Hey! It's Halloween time again! Time for candy! Time for spookiness! Please enjoy now Lindy West's personal, extremely knowledgeable, only semirandom recommendations for all your filmy H-ween needs:
1. Slashacre! Wed Oct 29, Market Theater, 7 pm.
Are you lucky enough to be holding this paper on Wednesday afternoon? If so, it's not too late for Slashacre! For the rest of you, um, sorry. It's too late for Slashacre! Anyway, Slashacre! sounds like a fucking good time. Hosted by local "guerilla film/comedy group" (I don't know what that means) the Beta Society, it involves the premiere of local slasher spoof Junkbucket; a screening of Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter with live commentary; and the chance to touch tongues (okay, probably not) with Adrienne King, lone survivor of the original Friday the 13th. Hot!
2. "War of the Worlds" 70th Broadcast Anniversary. Thurs Oct 30, Northwest Film Forum, 8 pm.
On October 30, 1938, Orson Welles took over ye olde radio talkie-box and made America shit its pants. In what is widely considered around my cubicle to be the Best Idea Ever, the 60-minute broadcast, through a series of fake news reports, chronicled an unfolding Martian takeover à la H. G. Wells's novel: "Five... five great machines... wading the Hudson like a man wading through a brook...." The Northwest Film Forum will be setting up a cozy New Deal living room and broadcasting the whole original spine-chilling business. (Note: If you are considering re-creating the national pants-shitting in the Northwest Film Forum's living room, please don't. Your commitment to historical accuracy is officially creepy.)
3. Candy. Every day, every time, everywhere.
Eat candy! Come on, get started! Candy won't eat itself!
4. Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn. Fri Oct 31–Sat Nov 1, Egyptian, midnight.
Possibly the best of Sam Raimi's Evil Dead franchise, EDII:DBD strikes a nice balance between the unintentional camp of the first one ("I don't like cellars!!!") and the annoying, hammy self-consciousness of Army of Darkness (shut up, Army of Darkness fans). Cons: no tree rape. Pros: more chainsaw.
5. Religulous. Various theaters.
These evangelical nut jobs are a million times scarier than mummies and wolfmans, because they are real. They exist. And if you are very, very unlucky, they live in your neighborhood (move!). "You don't have to pass an IQ test to be in the Senate!" says a Jesus-lovin' senator. Fuck.
Runners-up: The Brain that Wouldn't Die (Grand Illusion); Freaks (SIFF Cinema); Female Trouble (Central Cinema). Have fun, weenises! Happy H-ween!