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Friendstastegood
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Aug 23 Friendstastegood commented on Stanford Student Compares Rape to Bicycle Theft.
You know what? All you people who say you don't know anyone who would rape a woman, odds are you know men, more than one, who actually have raped one or more women, that's just a statistical fact. So no, it is not pointless to tell all of you to keep reinforcing the idea that rape in never OK and never ever the woman's fault because you all know men who think the opposite. Your are all the kind of naive, enabling idiots who are the real problem in this world, you're the reason rapists get away with it.

Let me tell you a story, a true story, my cousin is currently serving time in prison for multiple rapes, attempted rapes and assault. No one knew, except his step-mother who figured it out and called the police. He confessed and there is no doubt that he did it. After he was locked up and going through trial (not to determine whether he did it but whether some of the crimes where aggravated or not) it was all over the news and there was an outpouring of rage and anger over the crimes he had committed. That anger was in large part NOT directed at him, but at his female relatives, his sisters, my sisters. People who were angry that my cousin raped women were threatening to rape his sisters to get back at him, after all, his crimes where their fault in the minds of all these men, all these strangers. So pervasive is the idea in western culture that rape is to blame on women that when you can't possibly blame the victims, you blame other women instead of the guy who did it.
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Jul 30 Friendstastegood commented on Savage Love.
@vennominon I see what you're saying and yes, I did find Dan's advice to be a bit iffy, but I also think that biphobia is today much more ubiquitous than homophobia and that many people who are not particularly homophobic are very biphobic, and that the message Dan was going for was not so much "it's not ok to be gay" as it was "it's totally fine to be bi" but as you pointed out, the phrasing can really go both ways with a statement like that.

For me personally though, it's just nice to see someone for once hammer home the possibility that maybe this guy is sleeping with both men and women because he's bi, not conflicted or a closet gay person or going through a phase or whatever. Bisexual isn't a dirty word but sometimes that's how it seems given how much people avoid saying it.
Jul 30 Friendstastegood commented on Savage Love.
@9 Please see the link below regarding bisexuality/pansexuality

http://fandomsandfeminism.tumblr.com/pos…

As for Dan encouraging BESTS to refer to the sex he's having with his drunk BFF as "bi-sex" seems a lot less like homophobia and a lot more like combating the BFF's own internalized biphobia.

If you're a guy in today's society you can only be gay or straight and if you fuck other dudes, regardless of how many girls you enthusiastically doink, you are gay. Which means that the guy who needs to get drunk to indulge his desire to have sex with other guys is probably going through a crisis of identity, because he likes girls but by the standards of society his actions mark him as gay, which he isn't. Bisexuality is so marginalized and erased in our culture and even in LGBT-circles and communities, that identifying as bisexual doesn't even occur to some people who actually are just that. If the BFF can realise that he is indeed bisexual and accept that he probably won't need to get drunk to have sex with guys and his liver will undoubtedly thank him.
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Feb 20 Friendstastegood commented on A Minimum-Wage Mom's Story.
Some of the people in this thread.. I really can't wrap my head around that way of thinking. You live in a society where the media tells girls and women that their only worth is in whatever sexual appreciation they can get from the opposite sex, where the politicians constantly find new ways to limit the access to contraceptives, abortion and sex education and increase the stigma attached to those things and then when young women end up becoming young mothers, which severely limits their options and ability to move up on the socioeconomic ladder, it's their own fault. Really?
Jan 4 Friendstastegood commented on Don't Worry, They Hired a Black Lady.
I realise that is is probably going to come of as extremely offensive but sometimes I can't help myself so I just have to say: In what universe is the woman in that picture in the bio considered black? Seriously. You have the exact same melanin level, hair and eye colour as my younger sister and she's whiter than french bread.
Dec 23, 2013 Friendstastegood commented on Savage Love.
@1 Have you tried a real vibrator? As in a Magic Wand or equivalent vibrator that is powerful enough to not just tickle? Also, don't be afraid to apply a lot of pressure, a good quality vibrator can take it and giving more deep tissue stimulation will probably help.
Dec 19, 2013 Friendstastegood commented on Kshama Sawant Launching 15Now.org To Increase Minimum Wage.
You know, "no federal minimum wage" doesn't necessarily mean cheap labour. I live in Sweden, we have no federal minimum wage, there is absolutely no law requiring you to pay your workers any amount of money. I work as unqualified labour at a callcenter, most of my co-workers were hired straight out of upper secondary school (rough equivalent of high school). I make $16 an hour. I also get paid extra for late nights and weekends, and even more on holidays. I get paid sick leave and paid vacations and paid maternity leave for up to 9 months after which the father of the child will get 3 months paid paternity leave.

Sweden is also one of the countries in Europe that came out the strongest after the crises. Better than France or Britain. Despite being a small country that's ludicrously dependent on other nations for its economy.

Dec 4, 2013 Friendstastegood commented on You Get a Hymen! You Get a Hymen! Everybody Gets a Hymen!.
I feel I need to brake the terrible new to a lot of you and most of the world:

If you are doing sex right, even if she is a virgin, in 99% of cases, there will NOT be any bleeding or more than slight discomfort. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable, and that includes the first time you have it.
Nov 15, 2013 Friendstastegood commented on SL Letter of the Day: Over & Out.
When I was 11 or so, I begged my dad to divorce my mom, he didn't, because he was worried that my older sister (who according to Swedish law was old enough to decide for herself) would choose to live with my alcoholic and emotionally (and rarely physically) abusive mother.

I think both side of this debate (pro and con divorce) need to acknowledge that in a bad situation, there often isn't really an unambiguously right thing to do. I know that my life sucked because my dad didn't leave my mom, and I know that my older sister may have been worse off if he had left, or it might not have, and my life might have sucked either way. In the end, the problem was not the divorce or lack thereof. I almost never is.
Sep 18, 2013 Friendstastegood commented on "He’s a man who likes men who were once women.".
@19: I can understand that, I really can actually, because at one point I felt that way too (and I don't mean that in a patronizing "one day you will see it differently" way, I just mean I can see where you are coming from) and I was more addressing the question of people who want to dictate to others who they should or should not sleep with and what (and who) they get to identify as, when it really isn't any of their business at all.

I'm not going to judge anyone who doesn't personally want to sleep with trans people, we all get to decide for ourselves who we will and won't sleep with, but if you are not sleeping with someone, and are not going to sleep with that person, then their genitalia is absolutely none of your business and you do not get to decide what gender or sexuality they or their partners identify as.
 
 

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