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OutInBumF
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Bio

I'm a gay man who spent 13 young, formative years in a fundamentalist christian cult,… more »

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OutInBumF Wasting time on Slog.
Nov 27, 2013 OutInBumF commented on Savage Love.
@22- I suspect my understanding of 'depressing' is better than yours having spent a lifetime with it. I also suspect my understanding of alcoholism is better than yours, having a family full of them. AND finally, since there have been 3 suicides in my family in 2 years, one of whom was my son in July, I suspect genetics are involved, but somehow the humor escapes me.
STFU, yourself.
Nov 27, 2013 OutInBumF commented on Savage Love.
"Can relationships and depression work? I found it to be soul-crushing."
No, they cannot, for exactly the reason the LW cites here.
@18- what if she walked through all the doors he opened and was still depressed? What if after decades of walking through every door available, she was still a basket case? Then what?
An alcoholic has but to stop drinking. The mentally ill are at the mercy of the Dr's and their meds- better in 2013, but still not a certain fix. Her odds of finding lasting love are slim and fat. Let's hope she fails to reproduce during her lifetime with genes like hers.
Nov 27, 2013 OutInBumF commented on Savage Love.
@lolorhone- Spoken by someone without the disease, it would seem. I didn't say he didn't LOVE her, just that his love wasn't enough for either him or her, and therein lies the problem. "Love" is only as good as it stays, or is able to. After that, love is an empty word. I am quite positive that the LW's girlfriend does not feel LOVED, regardless of what he told her when he left. Her future partners will leave her as well, no matter how much they profess to LOVE her.
So yes, she is unloveable. She has a disease that will destroy her and anyone who touches her, whether it be in 1.5 years or 22. If she can find a treatment, good for her. But intractable, life-long, untreatable no matter the therapy, depression makes her unloveable by anyone but FSM or his equivilent sky-god. Not much use to the depressed, this love of which you speak, if the love abandons. Should he feel guilty? He left someone with a disease she probably couldn't help. It didn't bother Newt with his cancerous wives; it shouldn't bother the LW either.
Also- drinking doesn't help the depressed- please make a note of it.
More...
Nov 27, 2013 OutInBumF commented on Savage Love.
Nov 27, 2013 OutInBumF commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Painful Subject.
DTMFA, pronto. Sounds like a manipulative sack of shit from here, that she's put up with at least 4 years too long.
Nov 25, 2013 OutInBumF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Fatal Mismatch.
Another "It's hard to want what your mate wants when you don't want it" edition. Sigh.
Nov 22, 2013 OutInBumF commented on The Widow.
Yep, death and dying. Lost my son to suicide July 5th, then my father to cancer on August 30th. Son died nearly instantly, Dad took 5 days in the active dying process. Son died alone, Dad died surrounded by his kids and his wife, our mom.
Dying is hard, death is harder but the real muthafucker is living after it all is done.
My condolences to all, and thanks for a beautifully written story.
Nov 22, 2013 OutInBumF commented on I, Anonymous.
Thanks @19! Sheesh. Trolls gotta troll.
Nov 21, 2013 OutInBumF commented on The Road to Sochi.
Aww- Leave Johnny ALONE! He's got enough to battle against just being himself. Hardly a man to 'pass' in homophobic Russia.
Nov 20, 2013 OutInBumF commented on Savage Love.
"the culture tells the young and the straight that they must be monogamous (because sex is so important) and that they shouldn't take sexual compatibility into consideration when picking a partner (because sex is so unimportant)"
Dan I LOVE this turn of phrase. Sums the whole GDamned hypocritical mess around sexuality in our Puritan country up nicely. Thanks!
Then they blame teh gheys for the decline of marriage in the US. Blame England for unloading those Puritans off on America.
 
 

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