Aug 17, 2014 danfan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Potential Murder, She Wrote.
If @40 wasn't pulled for trolling, I hate to imagine what the trolls whose comments WERE pulled said.
Aug 6, 2014 danfan commented on SL Letter of the Day: This Cheater Will Never Stop Cheating.
TMS, I spent years in a similar situation, with a man who was married. It was the most powerful love of my life, and 95% of it was misery, but that 5% was composed of the happiest moments I'd ever lived. Those moments keep alive the fantasy (and it is a fantasy) that if you could just change a couple things, like making him REALIZE how much his behavior hurts you, you could enjoy that bliss all the time. But you can't.
In therapy I eventually realized that the all-consuming, obsessive nature of that love had more to do with my parents than it did with the guy himself. I think the loves that pull those old childhood strings are often the most powerful, but it doesn't mean they're more "true." If you give yourself the chance (by getting away from this guy), you'll hopefully one day discover what a healthy love without all the drama feels like, and you'll be amazed that you put up with that crap for so long.
And as a couple of commenters have already noted, one would hope you love your KIDS as much (if not more) than their father. Often we can do hard things for the sake of our children that we can't manage to do for ourselves. Bite the bullet, cut him off, and when you're tempted to "play house", think about how much that behavior screws up your kids. Good luck.
Jul 31, 2014 danfan commented on Savage Love.
What do you think are the chances those two BESTies having occasional, drunken, unplanned sex are also have UNPROTECTED sex and swapping STDs with each other and the girlfriend? You missed the elephant in the room, Dan.
Jul 22, 2014 danfan commented on I, Anonymous.
Arthur Zifferelli's comments here actually made me smile instead of scowl. Will wonders never cease?
Apr 6, 2014 danfan commented on A Virgin Girl Is Like a Piece of Chocolate....
@22, there IS such a sex-ed curriculum. It's called Our Whole Lives (OWL for short) and was created by the Unitarian Universalist Association together with United Church of Christ. I've taught it and my kids have gone through it, and it's awesome. Lots of solid info about anatomy, puberty, eroticism, masturbation, sexual orientation, gender, risks of shared sexual activity (STIs, pregnancy, heartbreak, abuse) and pleasures of same. Emphasis on diversity, communication, consent, safety, and pleasure. It's a program this pro-sex feminist can get behind. Learn more at
Mar 27, 2014 danfan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Sneezy Kinkster Teen.
I'm guessing this girl either 1) sneezes when she has an orgasm, or 2) has an orgasm when she sneezes, and is wondering WTF? And "sneezing fetish" was the best search term she could come up with.
Mar 25, 2014 danfan commented on Savage Love.
That first answer was perfection. Thanks, Dan <3
Feb 7, 2014 danfan commented on The Science Guy vs. The Creationist Guy.
@43 gets it.
Jan 30, 2014 danfan commented on SL Letter of the Day: I Be All Persecuting Jesus And Shit.
Just a small caveat -- I really don't think that "the overwhelming majority of straight sex" occurs outside the bounds of matrimony (speaking worldwide, not just Seattle). The world over, most people DO get married. And, for the most part, married people have more sex than single people, and they have most of it with each other.
Jan 11, 2014 danfan commented on I'm Unclear On the Whole Penis-In-Vagina Concept.
@177, @178 -- No.
@148 - Evolutionary biologist Lynn Saxon makes a convincing argument that the outsized penis on human males (relative to those of other primates) evolved because it favors a better fit with the human vagina -- which is larger than that of other primates in order to accommodate the big heads of our big-brained babies. Otherwise, even more human females would die in childbirth than already do. Makes sense to me.