supreme Court ruling, Virginia was one of 13 states that still had a sodomy law. Just 10 years ago, it was illegal to serve alcohol to a "known homosexual."

And Virginia continues to lag behind the rest of the country in other important ways. Neither sexual orientation nor gender identity is included in the state's employment discrimination or hate crime laws. The commonwealth doesn't allow second-parent adoption for gay and lesbian couples. And Virginia is the only state in the country that prevents private companies from providing health benefits to the domestic partners of their employees. In addition, Virginia passed its own Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in 1997, and gay and lesbian people are today still forced to face the reality that coming out could mean a loss of job, children, and family.

All this from a state whose motto is "Virginia Is for Lovers."

The piéce de résistance, however, came this past April when the Virginia General Assembly passed the "Affirmation of Marriage Act." One of the most restrictive anti-gay laws in the country, the law, which goes into effect on July 1, reads:

A civil union, partnership contract or other arrangement between persons of the same sex purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage is prohibited. Any such civil union, partnership contract or other arrangement entered into by persons of the same sex in another state or jurisdiction shall be void in all respects in Virginia and any contractual rights created thereby shall be void and unenforceable.

Virginia Is for Lovers, perhaps, but some restrictions clearly apply.

Not only does Virginia now prohibit civil unions, but the bill is so broadly written it may very well strip the only tools GLBT people have to protect themselves, their partners, and their children. Wills, custody arrangements, advanced medical directives, and the like are all now open to challenge.

Just as importantly, this law sends an incredibly hurtful message to the state's gay community--that Virginia is not a place we should call home. Shortly after the bill's passage, we at Equality Virginia, the state's largest gay rights organization, heard from numerous members and supporters who were considering moving to more welcoming states. And they wouldn't have to move far. Simply by crossing the Potomac River into the District--less than a one-minute drive--gays and lesbians can enjoy a domestic-partner registry, second-parent adoption, employment protections, and domestic-partner health insurance benefits for city employees.

Stay and fight, or move someplace more accepting--it's a tough choice for gay and lesbian Virginians, especially those with families. The piles of legal documents same-sex couples have relied on for protection are vulnerable. Couples are worried about medical crises, losing custody of children, or whether or not their wills are still valid. Small groups of activists statewide are asking hospitals, banks, and other institutions how they're going to apply this law, and so far the answers have been ambiguous at best. This leaves gay and lesbian Virginians in legal limbo, allowing the Virginia judiciary, or anyone else in a position of authority, to discriminate against our families, pointing to this law as justification. While we're launching a legal challenge to this law in the coming weeks, and possibly a legislative challenge next year, to say that the consequences for gay families are terrifying is an understatement.

However, I hope gay and lesbian Virginians will stay. We can't surrender Virginia to intolerance. We should stay to help build a movement to protect the gay Virginians who can't leave because of economic or family reasons. And if we can win in Virginia, we'll be able to win anywhere. We need to continue the fight where it exists, not hightail it to more friendly climes.

Two hundred years ago, native Virginian Thomas Jefferson wrote, "No man has a natural right to commit aggression on the equal rights of another." Fair-minded Virginians will work tirelessly to make this value, this Virginian value, come true. That is what keeps me here in the Commonwealth.

Dyana Mason is the executive director of Equality Virginia.