Apr 22 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Kept in the Closet with Golden Handcuffs.
@8 +1. Dan's a bit privileged. Yes, things get better when you live the change you want to see.

But even 2 white guys in USA c. 2017 may face economic insecurity. Does hubby work in a business that sells to clients like Hobby Lobby? Think carefully!

Even Dr. John Fryer aka Dr. Anonymous was ANONYMOUS when he first came out, a watershed moment leading to homosexuality being removed as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association.

The early pioneers who were truly out and paved the way for a better world often were fully out because they had to be, very gender non-conforming, arrested, early HIV, etc.
Apr 19 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Mystery of the Buried Penis.
How uncomfortable? If it's just unfamiliar, then you won't have to fish it out in public and can leave it turtled. Think of it as a feature, not a bug: you kinda get to experience what it's like to have a foreskin (especially if you get the partial turtle effect).

If you do see a doc, spend some time on PubMed too. Science shows US docs are more likely to recommend surgery than docs in other countries for the same stuff. And Google side effects, down time from sex for wounds to heal. Even an honest doc in the USA is paid by the procedure most of the time. Those 600HP hand-finished BMW Alpina B7 xDrives aren't cheap!
Apr 19 delta35 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Open Relationships Can Work (But This One Doesn't).
Hi DTMFA, you're angry, I get it from your sign-off name, you were dumped and treated badly.

But you were together 8 years, you have a house together, the last 2.5 months have been shitty. What about the other 97% of your time together? Was it good? Was she good to you? You good to her?

Just saying, we also live in a culture where we default to a breakup = a relationship end, and she broke up with you. But sometimes people change their mind. If you can afford it, can you move out of the house now, and wait a bit to sell?

Maybe do a separation for 6 months then re-evaluate? Just a thought.

NYT has a great series on marriages that ended, and has folks look back years later. Many of the couples were glad it ended even though it was a challenge.

Some wish they had waited a bit, and tried getting together again later. Rushing into a divorce foreclosed that.

I know you're not married, but 8 years+house is kinda more than a casual fling, it (was) a life together. Just a contrarian thought that you might want to take a breather, get your own place if you can afford it, nurse your wounds, get out there and have some fun, and re-evaluate in a few months time. And +1 therapy a good idea.
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Apr 12 delta35 commented on Savage Love.
@38 myself, my comment on SHOTDOWN applies also to NAWT: someone can be adamant on monogamy at 18mos. in and might change later. Question is, do you both want to wait? Compatibility on decorating, finances, shared interests also important. Definitely wait on kids.
Apr 12 delta35 commented on Savage Love.
CAC: how can you read SL and still think anal=gay? Many gay/bi dudes do not like receptive anal. Many straight guys do.
Apr 12 delta35 commented on Savage Love.
@9 DonnyKlicious disagree about SHOTDOWN but agree older person unlikely to change.

I know someone kinky with partner vanilla, opened relationship to outsource kink. They say vanilla sex w/ partner still better than kinky w/ other people. Their partner initially very against opening but they're together 20+yrs.

YMMV but if you're really in love, maybe worth trying?

Other LW CAC is definitely bi and most likely will cheat cheating. Not a cool to unilaterally and secretly open a relationship. DL bi dudes are higher risk for STIs than open bi dudes! And not all Fs want MMF 3-way.

@1 typesoofastohmy#1hooray. :)
Apr 5 delta35 commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Hunger.
@2 I'm still lhere, nocutename, albeit infrequently.

And I now (usually) silently pronounce your screename correctly: no cute name!

Rather than noh-queue-tuh-na-MAY, which for some reason I always used see, till you politely corrected me one day. :)
Mar 26 delta35 commented on Two Openly Gay Candidates Are Running For Office Up In Anchorage—Or Is It Three? (UPDATE: It's Three.).
@4 Wandering Stars -- well written, evocative, as good as any byline'd essay in The Stranger. Incredible as an anonymous blog post! Thanks.
Mar 22 delta35 commented on FBI: Trump "Associates" Communicated With Russian Operatives.
Squirrel! (if a Disney film; if an episode of Homeland, this is time when Trump operatives orchestrate a domestic terrorist attack / war with foreign power)
Mar 22 delta35 commented on Trump Doesn't Give Two Shits About His Supporters (And Neither Should You).
@55 I'm engaging with you because you seem to understand the issues, as do many Nader / Stein / Green party voters (unlike Trump supporters), yet you come to a radical and dangerous conclusion.

I do not think Hilary would have started the Iraq war had she been President way back then -- she was a senator without access to the level of intelligence info a president has. We know from her pick in 2016 of a running mate that she would not, for example, have had a war monger like Cheney as her VP.

I agree with you, Hilary had flaws, and vote for who you like in the primary, but if you live in a swing state and vote 3rd party in any presidential election, you are willfully responsible for contributing to a very dangerous outcome. There are enormous policy differences between democrat and republican at the presidential level regardless of candidate, and that's been true for decades. And on every issue a Green party voter cares about, (D) is far better than (R) -- that's also true at the state and local level. (At the local level, elections are close enough one can make a case to vote third party regardless. But given reality, and supposedly Greens care about reality, once you get to the national level, no way.)
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