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Friday, November 6, 2009
Chow / Drunk The Fate of the Five Point!
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 3:19 PM

- Continuing to cheat tourists and drunks under new ownership.
Remember the rampant rumors at the end of September that world's best dive bar the Five Point was closing? Thanks be to drunk baby Jeebus, it's not true. But the OTHER rumor that a local club promoter was the new owner? True—it's Dave Meinert, who manages Blue Scholars, Common Market, etc., and produces the Capitol Hill Block Party. His soon-to-be-babymama/partner Mandy Park will be managing the place (she used to waitress there, and that's where she and Meinert met—awwww).
Will there be any changes? Nothing that's going to wreck the Five Point magic. Some of the duct-taped upholstery will be replaced, along with extra messed-up parts of the floor. Scrubbing has occurred. And a few updates to the food menu will happen on Monday: The coffee will now be Caffe Vita; liver and onions is back from yesteryear; and a couple more options for vegetarians will be added (including the Green Cat curry tofu scramble, with the recipe provided by the owner of the beloved bygone Green Cat Cafe).
It's good news for everybody who loves the Five Point. Cheers!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Chow Rules for Waitstaff
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Nov 5, 2009 at 3:24 PM
In case you haven't seen it yet, it's 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do, Part 1 and Part 2, over at the New York Times' business blog. Part 1 has 1,158 comments and counting.
As a slow eater, these are favorites of mine:
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.75. Do not ask if someone is finished when others are still eating that course.
These are especially well-put:
11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
Some of it is a bit much—saying "No problem" really isn't a problem here except at the toniest places, and "Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant" is just wrong (it is quite relevant if someone is torn).
But these, yes please!
56. Do not ignore a table because it is not your table. Stop, look, listen, lend a hand. (Whether tips are pooled or not.)58. Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.
And this:
77. Do not disappear.
Chow Ice Cream for Breakfast!
Posted by Megan Seling on Thu, Nov 5, 2009 at 9:24 AM

The oatmeal breakfast will be offered every weekend morning from 8 am-1 pm at the Wallingford location and 9 am-1 pm at the Capitol Hill location. And for this special breakfast, they're even bringing back the infamous bacon maple flavor.
Having not tried it yet, I can't decide if this is oatmeal-with-ice cream thing is a delicious invention or a disgusting gimmick. I hope to find out this weekend. In the mean time, I'm sure you commenters have an opinion! You always do. ("It's overpriced!" "It's overrated!" "It's making America fat!" "Vaccinated pit bulls ate my ice cream!" Whine on, whiners.)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Chow Today in Neccos: Still Totally Gross
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 10:46 AM
Necco news: The horrible little discs are now made with all-natural flavors and colors. Green—its horror being dependent on man-made elements—has been lost in the process.
Two-Block Radius / Chow / Election / Drunk The Aching Head of the SECB
Posted by The Stranger Election Control Board on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 9:38 AM
The SECB ended up at the War Room last night, where it bought Mike McGinn* a Guinness and then drank a quantity of whiskey. On mornings like this, the SECB recalls, what is very best is a plate of eggs and a milkshake. But where to go (without, of course, leaving the two-block radius)? Charlie's sounds a little weird. Glo's—does Glo's have milkshakes? Maybe it will have to be a coursed meal, with milkshake at Bluebird, then omelet at Cafe Presse. That is really suboptimal. The SECB has a new initiative for Mr. Eyman: Initiative All Restaurants Have Milkshakes. Vote yes.
*Knock on wood!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Chow Red Meat Issues
Posted by The Stranger Election Control Board on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 6:24 PM
As the Stranger Election Control Board fans out over the city...
The SECB's hive mind isn't concerned at the moment with weighty matters of state or the fate of various candidates or boondoggle tunnels and their likely cost overruns or the very real chance that King County voters might elect a local TV news anchor to head up county government when "local TV news broadcast" is universally acknowledged to be a joke—it's practically a punch line—and local TV news anchors are universally presumed to be struggling under the weight of an extra chromosome until genetic testing demonstrates otherwise. No, what concerns the SECB at the moment is this: HOW COME NO RESTAURANT IN THIS FUCKING TOWN CAN COOK A BURGER MEDIUM? WHY DOES EVERY BURGER PREPARED IN SEATTLE, NO MATTER HOW YOU ORDER IT, COME BLOODY AND BLEEDING AND RARE?
Are they trying to kill us? And the SECB would like a cupcake. And yes the SECB had two beers with that rare burger—why do you ask?
Chow / Drunk Chow Time: Citizen and Nordo
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 1:14 PM
Have you been to Citizen in lower Queen Anne yet? It is adorable, and the crepes are pretty good, and the wine is insanely cheap. More here.
Also, Chef Nordo Lefesczki—or at least someone who bothered to register as such—has chimed in over in the comments on the controversial don't-call-it-dinner-theater Cafe Nordo: The Modern American Chicken. For a purportedly nutso, possibly fictional chef, Nordo sounds quite reasonable. And he says he never cooked onion rings in Arizona, as another commenter contends.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Chow / Books Vampire Hunger
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 3:28 PM
Oh dear: Twi-hards will have a Twilight-themed restaurant to enjoy the next time they visit Forks ("Home of Twilight's Edward Cullen®").
FORKS, Wash. (AP) - A new restaurant planned to open next year in Forks will be called Volterra after a city in the Twilight vampire novels, which are set in Forks.Owners Annette and Tim Root told The Peninsula Daily News it will be a family restaurant, and they have applied for a liquor license.
Skinny emo-looking boys in the Forks area should consider applying to work as waiters in this restaurant. If they wear a little bit of glitter, they'll be getting laid all the time. I wonder if any confused Twilight fans will wander into Volterra up in Ballard by mistake. If they do, I would like to urge them to try the wild boar. It's really wonderful.
(Via KOMO News.)
Chow / Tech / Books / Nerd Took 'Em Long Enough
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 11:27 AM
Marvel Comics just announced that they're starting to sell comics over the iPhone for as low as 99¢ each. Frustratingly, they're only issuing back issues of comics. I don't understand why they wouldn't make their comics available in multiple formats on the day of publication. I suppose they're worried about cannibalizing their own business, but the iPhone is a much larger market than just people who go into comic book stores—in theory, they could expand their readership by exponential levels, and it would cut down on digital comic piracy (which is a much larger problem than prose book piracy at the moment). It's easier to pay a buck than go through the hassle of torrenting a comic.
In other comics news, Salman Rushdie is thinking about writing a comic book.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Chow / TV Last Night on Top Chef
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Oct 29, 2009 at 2:56 PM
By popular demand, this post has been placed after the jump. Everybody for whom it was a spoiler: I hate a spoiler very, very much—my sincere apologies.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Chow / Drugs Sorry About All That Pot, Eastlake
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Oct 28, 2009 at 10:13 AM
Eastlake Ave. has the letter that Pazzo's owner David Mendoza has written to the neighborhood saying sorry for importing over a ton of marijuana into our great nation this past summer.
"I am truly sorry for my actions, the results of those decisions, and the breach of trust, in which you as a neighborhood had given me. No matter where you sit on the morality, or legality of marijuana, I still broke the laws of the United States, and more importantly, the integrity of my community, and the trust of my family. For this, I sincerely hope that you, as my community, will accept my deepest apologies."Mendoza writes that he has received close to a hundred letters of support (and a few of "condonment") from Eastlake residents.
The whole letter is here.
As a former resident of Eastlake, I accept your apology, Mr. Mendoza. Your Pazzo's makes a damn good pie, and I'm sorry you're stuck at the SeaTac Federal Detention Center awaiting what will likely be a long federal prison term. I'd like to apologize to you, if I may, on behalf of the good ol' U.S. of A. for its stupid, stupid drug laws.
Thanks, HL.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Chow / ??!! Trick-or-Treat FAIL
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Oct 27, 2009 at 9:40 AM

- rochelle, et. al. / flickr
It's "Reverse Trick-or-Treat": In which lucky, lucky kids get to "turn the usual Halloween tradition of receiving candy on its head when they distribute Fair Trade-certified chocolate to adults. Attached to the chocolate will be a card explaining the labor and environmental problems in the cocoa industry globally and how Fair Trade provides a solution."
In Tacoma, fair-trade store Global Creations is hosting “'store-to-store' instead of 'door-to-door' reverse trick-or-treating on October 31st"—meaning not only are you going to stores instead of houses, YOU'RE giving THEM candy.
So you're all "Trick or treat—wait, no, dear store proprietor! I jest! Here is some Fair Trade chocolate that I am giving to YOU so we can save the planet and end child labor TOGETHER!" And maybe you're dressed as an ANGEL!
But instead of the card explaining the labor and environmental etc., you give them a card that says, "I AM THE UNWILLING CAPTIVE OF POLITICALLY CORRECT MONSTERS! CHILD LABOR: YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT! HELP ME!"
Monday, October 26, 2009
Chow Harvest Vine/Txori Owners Split
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 5:17 PM

- harvestvine.com
- The world's best facial hair (next to Salvador Dali).
Nancy Leson at the Seattle Times has the details on their divorce and what will happen to Harvest Vine and Txori—while chef Joseba Jimenez de Jimenez will remain involved for at least a year, his wife and business partner Carolin Messier is buying him out.
Whatever else happens, the man will always an amazing name and a likewise mustache.
Chow / At Large Headline of the Day, Zombie Edition
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 10:51 AM
Okay, it's from yesterday, but Dan's right: Zombies better watch out!
Man Ordering Food Called a Zombie, Punched Twice
This, however, is clearly a case of undead misidentification—the only food a zombie would be ordering is BRAAAAAINS! (The baby ones are extra-tender.)
Friday, October 23, 2009
Chow Free-Fries Friday
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 10:53 AM
Free fries and $2 pints: This evening brings an especially happy hour at Pike Street Fish Fry and Moe Bar.

- Twenty-five feet from the door, please, sir.
Oh! ALSO: Have you seen the new Happiest Hour guide in this week's paper? It is awesome. All that info is also online over here and available for your iPhone via Cocktail Compass. I am now thirsty.
Chow Hey Cheapskate!
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 10:27 AM
From the Puget Sound Business Journal:
Zagat’s 2010 America’s Top Restaurants survey of 45 markets showed that Seattle was tied with Hawaii for the stingiest tippers, giving just 18.4 percent.
What's with you people? Saint Louis and Philadelphia tip better than you. At this point, 20 percent is the baseline. If you're tipping less than that for anything save abysmal service, you should just stay home.
Thanks to kid icarus.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Chow Chow Foods vs. Chao Bistro: Make. It. Stop.
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Oct 22, 2009 at 2:27 PM
The two sides don't appear to be talking to each other, but they are talking to The Stranger.
Over in Bar Exam, the alleged-trademark-infringement inanity thus far is recapped, and we now have two updates.
UPDATE #1: A statement from Chao Bistro owner Tony Kang via email: "Yamashiro LLC respects the intellectual property rights of others and the law. However, we do not believe we infringe any trademarks of Chow Foods and we intend to vigorously defend ourselves. Our service to customers will not be disrupted by the suit."
UPDATE #2: By phone moments ago, Chow Foods owner Peter Levy, sounding profoundly weary of the entire matter, said:
Am I going to drop the lawsuit? Yes. I’m just done.
I’ve got more significant concerns than this.
I’m fine with what they're doing—good luck to them.
I mentioned that The Stranger's food and restaurants section has been called Chow since last century (and now we have this newfangled Slog category of the same name). "And I didn’t sue you, did I?" Levy said.
The end (we hope).
For the curious, a photo of Chao Bistro's interior is after the jump.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Chow / Books Alton Brown Signed Your WHAT?!?
Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Oct 21, 2009 at 4:25 PM

My partner has a sort of lesbian culinary crush on Alton Brown, so thanks to The Stranger for advertising his book reading and signing.Celebrity chef Brown signed books at Third Place Books on October 16th. You wouldn't have missed the signing if you read our readings listings like Laura, who is now the proud owner of an autographed squash:Here is a picture of Alton signing a spaghetti squash we grew this summer. Scruffy looking thing, isn’t he?
Chow The Different Kinds of Apples That There Are
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Oct 21, 2009 at 9:59 AM
This morning, I would like to say: www.allaboutapples.com, I love you.
You have the most complete apple variety listing on the web!
These are just the As:
Aceymac
Adams Pearmain
Adanac
Akane
Akero
Akifu Fuji
Albany Beauty
Alexander
Alfriston
Alkmene
Allington Pippin
Almata
Ambrosia, USPP #10,789
American Summer Pearmain
Ananas Reinette
Anaros
Anderson Jonathan
Andre Sauvage
Anna
Antonovka
Api Etoile
Arkansas Black
Arlet
Aroma
Aromatic Russet
Ashmead's Kernel
Astrachan, Red
Aurora Golden Gala®
Austin Apple (Sponsel cv.)
Autumn Gold (Hein cv.), USPP #9,907
Autumn Pearmain
The last on your list: Zuccalmaglio's Reinette.
Thank you, Internet and Jill.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Chow / Drunk This Week in the Chow Section: Lindy Goes to Chiang's, Sazerac's Crazy Happy Hour, and More
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Oct 20, 2009 at 1:50 PM
Over in the paper-paper, Lindy West (finally) discovers the Holy Grail of Chiang's Gourmet: the fourth menu of weekend Taiwanese dim sum.
A friend and I trundled sleepily up to Chiang's one Saturday morning, 11:30-ish, for a hangover-wicking early lunch. We were feeling particularly whitey that day—moo shu was to be had, Mongolian beef, maybe even some ridiculous fried abomination like General Tso's. We were sleepy! The world was our Americanized Chinese oyster. The short-haired, vest-clad, matter-of-fact woman who appears to run the place greeted us warmly. "Do you want the special breakfast menu?" she asked, walking us to our table. "Um, okay," we responded. "But can we have the regular menu, too?" She looked at us like we were stupid.
And Bar Exam (finally) goes to happy hour at Sazerac and enjoys its insane bounty:
It's 185 seats of les bon temps actively roulez-ing, with beer, wine, and cocktails priced to move at $3 to $6, and more than two dozen small plates under $10. Would grilled andouille sausage make you happy? How about gulf prawns, wood-fire-roasted with chorizo?.. The happy-hour menu boggles the mind while haphazardly circling the globe, encompassing local oysters, pulled-pork sliders, wood-fired pizzas (including the regrettably named "Funky Pizza of the Day"), beef tartare, feta-stuffed peppers.
Plus the Happiest Hour at Solo, and Chow Bio with bartender Billy Beckett at Bastille.
Fresh in Chow in tomorrow's paper: a review of Cafe Nordo's Modern American Chicken, the Chao Bistro/Chow Foods controversy, Calamity Jane's happy hour, and more!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Death / Chow Yesterday in Creepy
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Sun, Oct 18, 2009 at 12:28 PM
Down in Los Angeles:
Neighbors Thought Dead Man's Body Was Part of Halloween Display
The body of Mostafa Mahmoud Zayed, 75, an apparent suicide, sat decomposing on his Marina del Rey balcony for days because neighbors thought the lifeless figure was a dummy and didn't call police.
And, continuing Friday's gross-out, another recall of more beef tongues with tonsils still attached, a whole state away. You'll recollect that:
Tonsils are considered a specified risk material (SRM) and must be removed from cattle of all ages in accordance with FSIS regulations. SRMs are tissues that are known to contain the infective agent in cattle infected with Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE) [MAD MOTHERFUCKING COW DISEASE, PEOPLE!].
Friday, October 16, 2009
Chow / Mailbag So, So, SO GROSS!!!
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Fri, Oct 16, 2009 at 9:31 AM
This morning's USDA recall email:
Nebraska Firm Recalls Beef Tongues That Contain Prohibited Materials
Those "Prohibited Materials"? Tonsils.
What's so wrong with (gag) beef tonsils?
Yep: Mad cow.
Tonsils are considered a specified risk material (SRM) and must be removed from cattle of all ages in accordance with FSIS regulations. SRMs are tissues that are known to contain the infective agent in cattle infected with Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE), as well as materials that are closely associated with these potentially infective tissues.
Don't eat your beef-tongues-with-tonsils with the following brand names:
"J.F. O'NEILL PACKING CO.," "WHOLE FOODS NATURAL," "WHOLE FOODS ORGANIC," "PREMIER PROTEIN PARTNERS," "MONTANA RANCH BRAND," "GRASSLAND BEEF," "AUSTIN MEATS," "MORGAN RANCH," "KOBE BEEF AMERICA," "IMPERIAL WAGYU BEEF," "BRAND ADVANTAGE WAGYU," "BRAND ADVANTAGE PARTNERS," "YAMAYA U.S.A.," and "A.D. ROSENBLATT."
I am now very, very unhungry. Perhaps forever.
P.S. Have you seen Food, Inc. yet? It's out on DVD.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Chow / Theater Who Is Nordo?
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Oct 15, 2009 at 3:38 PM
Cafe Nordo's Modern American Chicken opens in Seattle tonight, and vegetarians are invited to kindly recuse themselves by the mercurial, mysterious (and possibly fictitious) chef Nordo Lefesczki. The production has garnered rave reviews from newspapers across the country and a pan from the Mormons (at least according to the production itself; none of the papers quoted on chef Lefesczki's Carnal Food movement website have any web presence whatsoever).
"The much clamored for ticket to the prix-fixed wonderment that is Cafe Nordo administered a fierce dose of culinary comeuppance to the stuffier of Houston's foodies." - The Cypress Times-Gazette"Like a house of mirrors, Chef Nordo Lefesczki simultaneously laughs at and outdoes his peers with the sheer audacity of his food, his wacka-doodle-drank-the-kool-aid servers, and his ability to transport his patrons out of their comfort zones and into his strange and original mind. A chicken will never again just be a chicken." - Dover Journal
"Chez Panisse meets Medievil Times. On Acid." - Black Valley Post
"A complete farce...(with) ridiculous arrogance permeating from all levels of the establishment. The fact that the food was outstanding does not make the insult worth it." - Salt Lake Intelligencer
Modern American Chicken is an exploration in food, music, and performance of the life of a chicken, brought to you by Lefesczki's Seattle team Terry Podgorski and Erin Brindley (of the late Circus Contraption). I was lucky enough to attend a dining-only preview of Chicken recently and can assure you that the culinary component of the work is likely to be excellent; as for the show, who knows? Rumor has it that lovely and hilarious local actor/comedian Becky Poole is involved in the Seattle production, but no further reviews of the show's incarnation in other cities are to be found.
As for Nordo Lefesczki himself, Wikipedia is unenlightening, but from press materials he sounds like a character of high standards who brooks no foolishness:
Before inquiring after a vegetarian option, please consider two things: Our chicken is a vegetable, if she is what she eats, and Chef Nordo carries a large knife. Dietary restrictions? Certainly you have a shrink who will care. Nordo Lefesczki is a man of vision, not compromise. We will promise you that the meal will rely almost exclusively on the bountiful Northwest fall, and Nordo is intensely passionate about local, sustainable, and seasonal food. Cheat on your tofu; our chicken will convert you.
Also please note:
Do not refer to Cafe Nordo as Dinner Theater. Chef has been known to shut down entire restaurants at the mere whisper of such a term.
Modern American Chicken runs for 17 nights at a restaurant especially constructed inside the Theo Chocolate warehouse in Fremont; price is $85, which includes five courses with a flight of wine. Ticket information may be found over here.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Chow / Theater Burlesque, Very Rare
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Oct 13, 2009 at 2:40 PM

- www.missindigoblue.com
- Let a smile be your umbrella: Miss Indigo Blue.
The fanciest burlesque this city's ever seen begins this Friday at El Gaucho's posh Pampas Room.
On stage, the Blue Moon Cabaret is hosted by the lovely and talented Miss Indigo Blue, featuring the various lovelinesses and talents of the Swedish Housewife, Inga Ingenue, the Shanghai Pearl, and, from San Francisco, "burlesque songbird" Alotta Boutte (try pronouncing it) accompanied by Victor Noriega on piano.
On your plate, four courses include amuses-bouche of lobster and basil crostini, lamb with mint and lemon, and caprese skewers; beet salad with bleu d'Auvergne; choice of entree, including El Gaucho's famed filet; and a trio of desserts.
Tickets are (brace yourself) $100 to $225 per person, with the latter getting your posterior front-row table seating and your interior a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.
Shows alternate with the Dark Side of the Moon Burlesque most Fridays through December; more information and reservations, (206) 728-1337.
Chow This Week in the Chow Section: Delancey, Dilettante, Citizen, and MORE!
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Oct 13, 2009 at 11:29 AM
Over in comments on this week's review of Delancey, people are getting exercised about pizza:
wow. so what about via tribunali? or serious pie? or tutta bella? or flying squirrel? i'm all for anyone realizing a dream, but honestly, did their vision really spring from this much hubris? bringing something genuine to any part of seattle is a great enough thing on its own, but please don't thing that they are showing us the light. they are not...
Posted by another east coast transplant
Have you people ever been to New York? What are you talking about New York-Style pizza? First of all, this is wood fired pizza. Wood fired pizza is delicious, but it is not at all NYC-style pizza... Delancey clearly makes Neapolitan-syle pizza: It's wood fired, small pies, fresh, fancy, and local ingredients (including really good cheese). Don't get me wrong, it's great pizza, but it's not NY-style...
Posted by floridian
Floridian, I'll reserve judgment until I try Delancey's myself, but I think what "Ny style" means is a liitle less defined than you think it is. The pizza you are describing to me is "NY slice joint". However, NY Neopolitan is distinct from Naples Neopolitan, in that it tends to have a sturdier, slightly chewier crust, and be cooked a tiny bit more. Pizzas you get in Naples tend to have a very soft crust, and a floppy, almost soupy center that really is more suited to a knife and fork. So to me, "Ny style" can mean slice, or the firmer crusted neopolitan.
Posted by ohthetrees
Read the controversial review and join the pizza fray here.
Also! It's easier than ever to get lucky at Dilettante on Broadway now that they have a bar ("a man and a woman sat as close to each other as legally possible, drinking the bar's namesake drinks and staring into each other's eyes from a distance of approximately four inches").
And! A game of find the fake wine-descriptors (angular? Chewy? Nervous? Pointy?) in honor of happy hour at Wallingford's Smash Wine Bar & Bistro.
Furthermore! A Chow Bio of the co-owner and chef of new crepe cafe Citizen in lower Queen Anne—people are saying that it's a really cute place, and commenter Cody says "that dude is hot as hell!!!!!"
Fresh in Chow tomorrow: Lindy West on the wonder that is dim sum at Chiang's Gourmet on Lake City Way; Bar Exam on the wonder that is happy hour at downtown's Sazerac; and more, more, MORE!



























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