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Aug 25 CrankyBacon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Married Woman.
Dude's a CPOS. And wife is naïve as all hell. "Why did he do it?" 'Cause he could. "Why did he lie about it?" Cause he didn't want to get caught. There's no deep psychological turmoil inspiring his behavior. He was horny. Hot coworker sexted with him (and/or actually fucked with him). Dan's way off on this one.
Aug 11 CrankyBacon commented on What We Learn from the Cop Who Shot and Killed a Small Dog.
For once Charles writes a reasonable post and I completely agree with him.
Jul 27 CrankyBacon commented on The Place to Buy Horses in Enumclaw.
No one cares, Charles. No one cares about this story, no one cares about "zoo", and the only person who cares--or should care--about your obsession with this story is your shrink.
Jul 23 CrankyBacon commented on Revisiting the Town of the Most Famous Horse Sex Death in Recorded History.
Oh, my god, Charles, we get it. You want to fuck a horse. But get over it, please. Or at least get over talking about this horse fucking case over and over and over again. We're so tired of it!

/goddamn, does Charles really want to fuck a horse.
Apr 1 CrankyBacon commented on Why the CEO of ExxonMobil Equals the Pilot of Germanwings Flight 9525.
Keeping it klassy as always, Mudede.
Feb 23 CrankyBacon commented on Is Secretary Just as Bad as Fifty Shades? Erika Moen On the Other Mr. Grey.
Has anyone raised the question if EL James ripped off her shit pile 50 shades book idea from this mediocre movie? Or is the name of the male characters just incredibly frickin' coincidental?
Feb 13 CrankyBacon commented on Theater Artist (and Former Stranger Performance Editor) Bret Fetzer Attacked Last Night at 11th & Pine.
Seems like every other week there is a report of an attack or a strong arm robbery or major property destruction just 1 or two blocks from the precinct station. How are the police okay with that? Aren't they embarrassed? They should be. Maybe if they didn't spend all their time worrying about protesters or old men who are peacefully walking down the sidewalk...
Feb 12 CrankyBacon commented on The Music of Black English in The Piano Lesson.
What a terrible excuse for a review. There are only maybe two sentences in here that relate to this production. Barring those brief, superficial references, this is something an 8th grader could have turned in as a book report after cribbing off of wikipedia. There is nothing about the direction; only one actor is mentioned; all the design elements go completely unobserved; staging is left out; all of the relationships orbiting around the brother and sister aren't considered in the slightest. Usually I expect Mudede to write reviews by referencing architecture, half-eaten fruit he saw on the street, and other completely unrelated nonsense. But compared to this review Here, such a driveling stream of consciousness would have been an improvement.
Oct 30, 2014 CrankyBacon commented on Jaime Lerner and His City of Children.
Actually when I think of the defining characteristics of a city, nearly all of them are unsafe for children. But I guess I’m wrong. I guess Chicago isn’t a city. What is it then? Is Chicago a hay field? A small town? A mountain peak in the French Alps? A toaster oven?

Why do they keep paying you to drivel?
Oct 10, 2014 CrankyBacon commented on I Love Television.
If you think season 2 of AHS was boring, you would probably fall asleep after sniffing enough coke to explode the hearts of a whole troupe of elephants. Season 2 was better than season 1. But 3 sucked.

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