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Dec 25, 2015 Brie commented on Savage Love.
Another option for the subble: the female condom! It will cover the entrance to the vagina, and act as a barrier to the stubble.
Jul 18, 2015 Brie commented on Savage Love Letters of the Day: Three Pack.
I want to say this in defense of Recon guy. How would it be clear to him WHY the letter writer didn't want to be marked? If you don't know that he's trying to hide this activity from a partner, there's absolutely no reason to think that shaving hair is even close to limit pushing. Shaving hair doesn't hurt. It *doesn't* leave a mark. It's not even close to permanent. It'll all grow back.

The letter writer never mentions if the *told* the Recon guy that he was cheating on his boyfriend. I'm betting he didn't. And without that bit of information, I don't think he screwed up that badly.
Apr 27, 2015 Brie commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Photo Play.
The thing is, the dildo wasn't "their" sex toy. It was HER sex toy. There's no way it was appropriate for him to lend out her dildo, any more than if a friend and stopped by and used it without asking. Married or not, some things are not "shared" property.

Also, I get Dan's point at the end, that he's coming around to being flexible on monogamy, so maybe it's a good thing. But I bet you dollars to donuts that this new found flexibility doesn't extend both ways, regardless of what he says.
Apr 2, 2015 Brie commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Secret to Success.
Maybe reading Mating in Captivity would help start a discussion?
Aug 15, 2014 Brie commented on SL Letter of the Day: Truly, Madly, Fairly.
I just wanted to add that a "feeldoe" is a great dildo for a vagina owner to wear while penetrating their partner. Instead of being strapped on, part of the dildo goes into the vagina. The other part sticks out like a penis.

I won't touch the relationship advice stuff, as Dan has already handled it.
Aug 15, 2014 Brie commented on SL Letter of the Day: Potential Murder, She Wrote.
Spot on advice from Dan.
Apr 14, 2014 Brie commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Ex Files.
Speaking as somebody with anxiety issues, I know the letter writer isn't holding on to her neuroses for fun. Nobody does, umnless theyre faking it.What she needs is a therapist who will help her dvelop tools to overcome her anxieties.
Jan 8, 2014 Brie commented on Savage Love.
I'm glad gender roles were brought into this discussion, because that's a needed conversation.

She is the one feeling helpless. There is empowerment in declaring your desires openly. It is incredibly powerful to say "This is the kind of relationship I want with you. Please let me know ife you feel the same way."

When faced with a direct question, a person thinks about something in a different way. If my friend comes upto me and says "Hey, anytime you want to invite me to a picnic, I'm game" it might well inspire me to have a picnic and invite the friend. I'd likely take my time, simply because picnics are not my priority. If my friend says "Picnic on the 17th, are you in?" I have to think about it in a much more immediate way.
Oct 8, 2013 Brie commented on SLLOTD: Maladjusted Shits.
Sexual exclusivity is NOT the only definition of monogamy. For example, Dan and his husband are romantically monogamous. They've had threesomes, but only have an emotionally intimate, committed, romantic relationship with each other.
Apr 15, 2013 Brie commented on SL Letter of the Day: Sisters & Slaves.
I actually can see a completely alternate interpretation of the situation compared to Dan. There isn't enough information about what exactly is going on. The letter writer uses the term "humiliate" to describe the sister's interaction with her slave, but that could just be her interpretation. As far as we know, the sister and her submissive guy may be having completely mundane interractions, but simply with one of them in charge. Maybe she says to him "it's time for you to make dinner" instead of asking "do you mind making dinner while I catch up with the girls?" That's not a sexual thing, nor is is humilating or degrading in any way.