Achieve the Four Modernizations.

auntie grizelda
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Sep 13 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@165 LavaGirl: Bless you. Agreed; that is exactly the direction where I am going, and in the continued pursuit of my own life, liberty, passion and happiness.
When it comes to blood family I focus on my beloved parents instead, and turn to them spiritually for guidance (both went too soon from Parkinson's).

I do keep in touch with my lovely oldest niece, oldest nephew, and his son, my great-nephew--at least through emails / Facebook. I guess it's the new age of texting; my nieces and nephews don't use cell phones anymore.

Sep 13 auntie grizelda commented on Why Flashdance Is So Different from Saturday Night Fever.
Oh, wow. Thank you, Charles Mudede! This is really telling the 70's and 80's like they really were.

Oh, what a feeling!
Sep 13 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@162 Alison Cummins: O-o-o-kay, but that's easier said than done for me.
Sep 13 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@161: Don't anyone feel the least bit sorry for me, either, regarding my chosen parting of ways with my sibs. Pity my nieces and nephews instead, who have to put up with their parents. My payback in the balance is in hearing about my sibs' and their spouses' ongoing self-induced difficulty with facing their grown children nowadays as adults, and it's coming back to haunt them (i.e.: my oldest sis is currently lamenting the "loss of [her] childhood"--translated: she can't shamefully drag her youngest sibling around on a leash anymore).
Oh, well. In other news......
Sep 13 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@156 & @158 LavaGirl: Wow. I wish I could have been blessed with someone as understanding, empathetic and supportive like YOU as a sister, instead of any of my unappreciative older sisters, brother, and their spouses (all within your age group by a year or two).
When they weren't ignoring me, my siblings cruelly enjoyed snubbing, shifting the blame, dumping endless unwanted babysitting, caregiving, and household chores on me, all the while berating me just to make themselves feel better (only a minimum of bitterness here; I'm not crying victim but just stating unfortunate and unchangeable facts over a span of fifty years. This is mainly why I avoid my sibs altogether; it's infinitely healthier for me not to deal with 'em).
Ironically, my same dictatorial oldest sister and self-aggrandized sis-in-law appear hurt and disappointed by my not attending family reunions these past few summers. I'm settling back and just letting them figure that one out. Anyway, enough of that.

Thank you, too, for the movie recommendations. "The Private Lives of Pippa Lee" sounds really good! I like your idea of hanging out with fellow musicians. With me though, as for budding romances and whether it's real or I'm just imagining it, the only guys out looking for company either seem too young, too old, or are really not into someone like me. I didn't get asked out much in high school or college, and learned very early on in life how to amuse myself, so maybe that's a big part of it.

Sep 12 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@148 LavaGirl: I am wondering about two things: a) I have simply gotten used to my self-induced long-term celibacy, and b) if psychologically this means I am secretly afraid to leave what has become a comfort zone from living single and loving my freedom.

Sep 12 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@151 Philophile: Thank you for sharing the helpful scarleteen info links.

Interesting that you mentioned experimenting with a dildo. I have actually been entertaining the idea of getting one lately, and rediscovering what works for me might do the trick to rekindle a few sparks.
I'm not so sure about jacking off with a near stranger, though.
Sep 12 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@147 nocutename: I'm feeling exactly like your friend who is wondering if she should be more sexually aroused than she currently is, and if she should feel guilty over her acceptance of sexual inactivity.
I guess my biggest question is: will I miss NOT having sex ever again?
I'm not out looking for love.

I don't consider myself damaged goods, exactly, however Wile E. Coyote quirky I am, idiosyncrasies and all (Hooooooooo-boy, you should have all seen me back in 2001; I was a REAL neo-maxi-zoom-dingbat* back THEN, haunted by a shitload of white noise to shake off!).

*Thank you, writer & director John Hughes and actor Judd Nelson, from "The Breakfast Club", for my borrowed use of a John Bender comment made, with "dingbat" substituted for "dweebie".
Sep 12 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@142 & @143 LavaGirl: Thank you for the suggestions. I'd like to see "Blue is the Warmest Colour". I guess for a long time by working on my own health and healing, I have fallen out of touch--in more ways than one.

@144 nocutename: Thank you, too, for your helpful suggestions. While I enjoy watching Brad Pitt go as "J.D." from Thelma & Louise, I agree. *sigh*
It sounds like dropping levels of estrogen. My gynecologist also has me on increased progesterone nightly, too.

I have also ended long-standing toxic relationships with my sibs, their spouses, and other relatives recently. 2013 and 2014 have been two consecutive years for me to chuck a lot of excess garbage from my life.

I have tried masturbation, and maybe it's because I need more lube, but otherwise I'm feeling next to nothing sexually, anymore. I can't just go to bed anonymously with someone; call me a prude, but I have never felt comfortable with casual, random sex.
Sep 12 auntie grizelda commented on Savage Love.
@139: LavaGirl: Forgive my wrong choice of words--sorry. Yes, I meant my being celibate for almost 14 years. This has been after leaving an abusive spouse and dangerous domestic situation.
I recently had an outpatient surgical procedure that corrected an ongoing uterine problem i'd had since adolescence. While I'm delighted as well as relieved by the overall results, it feels like nothing stimulates me anymore (I'm still very tender inside).
Is this new vaginal numbness medically normal, or just something typically premenopausal? I just turned 50.

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