Achieve the Four Modernizations.

MGroesbeck
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Feb 12, 2013 MGroesbeck commented on Savage Love.
I have a possible suggestion that I'd like to run by the Savage Love commentariat to see whether it might be a good idea:

DUD might consider taking on some volunteer work through a local LGBT group/center/etc., pushing for equality, and tell his quite-possibly-gay son that equality is something he values strongly. Yes, the archetypal "PFLAG parent" can be a bit of an embarrassment to the archetypal queer teen -- but it's a embarrassment that combines the obligatory teen attitude towards parents with an undercurrent of genuine pride and acceptance. Getting involved with a pro-LGBT campaign would be an education that DUD may need if he wants to keep on being a better-than-most parent, a sign to the gay son he might have that it's OK to come out, and an indication to the straight son he might have that homophobia is not OK, etc. It's a win for all parties involved.
Mar 7, 2012 MGroesbeck commented on Savage Love.
@2 --

IIRC, castration actually has very little productive effect (where "productive" is defined as "making the person in question less likely to molest children"). At the moment, the best option even for the ideal case (i.e. a pedophile who recognizes that sexual attraction to children is a problem and shouldn't be acted on, and who's willing to seek therapy to resolve those problems or, failing that, at least develop strategies to avoid acting on pedophilic urges, e.g. CWIA) is less than ideal -- it's about finding strategies of therapy to prevent potential offenders from becoming actual offenders. We don't have a cure yet -- but it looks like therapy and coaching are currently more effective than castration at preventing a shift to "actual offender" status. (And for any aspiring psychologists who are reading -- if you can, in the course of your research and/or clinical career, find a reliable way to keep potential child molesters from becoming actual child molesters, you'll be providing a great service to humanity. Just saying.)
Feb 28, 2012 MGroesbeck commented on Savage Love.
@9 --

Now that you put it that way, I can see how it's problematic. If it helps -- I read it first as not entirely aimed at the husband, but at other people who might be tempted to pull the same POS move. It's "you, motherfucker, could have gotten what you want, but you fucked it up by being a POS" -- which doesn't change the fact that the motherfucker has been a POS (and the recommendation that he immediately start respecting his wife, who was not a POS and has done nothing wrong and thus doesn't need to be told what to do differently), but might serve as an object lesson in turning other potential POSes away from POShood. That said -- yeah, the focus on the stupid motherfucker rather than the injured party is a mistake.
Aug 2, 2011 MGroesbeck commented on Savage Love.
I'm jealous...I want to be denounced by the GOP too!
Jun 8, 2011 MGroesbeck commented on Savage Love.
@ 5 -- That comic is adorable. And yeah, I'm a cis gay guy who has dated trans men; there are at least some of us who just don't see it as a big deal.

@ 26 -- You clearly haven't talked to some of my female friends. True, most of my female friends don't want to see random cock shots, but neither do most of my (mostly flaming-as-hell) male friends. The exceptions, though, are enough for me to be more than skeptical about your generalizations. Are you trying to erase the women who do like cock shots, or is that just a side-effect of your gender-essentialist bullshit?
Oct 20, 2010 MGroesbeck commented on Savage Love.
I'd tend to get behind the two main "practical" points of the advice to PTSD -- 1) get therapy so you can start getting to a place where that horrible experience won't control you, and 2) at least consider putting the sexual relationship with the BF on hold while starting to pursue #1. OTOH, I just can't get behind the tone of Dan's response -- dude, deal with the trauma first, *then* start sorting out everyone else's reaction to the traumatized person's experience.

As for SUB -- if he were gay, I'd be all over that. I know I can't be the only dom who finds sub professionals hot, if for no other reason than professionals having such disproportionate social power these days. (If SUB has a certain amount of social power and SUB's dom exerts total control over SUB...well, you see how it works.) There are definitely women who are looking for someone just like him.
Jul 6, 2010 MGroesbeck commented on Dan Savage.
Evo-psych, Dan? Really? And not only that, someone with no academic background in either anthropology or paleontology (the two relevant fields for someone making claims about early humans), who shows all signs of starting with a model of contemporary human sexuality and then projecting that onto a model of early humans custom-tailored to "prove" the model used to generate it? Now, it's certainly possible to consider evolutionary pressures in developing human psychology and sexuality. But doing so would require sorting out how much genetic tendencies influence behavior (evidence-based work) rather than just insisting that whatever behaviors a given evo-psych "researcher" wants to be "inherent" must be.
May 5, 2009 MGroesbeck commented on Savage Love.
So basically, you're telling SMS to behave exactly like my mother. (Or at least, to behave exactly like my mother would have if I'd come out to her at that age -- since, as I discovered when I *did* come out to the family at 19, she'd suspected since I was 5 and was just waiting for me to tell her.)

(And no, I'm not gloating about my *fabulous* gay-supportive mother. Who now works as a psychologist who specializes in giving parents of LGBT people the same advice you give to SMS, at greater length.)

(OK, maybe I *am* gloating. Just a bit.)

(Or a lot.)
 

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