Austin, TX
website report this user
Nov 13, 2012 Clever_Innuendo commented on None Dare Call It Treason Mental Illness.
No, stay out of Texas. We've already reached our quota of loonies. Although, I agree that it would be hilarious if she moved here to Austin (or even Houston) and realized that big cities in Texas are just like big cities in other states...extremely liberal. She'd probably have to move out to some shithole like Cut and Shoot, TX. No Trader Joe's or Whole Foods there!

Also, may I strongly recommend Pima County, Arizona? Border fences for everyone!
Jul 27, 2012 Clever_Innuendo commented on Romney Offers Barista Half-Consumed Hot Cocoa in Lieu of Tip.
Here in Texas, minimum wage is only $7.25 an hour. Most servers make $2.15 an hour. When I delivered pizza at a large chain pizza place, I made $4.25 an hour plus $1.27 per delivery, which was supposed to cover "mileage", but didn't really because I got the same amount per delivery whether your house is a block away or 5 miles away. That is especially low considering that you not only need to cover gas, but keep your car in good repair; a job like that tears up your car and tires very quickly. At this particular chain, every driver is expected to be able to do every job in the store, except for manager. So, I probably not only took their order on the phone, but also helped make it, cut it up, box it, and then delivered it. Some nights (usually slow nights, like Mondays) I would leave with only $15 bucks in tips, which only covered the gas I put in my car to go to work that night.

So, I'm really big on tipping because I've done all those jobs. I usually tip about 20%. 15% if I'm broke or the service is bad. For drinks, I do $1 per poured drink or bottle (beer, wine, shots) and $2 - $3 for each mixed drink. I don't drink often, but when I do, I always tip in cash.

As for coffee, depends on the place. If it's a drip coffee from the cafeteria on campus, then no. It's overpriced swill from a machine, and people only drink it because it's there. Also, those employees get benefits, even part timers. If it's a nice cafe and it's all handcrafted with care, as someone above mentioned, they get a nice tip on par with my bar tipping policies. Those people probably do not get benefits, unlike the ladies at my college.
Jul 24, 2012 Clever_Innuendo commented on Today in Traditional Marriage.
@28 Thank you for that. The public has this horrible misconception that a rapist is a scary man in the bushes with a ski mask. The truth is that it's more likely to be your male friend or your coworker or classmate. I guess it's easier to believe that it's a stranger, though, instead of admitting that your friend is capable of that.

On tv, they always show these crazy serial rapists who break into a lady's home to do these horrible things, but how often have you, personally, seen this? There have been some famous cases (like the Hillside Stranglers, etc.), but I think those were more about serial murder than rape necessarily. And again, probably exceedingly rare.
Jul 24, 2012 Clever_Innuendo commented on SL Letter of the Day: Going on Seventeen.
Hell, most of this advice applies to twenty-something guys too, at least here in Austin. The whole "haven't-bathed-in-a-week" look seems to be popular around here... And I would add:

- Learn to clean up after yourself. At least do your dishes and laundry. Nobody likes a slob.
- Trim your damn beard and mustache if you get one. At least make sure you clean it and there isn't food hanging around in your silly hipster beard.
- Learn to cook something that doesn't go in a microwave or come out of a box.

@8. I can only hope to be a cougar when I'm older. I need a shirtless houseboy to, uh, trim my hedges... Yeah... Hedges. :P
Jul 23, 2012 Clever_Innuendo commented on SL Letter of the Day: Who Comes First.
For those who say that you can't live with an ex as a friend/roommate, I would say that that's true for the most part, but not always. It requires you to really be done with that person in a romantic/sexual way and to, you know, be a mature adult about it. My current roommate is my ex from four years ago. After a cooling off period, we decided to remain friends. It just works well when we live together because I hate living with strangers; he already knows what to expect from me and vice versa. And there is absolutely no sex between us. I've gone out on dates and had guys over before, and all my roommate says is, "Oh, he seems nice," or, "Did you have fun?" And that's it. We respect each other's privacy and have boundaries.

Based on my experience, these ladies are doing it wrong. lol. They seem to not have any boundaries. The LW's GF is clearly still beholden to the ex in an unhealthy way. And the ex is clearly batshit. If my roommate, ex or no, tried to demand that I come home in the middle of a date in the absence of an emergency, I'd tell him to grow the fuck up or pack some boxes. But I voluntarily tell him who my date is and when I'm coming home out of courtesy and because he's my internet date phone buddy. If I'm not home by x time, call the National Guard or something.

Also, I agree about ultimatums. They rarely work, especially if your relationship is not long-established, and all they do is make the person making them look bad. (Plus, you'll actually have to follow through with them, so you shouldn't do that unless you intend to follow through.) Many people have this urge to rebel against any demands, especially if they feel that they are unreasonable. So it's really lose-lose that way. If you talk to her calmly and explain the way you feel without insulting the ex, you come off as the reasonable one. If that doesn't work, then just walk away. You're not going to change anything.
Jul 23, 2012 Clever_Innuendo commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Pair of DTMFAs.
@ 115 Yes, that exactly. If you let the fear drive your decisions, you're in for a world of hurt. I would also add to that to listen to your longtime friends. They really care for you. They've known you a long time, and they really want your best interests. You're flitting up there on the clouds with your feelings, and they can bring you back to earth and reason. Hear what they have to say from an outside perspective and pay attention to see if it's true. I made the mistake of not listening to my friends, and it turns out they were right, all of them.

And on top of that, never put up with something in a significant other that you wouldn't put up with in a friend. I don't let my friends disrespect me. I don't let them blow me off. If they did that often, we wouldn't be friends anymore. Same with significant others.
Jul 22, 2012 Clever_Innuendo commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Pair of DTMFAs.
@87 Sissoucat

Yeah, even though I am only 23, I really have decided that I don't want kids. They're just not for me. So I sure wouldn't want to waste anyone's time if they wanted to have kids and I don't. It's just not something that you can compromise on. You can't have half a baby. lol. I have my hands full enough rescuing kittens and pet rats.

I have been told that I'm too picky, and that if I really wanted to be in a relationship, I'd slack on those things. But I tried that before, and it doesn't work. If you'll take anyone just to avoid being single, then that leads to abuse and low self-esteem. I'm kind of enjoying being single, actually. And I don't care what anyone says, anyway. None of my criteria are about appearance or careers or anything superficial; being hot and having a good job is nice, but it may not last. It's about my values, and it's not right for me to expect someone to change their values or for me to change mine.
Jul 22, 2012 Clever_Innuendo answered a bunch of weird questions about himself or herself.
Jul 22, 2012 Clever_Innuendo updated his or her location.
Jul 22, 2012 Clever_Innuendo commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Pair of DTMFAs.
I'm still working on this myself. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man for two years who would only fuck me grudgingly. I'm a BBW, and I was the same size when it met him, but it took him two years to admit that he didn't find me attractive in the slightest, after I got very sick developing some disordered eating habits to try to please him. And at the end of it all, I was homeless.

So, I've now been single for just about two years, and I'm back on my feet and have a pretty successful life. I've spent a long time thinking about the beliefs and attitudes that I had that allowed him to treat me that way and kept me with him for so long, and I'm only just starting to figure out what I do and do not want in a partner (male or female) and what my dealbreakers are. I've been on a few dates in the last few months, but I'm mostly focusing on me and my education right now. If I meet someone awesome, then great, if not, I have a pretty fulfilling life to continue living.

These are my PERSONAL deal-breakers, some of which would not apply for other women:

1) Mean to animals/doesn't like animals
2) Allergic to cats (It's not their fault, but my cat's not going anywhere, and I tried dating a person with allergies, and it just made me guilty for their suffering.)
3) Slut-shamer/has archaic ideas about what women should be or how they should behave
4) Anti-choice
5) Almost any stripe of social conservative. Doughnuts to dollars we won't have the same values.
6) Refuses to even try to get me off. I'm hard to get off, so I have vibrators for that purpose and no problem using them, but a person who won't even TRY isn't for me.
7) Mean to servers/bad tipper
8) Tells me I'm "over-sensitive" if I having a complaint. I just may be, as we can all be over-sensitive sometimes, but if you just tell me that to dismiss me instead of discussing our mutual feelings about an issue, then you you can straight fuck off.
9) Really religious/superstitious, etc. (I'm an atheist. I can deal with some basic spiritual beliefs, but if someone is anti-science or really focused on their faith, then they're not for me.)
10) Won't share household work
11) Drinks too much/does drugs
12) Wants kids

That's pretty much the short list. There are other things that would bother me that I might deal with depending on the circumstances, but these are an absolute no-fly zone. I often wonder if I'm being too picky, but I'd rather wait forever to be with someone who's right for me then waste time with someone who's not.

I also wouldn't automatically rule out someone who had a poor relationship with their family or had few friends. I'm kind of the same. I'm estranged from most of my family because they're batshit crazy, so it's for my own mental health. Also, I'm an introvert, so I have few friends, but I love them dearly and we're very close.