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Tim Horton
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3:09 PM yesterday Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
@53 - I moved to the U.S. for grad school and never returned. However, seeing a 9 year old with an uzi, gunning down a weapons instructor at a range, that also pimps burgers, with no laws being broken in the process, makes me think that it may be time for ole Tim to pack the wagon back north.

Plus, the slogan of "roll up the rim to win" is all kinds of an awesome innuendo. For what it's worth, I am for sale for a lot less than 12.5B.
2:54 PM yesterday Tim Horton commented on Gay Bathhouses Are Going Extinct.
As a straight, I cannot even imagine the awesomeness of bathhouses. Or grindr. I feel like it's only fair that gays be denied something to level the playing field.
4:36 AM yesterday Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
ARTATB - In the short term, since you are mid-30s and fertility is about to rapidly decline, it is probably best that you do what you have to do to get him to climax in you during fertile days even if it means ball stretchers, or only using positions where you can reach his balls when he is in you. You have the rest of your lives to work on this but only a couple more years to conceive, especially if you want more than one shorty.

That being said, I am surprised by Dan's advice not to try to rewire him at some point. This guy can't even get an erection without specific ball stimulation. She has already become frustrated by the situation (so has he) which is understandable, and will only grow as their sex life becomes more predictable. (it would be helpful to know if he was ever able to get erect without ball tugging or if this is merely a rut he got himself into).

My best advice would be to hold off on the frequency of ejaculation and try having sex in the morning while his testosterone is high after he has gone several days without ejaculating. Get him hard by ball stimulation then have him enter you hard, release his balls and practice him staying hard in you as long as he can. Don't hold a funeral for his cock if it goes soft. Try try again. Hopefully, eventually his endurance can improve and once he can get erect without ball grabbing, the mental block will go away.
Aug 21 Tim Horton commented on SL Letter of the Day: Numbed and Confused.
Perhaps this is a surgical complication? Was this general anasthetic? If patient is large habitus could be a nerve injury from positioning. Screen for diabetes or other issues that could cause neuropathy. Electrophysiology or nerve conduction studies might help. This has nothing to do with routine circumcision.
Aug 21 Tim Horton commented on Everything Is Transphobic (But "Gay Men Draw Vaginas" Isn't).
I wonder if Dan Savage is concern trolling this stuff. The opening quote is: "[Some] online feminists have even deemed the word “vagina” problematic."

Are there really that many people who consider the inappropriate use of the word vagina an issue or are we talking about a lunatic fringe whose views should just be ignored because they are irrelevant as to power and influence. Is this sort of like how, for example, one can scroll Jezebel, find an angry commenter that believes the first drop of alcohol validates consent, and then make a blog against the angry feminists among us?

I admit that I live in a relatively insular bubble - I have never heard the term privilege or patirarchy outside this website, so there are obviously subcultures of thought outside the mainstream that exist that some take seriously. But assuming attitudes about vaginas being offensive are limited to a small subset of crazies, best to ignore them rather than waste time debating them and in the process giving legitimacy to their insanity.

Aug 20 Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
Mydriasis @23, I had the same thought. I am trying to imagine the feigned outrage I could muster if a hookup told me she only wanted me for my perfect cock.

In fairness, I suppose the equivilent for men is to be objectified for their money.

Alison @ 5 basically described my drug fueled college years with this gem: "Or he can just suck it up with the philosophy that any pizza is better than no pizza and try to get it up to boink her anyway." Well played.
Aug 15 Tim Horton commented on Stupid Boys Ruin Real Man's Love Life.
@6 - after his third date with a beautiful girl that he bought roses, chocolates and plastered innuendo her facebook wall, she told him she wasn't ready for a relationship. He asked why, first in person, then over text, through her friends, and rather than tell him she wasn't into him, made up some simplistic but believable excuse that she wasn't ready for a relationship because she has "trust" issue.
Aug 15 Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
@90, @105 - I am trying to see how you cut off a sexual encounter mid-sex without being a monstrous ass.

Extend this outside of the bedroom - dates, dinner hosting, job interviews. Sometimes things aren't going well. There are ways to get through these things without being rude to your guest/date/interview. You don't just get up halfway and declare "I am not feeling it" unless you are an insensitive prick with no regard as to whether you are shredding someones confidence and integrity. Obvious exceptions if someone - in or out of the bedroom - are violating reasonable norms of behaviour.

Caveat - obviously that I am a man and there maybe inherent psychological differences with penetration. But let me assure you that sex can be bad for men (especially condomed sex). I have been in several situations where I wasn't feeling it and wished it was over but would never dream of humiliating someone while naked and vulnerable by unilaterally and abrubtly stopping the action and declaring it over.
Aug 13 Tim Horton commented on Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?.
@20-22, for the record, I have never thought nor have said it was impossible to keep a lifetime monogamous commitment. And there are obviously exceptions to the rule that men have high sex drives and are non-monogamous by nature. Anyway, Dan Savage covered this in the archives a while ago, that basically all men want to have sex with women other than their partners, feel free to disagree with him.…

If your argument is that men have free will and it's as simple as "just say no" to the attractive women who are available, that is good in theory, bad in reality. If will power was fool proof, we wouldn't have fat people - everyone knows that overeating is bad for your health, just say no to that extra portion. No one would smoke after age 30. Or ever step foot in an Indian casino.

Kudos to those men who have no problem going through life without ever acting on a constant desire to have sex with someone other than their partner. I have the same admiration for them as those who get up at 5am and run before work.

Aug 12 Tim Horton commented on Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?.
@13 - my non-scientific theory: All else being equal, men are as faithful as their options. If you date the type of men who have options, you are more likely to be cheated on. If you are attracted to the more low profile, shy types, you have a better chance of your partner remaining faithful.

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