TMI
- God is: Ticklish
Apr 15
Brie commented on SL Letter of the Day: Sisters & Slaves.
I actually can see a completely alternate interpretation of the situation compared to Dan. There isn't enough information about what exactly is going on. The letter writer uses the term "humiliate" to describe the sister's interaction with her slave, but that could just be her interpretation. As far as we know, the sister and her submissive guy may be having completely mundane interractions, but simply with one of them in charge. Maybe she says to him "it's time for you to make dinner" instead of asking "do you mind making dinner while I catch up with the girls?" That's not a sexual thing, nor is is humilating or degrading in any way.
Apr 3
Brie commented on Savage Love Episode 336.
About the black out druck girl, I don't disagree with Dan, but he's missing one point.
I think her biggest mistake that night was getting so completely drunk in the first place. The fact is, once you've lost control of yourself, chances of being a complete asshole have increased a thousandfold. If Dan Savage or maybe myself were to get black out drunk, who knows if we might not end up doing something that our thinking minds and our consciences would be aghast at. The simple answer is that, if you drink for pleasure, don't do it to get smashed. You can nurse a buzz for hours. You're less likely to regret it.
I'm a little surprised that the people she was with didn't try to stop her drinking. But maybe they were drunk too? Personally, if I saw somebody completely losing control of themselves, I would try to stop them from hurting themselves.Not trying to blame the victim here. The other girl was not responsible for the caller. But it does seem that this whole scenario would have been avoided if getting shit-faced wasn't considered a regular way to socialize in North America. (I've noticed that in the UK people can spend a lot of time in a pub with buddies, but they just sip away at their drinks instead of gulping it all down.)
I think the caller was a total asshole, but I tend to be a little more lenient towards her for being an asshole, and a whole heck of a lot harsher on her for getting to the point where she lost all her inhibitions. Those inhibitions would likely have kept her selfishness at bay, and allowed her to pick up on the social cues that she was being wildly inappropriate.
In my eyes she *could* have redeemed herself if she had apologised sincerely and withour reservation. And then promised to NEVER get blackout drunk again in her life. Unfortunately, she chose to, in her sober state, subtely endorse the hurtful behaviour she had engaged in while drunk. Her apology won't be sincere until she admits that the behaviour described was inappropriate.
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I think her biggest mistake that night was getting so completely drunk in the first place. The fact is, once you've lost control of yourself, chances of being a complete asshole have increased a thousandfold. If Dan Savage or maybe myself were to get black out drunk, who knows if we might not end up doing something that our thinking minds and our consciences would be aghast at. The simple answer is that, if you drink for pleasure, don't do it to get smashed. You can nurse a buzz for hours. You're less likely to regret it.
I'm a little surprised that the people she was with didn't try to stop her drinking. But maybe they were drunk too? Personally, if I saw somebody completely losing control of themselves, I would try to stop them from hurting themselves.Not trying to blame the victim here. The other girl was not responsible for the caller. But it does seem that this whole scenario would have been avoided if getting shit-faced wasn't considered a regular way to socialize in North America. (I've noticed that in the UK people can spend a lot of time in a pub with buddies, but they just sip away at their drinks instead of gulping it all down.)
I think the caller was a total asshole, but I tend to be a little more lenient towards her for being an asshole, and a whole heck of a lot harsher on her for getting to the point where she lost all her inhibitions. Those inhibitions would likely have kept her selfishness at bay, and allowed her to pick up on the social cues that she was being wildly inappropriate.
In my eyes she *could* have redeemed herself if she had apologised sincerely and withour reservation. And then promised to NEVER get blackout drunk again in her life. Unfortunately, she chose to, in her sober state, subtely endorse the hurtful behaviour she had engaged in while drunk. Her apology won't be sincere until she admits that the behaviour described was inappropriate.
Mar 31
Brie commented on SL Letter of the Day: Label Me.
It starts to wear thin when Dan thinks ALL kinks are about power play and humiliation. Yes, many people are wired towards power play but not everybody is. Sometimes a kink is a kink in its own right. Dan once had a woman on his podcast who got off on long words because she used to read the dictionary and masturbate at the same time at an impressionable age... People have fetishes for inanimate objects and all kinds of things that have nothing to do with power.
It could be that the letter writer enjoys masturbating so much, that it enhances the sexual energy to so see somebody appreciate his enjoyment. It could be that he simply likes having somebody he's attracted to near by, even if he doesn't want to focus on pleasuring the other person at the moment.
I ldo ike the dom/sub stuff myself so I understand the temptation to view everything through that filter. However, it's an asshole move to tell somebody else what their fetish is. It's like me telling Dan that he really does love pussy but in a very subtle way. :P
It could be that the letter writer enjoys masturbating so much, that it enhances the sexual energy to so see somebody appreciate his enjoyment. It could be that he simply likes having somebody he's attracted to near by, even if he doesn't want to focus on pleasuring the other person at the moment.
I ldo ike the dom/sub stuff myself so I understand the temptation to view everything through that filter. However, it's an asshole move to tell somebody else what their fetish is. It's like me telling Dan that he really does love pussy but in a very subtle way. :P
Mar 31
Brie commented on SL Letter of the Day: Gay Hahaha.
I like the terms "heteroflexible" and "homoflexible" although any label will have some ambiguity to it.
Mar 3
Brie commented on Savage Love.
It is my (sadly uncommon) opinion that brides and grooms should not get to dictate the wardrobe choices of their witnesses. It can get ridiculous nowadays even down to insisting brides maids get a certain hair style. How crazy is that? What other event, *especially* a formal one, gives the host the right to plan the guest's freaking hair style? It's ludicrous.
At my wedding, simple instruction - formal. Whatever that means to any guess, witness or otherwise, will guide that guest's clothing choices.
At my wedding, simple instruction - formal. Whatever that means to any guess, witness or otherwise, will guide that guest's clothing choices.
Nov 30, 2012
Brie commented on Savage Love.
The term IDGAF is looking for may be "aromantic". Asexual people don't have sex drive, even though they may have a romance drive. It's possible that IDGAF does not have a romance drive, even though he clearly does have a sex drive.
Nov 17, 2012
Brie commented on Savage Love.
@4 Ever heard of Gandhi? He only liberated an entire nation from the clutches of a vast empire. Worthwhile enough for you?
Sep 25, 2012
Brie commented on Savage Love Episode 309.
Oh, and for the boy who wants a cock sleeve... I agree you shouldn't cater to double standard insecurity. However, if you want to throw her a bone, so to speak, there are cock sleeves out there which don't look like body parts at all. May I suggest the Tenga Air Lite, which is designed to be very easy to clean, or the Cobra Libre, which vibrates. Both are body safe. And they look nothing like any body part she has, so she's less likely to be threatened.
I have on good authority that they feel great.
I have on good authority that they feel great.
Sep 25, 2012
Brie commented on Savage Love Episode 309.
For the Christian man who wants to be a gay ally, try talking to the people at gaychristian.net. A lot of them are also coming from a conservative Christian perspective.
Also, I want to say again that I enjoyed Cindy Gallop's podcast and I am very thankful to Dan for letting me know about her. She's smart and intelligent and stands by her beliefs. And she's actually DOING something about what she believes in. So many people are content to sit back and say "folks should do something about that."
Also, I want to say again that I enjoyed Cindy Gallop's podcast and I am very thankful to Dan for letting me know about her. She's smart and intelligent and stands by her beliefs. And she's actually DOING something about what she believes in. So many people are content to sit back and say "folks should do something about that."
Sep 25, 2012
Brie commented on Savage Love Episode 308.
I enjoyed Cindy Gallop. She didn`t sound like a professional speaker in this format. But I do love the casual confidence she has in her convictions. She makes a great point, and I`m glad Dan featured her. :)
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