commented on Savage Love
@103 - I think Dan's exactly right that our egos can't get over being dumped, but I can elaborate from personal experience: I think there's also a part of our brain or psyche that tries to busy itself with thoughts in order to hide or forestall the real, deeper feelings underneath. That is to say, you can obsess all day about the person who dumped you, which is actually easier than looking at the cold hard fact that you're lonely and afraid you'll never find anyone else. The obsessive thoughts about the relationship are a kind of relationship proxy. If you can allow yourself to feel scared and alone, really feel it and open up to that vulnerability, I think the obsessive thoughts will dissipate. And – bonus – feeling that vulnerability can open you up to more connection and better relationships.
Oct 30, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Take a Pass On This Pastor
Good answer, Dan. I have often been in a similar quandary with straight friends. They ask, "Do you think I'm attractive?" and if you answer yes, they think you're after them, or if you answer no, they get all pouty and ask why not. It's a no-win.
Dec 21, 2012
commented on NRA Fantasy-Land
Hmm ... let's check this idea out with the 13 people who were killed and 29 who were wounded by one nut at Ft. Hood. Which, oh yes, by the way, is a place where everybody is issued a weapon.
Jul 14, 2011
commented on Viewing the World Through Rose-Colored Windows
Apple has a culture than Microsoft will never replicate. I had an very cool experience in an Apple store recently when I took my mom to buy a new iBook. The person who helped us was a woman almost my mother's age (65). I just can't see that in a Microsoft store.