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Cut & Uncut for Kerry

October 28, 2004

I have a serious problem. I am pregnant with a boy. At first my husband and I were in agreement that we would not circumcise him. I have read that the foreskin is comparable to a clit--all the nerves and stuff that make sex more pleasurable. But now my husband says he has changed his mind based on brief conversations he had with two people. One woman said that when she saw her ex-boyfriend's uncircumcised penis it was a "deal killer." She wouldn't fuck him because of it. The second woman said her boyfriend's son had to get circumcised at age 13 because "boys just don't clean it and it causes all sorts of problems." I have seen an uncircumcised penis and although I did not have the pleasure of fucking it (in order to get first-hand knowledge of the situation) I gladly would have had the circumstances been different. And how hard is it to clean a dick? That 13-year-old just needed to shower more often, in my opinion. My questions are: Do women (or men) gag at the site of an uncircumcised penis? Do men prefer to be circumcised? Will my son be mentally scarred for life because he has a "deal killer" of a dick or will he be scarred because we cut off his foreskin? Help me Savage-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

A.Z.

First off, A.Z., the foreskin is not, as some anti-circumcision activists insist, "comparable to a clit." The head of the penis, the glans, is the clit's male counterpart. Remove a woman's clit or the head of a man's cock, and you destroy the ability of that woman or man to experience any sexual pleasure at all. Remove a man's foreskin and he'll usually get by--and get off--just fine without it.

Second, I empathize with the difficult position you're in, A.Z., as I found myself in the exact same position six years ago. My boyfriend and I had just adopted a newborn boy and we were at odds over the circumcision issue. My boyfriend came down on the "Won't he feel weird if his penis doesn't look like his fathers'?" side of the argument, whereas I came down on the "How often do guys stand around comparing dicks with their dads?" side. Ultimately my position carried the day and we didn't get our son circumcised and today we both feel we made the right decision.

Third, I'm going to quickly run through your questions before I terrify you with a gut-wrenching tale of woe: Some men and women gag at the site of an uncircumcised penis, A.Z., but they're assholes that you wouldn't want your grown son to fuck anyway, right? Besides, circumcision rates in the United States are falling--just 65 percent of all newborn males are circumcised today--so the men and/or women your son will one day be fucking and/or be fucked by are unlikely to be disgusted by an uncut cock, A.Z., as they will either have encountered more of them or they'll have one themselves. As for whether or not men prefer to be circumcised, well, most cut men are happy with their dicks, A.Z., and most uncut men are happy with theirs. The thing about the unhappy cut men, though, is that they can't get uncut, you know what I'm saying?

And that brings us to point four, the tale of woe I mentioned...

I am 24 years old and lost my entire glans penis, the head of my dick, in a botched circumcision. Basically I have a shaft but there's no head at the end. Unfortunately, I was left with my balls so I still have a sex drive, but it's nearly impossible for me to climax. When I was much younger, around 14 to 16, I could sometimes masturbate to a climax, but after a couple of years I stopped being able to do this. Some of the women I've been with never saw the condition of my penis, and failed to notice when I didn't come. Others have seen my condition before intercourse and refused to have sex with me, while still others found out afterwards, after I wasn't able to come, and then never wanted to have sex with me again. Of course I never dare to ask anyone to suck me, although this might provide the necessary extra stimulation and actually help me climax.

So my problem, Dan, is twofold: I can't come and I can't get anyone to stick around and help me try to come. Can you suggest any special techniques for someone in my condition? Any help would be appreciated. I'm very miserable, frustrated, and lonely.

Mutilated and Comeless

Okay, A.Z., after reading MAC's letter, and after insisting your husband read MAC's letter, is circumcision really something you want to risk? I know, I know, "complications," as it's delicately put, are rare after circumcision. But even if the odds are low--even if they're infinitesimal--the thought of having to look your glans-less son in the eye one day and say, "We're awfully sorry about that botched circumcision, son, but your father and I used to know this woman who once dumped a guy because he was uncircumcised, you see, and we didn't want to risk that ever happening to you... and... so. Sorry."

Speaking parent to parent, A.Z., and speaking as a contentedly circumcised adult male who likes his dick just the way it is and has no truck whatsoever with hysterical anti-circumcision activists (whew!), I would rather teach my son to wash under his foreskin than assume even the tiniest risk of him losing the head of his penis in a botched circumcision.

Okay, MAC, on to you...

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Rarely am I left speechless or bereft of any suggestions at all after reading a letter, MAC, but, Christ Almighty, I haven't the faintest idea what to tell you. But I ache for you, kiddo, and so I'm throwing open the switchboards here at Savage Love HQ and putting out a call for advice from my resourceful readers. If anyone out there has any expertise on headless dicks or knows of any special techniques for people in MAC's condition, please write in. Write in right now.

Devote at least one column before Election Day to telling all your readers to vote for John Kerry, Dan. I recently spoke to a guy who didn't know or care if Kerry was the Republican or George Bush was the Democrat. He only knew that he was voting for Kerry because "Howard Stern told [him] to." If Howard Stern can convince one person to vote for Kerry, then you can convince 50. You might be reluctant to use your column as a political platform, Dan, but please use your influence to help get that madman, George W. Bush, out of office!

Anyone but Bush

I suppose it would be alright if just this once, ABB, I transformed my sex column into a political platform. And while it's doubtful that I inspire the same degree of slavish devotion in my readers that Howard Stern inspires in his listeners, I will encourage--beg, demand, order--all of my American readers to vote for John Kerry on November 2. If there are any undecideds out there reading this in swing states (do you hear me, Ohio?), or, God for-fucking-bid, any Nader supporters reading this, do the right thing and vote for Kerry!

mail@savagelove.net

 

Commenting was not available when this article was originally published.

Comments (10) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
There are two ways to look at circumcision. The first is that the decision is either a right or a wrong decision. The second, and correct way, to see it is that it is not your decision to make. your son's body = your son's choice and your son's human rights. Protect the innocent, fight routine infant circumcision.
Posted by towards relativism on December 27, 2008 at 12:46 PM · Report this
2
Whatever you think about cleanliness or anything else, it is NOT YOUR DICK and NOT YOUR CHOICE to do genital cutting on an infant.

Let him decide if he prefers to be cut or uncut when he becomes an adult. 80% of the world's men are uncut and have *no problem*.
Posted by KK Slider on September 9, 2009 at 1:33 PM · Report this
3
Maybe it's just my mumma bear instincts, but if I have a son I'm not letting anyone come near his penis with a scalple. As far as I'm concerned it's unnesisary and painful for him.
Then maybe that's a little hypocritical of me because if I have a little girl I'm planning on having her ears peiced - not when she's born but when she's about 5.
Posted by MummaBear on October 27, 2009 at 5:55 PM · Report this
4
With technology available now a circumcised man could have a foreskin transplant and a missing glans can also be replaced by transplant.Look up non-vital transplant or do a search and you will find that hands,faces,penises and other non vital organs have now been transplanted from people that have donated their bodies to medicine and a foreskin or glans would be easier than a hand/face/penis.
Posted by mp510mm on January 19, 2010 at 3:21 AM · Report this
5
I Found this and wanted everyone to see it.

foregen org projects

A major biomedical institute in the United States has agreed with foregen to perform a trial on human foreskin regeneration, with technology and materials that have already been FDA-approved and over which protective patents exist, and by a committed team of expert practising US surgeons, urologists and cosmetic surgeons. The trial will involve the participation of a trial group of 10-25 volunteer healthy adult participants resident in the United States, and will take place late in 2010.
Posted by gemini on April 24, 2010 at 4:34 PM · Report this
6
This story of the guy losing hs glans was just brought to my attention at another forum. This is very sad. One thing he might try is foreskin restoration. Not the surgical type, but instead the non surgical type.

I am close to finishing my own restoration this way. And there are two reasons I suggest that this might help him.

First, I have come to find out that the foreskin plays a huge role in sexual feelings. It seems to be the movement of the foreskin, rather than the sensitivity of the glans. So by restoring his foreskin, it could be that he will then be able to orgasm more easily. That is how it works for me.

Second, by having a foreskin, his lack of a glans will be much less noticeable. This may help him feel better, and may give people a chance to get more comfortable with him and less likely to dismiss him and run away.

This is a terrible tragedy that should never have happened. Only in a society that can't deal with sex in a reasonable way, combined with doctors who are clueless and passive agressively promoting infant circumcsion, instead of carrying out their proper duties.

Regards
Posted by Greg_B on May 7, 2010 at 3:41 AM · Report this
7
I prefer INTACT men! just show him what could happen! and ask him if it's really worth it!

Check it out:
http://infocirc.org/fourn.htm

http://enfant.ovh.org/text.html#photos

please go to
www.nocirc.org

www.noharm.org

www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org

you have back up!
It is discriminatory to say a man cant can't wash his penis like a girl can wash her crotch!
Why should Cleanliness for a boy mean surgery and a for a girl soap and water?

ONLY 32.5% of boys were circumcised in 2009 in the USA so the whole argument that the intact intact "uncircumcised" man is is rare and the "deal breaker" will be null and void by the time your baby is having sex! In fact if you circ him HE WILL BE THE "DEAL BREAKER" and you will likely run into him coming home and asking you "Why did you chop off part of my dick? Who told you that you could take part of penis away? It's not your penis!"
Posted by Vicki_E on September 11, 2010 at 9:17 PM · Report this
8
I prefer INTACT men! just show him what could happen! and ask him if it's really worth it!

Check it out:
http://infocirc.org/fourn.htm

http://enfant.ovh.org/text.html#photos

please go to
www.nocirc.org

www.noharm.org

www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org

you have back up!
It is discriminatory to say a man cant can't wash his penis like a girl can wash her crotch!
Why should Cleanliness for a boy mean surgery and a for a girl soap and water?

ONLY 32.5% of boys were circumcised in 2009 in the USA so the whole argument that the intact intact "uncircumcised" man is is rare and the "deal breaker" will be null and void by the time your baby is having sex! In fact if you circ him HE WILL BE THE "DEAL BREAKER" and you will likely run into him coming home and asking you "Why did you chop off part of my dick? Who told you that you could take part of penis away? It's not your penis!"
Posted by Vicki_E on September 11, 2010 at 9:21 PM · Report this
9
Circumcision is elective surgery.

My main argument against it is that it is not informed consent.

Culturally, it's common enough that one could decide either way, and not be considered unreasonable.

Legally though, I'm surprised that non consensual genital mutilation (which essentially it is, although so common, we've almost forgotten what nature gave us.) is allowed.

I wonder if this isn't some sort of social/cultural sexual repression.

I'm cut, and I resent not having been given the choice. I've told my three sons that if they want it done, I will pay for it.
Posted by Rawkcuf on September 13, 2010 at 8:46 AM · Report this
10
All these women who say foreskin is dirty blah, blah...,are just but a bunch of idiots who have been fed with useless propaganda. A vagina is situated in a more difficult position than a penis, but as men we have learnt to accept that and we love it. How dare you say a penis which is an external body part and which ejoys fresh air than a vagina produces adore?
Posted by mathew on September 17, 2010 at 7:45 AM · Report this

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