Just another opinion about religion, bible, and lgbtxyz-related stuff, coming from this bigender person http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender
who happened to be ritually circumcised while few days old (yes, it was painful, but considering the first all-the-way blow job I got some 20 year later as a result it was well worth it!!!)
Ladies and gentlemen, I am a proud member of the chosen people and as such I got to read the bible in its original version. Despite growing up with the secular section of the tribe way back in the land of milk and honey, we didn’t have much to do with the New Testament. But we did read and debated the old one. As history, as a way of life, not a doctrine, as “the doctrine” was a socialist one that professed hard manual labor for the sake of it. Quantity, meaning the number of hours you stood under the fucking sun, counted so much more then the quality of what you actually produced.
Intros are very important, but lets not forget the reason we’re all here, shall we? So… the bible at some point lists some set of rules, and in that list you will find homosexuality alongside with the no-no’s of… making clothes out of flax fibers mixed with other types of fibers, as well as planting those seeds next to each other.
This vague list didn’t stop all homophobic religions- and aren’t they all anyway?- to list homosexuality as the worst crime on earth. And just to clarify the matter, “homosexuality” is always so much worse when it is between men, because even back then the ruling guys were secretly masturbating to lesbian porn…
So what does the bible says, ha? The bible tells us about Joseph, not the one whose wife was cheating on him and once she got knocked up told him it was “the holly spirit”. The other, earlier Joseph was Jacob’s son who was viewed by his older brothers as “a little different”, an embarrassing kinda dude who used to dress up in fancy striped gowns. So they threw him in a dried well and later sold him to nomads, who must have viewed him much more charming than their occasional camel encounter. They also took him to Egypt where, being the only Jew, he became Pharaoh’s both shrink and economic adviser.
Years later, when the family moved to Egypt due to economic hardship, Joseph confronted his brothers and they all hugged and kissed him and asked for forgiveness. Yes, economic hardship can do a lot for your liberal set of mind.
The other famous gay person is King David. Surprised, aren’t you? Well, back in the days the kings could fuck anyone in site and get away with it. So on top of watching that woman washing on the roof in Jerusalem and then sending her husband to the frontline and make sure he is killed so he can fuck his wife, the red haired musician had a boyfriend named Jonathan. And at some point he told him something like, “my love to you is greater than a love to a woman”, which I’m guessing all religions interpret this as a sign of “an asexual friendship that stands so much higher than any sexual contact”.
Because sex is dirty, it’s horrible; we should all refrain from it as much as we can. And besides, you only do it with someone you really, really love. And married to. And that person has to be a member of the opposite camp; otherwise it’s a sin!
Well, ladies and gentlemen- and everyone in between- FUCK IT!!!