commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Weeded Out
My controlling ex would do the same thing. He knew I smoked pot, declared he wanted to try it (never had), but somehow never was "in the mood" to try it. He'd interrogate me about when I smoked last, and how much, all while saying "there's nothing wrong with it! I just want to know!" Once he asked if I smoked week the past weekend, and I said I hadn't. Unfortunately I had just forgotten I had (weed will do that!) and was caught when his careful secret inventory of my incense cache revealed an extra stick was missing; circumstantial evidence!
After that I trashed all my weed/paraphernalia and just figured I'd have to give this up, because he couldn't handle it. We broke up anyway of course a year later.
Also, anyone who describes marijuana use as an "addiction" probably has some negative feelings about it.
Jul 22, 2015
commented on Glasgow's Alt Pride Celebration Bans Drag Acts
I've always thought the other key point to pride events is that queer-types don't take themselves that seriously. We have a sense of humor about our sexuality and we enjoy the free expression of that sexuality in any form. Oiled up twinks in sequined jockstraps and leather daddies don't go to pride parades so much to give everyone boners, they do it to be absurd. (Yes, there are boners to be had though.) Homophobes see a pride parade as a sex-fest. They see gyrating muscle-bound guys as essentially a strip act. They think we're all getting collectively aroused. When really its all tongue-in-cheek and meant to express the culture by displaying its most absurd boundaries.
The fundamental conceit of drag queens, the most basic reason that it's entertaining, is that its "a man in a dress." Men in dresses are funny because its unexpected, its gender-bendy, its absurd in our nominal culture. This simple "joke" enables a lot of different kinds of expressions of humor and performance.
Transwomen aren't "men in dresses" though, they are women. By saying that drag queens should be stopped because they implicitly mock transwomen is to say that a transwoman is just a man in a dress, like a drag queen (which is not true!).
Equating them in this way (like these people at Free Pride would do) is implicitly saying that a man in a dress who acts silly (i.e. a drag queen) must be making fun of transwomen.
This isn't to say there aren't drag queen out there who denigrate our trans brothers and sisters. Use of the t-slur by drag queens used to be almost a given, but is rare to see now (in my casual observation of small-town drag queens). No one wants a transphobic drag queen (or king), and there's no pride event which would have one. This sentiment that drag queens (or maybe only drag done by cis-gendered performers?) MUST be anti-trans shows a lot of victim-mentality and even more ignorance about why drag exists.
Feb 5, 2015
commented on Savage Love
The key word in BIBFAULT's letter is "recently." So she's found this out a few months ago and they "tried" to work it out. So now its over?
I think Dan should advise them to keep trying. You're not going to get out of a 30 year bad-sex groove in a few months. Just as she felt inferior because she never came, now maybe he feels inferior because the ultimate nightmare of the "traditional" guy has come true: The wife likes her vibrator more than him.
Maybe a 30 year-long problem will take more than a few months to solve. Also, you were perfectly happy up until this point, what's changed? Are you going to start cheating on your husband because you learned how to get yourself off?
And what have you tried? Has he used the vibrator on you? Have you used it on yourself while he pounds away?
Dan's eagerness for non-monogamy certainly seems to be showing. Also, the grass is always greener, there's no guarantee that there is another man out there for you who is as good as your vibrator. Blowing up your marriage so readily over something you just discovered seems a bit rash.
I'm not saying she shouldn't (eventually) decide to move on, but I think a thirty year commitment is worth spending a while (maybe a few years) trying to fix/improve.
Sep 6, 2012
commented on Here's the Back of My Son's New High School ID
I'd bet the catholic school had a bunch of blank ID cards lying around and the public school bought them because they ran out and some admin. thought it would be a great way to save money.
Jul 9, 2010
joined My Stranger Face
Jul 9, 2010
commented on Gallagher Is a Paranoid, Right-Wing, Watermelon-Smashing Maniac
I wonder if defunct 80's comedians turning out to be tea-bagger nutjobs isn't a growing trend. Two weeks ago I had my vaguely positive childhood memories of Ray Stephens destroyed by being shown one of his psycho youtube rants (look for it, its fascinatingly horrible). I feel like he would not like that my 8-year-old proto-homosexual mind found his naked cartoon streaker-man to be indescribably interesting.