Jan 19 artdyke commented on Open Letter: Who Do I Have to Fuck to See a Donald Trump + Sarah Palin Porn Parody Already?.
What you need is about $1500 for talent fees. I'll tell you what we tell every other person who tries to tell us what to shoot: I'll shoot whatever you want to pay for, baby.
Dec 14, 2015 artdyke commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Boyfriend's Condition.
People who are mad about the word "crazy" can suck my dick.
Love, a crazy woman.
Jul 21, 2015 artdyke commented on Glasgow's Alt Pride Celebration Bans Drag Acts.
These conversations are never going to go anywhere until this vocal minority of self-righteous trans women recognize that there is a very important and overwhelming privilege that comes with being born male, whether you are trans or not, and that "cis" women (i hate that binary term) experience profound and unique oppression that a trans woman only begins to grasp unless she has the fortune of transitioning at an incredibly young age. Cis women have been fighting openly for over a hundred years now against a mind-bogglingly deep and all-encompassing oppression that we have been constantly belittled for calling out. For naming the unnamed. Part of the unnamed is that a lot of trans women, particularly those early in their transition, still REEK of male entitlement. You can't escape a childhood of being subtley treated by adults and society as superior to girls, subtley encouraged to speak out and take what you want while cis girls are subtley and not-so-subtley encouraged to sit down, shut up, and make peace... even if you know you're not really a boy and even if you experience the other, unique oppressions that go with being trans. Priveleges do NOT cancel each other out. (Intersectionality, anyone?) Until the trans community can get itself in order about the increasingly common bullying and silencing tactics (almost ALWAYS employed against "cis" women, not men, or perhaps men just don't put up with it) that those of us who have been fighting the patriarchy tooth and claw our WHOLE lives recognize all too well, then there will never be peace and understanding. And there will always be tension about including trans women in women-only spaces.

I am a transmasculine female but I still identify as a woman in large part precisely because of that shared socialization experience and oppression that most young trans women seem to grasp almost as poorly as the men. That's what "bonding over cisness" really means; it has very little to do with plumbing (although the actual possibility of pregnancy is nowhere near as trivial as some of the commenters here seem to think it is; it's certainly something that *terrifies* me in the far-too-likely event that I am raped).

Incedentally, I decided I'm going to attend MichFest this final year (something I'd never considered before precisely because of the trans exclusion issue) because, with or without trans inclusion, I have no idea where else I will be able to find an all-woman space like that and I want to experience it. It makes me sad that this issue couldn't have been resolved more productively. No one wins here.
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Apr 7, 2015 artdyke commented on Savage Love.
(I'm no expert, but I seriously doubt it)
Apr 7, 2015 artdyke commented on Savage Love.
Dan should have answered the actual question in the last one: can you catch anything from dirty panties? I have plenty of friends who sell such things and they really do wear em in, so to speak. Not always, but usually.
Dec 10, 2014 artdyke commented on Savage Love.
On the one hand I think it's great that people are talking about and questioning gender so much. That can only, in the end, be a good thing.



On the other, I see seeds of misogyny in how it plays out a lot of the time (as this seems to most often be female-bodied people abandoning the woman-identifying ship). OF COURSE you don't want to be a woman. Being a woman in this culture sucks. As a butch/genderqueer woman myself, I often say that if it weren't for feminism, I'd be some kind of trans. I didn't want to be like those icky girls into shallow things. But I learned early on that there was a battle going on in the world and, like it or not, as a "tomboy" I was on the bleeding edge of it. I found solace in my shared experiences with other women, even though I saw, and to a large extent still do, see myself as very different from most of them. We had a shared oppression growing up in this culture that deeply, deeply shaped us.



But rejecting "woman" as part of your identity doesn't solve any of that. If anything it further narrows the definition of what woman can be. I think a woman can be anything she wants to be, including manly as fuck. When I see anyone remotely gender-nonconforming calling themselves not-a-woman, over and over and over again, I am troubled by the impression it gives -- unintentionally I am sure -- that to not fit in society's mold of what a woman is is to not BE a woman. It says that if you feel x or y, then it's not just that "woman" contains multitudes, it's that you must not be one. It says a woman probably can't be x or y.



I also think that a lot of these people like to pretend they know more about gender and how it works than they do, and I find it infuriating, particularly when people act like there are cut and dried lines between their label and someone else's. NONE of us get it, ok? Everything is blurry! It's an extremely complex psycho-social phenomenon! And a whole, whole lot of it is learned (or intentional) performance, not some innate thing (although there is certainly something deeply innate at work, as PART of it). It's not a binary, but it's not a spectrum either with neatly delineated lines. That, too, is overly reductive.



Like Dan says, you can't pick any one person and be like "you're abandoning feminism and reinforcing essentialism, you gendertrender!" But as a PATTERN, I find it deeply troubling. And I think we can support people living with whatever gender identity makes them happy while still being cautious and self-examining about ways sexism might be at work sometimes.
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Sep 11, 2014 artdyke commented on SL Letter of the Day: You Can't Please Everybody.
You know, there's plenty of ways you can critique porn in general what with its limited roles, formulaic scripts, and gender essentialism. But those same criticisms are applicable to mainstream movies/tv/etc. I'm not saying that to mean those critiques shouldn't be made of porn; I just get profoundly irritated to see them made about porn as if it is any worse than mainstream entertainment in that regard. Often mainstream entertainment is FAR worse.
Sep 11, 2014 artdyke commented on SL Letter of the Day: Forever Grateful.
@9 I navigated an open relationship just fine at 18... I married that woman and, almost exactly 9 years later, I'm still with her (and have been with several others). :)
Sep 11, 2014 artdyke commented on SL Letter of the Day: Forever Grateful.
I think a lot of you are misreading Dan. He's saying that a little bit of "selfish and self-indulgent" behavior is a GOOD thing... provided it's tempered with consideration and compassion. Often what is, in fact, simply loving and taking care of yourself can be seen as selfish and self-indulgent. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

Many women have trouble prioritizing or standing up for their own wants and needs. A little bit of selfishness and self-indulgence is exactly what such women need to be happy and healthy.
Sep 9, 2014 artdyke commented on SL Letter of the Day: You Can't Please Everybody.
I am so goddamn sick of people acting like choosing to be a porn star is just the craziest idea and couldn't ever possibly be true. My wife is a porn star who traded in a full ride academic scholarship at one of the top science schools in the country to transfer to a prestigous film school bc she realized she didn't want to spend her life in a lab. After graduating and getting some experience in film, she chose --yes, actively chose-- to get into porn. She's an incredibly sexual person as well as a passionate filmmaker and storyteller so it really was her calling, and she wouldn't trade it for anything. Now she's got several directing credits under her belt while many of her peers are still PAing for minimum wage or moved back home to live with their parents and/or take menial office jobs.

I'm not saying every naive 18 year old that thinks they're gonna get rich is the same as my wife, but i am friends with many, many women in the porn industry and they are all very smart, capable, savvy business women who could easily have other careers if they wanted to, and many like my wife gave up other "more respectable" careers to persue porn because they love it. Great pay, low hours, hot sex... If you're sexually confident and can get beyond the shame from assholes like LW2, it can be a dream job!

Oh yeah, and we have two Feminist Porn Awards on our bookshelf. :p
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