Jan 25, 2015 E_Mur commented on Episode Two of The Nightly Show.
This video autoplays every time I view the blog. That's annoying.
Jan 22, 2015 E_Mur commented on SL Letter of the Day: Closure.

>Why should she even have to forgive herself? Forgive for what? She did nothing wrong.

That's exactly my point. My take is that the root of her issue is that she feels guilt or regret about her lack of agency in the situation, and that she's projecting that outwards. She should (1) accept that her bad feelings have more to do with how she interprets her own actions than his, and (2) recognize that her own actions weren't wrong and that she shouldn't feel guilty about it.

Caveat: this is all dimestore psychoanalysis based on one letter, and should be treated as such.
Jan 22, 2015 E_Mur commented on SL Letter of the Day: Closure.
My take? She's traumatized and hurt, but not because he did anything outside what can be expected of a 14-year-old, but rather because she ended up feeling powerless and she's disappointed in herself for failing to advocate for herself.

The idea that a 14-year-old boy is going to have the language and maturity to ask for explicit consent during one of his first awkward and fumbling sexual encounters is not really reasonable... just as it's not reasonable to blame her for failing to explicitly outline what her boundaries were. So her pain is certainly valid; she had a sexual experience that she later regretted, and that's unfortunate. But she needs to forgive herself for failing to exercise her agency rather than blaming him.
May 13, 2014 E_Mur commented on An Important Reminder From a Listener.
Straight sub girls are not the ones for whom this is an issue.
Feb 6, 2014 E_Mur commented on Ever Wonder Why Subway Sandwiches Taste Like Yoga Mats?.
@19 @21 Proofing is rising; usually the final rise before baking. That's why the baskets you form the loaves in are called "proofing baskets".
May 17, 2013 E_Mur commented on New Gun Enthusiast....
I have multiple guns in my house (for hunting). Not one of them has ever, ever been loaded in the house. Ever. There is zero reason to put ammunition in a gun unless you have a reasonable expectation that you're going to want to fire it soon in the location you're in.

People are morons.
May 2, 2013 E_Mur commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mr. Wonderful.
Jesus. That was depressing.

Lady, if you're reading this: for better or for worse, right now, the drinking is part of him. You can't cordon it off and say "what happens then doesn't count". Dump him.

Maybe - MAYBE - if he quits drinking, you could take him back. But he probably won't.

Ugh. All my problems look small now, but at the same time hers are so easily solved. DTMFA.
Jan 31, 2013 E_Mur commented on The Problem with Polynormativity.
Wow, there's a lot to hate in that column.
Jan 31, 2013 E_Mur joined My Stranger Face