Not enough like Twitter.

Apr 9 Alanmt commented on SL Letter of the Day: Pretty Little Hippie.
@1 Now I wanna go to your Friday night hippie love dancefest - for purely observational purposes only, of course.
Apr 8 Alanmt commented on SL Letter of the Day: Pretty Little Hippie.
I hope outofwater/dare comes back to comment again. He never answered my question about whether he looks like James Maslow. I am still curious.
Apr 2 Alanmt commented on #Cancel Colbert: The Politics of Being Offended.
@ 5, 10

Disagree. Sometimes removing the concealing curtain isn't kind, but in this case the revealed truth is important. Calling out crazy has social utility. Calling out stupid opinions has social utility. And calling out misusers of racism, sexism et al. labeling has social utility.

This woman's a whacko.
Mar 20 Alanmt commented on Savage Love.
A five year campaign of shaming. God, I hope that's not what happens to lots of gay teens, but to the extent it is, it is even more reprehensible to allow it to go unchallenged. Under these circumstances "Don't talk about it." smacks of pretending past abuse didn't occur to maintain family peace. That is a piss-poor attitude and your advice is a disservice to the abuse victim.

She brought it up. She opened the door. He was willing to let it go and relearn how to love his mother. But she broke that treaty.

I think he has to respect his wife's desire not to be outed as a kinkster. But I also think he has to tell his mother how wrong her self-satisfied assessment of her own viciousness is, as a matter of ethical behavior, as a way of dealing with her gratuitous reopening of this wound, and yes, as a matter of protecting his children from her. maybe you haven't seen a grandchild attacked by a grandparent like this. I have.

You're never to old to learn a lesson about humanity and empathy and behaving properly and identifying and asking forgiveness for past wrongs.
Mar 20 Alanmt commented on Savage Love.
If I were the last letter writer, I wouldn't wait. I would send the email.

@85: There's a significant difference between being concerned and terrorizing your child for years.
Mar 8 Alanmt commented on SL Letter of the Day: About a Boy.
ven, when you say Bolero, I visualize Bo Derek's iconic poster with the gold swimsuit and beaded braids. If I had to attach a sexuality to that image, it would be teen het male, circa, mid80s.
Mar 7 Alanmt commented on SL Letter of the Day: About a Boy.
OMG "flex" is fantastic. I am incorporating it immediately.
Mar 6 Alanmt commented on New Poll Shows Highest Support for Gay Marriage Ever, Pope Comes Out for Civil Unions.
@6 getting government out of marriage is not a compromise. It would be chaos fueled by stupidity. Our society requires orderly judicial administration of breakups, as a matter of fundamental fairness to the parties involved and to protect the children, and a clear definition of the legal status of marriage for the benefit of third parties with whom the spouses deal. Also, "protecting marriage" by removing all legal supports form it is nihilistically hypocritical. Gah, the lengths some people will go to hurt gay couples and avoid their existence.
Mar 4 Alanmt commented on The New Republic On Trigger Warnings Jumping From Blogs to College Campuses.
@9 Is it irresponsible for a person standing on the railroad tracks to not get off the tracks if he sees a train coming? Yes.

Is it irresponsible for a person with PTSD, upon being unexpectantly confronted with a potentially triggering event or depiction to not walk out of the classroom? Yes.

Sometimes the trigger happens before you get a chance to react. I get that. But, judging from her own recitation of events, that wasn't the case for Bailey Loverin, and it isn't the case for a lot of other people as well. That's what I meant by assuming personal responsibility, not removing oneself entirely from society - and a little personal risk management might go a long way as well.

@10 " If you have never had a flashback, you have no idea what the trauma is like." Sorry, I completely disagree with this philosophy. We are humans. We are empathetic and imaginative enough to have a good understanding of such things even if they don't happen to us, if we try to. As an anecdotal example, I tried to imagine once how it would feel if horrible experience X happened to me. Later horrible experience X did happen to me. And you know what? It was pretty much how I imagined it would be. I don't think I'm unique in my ability to imagine or empathize. Some people in this thread even feel I lack empathy.

But policy choices like this are not merely about courtesy. They are also about whether we as a society want to reinforce man's essential durability - our ability to overcome adversity and horrible things happening to us - or to reinforce the idea that that we are weak, delicate creatures, easily be broken beyond repair. This is important because those who suffer trauma can and do impose these societal visions on themselves, and it may make the difference between a maximized recovery and a failed one.
Mar 4 Alanmt commented on The New Republic On Trigger Warnings Jumping From Blogs to College Campuses.
Trigger warnings are not a reasonable accommodation. They are an extraordinary courtesy, and the lack thereof shouldn't give rise to censure.

I understand triggers. But, as the article syas, dealing with them is much more mentally healthy in the long term than expecting society to raise a new thicket of word shields and wordfences and wordgates to protect all the people who have some type and level of trigger from all of the things which trigger them. People need to take some responsibility for themselves. Bailey Loverin could have gotten up and walked out of that class, and no one would have thought a whole lot about it an hour afterword. But she stayed, endangering her mental health, because she didn't want to draw attention to herself? And she decided to solve the problem of having to draw attention to herself by drawing attention to herself on a national basis by her proposed policy change? That is hyperentitled and just plain whacked.

@1 Yes. Do yourself a favor and stay off the internet. Unless you are looking for reasons to be offended, then stick around. There are plenty. Or you could just grow the fuck up.

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