May 8
Avistew commented on SL Letter of the Day: What Kind of Straight Guys Watch Gay Porn?.
Are we sure the woman meant she watched gay MALE porn as opposed to gay FEMALE porn? Because if she meant "I'm attracted to guys and I like watching two guys together" and thought it was the same as a guy attracted to women watching two guys together (as opposed to two females together), that has to be one of the stupidest questions I've ever seen.
Feb 8
Avistew commented on House of Commons Backs Same-Sex Marriage.
The French Parliament, who is still working on the details of it all, voted 149 for and 97 against turning "marriage is a contract signed between two individuals of different sexes" into "marriage is a contract signed between two individuals of the same or different sexes".
Why didn't they just turn it into "marriage is a contract signed between two individuals" and leave it at that? Beats me.
Still lots of debating going on right now though. Most of the controversy seems to be about the fact that with marriage will come adoption rights, which same sex couples don't have access to so far (they can adopt individually but not adopt each other's children, even when they are in a civil union).
Why didn't they just turn it into "marriage is a contract signed between two individuals" and leave it at that? Beats me.
Still lots of debating going on right now though. Most of the controversy seems to be about the fact that with marriage will come adoption rights, which same sex couples don't have access to so far (they can adopt individually but not adopt each other's children, even when they are in a civil union).
Dec 10, 2012
Avistew commented on The City Hall of Love.
The older couples really got to me. I might be projecting, but I can just imagine them having been together for years, decades, most of their lives, and finally being able to get married, and it makes me teary-eyed.
The younger couples just give me a big grin. I'm so happy for all of them.
The younger couples just give me a big grin. I'm so happy for all of them.
Nov 26, 2012
Avistew commented on Is Polyamory a Sexual Orientation?.
I believe being polyamorous is part of my identity, of who I am, and I believe that it is not something I have control over. That is the part of my identity. I certainly have control over my actions, but then again, a bisexual person doesn't become straight when they're involved monogamously with the opposite gender. They're still bi and it's still part of them.
So I believe that even in a monogamous relationship, a polyamorous person is still polyamorous. That's why I believe that there is a difference between the relationship description, and the person's "relationship orientation". I don't think it's the best word do describe it, either, but I don't know of a better one.
Of course, it's not a sexual orientation the same way straight, gay, bi, pan and asexual are. A poly person can be any of these things, they're on a different level.
Nor does it mean that a poly person has to be constantly in love with more than one person (just like a mono person isn't constantly in love with one person).
But what I know is that when I was in a monogamous relationship, and trying my hardest to be monogamous, I was denying a part of who I am. I knew that I formed personal connections faster and more involved than the average person, and to control myself I had to stay away from situations where I could socialise. In the end, I became so paranoid about it that I left my job and didn't even go shopping.
Obviously, I was over-reacting. But it was terrifying to me that just by liking someone (not acting on it, just having feelings for them) I would already be committing emotional cheating and hurting my partner.
After I came out to my partner, I still didn't meet anyone else for two years. But during these two years, I felt free to be myself, and accepted, and nothing like the emotional wreck I was before.
I wouldn't describe polyamory as a fetish, or a sexual preference. I think it is just a different way of relating to people. And I do think some people are wired mono, some are wired poly, and some can go either way. And in that way, it seems similar to me to an orientation, albeit not a sexual one.
Had I understood more about myself, I would have told my partner from the get go. This relationship has ended now, it was years ago, and it can be hard to find partners who are fine with polyamory, but I remind myself that if they aren't, one of us is just going to end up hurting the other, and that's not what a healthy relationship is all about.
More...
So I believe that even in a monogamous relationship, a polyamorous person is still polyamorous. That's why I believe that there is a difference between the relationship description, and the person's "relationship orientation". I don't think it's the best word do describe it, either, but I don't know of a better one.
Of course, it's not a sexual orientation the same way straight, gay, bi, pan and asexual are. A poly person can be any of these things, they're on a different level.
Nor does it mean that a poly person has to be constantly in love with more than one person (just like a mono person isn't constantly in love with one person).
But what I know is that when I was in a monogamous relationship, and trying my hardest to be monogamous, I was denying a part of who I am. I knew that I formed personal connections faster and more involved than the average person, and to control myself I had to stay away from situations where I could socialise. In the end, I became so paranoid about it that I left my job and didn't even go shopping.
Obviously, I was over-reacting. But it was terrifying to me that just by liking someone (not acting on it, just having feelings for them) I would already be committing emotional cheating and hurting my partner.
After I came out to my partner, I still didn't meet anyone else for two years. But during these two years, I felt free to be myself, and accepted, and nothing like the emotional wreck I was before.
I wouldn't describe polyamory as a fetish, or a sexual preference. I think it is just a different way of relating to people. And I do think some people are wired mono, some are wired poly, and some can go either way. And in that way, it seems similar to me to an orientation, albeit not a sexual one.
Had I understood more about myself, I would have told my partner from the get go. This relationship has ended now, it was years ago, and it can be hard to find partners who are fine with polyamory, but I remind myself that if they aren't, one of us is just going to end up hurting the other, and that's not what a healthy relationship is all about.
Oct 2, 2012
Avistew commented on Straight Women: Your Birth Control Pills Are Turning Men Gay.
Wait. Everyone needs to make babies all the time or they're going against God's plan? Wasn't this video made by nuns?
Way to go against God's will, ladies. Think of all the babies you're murdering once a month!
Way to go against God's will, ladies. Think of all the babies you're murdering once a month!
Jul 21, 2012
Avistew commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Pair of DTMFAs.
Any guy who tries to shame you for your sexuality is someone you're better off without. A good guy might not be in the mood, but he won't blame you for being in it, and he'll probably be willing to cuddle while you masturbate.
Trying to make you the bad guy because he's unwilling to do to you things he demand you do to him is another bad sign.
But really, the big rule is that someone who is good for you will make you feel happy, fulfilled, worthy, and will make you want to constantly improve yourself and be the best person you could ever be. As the relationship advances, you'll love yourself more and more.
Someone who is bad for you will make you feel crappy, unworthy, and scared to leave because who else would want to be with such a loser? And as the relationship advances, you'll like yourself less and less.
Trying to make you the bad guy because he's unwilling to do to you things he demand you do to him is another bad sign.
But really, the big rule is that someone who is good for you will make you feel happy, fulfilled, worthy, and will make you want to constantly improve yourself and be the best person you could ever be. As the relationship advances, you'll love yourself more and more.
Someone who is bad for you will make you feel crappy, unworthy, and scared to leave because who else would want to be with such a loser? And as the relationship advances, you'll like yourself less and less.
Jul 2, 2012
Avistew commented on What a Piece of Work Is Man.
5 inches circumference is definitely average. That's a bit over one and a half inch in diameter.
The action of the glans is kind of old news for me, but it's always nice to read about it.
The action of the glans is kind of old news for me, but it's always nice to read about it.
Jul 1, 2012
Avistew commented on Are You a Queer Women Who Dates "Women and Trans Men"?.
So does "women and trans men" mean "cis women and trans men", and the person is offended that cis women were only called women, or does it mean "cis or trans women and trans men" and the person is offended because of something else?
I'm not sure quite what is offensive about being attracted to who you're attracted to. If I'm attracted to someone I think is male, and I'm a straight female, and they turn out to be a trans woman, I don't think I insulted them by being attracted to their body, as much as they might dislike said body.
I'm not sure quite what is offensive about being attracted to who you're attracted to. If I'm attracted to someone I think is male, and I'm a straight female, and they turn out to be a trans woman, I don't think I insulted them by being attracted to their body, as much as they might dislike said body.
May 15, 2012
Avistew commented on The FDA May Approve a Daily Anti-Retroviral Drug for HIV-Negative Gay Men Who Don't Use Condoms.
I was going to say what #1 said. I believe it's not something that should be targeted at people who don't use condoms consistently. I believe it should be targeted at people at risk who want even more security than just condoms, and will keep using condoms regardless. People with a positive partner (who already use condoms), people with multiple partners (who already use condoms) and in all cases it should be clearly marked as something that only works if you use condoms, and make things worse if you don't.
Apr 4, 2012
Avistew commented on Savage Love.
I have cats and I couldn't be less attracted to them sexually. But when I masturbate (laying on my front) you bet they're jumping on me all the time.
Sometimes they have the decency to wait, and they all come to get petted as soon as I'm done orgasming, but honestly, it's not much better.
If he was attracted to cats, he'd probably be masturbating with the cat, or getting the cat to lick him or something. You can't just interrupt whenever a cat gets in contact with you or you'd never have an orgasm.
About the enlarging problem, he doesn't need to enlarge his penis for his girlfriend to say all these things. He might want to try if that alone works for him.
Sometimes they have the decency to wait, and they all come to get petted as soon as I'm done orgasming, but honestly, it's not much better.
If he was attracted to cats, he'd probably be masturbating with the cat, or getting the cat to lick him or something. You can't just interrupt whenever a cat gets in contact with you or you'd never have an orgasm.
About the enlarging problem, he doesn't need to enlarge his penis for his girlfriend to say all these things. He might want to try if that alone works for him.
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