Aug 28, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Open Your Mouth
Sophomore year of college, there was a girl who was really into me, though I was less interested. So I dated her, because I thought it might be fun at least. All I did was really break her heart and I still feel like an asshole to this day. Not for dumping her, which was surprisingly tough but definitely the right thing to do. I'm an ass for going along with it in the first place, when I knew what was going to happen. She has long since moved on and forgiven me, but I still feel bad.
This guy wants forgiveness for stringing the gay guy along. Sorry mate, you're not getting it from me. Feel like an ass, and don't do this again.
Aug 23, 2013
commented on The Haters Are Going to Love This
Here's what I think. The transgendered issue came up during the trial. If you were paying attention, it was there. Chelsea was also out about it to a supervisor before any of this happened. So sentencing comes around and she realizes that while it isn't well known, it is out there, and some people are going to make sure block mates are aware of it. There are plenty of officers who would love to make her life a living hell. So she comes out publicly and big as a last ditch effort to be treated like a human in prison.
Jun 26, 2013
commented on Supreme Court Strikes Down DOMA
Now that you people have destroyed marriage, you can get back to your true mission of destroying the American farmer by refusing to eat any carbs.
In seriousness, it's about damn time. I'm glad most of SCOTUS got its head out of its own ass. Roberts is still a dick though.
Feb 21, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Bonus Advice for DUD
I don't know your situation with your parents, I don't know the context and the tone, and, as a nearly 30-year-old straight guy, I don't know what it was like to grow up closeted. But I want to speak up in defense of "be careful."
"Be careful" is what my mom said to me just a few months ago. I was competing in a national event in my parents' home town and they came out to see me. My mom prides herself on knowing and getting along with most of my friends. She asked about a woman she saw me talking to and I said I was thinking of asking that woman out. "Be careful" she said, but I heard "The last time you mentioned a girl to us, she broke your heart. You were madly in love, and for a while so was she, and you two worked for a long time... until you didn't. You were depressed and you let yourself go. You gained weight, had no clothes that fit for months, and were let go from your job shortly after. We were worried about you. We called so often not to annoy you, but because we thought you might be spiraling downward and would do something rash. So be careful, your heart could get broken again."
"Be careful" is what I said to a lady friend of mine. She'd met a guy at a party and he had just invited her to his place for a movie. "Be careful" I said, but she heard "We didn't know most of the people there, and I'm not sure why he was there. He's probably a nice guy, but maybe he's not. You're a good friend and I don't want to see you hurt, Make your first date somewhere public, wait till you get a sense of who he is when you haven't been drinking before going to his place. Bad things happen and you hear stories that start out this way all the time. So be careful, you don't want to be one of those stories."
"Be careful" is what one of my closest friends, and also an ex, said to me. We were talking about the girl I had mentioned to my parents and how things were going with her. "Be careful" she said, but I heard "I like her, she seems really good for you, so don't mess it up. You have a habit of coming on really strong and being clingy and needy. It's one of the things that drove us apart, and I don't want you to make the same mistake again. I've seen you mess it up with other girls and then feel bad about it, which is a shame, because you really are a wonderful guy. So be careful, you want this one to work out."
"Be careful" is what I said to a friend. He'd just confessed that he's completely resigned to being single, because every guy his age that he meets is either in a relationship or doesn't want one. "Be careful" I said, but he heard "Don't let this make you jaded and cynical. You're fun to be around, smart, and dedicated, there is a guy out there for you. Don't be so resigned to this fate that you pass up one a good thing, because you can't see it for a good thing. You need to keep putting yourself out there, because otherwise you'll turn this into a self-fulfilling prophecy, where you are always single and bitter and nobody is going to break you of that. So be careful, he could be the next guy you meet."
"Be careful" is what I will say to my child. He or she when my kids come home from high school and talk about a boy or girl they are starting to date. I'll hopefully already have had the safe sex talk with them, but that's mechanics. This is love and no amount of lecturing can get through on that. "Be careful," I'll say, and then continue to make sure they hear, "this is something that was almost certainly going to happen and I couldn't stop it if I wanted to. But I don't. I just want you to know that this relationship is a young one, and while it may end up seeming like the center of the universe, it isn't. You have so much growing and changing left to do, I certainly wasn't fully mature or fully myself into my late 20s. It probably will come to end, and it probably should. If you are smart and caring about it, though, you'll grow and learn about yourself and what you want from life. If you aren't, it can cause bitter and resentment for years to come. Your life is ahead of you, and while this may feel like it's the center of the world, there will be plenty more to come. So be careful, know that this relationship does not need to define you."
"Be careful" is what we said. And whether it was a friend in need or a relative doing fine, we said it because it needed to be said. You, Mouseandclown, say that you feel confident they would have treated a straight relationship it like it mattered. Again, I don't know their attitudes, I don't know you, and I am not trying to defend the actions of your parents 25 years ago. I can't, and I probably don't want to. But in each of the examples I gave, "Be careful" is what was said, but what was meant is "I love you. I care about you and don't want to see you hurt. What you're about to do is dangerous and has so much potential to cause you pain and hardship. But we're not saying don't do it. We know this is something that is worth the risk, something you should do. I love you and don't want to lose you. So be careful, and know that no matter what happens, there is a person that cares enough about you to tell you that."
Feb 14, 2012
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Pill The Homos!
Anybody who argues that being gay is a choice is either in denial about their homosexuality or in denial about being bi. I say this as a straight man. I could not choose to be gay. I like women too much. And the thought of a cock in my mouth is gross. The way i see it, if I feel this strongly about it, and some other guy wants gay sex, they must feel just as strongly the opposite. If you think its a choice, then you probably are feeling attractions that I'm not.
The whole issue is largely irrelevant though. Consenting adults can do whatever the hell they please to each other. I don't care if its a choice or you are born that way. If you find somebody who agrees to fuck you, then why should anybody else get a say?
Dec 19, 2011
commented on Disturbing Headline Juxtaposition of the Day
Yeah, this is a bit misleading. McInerney plead down to Voluntary Manslaughter* while Vinson went to trial and was sentenced for one count of First Degree Murder, 2 counts of Attempted Murder, and 1 count of Attempted Voluntary Manslaughter. So really, Vinson is doing 6 times the sentence for many more crimes.
*This is the bullshit part. Voluntary Manslaughter means you were provoked to the point that would cause a "reasonable person" to lose control. Apparently a fellow student being gay, wearing make up, and hitting on you is considered enough to make a reasonable person lose control. That's total bullshit. He smuggled a gun in to a school to kill somebody. That's forethought and intent right there. It was Murder and he should have gotten a longer sentence as a plea.
Dec 10, 2011
commented on My Playlist
You know Dan, I read your blog daily, listen to the podcast, read the column, and watch interviews with you on TV. I've heard you repeatedly mention the fact that you have a husband, the different guys you've had sex with, how you enjoy sex with men, and just out right call yourself gay or a fag. It is because of you that I support gay marriage, have given to It Gets Better and the Trevor Project, and generally consider myself a defender of LGBT rights. My point is, it is completely clear that you are gay.
And this post made me say "Holy shit, Dan, you're reeeeeeally gay."