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Feb 8 nartweag commented on Savage Love.
Regarding LW, Dan is spot on!
I have seen this play out with a couple of my friends.
Het man, bi woman (so same as the letter)... she made that same rule. He got "nothing" as he wasnt into men... She got to play around, A LOT.
He did eventually take a liking to one particular man... take a guess how that actually played out... How OK do you think she was with that?
Exactly zero!
Because that type of rule ONLY comes from selfishness. That goes for any "one penis policy" too!

They attempted to fully open up their relationship, I guess to save their marriage... But trying to be ethically non-monogamous just highlighted the issues within their marriage.

Nov 10, 2016 nartweag commented on Savage Love.
As someone who had been dating (for 2 1/2 years) someone with the same first name and last initial as my husband I think the GF needs to suck it up and learn to deal. There are so many things that go into making poly relationships work, someone's name should in no way be any sort of issue. I am not buying the brown m&m concept in the least.

....And yes, all the time people joked how I "don't have to worry about calling out the wrong name during sex"... Something I actually found really fucking offensive. They are not even remotely similar in bed, one of the many joys of poly is the sexual variety.
Jul 28, 2016 nartweag commented on SL Letter of the Day: Unicorn Hunters.
Another question any unicorn should be asking a couple is,
"Do you want me to be exclusive to you?"
... And know what you want in that regard prior to asking.
Jun 30, 2016 nartweag commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Pregnancy Derails Poly Bliss.
Yes, the evil evil Unicorn seduced this otherwise monogamous (straight) couple, just to get to the super hot stud muffin of a man....
Managed to make him impregnate his wife to further her evil Unicorn plot....
Then she has the gall to move a 1/2 hour away in an attempt to further seduce him, to have him all to herself (clearly no other possible reason makes a lick of sense)....

Yes, people this is how life works.
Get real. Anyone who thinks this is anything but the couple fucking with (likely not intentionally so) this poor woman is delusional.

Jun 29, 2016 nartweag commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Pregnancy Derails Poly Bliss.
If the couple was trying to conceive, than they should have been up front about that fact before any sexy times happened. The GF in this story deserves to know what she is getting into.
If the couple was not trying, not on reliable BC, than I give them a giant WTF????
I would blame them for the hurt they have caused the GF in both of those situations. Did they even discuss what would happen if a pregnancy occured (to either woman)? I bet not....

It is stories like these that give Unicorn hunting couples a bad rap within the Poly community. LW also needs to realize that her relationship with GF is a totally separate relationship than her husband's relationship with GF. Couples that do not understand such things have no place in trying to find a third (IMHO)... They treat "thirds" like objects to use for their enjoyment and not as people with their own thoughts and feelings.

There are a lot healthy of ways to do Poly, but this situation is not one of them.
May 18, 2016 nartweag commented on How the Continuation of the Bernie Sanders Campaign Hurts the Chances of a Democrat-Controlled Senate.
This whole article/argument is total BULLSHIT!
.... And basically what #'s 1-6 have said.
May 3, 2016 nartweag commented on In 5-4 Vote, City Council Kills Street Vacation for New Sodo Arena.
@4 regarding this statement...
"After all, no one plays baseball when they are playing football, and no one plays basketball when they are playing either baseball or football. So wouldn't it make sense to put the stadium in the "Stadium District".

Yes! lets jack up the traffic going through/ around the stadiums on even more days of the year... It is already a total cluster fuck on game days to get from south Seattle area to ANYWHERE north... much less downtown. Traffic on game days fucks up 99 (if the viaduct ever opens again), all the even remotely close by city streets, and I5... Or did you not realize this because you are not affected by it?

It would be a great suggestion if the stupid stadiums where slightly out of town and not right in the middle of the only traffic flow Seattle has...
Apr 20, 2016 nartweag commented on Starbucks Baristas Are at Risk of Being Poked by Dirty Needles.
@8, exactly....
I do not see how this is in any way Starbucks' responsibility.... It could have been any sort of business... Just happened to be a well known one.
How is it their job to fix any issues around the drug problem in this city more so than ANY/ ALL OTHER BUSINESSES?

I would be afraid to touch, or get accidentally bumped into the outside of a sharps box in any such (non medical) setting.... that is just asking for more trouble IMHO.
Mar 17, 2016 nartweag commented on Savage Love.
@50, I was just going to mention this very fact...
For those that don't want to click the link it also states, " All members first join as Friends. Friends may attend all of our events at member attendance rates. All Friends can bring up to two non-member guests to any Center event at the guest attendance rates."
So, she will be joining at the $60 rate regardless. Also, unless she were to go ALL THE TIME (never meeting someone she liked and playing somewhere else sometimes/most of the time), it will NEVER cost that much.

Been contemplating maybe joining at the behest of a partner and a couple friends, because after a certain number of visits (not that many) it pays for itself in the difference between member and guest attendance rates.... I think there is something odd going on that she used that sort of non actual cost as a reason not to go/join....

Frankly, I feel Dan should have addressed the actual cost in the column not just for the LW but all the readers, who now think it costs that much. Also some activities cost money, that is life. It isn't any different than say, going out to eat on a date.
Mar 3, 2016 nartweag commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Sexlessish Marriage Less Sexless During Affair.
I'm sorry but option 1, is decidedly NOT ok!
This is not a "do what you have to, to stay sane" in a marriage situation.... Not even close.
She just isn't feeling attracted to him... She is still for whatever reason, even if only occasionally, having sex with him... Getting sex outside their relationship also puts him at risk for STDs that he decidedly did not consent to...

She has option 2. Ask to open the marriage or 3. Leave.
But option 1 is just being a CPOS end of story, giving her husband a little nookie does not in any way negate that fact.