Jun 14 delta35 commented on What We Find in Gay Bars and Queer Clubs.
beautifully written! thank you
Jun 14 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Get Out There and Fight.
@5 Dan and the SLOG commenters said it well two posts earlier, the Tuesday 10:22am post breaking the news on SLOG about this. Homophobia breeds misery. Religious intolerance and fundamentalism breeds homophobia. Mental instability exists everywhere. Add in homophobia, religious intolerance, mental instability, and easily available assault weapons, and you have regular tragedy. Sometimes gay-on-gay tragedy (if that turns out to be the case).

You can never eliminate tragedy but you can make it rare and smaller scale if you tackle all the multiple causes: more mental health services (including for those who perpetrate intimate partner violence), fewer guns, less homophobia, less religious fundamentalism (all types of religious fundamentalism), more love, more tolerance, more kindness, more protection of dignity.
Jun 14 delta35 commented on The Orlando Shooter Might Have Been a Twisted Closet Case.
Sad thing is of course the religious extremists of all types like this outcome. They already kick their LGBT kids out on the streets, disown them. So when they drive their own to killing other LGBT people, it just plays into their desire to damn us all to hell.
Jun 14 delta35 commented on The Orlando Shooter Might Have Been a Twisted Closet Case.
Dan makes excellent points, and @1, also excellent points. If only the mainstream media started reporting on this: fundamentalist extremism in most major religions (maybe Buddhism excluded) encourages self-hatred about all manner of things sexual, including hatred of women / denigration of women. Mental illness exists across all cultures even if there were no ideological nutcases spewing hate. Add in weapons and you get what we see. Could be mostly prevented or at least greatly minimized with gun control -- mass stabbing rarely result in many deaths, Norway's one case of Anders Breivik was much more rare than in the USA.
May 26 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Help Me Out, Sloggers.
and friends friends becomes relationships sometimes!

and for Ellis, here's the tl;dr version
http://practicalsavvy.com/2012/08/08/how…
May 26 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Help Me Out, Sloggers.
and for friends friends (not relationships) try meetup for stuff that interests you. and read Albert Ellis' book from the 1960s / 1970s on overcoming shyness: just walk up to people and start talking.
May 26 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Help Me Out, Sloggers.
Same advice as for older people: apps are for hookups, web sites like plenty of fish, ok cupid more for relationships. And very time consuming, might be dozens or hundreds of contacts before you find make a genuine connection. And if you're female and just want to hook up and the apps are not working for you in a major city, something's up. Join a charity / volunteer / political organization (especially election season lots of people there) reach out make friends and get their input. Good luck!
May 8 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Bonus Advice for WWWM & VIRGN.
@16 there's a silly gay spoof of American Pie where a guy is trying unsuccessfully to lose his ass (receptive) virginity. in the 80s I had some friends who said you have 2 virginities - first w other sex first w same sex -- not just PiV but also Pi[your]Ass :)
May 3 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Soft Serve.
FLACCID this is why god invented Father's Little Helper. mother's little helper -- http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph… Can we all please start calling Viagra Cialis etc father's little helper :) but try it first in case you have unexpected side effects
Apr 26 delta35 commented on Study: Move to Big City Risky For Young Gay and Bi Men.
no need to wait for the after-party :)