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Straight Suckers

May 9, 2002

By Dan Savage
I'm a straight male who wants to suck some cock. I don't want anything else, just to suck someone else's dick. I want this to be very discreet, and absolutely safe. I don't want anyone to know I did this, and I also don't want any diseases. Any suggestions?

Wanna Be Cock Sucker

Like all straight guys who wanna suck a little cock (and there seems to be a ton of you out there), you want two big things (besides cock): safety and discretion. Unfortunately for straight male cocksuckers like you, WBCS, discreet blowjobs often aren't safe, and safe blowjobs aren't usually discreet.

Try to keep up: The most discreet blowjobs are the anonymous ones given in sex clubs, cruisy parks, toilets, and other notorious sleaze pits. Give a blowjob under a bush in the middle of the night and your friends probably won't find out about it. Unfortunately, the men you meet under bushes tend to be sleaze pits themselves and most will be carrying at least one STD. The safest blowjobs, on the other hand, are the ones you give to someone you know and trust and have been dating for at least a few months. Unfortunately, dating isn't very discreet. Your friends may meet him, or see you two together, and suspect something.

So before you can choose a course of action, WBCS, you have to decide which is more important to you: Safety? Or discretion? If you're like most straight male wannabe-cocksuckers, discretion is of more importance. Most STDs can be cured or endured, but getting caught with a dick in your mouth forever makes you a fag in the eyes of your friends and family.

Which brings us, in a roundabout way, to David.

"The first thing I would urge WBCS to do is CALL ME," said David, an escort/bodyworker in Seattle, Washington, when I shared your letter with him. David has come to the aid of a lot of straight men in your predicament. (You can check David out by visiting his website, davidinseattle.com.) "If he's really concerned about anonymity and discretion, the most obvious option is to call an escort or a bodyworker."

I don't have any proof, but I have a hunch that an upscale male escort charging $250 an hour is less likely to have an STD than your average skank under a bush giving it away for free. To find an upscale escort, David recommends www.male4malescorts.com, a website that offers explicit reviews (good and bad) of male escorts all over the world. "Once you find an escort attached to the cock you want to suck," David continued, "book an appointment."

And what about those pesky STDs?

"Don't be afraid to inquire about [your escort's] HIV status," David said. You should also ask your escort about other STDs he might have, like herpes, hepatitis, syphilis, or gonorrhea--all of which can be transmitted through oral sex. "Look him in the eye, and when he gives you his answer you gotta listen to that little voice in the back of your head. If he says he's clean and you believe him, get down on your knees. On the other hand, if you don't believe him and he gives you the creeps, pay him for his time and get the hell out."

So you asked your escort if he was clean, you looked him in the eye, and he seemed to be telling the truth... but what if he's not? Well, that's a risk you'll have to take, if you wanna suck cock discreetly.


I am a straight guy who's curious about men. I've had enough blowjobs to know good from bad, and I'm sure I'll suck a mean cock. My concern is buttfucking. Or, rather, getting buttfucked. Can you offer any tricks to help us "straight" guys out? Yeah, I know that if I am sucking cock and getting buttfucked, it sort of compromises my "straight" status, but we live in a democracy, don't we?

How to Serve Men

"First off, George W. Bush is our president," said David, "so we don't live in a democracy. Secondly, cocksucking is an art, and can only be learned by doing it--a lot of it. Just because you've had your share doesn't mean you'll be good."

Setting aside blowjobs, what does David recommend you do to get your ass in gear?

"Get to know your asshole," said David. "Lube up your fingers and work them around until you can get at least three digits inside. Then pull up your pants and go visit a sex shop and purchase a moderately sized dildo." David suggests that you practice with your dildo until you start to enjoy it. "Then you're ready for the real thing. Always use a condom and don't let someone come inside of you, even with a condom on. I'm one of those rare gay guys who doesn't enjoy a cock up his ass, so the rest of my advice is not from personal experience but from what friends have told me: Make sure you're both good and lubed up. Make sure he goes really slow. Breathe and relax."


I was dating this girl for about a year when at some point I finally admitted that, as much as I loved her, I also found guys attractive on some levels. I'm sure I will never get penetrated unless I am sedated or something because I just feel like I won't like it, so I don't feel like I'm a totally gay person. But now I have a friend who I'm not sure if he's gay or not but everyone seems to think he is and I do too but I am not sure but I really really like him and he likes me a lot too and I'm not sure what to do. Every time he looks at me I wish I could tell him about my homo feelings for him, but I'm afraid we won't be friends anymore.

What can I do to let him know without actually saying anything? I want him to get the idea that I'm into him without freaking him out. He has been to my house many times and he spends the night but I don't know what to do next.

Mostly Straight Boy

If you're attracted to this guy, MSB, and you think he might be attracted to you, there's only one way to move the ball down the field: Make that pass, kiddo. If he's spending the night at your place, and if all your friends think he's gay (and it's not just wishful thinking on your part), then he probably is gay. So tell him you're into him, or, if you want to tell him without saying anything, lay a kiss on him the next time he sleeps over. Either way, you risk losing his friendship if it turns out he's not gay. But it's a risk you're going to have to take.

Finally, MSB, you sound like a full-blown homo to me. Yes, yes: You loved a girl once. So did I. Finding the odd girl attractive and even managing to fuck a few of 'em doesn't make you straight. Nor does finding the idea of being penetrated repulsive--I mean, look at David. He's as gay as they come and he doesn't take it up the ass. Being gay isn't about being penetrated, it's about who you fall in love with, and it sounds like you've fallen in love with a guy. Maybe he's the exception, but somehow I doubt it. Don't you?

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Comments (13) RSS

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1
i gave my first blowjob at 13 to my mate and (and i thaught he was straight) now see each other and go out very often now, so i think just go for it.

p.s i am a male and gay and loving it
Posted by Tim and Tom together in love on April 7, 2010 at 11:57 AM · Report
2
Don't let someone come inside of you, even with a condom on? Why is that? Is it because of risk of condom breakage? I've never heard this, and I'm wondering if it is a reasoning specific to gay men. (Admittedly, I'm a woman, so there are probably a lot of things I haven't heard about gay-man-sex.)
Posted by AK on May 5, 2010 at 12:36 PM · Report
3
What do you think?? My husband of 40 years was going to a man for Oral sex for the last three years until he got caught. Swears he is not gay. Always came [no pun intended] right home from work. Once a month got stuck in traffic as he told me, That was when he went to this mans house. Called the man frequently during the day while working. Said he seperated the sex from the friendship. I spoke to man also. Could he [my husband]be gay?? He has Been going to councellers and group to try and work out marriage. Find out he was abused as a child, but I cannot buy this as an excuse??? Wehad a great sex life. NEVER thought he would ever lay in bed with a man. How can a man go receive oral sex from a man in bed and not be gay??
Posted by confused on October 20, 2010 at 12:45 AM · Report
4
You should be asking Dan about this, not commenters. But hey. It's not impossible for a guy to identify as straight but want to play with cock every now and again. As Dan says, 'Being gay isn't about being penetrated, it's about who you fall in love with'. Maybe your husband is in love with you, but has a craving for a guy's touch every now and again.
Posted by Anmmlml on October 20, 2010 at 4:30 AM · Report
5
My husband was looking for a guy to give him a blowjob. He told me he was doing it for the adrenaline rush and that he is not gay. He is the horniest man on the planet and I don't question he loves and is sexually attracted to me, I'm just a little confused on what to think. He has an addictive personality and am wondering if it's something along those lines... Any thoughts?
Posted by ladylove on January 25, 2011 at 8:31 AM · Report
6
I'. m a str8 male in columbia, and I want cocks in my mouth , my aasshole 24/7 cameras are allowed....i want to be totallly exploited formy holes, want to be fucked royally...gangfbanged, til i cant walk right....a whore!
Posted by rapemy holes on March 11, 2011 at 6:22 PM · Report
7
ladylove-can't give you an absolute answer either way. There ARE closeted gay guys who get in fake marriages and continue to troll for sex on the side, and then give flimsy reasons if caught(though i think there's less and less of this all the time as it becomes easier to be openly gay) but there also very much ARE genuinely straight guys who experiment or are curious, or who just want to seek easy blowjobs without the emotional entangelment of a woman.

Not knowing your husband...there's no way i can say.
Posted by jw23 on May 31, 2011 at 3:09 PM · Report
8
I think sometimes straight guys just want to receive a blowjob from someone who is really into giving them, who does it well, and where they can relax completely and don't need to worry about pleasing the other person (because blowing them is already the ultimate pleasure for that person). They don't even need to be attracted to the person to enjoy the blowjob - after all, a guy can enjoy his hand or pillow without being attracted to it. It is easier to find gay or bi guys who fit this than a woman. In heterosex, it tends to be all about pleasing the woman, and that it hard work. Sometimes a guy just needs a day off.
Posted by cockyballsup on June 28, 2011 at 3:41 PM · Report
9
im from leeds i would meet someone to see what sucking someone off is like im a lad tho
Posted by csy1995 on October 29, 2011 at 6:57 PM · Report
10
Excuse me, but I found your answer to this guys questin to be an incredibly stupid and irresponsible one. You steer him to an escort? You have him ask the escort if he has any STDs or is HIV positive. If hey says yes, he should get on his knees and blow him. WITHOUT a condom??? WTF Dan?! You should have told him to use a condom for oral sex. Problem solved! Have SAFE oral sex with a condom is the safest sex there is.
Posted by safebibud on January 17, 2012 at 10:55 AM · Report
11
Use a condom and you w t have to worry about getting an STD or HIV. just suck a dick with a condom. Problem solved.
Posted by safebibud on January 17, 2012 at 11:01 AM · Report
12
Hi im a lad from gloucestershire and i wanna know what is like to suck a cock. Any offers
Posted by cock on May 3, 2012 at 12:50 PM · Report
13
i love to try it my self i love cock
Posted by marcus boersma on June 6, 2012 at 6:41 PM · Report

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