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Roll With It

May 13, 2004

By Dan Savage
You had to know letters would pour in from women pissed off at your blatantly fat-phobic, sexist response to Butter with Your Rolls, the man who thought "girl love handles" created by low-rise jeans were "revolting." You agreed with him "100 percent," and said that women "should get the obesity epidemic under control" if we want to "flounce around in belly-and-backside- exposing pants."

Where the holy fuck do you get off saying what women are or are not allowed to wear? Here's some news, Dan, for you and all your fat-hating, sexist buddies: Women's bodies belong to women. Fuck you and your fascist beauty standards. Contrary to popular belief, not every woman wants to bow down and worship at the temple of your penis.

Fuck All Totalitarianism

As much as it might pain you, FAT, you need to go back and re-read BWYR's letter. He didn't say that only fat women looked bad in low-rise jeans. He pointed out that only a "select few" women look good in low-rise jeans and begged "women who are overweight, tubby, fat, or just not properly proportioned to STOP wearing jeans that show off or create rolls!" Most women don't have the kind of bodies that look good in low-rise jeans, fat or not.

In my response to BWYR, I stated that I agreed with him 100 percent--low-rise jeans are a visual blight. They look terrible on most people, particularly obese people. But pointing out that something isn't flattering isn't the same thing as saying that the person wearing the unflattering garment is unattractive or has to worship at the temple of my penis. God forbid. Women can, of course, wear whatever the hell they want. It's a free country. But that "free country" shit goes both ways, FAT. BWYR and I are free to think that low-rise jeans look terrible on most people and say so in public.

Finally, I didn't say that women have to get the obesity epidemic under control, FAT, I said that "we" do, all of us, male and female.

In anticipation of a GLH backlash, I'm writing from the ranks of the non-low-rise-wearing masses to thank you for the sound fashion advice. There's nothing misogynistic in telling it like it is. I've never found being a big girl a significant hurdle to getting dates, getting laid, or getting engaged, actually, to a hot, smart fella. It's simply been a matter of working what I've got, rather than working what I've got too much of, or trying to work what I wish I had. Your advice is analogous to telling a friend she's got spinach stuck between her otherwise perfectly lovely teeth.

Fan in Portland

Thanks for sharing, FIP.

Take a letter about "girl love handles," mix in not one but two mentions of the obesity epidemic, and publish. The result? Thousands of women all over the country developing eating disorders, bulimia, and anorexia, all because they don't fit some arbitrary standard of beauty.

The Harm U Do

Take a hike, THUD.

It's an article of faith that we can't talk about how much crap we're eating--or how awful we look in low-rise jeans--without inducing eating disorders in millions of silly and suggestible young women. But in his brilliant book Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World, Greg Critser blows this bullshit argument out of the water. "[Does] fat awareness somehow [cause] eating disorders? ...The data--and the experience of physicians, health workers, and others in the field--consistently indicate otherwise," he writes. Our obsession with anorexia, Critser goes on, not only covers up America's true eating disorder (we eat too much and we're too fat!), but it also hamstrings efforts to combat obesity, a condition that kills almost as many people every year as smoking does. Eating disorders, by way of comparison, lead to only a handful of deaths every year. If you're truly concerned about the health and well-being of young women, THUD, worry more about the skyrocketing rates of obesity-related diseases in young people--like type 2 diabetes--and less about the imaginary link between anorexia and my low opinion of low-rise jeans. Jeez!

FAT!SO? says fuck you! It saddens me to know that you continue to cling to your fat-hating prejudice. The same attempts were made to stuff queers back in the closet, just as you are now attempting to stuff proud fat rebels (and our low-rise jeans) back in our closet. Fuck you! You're not required to like us or look at us or fuck us, but you are required to stay the hell out of the way of our liberation! My health is not in danger from my weight. (I eat right, exercise, and enjoy excellent health.) However, your health may be endangered if you persist in promoting weight-based prejudice. (Really, all that stress every time you step on the scale... it can't be good for you!)

Marilyn Wann

www.fatso.com

There's a difference between hating fat people, Marilyn, and thinking fat folks don't look so hot in low-rise jeans. (And there's nothing "fat-hating" about being realistic about the health consequences of obesity! Please!) And frankly, I don't see what's so freaking "rebellious," you fat rebel you, about wearing ill-fitting pants. Who decided low-rise jeans were fashionable? The same fashionistas who set the beauty standards that are such a torment to fat people everywhere. A true fat rebel would ignore the low-rise dictates of the fashionistas and wear pants that flattered her larger body, leaving the low-rise pants for cigarette-smoking, chardonnay-swilling, solid-food-avoiding fashion victims out there.

Please tell BWYR that he doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about. I love women with a gut and love seeing their bare midriffs! Seeing a bit of gut hanging out of a low-rise jean makes me very hot!

Loves Soft Rolls

And what if seeing naked, cute, skinny guys bent over at the waist with their wrists tied to their ankles made me very hot? (Strictly a hypothetical, Mom, I swear.) Should the fact that I find this sight arousing compel others to have to view it too? Or should I be respectful of others and go to gay SM parties and/or Iraqi prisons administered by the U.S. armed forces if I want to see shit like that?

If you are going to tell women that low-rise jeans only look good on a handful of people, then please also tell men that only a handful look good with no shirt at all! I would much rather be subjected to GLH than beer-gutted, love-handled, hairy-backed men all summer.

Heather

At the risk of inducing anorexia in millions of young men, I have to say that I agree with you 100 percent, Heather. Beer-gutted, love-handled, hairy-backed men shouldn't go shirtless in summer. Or any other season.

mail@savagelove.net

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Comments (9) RSS

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1
Do you know what's really frightening? Exposed midriffs and low rise jeans are as ubiquitous as ever six years later! Same with clingy nit tops. Size 16's squeezing themselves into size 8's. BARF!
Posted by Drew K on February 13, 2010 at 9:18 AM · Report
2
Seriously! I, female and well-proportioned, but not all that skinny, hate those jeans. And yet they are so ubiquitous that appropriate-rise jeans are really hard to find! My non-low-rise jeans are Carharts. Can we get some slim and sexy but non-low-rise jeans on the market? Please??

(Okay, I did once find a great used pair that originally came from Abercrombie and Fitch, but I have a hard time actually going into that store. That's my own problem though.)
Posted by AK on May 15, 2010 at 6:10 PM · Report
3
Wow. I'm trying to figure out exactly how much you are satirizing this position. But honestly, if you are satirizing it, your actual views seem so close to the parody that I have to take it seriously. I am usually a Dan devotee, but talk about dickish. I'm 6'0" and 185 lb. So, you know, normal for a straight guy but totally gross for a gay guy (which I am). I have lovehandles. Eeeewwww. I wish that, like you and your boyfriend, I too got the privilege of going to the beach and getting a tan. But don't worry, I won't be there to offend your eyes with my flab.

Although this column won't itself cause anorexia in young gay kids, authorizing fat-disgust will contribute to a culture that does. I wonder how many of those gay teens who have committed suicide have done so in part because they were chunky and knew that they couldn't even flee to the cities to find acceptance and love. If you are going to hold so many bigoted Christians accountable for their role in ruining the lives of teens, maybe you should also consider how your words and celebrity status within the gay community affect fat gay youth. Some percent of those kids will start exercising, some percent will binge and purge, and some percent will use that and a thousand other slights to justify killing themselves. Just sayin'. Pretty shitty, Mr. Savage.
Posted by DMElkins *registered* on February 11, 2011 at 6:08 PM · Report
4
Aww poor Dan doesn't like seeing fat people. Cry, cry, cry. Well, unfortunately for those who are grossed out by men kissing, we have to put up with you, too. Or, hopefully, you just don't do that disgusting shit in public.

Honestly, do you need some help digging yourself a hole here? Could you use a bigger shovel?
Posted by mck on February 13, 2011 at 6:58 AM · Report
5
r u people real?! have you nothing better to do in your misbegotten lives than hurl insults at eachother about how you do/don'tlook or what you think or dont think about what someone looks like?
there's been an attempt at a democratic change in egypt, south & north somalia have split, missionaries are being murdered by islamists in pakistan, iraq & whathaveyou, the pope is trying to beatify a nazi collaborator, on one hand, and a man who was behind the coverup of raping priests on the other, forget palestinians, jews in sweden, BP buying an oil firm from the russian mafia, bankers living off of your tax dollars, and all you've got to worry about is calories?
get a life!!!!!!
Posted by oferdesade on February 13, 2011 at 8:40 AM · Report
6
r u people real?! have you nothing better to do in your misbegotten lives than hurl insults at eachother about how you do/don'tlook or what you think or dont think about what someone looks like?
there's been an attempt at a democratic change in egypt, south & north somalia have split, missionaries are being murdered by islamists in pakistan, iraq & whathaveyou, the pope is trying to beatify a nazi collaborator, on one hand, and a man who was behind the coverup of raping priests on the other, forget palestinians, jews in sweden, BP buying an oil firm from the russian mafia, bankers living off of your tax dollars, and all you've got to worry about is calories?
get a life!!!!!!
Posted by oferdesade on February 13, 2011 at 8:44 AM · Report
7
Anyone who's watched half a season of "What Not to Wear" knows that it's not about whether or not you're proportioned like a supermodel, it's how you dress the body you have to look your best. A majority of the women they work with on the show are, by "beauty" standards, overweight - yet the hosts always manage to show them how to focus on their assets.

There's no "you need to lose weight"; it's all about "you have a good figure, so let's emphasize your waist, instead of hiding it under a shapeless mass of shirt" sorts of things.

More importantly, the people they work with invariably come out of the session with a healthier view about the body they have, instead of internalizing a lot of guilt about not looking like the supermodel type. What leads to anorexia and other eating disorders isn't simply being overweight, or other people commenting on one's being overweight. It's the desire to look good coupled with no idea of how to make what you have look good that leads these girls and women (since it's overwhelmingly a female disorder) to conclude the only solution is weight loss by any means.
Posted by cowboyinbrla on February 17, 2011 at 6:04 PM · Report
8
Wow, your description of "What Not to Wear" made it sound so positive that I went to check it out online.

The first clip I found was about how to hide lumps and bumps under clothing. Turns out they've got all the women wearing "shapewear" - tight underwear that sucks in the fat, kind of like a girdle. The host said, "about 99 percent of all women who have been on What Not To Wear have left with some form of shapeware."

So much for being happy with the body you have!

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/what-not…
Posted by LiveAndLet on July 14, 2011 at 1:57 PM · Report
9
I wanted to agree with the first comment and dan's opinion. In the era of low rise jeans it was impossible to find a pair that didn't have a two in. Zipper. I'm not big on buying clothes. I try to get some pants and get out. I'm not really interested in trying on sashes and pleated skirts - experimenting with complimenting my shape- so in short. I hated those pants too.
I've been going through the savage love archives and have really appreciated dan's view on Fat. I think that dans column is all about taking the time to think about your inner life, being honest and taking action to make yourself happy. So it would follow that weight is an important part of that. It's easy to get angry at all the things being done To you but in the end you have the ability to make yourself happy. And nobody should be eating Doritos- so keep preaching Dan!
Posted by Sexykittymowmow on March 20, 2012 at 9:34 AM · Report

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