7:57 PM yesterday Holmes commented on Savage Love.
@10: From what I can tell, HARD and spouse only discussed these activities once. While drunk and/or stoned by the sound of it. So it doesn't sound like it's fair for HARD to call Mrs HARD a tease. I agree with Dan. Further discussion is necessary to evaluate the possibility of moving these ideas from the realm of fantasy to that of activity. But HARD needs to be careful. Because the next discussion when sober might freak the Mrs out. Chemistry can drop one's inhibitions and make sexy talk easier. But that might just have been the booze/pot talking. So go easy, Mr HARD, when you bring the subject up again.
Jan 12 Holmes commented on Savage Love.
Re. Dan's reply to BREEDER: 65 percent hit's Kinsey's research right on the nose. If I recall correctly, 35% of the male population fall between 1 and 6 on the Kinsey scale. So statistically, Dan shows zero bias.

As a straight (scale zero) guy, I like reading about relationship/sex issues from 'both sides' of the aisle. Much like on-line discussion boards revealed to people that their private kink/problem was in fact shared by many others, it's refreshing to see that we all share these issues, no matter who gets our private parts engorged.
Dec 21, 2016 Holmes commented on Washington State Attorney General Sues Matt Hickey Over Alleged Porn "Audition" Scam.
Rape accusations aside, Hickey may have been doing something unethical. But illegal?

Is it illegal for an aerospace company to contact employees of competitors purportedly to make them job offers, but in reality to find out what projects that are working on? Yes? I don't see many of their managers marched into court in orange jump suits.
Dec 15, 2016 Holmes commented on Why You Should Give a Shit That a Neighborhood Group Just Won a Fight Against Backyard Cottages.
Parking requirements. Ok, lets do away with them. But then lets see if we can write and enforce rules that say 'You rented a unit without parking. So quit trying to find a spot on the street to park your shitbox.'
Dec 9, 2016 Holmes commented on Dan Savage's Open Letter to Paul Allen on Lidding I-5, Righting a Wrong, and Leaving a Legacy.
Having Paul Allen fund this aside, lidding I-5 might not be a bad idea. But while we're doing that, we could clean it up through downtown Seattle and improve the traffic flow. Specifically, close off all but one on/off ramp to the city, probably somewhere around Dearborn. The space freed up could be used for a couple of additional lanes and, together with the elimination of all the merging traffic congestion, should handle the remaining traffic. We would end up with two 'Downtown Seattle' on/off ramps: This one and Mercer (call them North and South Downtown Seattle). The first step along the way to reducing our dependence on this roadway is to learn to do without it. Boxing it in or, as more extremists suggest, getting rid of it altogether, needs to start with this one little step.

But I suspect that once each local neighborhood and business district is approached and told "You are losing your on-ramp" the screams of anguish will be deafening. "Any other ramp. But not mine!" And then there will be the collective shriek from all of Seattle, as they will have to replace one of the principle functions of I-5 which is jumping on the freeway for a few blocks to the next exit, with more surface street capacity. When it's all done, the new real estate on top of the lid will be used for city arterial streets.
Nov 9, 2016 Holmes commented on Savage Love.
NAME worried about their partner calling out in the middle of coitus and worried that it might be the other Erin/Aaron/A Ron (Hubbard)? Now you can see my problem as an atheist when my lover starts screaming "Oh God!"
Nov 3, 2016 Holmes commented on Savage Love.
@52: "more in terms of relationships and interactions, not necessarily bank accounts."

This, exactly.

Back in my generation (You kids stay off my lawn!) the idea of wealthy men hanging around the strip club or shagging the nanny was the norm. Not so much anymore. One thing 'enlightened' men have picked up from the sexual revolution (BTW, who won that?) was that there is some value in pairing up with social, emotional, professional, etc. equals. The parameters of attraction go well beyond just the physical. It's also about a power balance. The reason some women put up with Trump's groping was that he had that power and the ability to promote or destroy the women around him, depending on how compliant they were. Today, that shit just doesn't fly anymore.

Happily, I have observed that the supply of independent, professional, educated women has increased dramatically. So at least for us guys, the pickings are getting better. On the other hand, I do feel sorry for the women who are attracted to Bubba the Jock types. The salary and social status bonus attributed to male physical appearance is disappearing. Or it never existed beyond PR campaigns of the Bubba crowd. So when I talk to women who want a hot hunk, it's usually them that complain about being limited to the maintenance guy. The hot looking stud/CEO/PhD appears to be a unicorn these days.
Nov 2, 2016 Holmes commented on Savage Love.
@40: "I still wonder how common are wife-driven scenarios in which they end up with an older, chubby guy."

I don't know how common that particular scenario is. Common enough that I get approached.
Nov 2, 2016 Holmes commented on Savage Love.
@32: I think cuckolding is about humiliation. And the further down the scale one goes (in one's partner's eyes), the worse that humiliation is.

That's why there are fantasies (and acted out instances) of a wife cuckolding her wealthy, professional husband with Bubba the jock, the pool boy or the gardener. On the other hand, in balanced polyamorous relationships, partners tend to play with their equals.
Nov 2, 2016 Holmes commented on Savage Love.
@13 Most women are looking for "guys who look like they ‘kick ass and take names’"

The bigger they are, the hotter the cuckolding is. Speaking as an old, short, fat, balding guy who is often selected as the FWB partner, this seems to be the case. It's not as big a deal to cuck a spineless jellyfish.