Friendstastegood
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Dec 8, 2015 Friendstastegood commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Take a Trump.
@4 I agree on Trump and Kardashians, but with Daesh I doubt it, I mean, no one outside of Nigeria is giving two fucks about Boko Haram and they've basically got a country and an army at this point. Just because we don't hear about it doesn't mean they aren't slaughtering innocents by the thousand and capturing children by the hundreds to use as soldiers and suicide bombers.
Mar 1, 2015 Friendstastegood commented on Is King County About to Embarrass Seattle on Paid Parental Leave?.
To all persons in this comment thread who feel like paid parental leave will somehow make people have tons of poorly planned progeny - You are all idiots.

One thing we know about human civilizations is that when the standard of living goes up, fertility rates go down. You want people to stop having unplanned or poorly planned children? Easy: make comprehensive sex education mandatory, offer free access to abortion (free not only as in regulation but also as in money), subsidize higher education so that poor people can afford it and make sure everyone gets paid a living wage for all jobs and forms of employment. Poor people will be less poor, crime rates will go down and they will have fewer children. It's a win for all but we all know that 'Murika would rather continue to punch itself repeatedly in the nose and complain when it hurts rather than fix the problem.
Jan 27, 2015 Friendstastegood commented on SL Letter of the Day: My Husband Just Came Out as Trans.
@46 I have to weigh in here, as a bisexual person who is attracted to many different genders. Just to explain the terms Bi and Pan from my perspective, and why I feel Bi suits me better than Pan:

The bisexual definition, as employed by most major organisations for and by bisexuals, is "attraction to the same/similar gender/s and different genders", which works well in relationship to homosexual - "attraction to the same/similar gender/s" and heterosexual "attraction to different gender/s". This is what I feel.

Pansexual however is most often described as "attraction to all genders" or "attraction in spite of gender/without gender", and I fit neither of those. I am attracted to many but not all genders, and gender certainly factors in to my attraction to someone, ie. if I am attracted to a woman I am attracted to her specifically as a woman, not regardless of whether she is a woman or not.

So that's my two cents on Bisexual vs. Pansexual.

As to what LW should identify as, I think she can, if she wishes, stay in this relationship and have it be sexual or not, and still identify as Straight. Because regardless of whether she ever feels attracted to her now wife again, she will probably never feel attracted to her wife specifically as a woman. It's possible to have a fulfilling romantic and sexual relationship with someone without feeling sexually attracted to them. Many asexual people have just that (asexual refers to a lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of libido and/or inability to enjoy the emotional and physical aspects of sex).
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Jan 2, 2015 Friendstastegood commented on Savage Love.
@seandr: As a swedish person, and a feminist, I would like to inform you that Feminism is a broad collection of movements and ideas and it's not hard to find opposing opinions among feminists. Yes, there are some feminists who think this law is a good thing, there are also other feminists, like myself, who have many issues with it.

I think it robs women of their agency and I think it's appalling that every study conducted by the government on the effects of the law have refused to hear the opinions of the sex-workers the law is supposedly trying to protect.

That doesn't make me any less feminist than someone who thinks the law is great, nor them any less feminist than me.

Do you expect every person in a political party to agree with every other person in that party on every single issue? Because feminism as a whole is a lot less cohesive than a political party because feminism is the struggle towards a singular goal, equality. But there are as many opinions on what way to get there as there are feminists.
Dec 24, 2014 Friendstastegood commented on Savage Love.
Psychopath is not a clinical term, there is no scale to be on. The term has been abandoned by professionals because it's so misunderstood and misused by the public. Instead they invented the term sociopath which has since also been abandoned for similar reasons. This actually happens quite a lot in psychology, the terminology is updated a lot more frequently than in most other sciences because everyone who isn't a psychologist keeps using it to try and sound smarter than they are.

What LW3 probably means is that he believes himself to have some form of personality disorder. Having a personality disorder doesn't make you Hannibal Lecter, most people with personality disorders live perfectly normal lives, and it's all always on a spectrum, but the key to finding a healthy relationship with himself (and thus a healthy relationship to others) starts by getting diagnosed. Illnesses of the mind are just like illnesses of the body, you need to know what you have in order to know how to treat it.

AAA: find a psychologist or psychiatrist that you can trust, you don't have to believe they are smarter than you, you just need to find someone you feel is competent and knowledgeable enough to help you. Then find whatever form of therapy or medication best helps YOU, and don't be afraid to try things that may not work.
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Aug 23, 2014 Friendstastegood commented on Stanford Student Compares Rape to Bicycle Theft.
You know what? All you people who say you don't know anyone who would rape a woman, odds are you know men, more than one, who actually have raped one or more women, that's just a statistical fact. So no, it is not pointless to tell all of you to keep reinforcing the idea that rape in never OK and never ever the woman's fault because you all know men who think the opposite. Your are all the kind of naive, enabling idiots who are the real problem in this world, you're the reason rapists get away with it.

Let me tell you a story, a true story, my cousin is currently serving time in prison for multiple rapes, attempted rapes and assault. No one knew, except his step-mother who figured it out and called the police. He confessed and there is no doubt that he did it. After he was locked up and going through trial (not to determine whether he did it but whether some of the crimes where aggravated or not) it was all over the news and there was an outpouring of rage and anger over the crimes he had committed. That anger was in large part NOT directed at him, but at his female relatives, his sisters, my sisters. People who were angry that my cousin raped women were threatening to rape his sisters to get back at him, after all, his crimes where their fault in the minds of all these men, all these strangers. So pervasive is the idea in western culture that rape is to blame on women that when you can't possibly blame the victims, you blame other women instead of the guy who did it.
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Jul 30, 2014 Friendstastegood commented on Savage Love.
@vennominon I see what you're saying and yes, I did find Dan's advice to be a bit iffy, but I also think that biphobia is today much more ubiquitous than homophobia and that many people who are not particularly homophobic are very biphobic, and that the message Dan was going for was not so much "it's not ok to be gay" as it was "it's totally fine to be bi" but as you pointed out, the phrasing can really go both ways with a statement like that.

For me personally though, it's just nice to see someone for once hammer home the possibility that maybe this guy is sleeping with both men and women because he's bi, not conflicted or a closet gay person or going through a phase or whatever. Bisexual isn't a dirty word but sometimes that's how it seems given how much people avoid saying it.
Jul 30, 2014 Friendstastegood commented on Savage Love.
@9 Please see the link below regarding bisexuality/pansexuality

http://fandomsandfeminism.tumblr.com/pos…

As for Dan encouraging BESTS to refer to the sex he's having with his drunk BFF as "bi-sex" seems a lot less like homophobia and a lot more like combating the BFF's own internalized biphobia.

If you're a guy in today's society you can only be gay or straight and if you fuck other dudes, regardless of how many girls you enthusiastically doink, you are gay. Which means that the guy who needs to get drunk to indulge his desire to have sex with other guys is probably going through a crisis of identity, because he likes girls but by the standards of society his actions mark him as gay, which he isn't. Bisexuality is so marginalized and erased in our culture and even in LGBT-circles and communities, that identifying as bisexual doesn't even occur to some people who actually are just that. If the BFF can realise that he is indeed bisexual and accept that he probably won't need to get drunk to have sex with guys and his liver will undoubtedly thank him.
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Feb 20, 2014 Friendstastegood commented on A Minimum-Wage Mom's Story.
Some of the people in this thread.. I really can't wrap my head around that way of thinking. You live in a society where the media tells girls and women that their only worth is in whatever sexual appreciation they can get from the opposite sex, where the politicians constantly find new ways to limit the access to contraceptives, abortion and sex education and increase the stigma attached to those things and then when young women end up becoming young mothers, which severely limits their options and ability to move up on the socioeconomic ladder, it's their own fault. Really?
Jan 4, 2014 Friendstastegood commented on Don't Worry, They Hired a Black Lady.
I realise that is is probably going to come of as extremely offensive but sometimes I can't help myself so I just have to say: In what universe is the woman in that picture in the bio considered black? Seriously. You have the exact same melanin level, hair and eye colour as my younger sister and she's whiter than french bread.