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You've Got Anti-Male
January 14, 2010
I am a 34-year-old straight, single female. My fantasy is to be blindfolded, bent over a table/couch/whatever, and fucked by whoever happens to walk by. I realize this would have to take place in a safe environment, but most sex clubs or parties tend to be for swingers, specifically couples. There's a sex club nearby that looks like it might cater to my fantasy, but can I just walk in off the street and bend over? Do I need to go a few times first and talk to people? That kind of kills the fantasy of it, really. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Take A Number
You could probably walk into a sex club and bend over—lord knows some gay men do just that—but it would be a bad idea.
But you can realize your fantasy, TAN, and here's how: Most swingers clubs permit couples and single women to attend parties (sorry, single guys). Go to a few parties, keep your pants on, introduce yourself around, find a couple or two whom you click with. Share your fantasy with your new friends and ask if they might be interested in helping you realize it.
And your fantasy is totally realizable—I've seen very similar ones realized once or twice—but the only way to realize your fantasy safely is with a couple of trusted friends hovering nearby. You need someone there who's making sure that men who take advantage of you in your bent-over-and-blindfolded state have condoms on and don't attempt to do anything other than what you've consented to.
Sometimes realizing a fantasy requires a little suspension of disbelief, TAN, so you'll just have to pretend your guardian angels aren't there watching out for you. And if part of what makes the fantasy so hot is being a helpless sex object in a room full of strangers, you can always go with your friends to a different sex club, one where you don't know anyone but that your new friends checked out for you in advance.
I'm a single, straight guy who just turned 30. Never had a serious relationship, had sex twice. Not for a lack of opportunity, but I wasn't ready for it emotionally until I was about 25. I'm a good-looking guy with a good job. I'm funny, independent, and easygoing. But I feel like there is a wall preventing me from having a relationship. Part of it is that I like having my own space. I like solitude, but I feel like I could let someone in my life and make time for her and go from there. And another part of it is I cannot for the life of me flirt with a girl I find attractive. I can turn a girl I'm not attracted to beet red if I have to, but I get tongue-tied around girls I think are hot.
Now that I feel mature enough to have someone in my life, what can I do to break down this wall I've put up to protect myself?
Lonely One Seeks Ties
P.S. I should probably add that I'm a submissive. Not that I'm looking to be emotionally dominated or anything, but being tied up in a corner and only speaking when Mistress tells me it's okay sounds pretty awesome.
I'm glad you included that postscript, LOST.
Google the term "munch," along with "BDSM" and the name of the city where you live (or the nearest big city if you live in buttfucknowhere). Munches are informal gatherings hosted by and for straight folks into BDSM; most are hosted by reputable BDSM or sex clubs—Orlando Power Exchange, Los Angeles's Threshold Society, Seattle's Center for Sex Positive Culture—and nothing happens at a munch. No sex, no play, just conversation and lunch. You'll meet other kinky straight folks who are interested in what you're interested in, and you'll be forced to interact with the women there—even the ones who typically leave you tongue-tied.
Serious question here: Does putting toothpaste or Bengay or whatever else on one's scrotum cause sterility or have any other negative health effects?
Great Balls Of Fire
Um... nope. It would probably be for the best if the guys who've posted YouTube videos of themselves putting Bengay on their balls were all sterile, GBOF, but most will sadly reproduce.
I'm a pretty hairy dude. I like my hairy chest. I like growing a beard in the winter. I like my hairy arms and legs. The only place that I don't like hair is my crotch. I shave my pubes pretty regularly, but I have long, scraggly, gross hairs all over my balls, which I could really do without. The thought of accidentally cutting myself down there has been a pretty good deterrent from going at it with a razor, and just the idea of putting some hair-removal product like Nair down there makes me wince. Is there a safe, easy, relatively pain-free way to get rid of this unsightly hair?
Clever Nickname Up To You
Um... nope. Waxing is the way to go, but it smarts.
Your advice for Seriously Troubled Here, the MARRIED MAN whose WIFE made out with another man (who she CLAIMS was gay) was the kind of knee-jerk anti-male bullshit and anti-male bias that straight men have come to expect from therapists, advice columnists, and "sex experts." She gets drunk and flirts with other men and MAKES OUT WITH THEM, and he's the douchebag?
Fuck you and your misandry. Men shouldn't seek your advice because you're clearly incapable of taking their side. You may not like pussy yourself, you cocksucker, but you'll take the twat's side every time. The world doesn't need another asshole "advice professional" who sides with the woman no matter what she does.
Men Against Dan
Excuse me? I'm the advice columnist—I'm practically the only advice columnist—who doesn't automatically leap to the woman's side in a dispute. I'm the guy who tells women that all men watch porn (so get over it or get a dog), that oral comes standard (sucking cock and eating pussy), and that under certain circumstances a husband (or a wife) has a right and a responsibility to cheat (just because you're not interested in sex anymore doesn't mean he has to go without for the rest of his life). You won't get that from Prudie or Amy or Carolyn.
Sorry, MAD, and everyone else who wrote in: I stand behind my advice to STH. His wife was apologetic and recognized that her behavior would have to change because it was, at the very least, deeply upsetting to her husband. She also confessed to kissing another dude, a gay dude, two years before they married, and he was having trouble forgiving her. If the roles were reversed—husband kissed lesbian two years before the wedding and wife couldn't forgive and move on—you can bet your clenched butts that I would've called the wife a douchebag.
For crying out loud, MAD, I've told wives—and husbands—to forgive and forget infidelities. Did you really expect me to tell STH to leave his wife over a kiss?
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1
For hairy balls I want to say laser hair removal but I'm not sure about potential damage to the 'boys
2
As always, lots of great advice Dan! I totally agree with your advice to STH; grow up and get over it, or leave.
As for the laser hair removal, it's not exactly "painless" either, but definitely worth looking in to!
As for the laser hair removal, it's not exactly "painless" either, but definitely worth looking in to!
3
To CNUTY:
What about an electric razor? Many of them have sideburn trimmers which are pretty damn painless. You won't get as close or as smooth of a shave as you would with a blade or the "regular" part of an electric razor, but you should be able to get most if not all of of the hair off your balls.
What about an electric razor? Many of them have sideburn trimmers which are pretty damn painless. You won't get as close or as smooth of a shave as you would with a blade or the "regular" part of an electric razor, but you should be able to get most if not all of of the hair off your balls.
4
"Clever Nickname Up To You" should try a hair depilatory called Magic. It's a powder you mix with water and is labeled for to remove beard and head hair from black men but it works wonders on pubic hair. The smell is a little bad but there is no burn and it's gentle enough to use every couple of days.
6
LOST's letter: obscenely hot. A strong/silent sub?! I should be so lucky!
Talking to someone you find attractive is hard because there's a lot on the line and one feels pressure to perform-- undue pressure. I think practice will make perfect here.
Talking to someone you find attractive is hard because there's a lot on the line and one feels pressure to perform-- undue pressure. I think practice will make perfect here.
8
STH was obviously a controlling douchebag and MAD is obviously a bitter misogynist. Dan could smell those from a mils away.
9
I am loathe to accept anyone at face value who says : "I can turn a girl I'm not attracted to beet red if I have to, but I get tongue-tied around girls I think are hot." STOP FOCUSING ON LOOKS!!!! Stop it! Everyone!!! Yes, chemistry is good, but focusing on the "hot" factor doesn't do ANYONE favors. It's dehumanizing to everyone involved. I have a friend who is exquisitely "hot" and it means she rarely gets a chance to be friends with men or women who shun her before they even get to know her. ALL people are just PEOPLE. What you're really afraid of is making an ass of yourself and being rejected. Get over yourself and just be nice, like you would to anyone. If it helps, imagine the person with a bag over their head or at 70 years of age. (although I adore older men, and have actually found a few 70+ men very hot!!) Seriously, give up the idea that our physicality says anything about our personalities.
Sheesh!
Sheesh!
10
Jesus Christ... STH seems to really hate women.
What a dick.
Here's to his wife getting a clue and leaving him.
What a dick.
Here's to his wife getting a clue and leaving him.
11
sorry, and Dan I love you, really.... but Dear Prudence has actually proven herself to me as not being completely man hating. And has taken the side of men a few times. So yeah Amy, Caroline, I can agree with.... But Prudie has really impressed me as of late.... You're still my favorite.... But she does good shit too.... Also I like how she does sex and everything else in between.... I know you do too sometimes... I just wish you would do it more often (even though I know so many people want you to stick to "sex and sex only").... ha I guess one can never win.
13
I don't understand. What's wrong with putting toothpaste on the scrotum, besides the fact that it just sounds pretty weird? I think I can guess why Ben Gay isn't recommended... in fact, I think I recall some practical jokes when guys spread it on a guy's jock strap and left it for him to climb into... but what's the point here? Some self abuse? Masocism?
14
@CNUTY (and Dan!): Shaving is just fine if you're careful. I go with a Schick male razor ('cause they have safety wires and lots of blades), and use lots of hair conditioner (much better than shaving cream for down there). I've been shaving them for years, and never yet a nick, although I struggle to get through a single morning without razorburn on my face.
I use an epilator for most other places, but imagine getting one anywhere near all that loose skin would end in tears (of one sort or the other).
How do you bring up 'going there' when you walk into a waxing studio? Is there a tendency for male/female/gay/straight/whatever-demographic waxing technicians to prefer not to go there?
I use an epilator for most other places, but imagine getting one anywhere near all that loose skin would end in tears (of one sort or the other).
How do you bring up 'going there' when you walk into a waxing studio? Is there a tendency for male/female/gay/straight/whatever-demographic waxing technicians to prefer not to go there?
15
men against dan is a pouting pussy. I don't appreciate the twat word, and what a prize he must me. Women begging to be bagged by him? I think not!
16
Awww, poor MAD. It must be so hard to live as a straight man in this misandric world, under the thumb of the All-powerful Advice Columnists (whom we know are really just puppets of the Evil Feminist Empire). lol, what a misogynist douchebag.
To the guy who wants hairless balls--just my humble opinion but perhaps you should learn to love what God gave you and leave your balls alone. Hairless balls look weird. Hairless balls on an otherwise very hairy guy look weird AND just plain silly.
To the guy who wants hairless balls--just my humble opinion but perhaps you should learn to love what God gave you and leave your balls alone. Hairless balls look weird. Hairless balls on an otherwise very hairy guy look weird AND just plain silly.
17
Put shaving cream on, hold the skin taut and shave away. Use a light short stroke and rinse the blade often. I've been doing it for years and only cut myself a couple times. Make sure to hold your dick away from the blade. Word to the wise.
18
@16: I can't agree that we should just learn to love what God gave us. Should I stop shaving my face, too? Maybe not bother getting my hair cut? I LIKE changing stuff; it's a part of my identity.
I do agree that hairless balls + hairy everything else looks kinda weird. It was a very short step (for me) from that exact situation to "hey, maybe I should get rid of the rest of it too?"
I now stay as hair-free as possible from the shoulders down (except my arms), and love it.
I do agree that hairless balls + hairy everything else looks kinda weird. It was a very short step (for me) from that exact situation to "hey, maybe I should get rid of the rest of it too?"
I now stay as hair-free as possible from the shoulders down (except my arms), and love it.
20
Rophuine #18--I just meant that HE should learn to appreciate what God gave him in this particular situation. I'm not suggesting that all men walk around looking like Charles Manson. :-P
Although I guess I will stand by the idea that men (and women) should leave their pubes alone unless it's just to trim them a bit. As a lady, personally I like hair down there on a guy. I think balls without hair are kind of sad and naked-looking. But to each her own, of course. It takes all kinds.
Although I guess I will stand by the idea that men (and women) should leave their pubes alone unless it's just to trim them a bit. As a lady, personally I like hair down there on a guy. I think balls without hair are kind of sad and naked-looking. But to each her own, of course. It takes all kinds.
21
CNUTY should just use a razor. Nicks to the scrotum are not particularly painful or dangerous. Shaving your face is much worse.
22
In response to the STH controversy... No Dan, you're not a MAN-HATER. But you're a KINKY-GIRL-IGNORER!
And so are, it seems, all your readers. Have you gotten so used to people admitting their kinks that you can't spot them on your own? Take off your sunglasses and see the truth: THIS MAN'S WIFE IS KINKY AS HELL!
She likes to kiss gay dudes, for whatever reason. She wants to flirt with other guys, and girls. Your advice should be to her - to tell her husband the truth. Or to him - go ask your wifey: If I was ok with you flirting with someone else, what would you do?
And so are, it seems, all your readers. Have you gotten so used to people admitting their kinks that you can't spot them on your own? Take off your sunglasses and see the truth: THIS MAN'S WIFE IS KINKY AS HELL!
She likes to kiss gay dudes, for whatever reason. She wants to flirt with other guys, and girls. Your advice should be to her - to tell her husband the truth. Or to him - go ask your wifey: If I was ok with you flirting with someone else, what would you do?
23
Er, no.
Kissing people isn't 'kinky as hell'
Wanting to roleplay 'Ass Goblins of Auschwitz' comes a bit closer to the definition...
Kissing people isn't 'kinky as hell'
Wanting to roleplay 'Ass Goblins of Auschwitz' comes a bit closer to the definition...
24
I dunno, Dan, you might get that advice from Carolyn if she didn't have Washington Post guidelines to follow. Her advice in her live chats is more concerned with fairness to people than with any particular code.
25
Shaving your balls (with a safety razor, guys) is totally safe. Hot water in the shower, stretch the sac, shaving gel, repeat daily. In years of doing this I think I've nicked myself once.
Or talk a friend into doing it for you - totally hot.
Or talk a friend into doing it for you - totally hot.
26
Wax your balls!? Are you out of your mind? Get a Body Groomer -- an electric razor made by Philips Norelco for the parts other than your face. No blood, no pain, smooth balls.
27
This is to Laya: Do you like hairy nuts in your mouth? Most women say the hair bothers them. Shaved nuts and shaved Beaver is the only way to go.
28
Anyone who doesn't like hair on his balls or crotch is seriously weird. I'm a hair-lover from the ground up, and love it all -- chest, cock, arms, legs, butt. O, gimme that fur! The idea of licking a pair of hairless balls gives me the creeps. (Of course to some people, THAT'S seriously weird.)
29
I tried an electric wet-dry body shaver on my nuts once - for about a second. OUCH! Never again. I also tried a regular electric shaver once, and it was almost as bad. Maybe a different brand or model would work, but now I'm afraid to try.
Tried Nair twice. Once I didn't leave it on long enough and the hair stayed on. I tried it again 2 weeks later and the hair came off, but the skin was really painful for days afterward.
Tried Smooth Away. Didn't work.
So I just use the same Gillette Sensor Excel and shaving cream I use on my face. Lots of hot water, and take it slow. Helps to sit on the edge of the tub. Every once and a while I nick myself but it's not as bad as on my face, and it stops bleeding very quickly.
Not perfect, but the least-bad option, and if you like your GF to suck on your balls, you do what you gotta do.
Tried Nair twice. Once I didn't leave it on long enough and the hair stayed on. I tried it again 2 weeks later and the hair came off, but the skin was really painful for days afterward.
Tried Smooth Away. Didn't work.
So I just use the same Gillette Sensor Excel and shaving cream I use on my face. Lots of hot water, and take it slow. Helps to sit on the edge of the tub. Every once and a while I nick myself but it's not as bad as on my face, and it stops bleeding very quickly.
Not perfect, but the least-bad option, and if you like your GF to suck on your balls, you do what you gotta do.
30
@tools 4 u: 'most women'? I'm a woman and I don't mind hairy balls. Maybe it's because most guys I've been with wanted me to go down on their penis, not their balls. And I haven't managed to deep throat all the way down to the hairy bits (big penises?). But by all means, shave if you are so inclined.
31
Laser Hair Removal can be done safely on one's nads but the stronger the laser, the more pain you'll feel. After one treatmen
32
do not WAX your balls........ really. or if you do, have a pro doing it. waxing is really awesome, but whoever does it needs to be really good, otherwise the pain (which is always on a very high level when waxing down there for men and women) will be unbearable - for a taste check out youtube videos of brazilian waxing.,. and the girl's skin is much tighter than your balls skin........... laser is not good either since you need a high contrast between hair colour and skin colour (i.e. black thick hair and very pale skin) for it to work properly.
so, go ahead and carefully shave away shave. creams like nair are like shaving but smell awful.
so, go ahead and carefully shave away shave. creams like nair are like shaving but smell awful.
35
My boyfriend gets waxed sometimes (would more if it weren't so expensive), and I really like it. I love him furry too, but the smooth balls and ass are just irresistable for me to lick and suck. He's not someone with an unusually high pain threshhold and while he certainly doesn't enjoy it, he said it was way less painful than he feared (and the first time is the worst). Shaving's all very well and good, but it grows back so quickly--waxing lasts weeks (and this is on a very furry guy). As to how and where, we're lucky to have a friend who's a professional waxer, but I've seen it advertised at swanky waxing salons as the (shudder) "boyzilian." Gay salons seem like an obvious possibility. Can always call and ask if the place offers waxing for men and, if so, ask whether they do "bikini area" waxing. All the terms are so coy and silly, but probably get a better response than, "Yo, lady, how much to wax my balls?"
36
Waxing is not universally painful. It depends on the skill of the waxer and the sensitivity of the waxee. Shaving works, but doesn't last more than a few days. It's tedious, and time consuming. Plus, once each has a few days regrowth, you have velcro during sex. I like mine smooth, I like his smooth. I haven't seen a full growth of pubic hair in years. Find a good salon that caters to men, and have the boys waxed.
37
I just use a Shick Extreme and lots of shaving cream. Never had a nick.
If you want a wax job, just google "brazilian for men" and your city. There a few upscale places here in Toronto that will do that kind of waxing. It stings, but it's not that bad with a good pro waxer.
And for the ladies that think it looks weird, maybe you are right, but skin on skin feels so good!
If you want a wax job, just google "brazilian for men" and your city. There a few upscale places here in Toronto that will do that kind of waxing. It stings, but it's not that bad with a good pro waxer.
And for the ladies that think it looks weird, maybe you are right, but skin on skin feels so good!
38
i feel like as long as both partners have a similar amount of pubes, hairy or hairless play one. otherwise you get bush burn.
39
CNUTY: you need to give a razor a try. You will not cut yourself and you will be surprised about how superior it is to all other methods. A trimmer is guaranteed to rip you up so DON'T USE ONE.
40
CNUTY: I forgot to mention: use it dry, no water, no shaving cream. Just trim the hair away. It really is quite great.
41
@9: For men and women, the initial connection between us is almost always physical. LOST isn't talking about sustaining a relationship, he's talking about starting one. Why wouldn't he want to start one with a girl he's attracted to? It's only human nature, for men and women, to want people we think are 'hot'.
42
cutting your genitals is hard to do..if you pull the skin taught, use a fresh razor and cream, and take your time. The skin is quite resilient!
I don't have balls, but I think labia skin is similar to ball skin, though less stretchy?
Hairy balls aren't a deal breaker for me, unless they are more like FURRY balls.
LOST sounds a little egotistical. Get over yourself, then you can talk to the women you're attracted to.
As for MAD...he clearly hasn't read your other columns. Sucks getting all upset over nothing!
I don't have balls, but I think labia skin is similar to ball skin, though less stretchy?
Hairy balls aren't a deal breaker for me, unless they are more like FURRY balls.
LOST sounds a little egotistical. Get over yourself, then you can talk to the women you're attracted to.
As for MAD...he clearly hasn't read your other columns. Sucks getting all upset over nothing!
43
Hey LOST, it's quite simple really (although it took me years to figure it out)
Treat the ones you like like the ones you don't like, and treat the ones you don't like like the ones you like.
Ridiculous? of course, but hey that's women for you.
Treat the ones you like like the ones you don't like, and treat the ones you don't like like the ones you like.
Ridiculous? of course, but hey that's women for you.
45
@ Tools 4 u #27
Hairy balls in my mouth don't bother me. If the guy showers enough, all the loose hairs go down the shower drain instead of getting into my mouth. Balls with hair are kind of fuzzy and cute, balls without hair look like raw chicken parts or something. Or just little-kiddish. I would no more ask my guy to shave them than he would ask me to shave. He is also a hair appreciator. I trim, but mostly because I like the way it feels better. If I get lax about it he doesn't even notice. (Although it should be noted that I'm not a very hairy person at all.) Honestly, most guys that I've actually been with prefer some hair, except for one, who was kind of a douche. You, however, are at least even-handed. No gender double standard about grooming which I respect. :-P
Hairy balls in my mouth don't bother me. If the guy showers enough, all the loose hairs go down the shower drain instead of getting into my mouth. Balls with hair are kind of fuzzy and cute, balls without hair look like raw chicken parts or something. Or just little-kiddish. I would no more ask my guy to shave them than he would ask me to shave. He is also a hair appreciator. I trim, but mostly because I like the way it feels better. If I get lax about it he doesn't even notice. (Although it should be noted that I'm not a very hairy person at all.) Honestly, most guys that I've actually been with prefer some hair, except for one, who was kind of a douche. You, however, are at least even-handed. No gender double standard about grooming which I respect. :-P
46
Dan? Misandrist? I beg to differ. If anything, Dan errs on the side of misogyny -- not consistently, mind you, but he does suffer from occasional flare-ups of "girl cooties" phobia. (Canned Spam, anyone?)
47
There are a lot of razors out there made specifically for the bikini area... you can try looking at Walgreens... and use ALOT of shaving cream and EXTREMELY gentle strokes.
48
CNUTY, if you decide to try using a razor down there, use a fresh one every time. You're more likely to nick yourself with a dull razor.
A little BenGay probably wouldn't hurt anything, but be sure you don't overdo it, GBOF. People have died from BenGay overdoses. If you don't believe me, see:
http://www.scienceline.org/2007/08/13/as…
LOST, the sooner you stop seeing attractive women as another species you dare not approach, the better. Instead of trying to flirt with them, try befriending a few. You'll find out they have insecurities and flaws just like you do.
If that doesn't seem possible, find a good counselor who will help you develop your self-confidence and assertiveness. Being passive in bed is fine, but outside of bed, it's unlikely to help you find someone who's willing to indulge your fantasies! I'd save the BDSM meet-and-greets for when you've figured out how to be comfortable enough with yourself to go after what and whom you desire.
A little BenGay probably wouldn't hurt anything, but be sure you don't overdo it, GBOF. People have died from BenGay overdoses. If you don't believe me, see:
http://www.scienceline.org/2007/08/13/as…
LOST, the sooner you stop seeing attractive women as another species you dare not approach, the better. Instead of trying to flirt with them, try befriending a few. You'll find out they have insecurities and flaws just like you do.
If that doesn't seem possible, find a good counselor who will help you develop your self-confidence and assertiveness. Being passive in bed is fine, but outside of bed, it's unlikely to help you find someone who's willing to indulge your fantasies! I'd save the BDSM meet-and-greets for when you've figured out how to be comfortable enough with yourself to go after what and whom you desire.
49
I find time after a good showering every few weeks and use my Wahl clippers with the shortest attachment in the pack. It's enough trimmage to keep things neat for at least a few weeks. Personally I think baby butt smooth isn't the greatest. With the clippers you can achieve some style. The Norelco bodygroom I tried became dull real fast and started pulling more hairs than it clipped, so I would recommend against that.
50
Stay away from NAIR. Burning sensation lasted hours. Now using razor, no nicks on balls, nicks often on part between sack and leg.
Take your time.
Take your time.
51
Some rational bias should be set in here for the dewhiskering of male genitals. So . . .
First, trim as much of the bush as will be taken off comfortably with a small pair of scissors. Then take a hot shower for at least ten minutes to soften the remaining stubble. When you are convinced that this is as soft as it likely will become, spread Noxema shaving cream for sensitive skin (the model in the red can), following the directions on the can before dispensing. Apply a thin coat of this cream to the area to be shaved; only a small area at one time. Begin shaving with a small safety razor ONLY, e.g., one of the inexpensive models by Gillette. All surfaces between the navel and the entire area between the buttocks can be shaved safely. But, be careful on scrotal skin, which is thinner and more sensitive than all other shaveable skin. As a further caution, be especially careful using scissors over scrotal skin. Don't try to clip large patches from that skin. In the interest of safety, take as much time as needed by clipping no more than one or two hairs at once.
Depending somewhat on the hair growth patterns of an individual person, all shaved areas will resume hair growth shortly after shaving. If one likes the look and feel of shaved surfaces then a commitment must be made to stay with this procedure because hair in this region may regrow with the rapidity of facial hair.
The first two or three shavings may yield an uncomfortable itch. Ask your local pharmacist - by phone in a distant neighborhood if this kind of subject might cause you unease in person - to recommend an OTC skin powder to relieve this condition. Or, perhaps better yet, live with the itch and notice if it diminishes over a short time. As with all medications, the fewer the better!
Good Luck!
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First, trim as much of the bush as will be taken off comfortably with a small pair of scissors. Then take a hot shower for at least ten minutes to soften the remaining stubble. When you are convinced that this is as soft as it likely will become, spread Noxema shaving cream for sensitive skin (the model in the red can), following the directions on the can before dispensing. Apply a thin coat of this cream to the area to be shaved; only a small area at one time. Begin shaving with a small safety razor ONLY, e.g., one of the inexpensive models by Gillette. All surfaces between the navel and the entire area between the buttocks can be shaved safely. But, be careful on scrotal skin, which is thinner and more sensitive than all other shaveable skin. As a further caution, be especially careful using scissors over scrotal skin. Don't try to clip large patches from that skin. In the interest of safety, take as much time as needed by clipping no more than one or two hairs at once.
Depending somewhat on the hair growth patterns of an individual person, all shaved areas will resume hair growth shortly after shaving. If one likes the look and feel of shaved surfaces then a commitment must be made to stay with this procedure because hair in this region may regrow with the rapidity of facial hair.
The first two or three shavings may yield an uncomfortable itch. Ask your local pharmacist - by phone in a distant neighborhood if this kind of subject might cause you unease in person - to recommend an OTC skin powder to relieve this condition. Or, perhaps better yet, live with the itch and notice if it diminishes over a short time. As with all medications, the fewer the better!
Good Luck!
52
Hairless pubes look pre-pubescent to me. I can't understand the attraction. But hey.. to each their own. Though, I'd probably dump anyone who insisted I shave my natural red ones.
53
@11: You're joking, right? Prudie is the perfect name for her, b/c she's such a sanctimonious, judgmental prude, I get sick every time I read her. Amy & Carolyn are no better. Who told these dames to be an advice columnist, you have to shred any sense of humility & vulnerability?
I don't agree w/ Dan all of the time, but his hit-to-miss ration is pretty high (i.e. lots more hits compared to the few misses. imo.) PLUS the big factor is his simple practicality. He doesn't write to create a perfect world, just one that people can get along a little bit better.
And no, I have no connection to DS at all. I just can't stand those three biddies. Judith Martin (Miss Manners) is cool, I just wish she's bring her common-sense approach to the bedroom. But that's why I read SL.
I don't agree w/ Dan all of the time, but his hit-to-miss ration is pretty high (i.e. lots more hits compared to the few misses. imo.) PLUS the big factor is his simple practicality. He doesn't write to create a perfect world, just one that people can get along a little bit better.
And no, I have no connection to DS at all. I just can't stand those three biddies. Judith Martin (Miss Manners) is cool, I just wish she's bring her common-sense approach to the bedroom. But that's why I read SL.
54
As a licensed esthetician, I would strongly advise against waxing your balls unless you are into cock and ball torture. In which case, hire a dom! Your waxer is not a sex worker, thx.
A couple of things to keep in mind:
1 Your balls are saggy
Waxing an area with saggy skin, such as your balls, for example, could prove problematic, because it's probably going to be difficult to keep the skin taut. If the skin is not held perfectly taut the hair may be difficult to remove. In which case, you may have to go over the same area more than once (ouch!).
2 Typical methods of pain reduction are unlikely to work on your balls.
It would most likely be very difficult to make the experience any less painful. Typically, pain is staunched/reduced by slapping or compressing the area that has just been waxed. I don't have balls, but the way you guys are always adjusting your junk, I'm assuming that most of you would prefer not to have slapping or compression as a method of "pain reduction"- it would probably be counterproductive as pain management.
Another method is to work smaller patches of hair at a time to reduce pain, but in the case of your balls, where pain may be cumulative, that probably would only intensify the pain, because it would take so much longer to finish waxing your balls in such small patches.
In summary, a good clean balls waxing would require that your balls be pinched, tugged, slapped and compressed, all while your hair is being pulled from the root. Not for those with low pain tolerance, for sure. If anything, make sure your esthetician has a few years of experience under her belt and has waxed balls before.
Great question though. Since I've never done a balls waxing, I'm not actually sure what I would recommend instead. Threading or sugaring maybe? That tends to work best on sensitive skin. Maybe there are some esthies out there who have and can comment about the best way to remove balls hairs? I would like to know now, too.
Good luck cnuty ;)
More...
A couple of things to keep in mind:
1 Your balls are saggy
Waxing an area with saggy skin, such as your balls, for example, could prove problematic, because it's probably going to be difficult to keep the skin taut. If the skin is not held perfectly taut the hair may be difficult to remove. In which case, you may have to go over the same area more than once (ouch!).
2 Typical methods of pain reduction are unlikely to work on your balls.
It would most likely be very difficult to make the experience any less painful. Typically, pain is staunched/reduced by slapping or compressing the area that has just been waxed. I don't have balls, but the way you guys are always adjusting your junk, I'm assuming that most of you would prefer not to have slapping or compression as a method of "pain reduction"- it would probably be counterproductive as pain management.
Another method is to work smaller patches of hair at a time to reduce pain, but in the case of your balls, where pain may be cumulative, that probably would only intensify the pain, because it would take so much longer to finish waxing your balls in such small patches.
In summary, a good clean balls waxing would require that your balls be pinched, tugged, slapped and compressed, all while your hair is being pulled from the root. Not for those with low pain tolerance, for sure. If anything, make sure your esthetician has a few years of experience under her belt and has waxed balls before.
Great question though. Since I've never done a balls waxing, I'm not actually sure what I would recommend instead. Threading or sugaring maybe? That tends to work best on sensitive skin. Maybe there are some esthies out there who have and can comment about the best way to remove balls hairs? I would like to know now, too.
Good luck cnuty ;)
55
@30
I know that my guy prefers it when his balls are sucked (which can be done without deep-throating balls-deep), and I'm sure he's not the only guy that likes that. So I can understand if some ladies prefer the balls to be hairless in that case, though I'm completely fine with hair, so long as everything is clean.
I know that my guy prefers it when his balls are sucked (which can be done without deep-throating balls-deep), and I'm sure he's not the only guy that likes that. So I can understand if some ladies prefer the balls to be hairless in that case, though I'm completely fine with hair, so long as everything is clean.
56
I shave my balls all the time and have never nicked or cut myself. Trim the hair short to start and keep it shaved. No problem.
59
As for the woman who'd like to be f##ked blindfolded at a sex club by strangers -- wouldn't that be a situation that could be covered by the female condom?
Never had experience of either, but from what I've read on blogs, the female condom might suffice for safe sex, if not for her safety otherwise.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_condom
Never had experience of either, but from what I've read on blogs, the female condom might suffice for safe sex, if not for her safety otherwise.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_condom
60
The vibrating razor heads are amazing at clearing the blades so that you get a more or less fresh set (of blades) for every stroke. DO NOT use the vibrate function while actually shaving, just to unclog the blades. It goes very very fast that way.
61
DITTO @ 26!
I've been removing hair down there for 35+ years. The Norelco BodyGroom is the best device ever invented for removing male genital hair- dick, balls and ass. If it nicks at all (rare) they are micro-nicks that seal up completely within 5 seconds. Mostly just easy, quick, clean and nick-free hair removal. At $40, less than half the price of a wax job and infinitely less humiliating.
I've been removing hair down there for 35+ years. The Norelco BodyGroom is the best device ever invented for removing male genital hair- dick, balls and ass. If it nicks at all (rare) they are micro-nicks that seal up completely within 5 seconds. Mostly just easy, quick, clean and nick-free hair removal. At $40, less than half the price of a wax job and infinitely less humiliating.
63
Gay male mid 40's with hair growing in places that never had hair before....
I agree with the above the electric clippers are the best. You're not going to get totally smooth hairless balls (which on a grown man would look child like and thus strange) but you'll end up with a nice pair of trimmed "manscaped" balls.
Every other week, I clip my entire pubic and ass area with the smallest clipper guard i have and it looks neat, natural and most importantly age appropriate.
BTW: I have a small amount of back hair, mostly on my upper shoulder area, and i get that waxed once a month from my local gay hairdresser, $35 bucks for wax and a haircut - a great deal. But for the least expensive way, got to a beauty school, where they usually do waxing for less than $20.
As a matter of fact, i got a facial at a beauty school the other day for $30 and it was just as good as the $90 facials i get at the fancy gay spa i used to frequent. I'm sold on beauty schools.
A little off topic.... but for those guys on Propecia for hair loss, a friend of mine clued me into that the active ingredient in Propecia is called Finasteride. You can buy Finasteride marketed as Proscar at 5th of what you're paying for Propecia - Propecia is just a marketing name. Go with Proscar 5mg, cut it into 4 pieces and take one piece a day. Talk to your doctor.
PS: Men never get your ass waxed, did it once and got ingrown hair because I sit on my ass all day at work and the hairs just got all gross and ingrown, it two about weeks to get back to normal. Again, clippers with the smallest guard.
I agree with the above the electric clippers are the best. You're not going to get totally smooth hairless balls (which on a grown man would look child like and thus strange) but you'll end up with a nice pair of trimmed "manscaped" balls.
Every other week, I clip my entire pubic and ass area with the smallest clipper guard i have and it looks neat, natural and most importantly age appropriate.
BTW: I have a small amount of back hair, mostly on my upper shoulder area, and i get that waxed once a month from my local gay hairdresser, $35 bucks for wax and a haircut - a great deal. But for the least expensive way, got to a beauty school, where they usually do waxing for less than $20.
As a matter of fact, i got a facial at a beauty school the other day for $30 and it was just as good as the $90 facials i get at the fancy gay spa i used to frequent. I'm sold on beauty schools.
A little off topic.... but for those guys on Propecia for hair loss, a friend of mine clued me into that the active ingredient in Propecia is called Finasteride. You can buy Finasteride marketed as Proscar at 5th of what you're paying for Propecia - Propecia is just a marketing name. Go with Proscar 5mg, cut it into 4 pieces and take one piece a day. Talk to your doctor.
PS: Men never get your ass waxed, did it once and got ingrown hair because I sit on my ass all day at work and the hairs just got all gross and ingrown, it two about weeks to get back to normal. Again, clippers with the smallest guard.
64
shaving cream drys my skin, and irritates my mysterious lady bits. Today I shaved with a new Schick Quatro and silicone lube. I can't use the lube with my favorite toys, so I figured might as well see what else it's good for. Works like magic--smooth, close shave, no nicks, just really really slippery. I've tried everything--soap, cream, conditioner--this is the best so far! Still prefer to have it waxed, but that gets spendy.
67
@ 63,
Beauty schools are a great bargain.
CNUTY,
If you're a devoted DIY-er and don't want to visit a professional, you can prune the hedges with a beard trimmer.
Beauty schools are a great bargain.
CNUTY,
If you're a devoted DIY-er and don't want to visit a professional, you can prune the hedges with a beard trimmer.
68
I can understand being worried about the effects of Bengay -- who knows what's in that stuff -- but toothpaste? What comceivable harm could toothpaste do? It's made to go in your MOUTH.
69
Most shaving cream is SOAP - in one form or another. Using Noxzema face cream as an underlay, you can eliminate 'razor burn' etc - work wells on gonads as well - but really, leave 'em alone!
70
So...I'm really curious--if munches are only for the straight kinksters, where are all the non-straight kinky people hanging out? I read your response to LOST, Dan, and then read it aloud to my kinky boyfriend, and we both boggled over the repeated use of the word straight. Every munch we've ever been to (which, granted, is only with one particular group in one particular city) welcomed people of all sexual orientations.
71
@63: Disagree about avoiding the rear. I sit at a desk all day and never have a problem (after my first attempt or two, anyway), although I use an epilator instead of waxing (same effect: out by the roots).
The key is to exfoliate (not just for girls anymore!) and moisturize (ditto!). Get yourself a loofah/shower sponge/whatever and an exfoliating shower scrub, and go to town regularly. Over-exfoliating can lead to drying which causes wrinkles, so moisturize afterwards.
The key is to exfoliate (not just for girls anymore!) and moisturize (ditto!). Get yourself a loofah/shower sponge/whatever and an exfoliating shower scrub, and go to town regularly. Over-exfoliating can lead to drying which causes wrinkles, so moisturize afterwards.
72
Hi hairy guy--the Norelco body trimmer works great--smooth balls, no cuts, and the online video demo is about the funniest thing out there. It cost $20 or $30 online if I remember correctly. Works great keeping the back door tidy too.
73
Hi hairy guy--the Norelco body trimmer works great--smooth balls, no cuts, and the online video demo is about the funniest thing out there. It cost $20 or $30 online if I remember correctly. Works great keeping the back door tidy too.
74
Hi hairy guy--the Norelco body trimmer works great--smooth balls, no cuts, and the online video demo is about the funniest thing out there. It cost $20 or $30 online if I remember correctly. Works great keeping the back door tidy too.
75
The guy with hairy balls could try just trimming. Leave enough so it's still soft.
Personally the idea of stubble growing in down there makes me cringe. And I don't even have balls. Don't know why men do it. Think of the chafing!
Personally the idea of stubble growing in down there makes me cringe. And I don't even have balls. Don't know why men do it. Think of the chafing!
76
Wow, that last letter was a vile piece of crap. I can't stand the victimization attitude in either men or women--it's very unattractive. Clearly, Men Against Dan has some low-self esteem issues, and he's also a jack-ass to boot. I am a guy and I love reading Dan's column. Too bad that Ben Gay really doesn't cause infertility because I would love to mail that douche Men Again Dan a whole crate load and tell him to rub away!
77
For CNUTY: Nair and depilatory creams don't hurt. They smell funky as fuck, but they don't burn or anything. If he's afraid of pain or razor nicks, nair might be the way to go. Also, electric razors are a lot like hair trimmers--they have a guard on them so they're less likely to catch the skin. Take it from the ladies--we've tried it all.
80
For LOST: I used to have a lot of difficulty talking to guys I was attracted to. I also have anxiety issues and I was taught a really good way to prepare yourself for situations that make you anxious. With plenty of practice its really helped me.
Visualize yourself talking to a woman you think is hot. Get as detailed as you can. Now, imagine the situation with the worst possible (but stay realistic) outcome. Describe to yourself your reactions and how it makes you feel (it might help to write this down). Now let go of that scenario and start over, but this time imagine the best possible outcome. Again, describe how it makes you feel.
Imagining the worst outcome will help you realize that it probably isn't as bad as you fear it might be. It will also give you some experience with feeling rejected so when it does happen (and if you put yourself out there's a good chance it will) you are better equipped to handle those feelings.
Other than that, like with anything else, the more practice you get, the easier it will become.
Visualize yourself talking to a woman you think is hot. Get as detailed as you can. Now, imagine the situation with the worst possible (but stay realistic) outcome. Describe to yourself your reactions and how it makes you feel (it might help to write this down). Now let go of that scenario and start over, but this time imagine the best possible outcome. Again, describe how it makes you feel.
Imagining the worst outcome will help you realize that it probably isn't as bad as you fear it might be. It will also give you some experience with feeling rejected so when it does happen (and if you put yourself out there's a good chance it will) you are better equipped to handle those feelings.
Other than that, like with anything else, the more practice you get, the easier it will become.
82
@LOST
In the year 2010, you can easily find either a swingers club or a swingers group that contains enough available men (no guarantees on their marital status, mind) to make your fantasy a reality. In fact, almost every major city in America *seems* to have at least one club or group that allows for that type of scenario. And if you can't find a club that allows single men to visit (or preferably to join, as single males members {heh} are scrutinized {heh, heh} with more diligence than the average swinger couple), visit any club/group as a single female and watch in amazement as all but the most jaded patrons bow at your feet and suddenly "remember" that they "Once knew this guy who seemed really cool even though he wasn't bringing anything to the table by the way what are you doing on Saturday? No, *after* you get banged... We have a hot tub." Meet a few couples at the club, get a few references, ask the owner of manager about setting something up on an available weeknight, and you'll be knee-deep in cocks in no time.
I can't believe that I just used the words "members" and "scrutinized" in the same sentence.
In the year 2010, you can easily find either a swingers club or a swingers group that contains enough available men (no guarantees on their marital status, mind) to make your fantasy a reality. In fact, almost every major city in America *seems* to have at least one club or group that allows for that type of scenario. And if you can't find a club that allows single men to visit (or preferably to join, as single males members {heh} are scrutinized {heh, heh} with more diligence than the average swinger couple), visit any club/group as a single female and watch in amazement as all but the most jaded patrons bow at your feet and suddenly "remember" that they "Once knew this guy who seemed really cool even though he wasn't bringing anything to the table by the way what are you doing on Saturday? No, *after* you get banged... We have a hot tub." Meet a few couples at the club, get a few references, ask the owner of manager about setting something up on an available weeknight, and you'll be knee-deep in cocks in no time.
I can't believe that I just used the words "members" and "scrutinized" in the same sentence.
84
I think LOST's scenario is incredibly hot, and I've often thought about going to a sex club as a single woman, but I'm kind of fat and not terribly hot. How likely am I to get in let alone get any action?
87
You can't say nair doesn't hurt, it is different depending on the person. For me, it gives me terrible chemical burns after a few minutes, for some people it is fine.
Test it in a different area than your balls before you use it!
Test it in a different area than your balls before you use it!
88
@9: I think you may be guilty of assuming that when LOST says a woman is "hot" he means "conventionally good-looking". Maybe he simply means "attractive to me", in the exact sense you're encouraging.
@53: The confusion is that "Dear Prudie" became a different person some time in 2007. Now it's Emily Yoffe, whose advice I like a lot, and who seems to be insightful and broadminded and kind of hip. Before it was Margo Howard, the daughter of "Dear Abby", whose advice was old-school and exactly the kind Dan does not give or approve of. She now has her own separate "Dear Margo" franchise.
@53: The confusion is that "Dear Prudie" became a different person some time in 2007. Now it's Emily Yoffe, whose advice I like a lot, and who seems to be insightful and broadminded and kind of hip. Before it was Margo Howard, the daughter of "Dear Abby", whose advice was old-school and exactly the kind Dan does not give or approve of. She now has her own separate "Dear Margo" franchise.
89
@88: Good point, because whether it's the one or the other, "objective" or "subjective", the outcome is the same.
OTOH, I think that people who are really attractive in a conventional way ARE different, a lot of the time. The world sure as hell will treat you differently if you're super-good-looking (or super-ugly), and that changes the kind of person you are.
So #9's claim that "our physicality [doesn't say] anything about our personalities" is actually total bullshit, because almost everyone I know who's gorgeous has expectations that are at least partly predicated on the doors they can open, and the attention they get, because of their looks. It's like being born into a wealthy family: if you're not, you have to earn a lot of things that come more easily to those who are.
OTOH, I think that people who are really attractive in a conventional way ARE different, a lot of the time. The world sure as hell will treat you differently if you're super-good-looking (or super-ugly), and that changes the kind of person you are.
So #9's claim that "our physicality [doesn't say] anything about our personalities" is actually total bullshit, because almost everyone I know who's gorgeous has expectations that are at least partly predicated on the doors they can open, and the attention they get, because of their looks. It's like being born into a wealthy family: if you're not, you have to earn a lot of things that come more easily to those who are.
90
getting the narsty long hairs on your scrote down to a manageable length is FAR easier than actually waxing your wrinkly underside until it shines. Invest fifteen bucks in a cheap beard trimmer (the kind with a guard like the barber uses to buzz your neck hairs) and trim those suckers short. No wax, no pain, and no risk of nasty razor knicks.
91
Fantastic advice for all this week. Your advice to STH was still shit and I'll stand beside that until the end of time. MAD was hilariously vitriolic, though. Thanks for that. If anyone wants similar hilarity, check out anything from a "men's right activist" blog.
Remember kids: cheating is defined by your partner, not you. If you don't like your partner's definition, get a different one.
Remember kids: cheating is defined by your partner, not you. If you don't like your partner's definition, get a different one.
92
Good advice to TAN. Sometimes fantasies are just too risky/insane, and you have to modify them slightly. I am sure if enough strangers outnumber her friends watching her, the feeling of helplessness will still be there.
Don't feel to annoyed with MAD's email. There are a lot of people out there that like to use the word mysandrist. I once had to TA a class about domestic violence and sexual abuse. The prof did not even take on a patriarchal perspective; she talked about abuse as a relationship issue, yet she was called a mysandrist. This one kid kept calling her a mysandrist, becaus according to him, she spent too much time talking about homicide and aggravated assault, and not enough time on "other forms of domestic violence". I agree with creezy, people that view themselves as victims are annoying.
Don't feel to annoyed with MAD's email. There are a lot of people out there that like to use the word mysandrist. I once had to TA a class about domestic violence and sexual abuse. The prof did not even take on a patriarchal perspective; she talked about abuse as a relationship issue, yet she was called a mysandrist. This one kid kept calling her a mysandrist, becaus according to him, she spent too much time talking about homicide and aggravated assault, and not enough time on "other forms of domestic violence". I agree with creezy, people that view themselves as victims are annoying.
93
Dan,
Thanks for consistently going to bat for Guys (and Ladies) everywhere. The 'misandry' comment was a total joke.
Don't let the haters get you down.
Thanks for consistently going to bat for Guys (and Ladies) everywhere. The 'misandry' comment was a total joke.
Don't let the haters get you down.
94
You go Dan! Can't believe Mad got so...mad=D. I did learn a new word though, misandry. Thanks Mad, lord there are too many of them around. And their counterparts the Miss oginists. Anger is a secondary emotion often insulating, (protecting?) someone from the pain, fear, or sadness they are really feeling under the anger. BUT, the John Wayne's of the world have forced men into this disconnect from men's true emotions. Sadness ain't cool, so blame, and corece them to you will, that's what a real man does. I don't know what excuse the misandrists have, but the solution is easy.. Take more love, less hate and call me in the morning.
95
I'm a girl, so I have no experience with hairy balls. But I have plenty of experience with laser, waxing, and shaving my pussy. Laser is EXTREAMLY painful in such a sensitive area, and waxing left me with a terrible rash ( though it was fine on my legs). Shaving is pretty good. I know in our local alternative newspaper, there are adds for alternative 'barbers' (mr baldnuts). I live in Vancouver. If our hairy friend lives in a large city, he could probably find an alternative barber with nut shaving experience, whose profesional reputation would be on the line if he sliced off a nut.
96
Misandry? For telling a guy who was worried about a kiss that happened two years before they got married, which the wife herself admitted, and which she was ready to amend for?
Geez. Some people see misandry everywhere. And this is part of the problem. The 'misandry' people are turning into no-balls male versions of the extreme 'misogyny' people: both want to see big outrageous offenses everywhere. Rather than concentrating on real problems, they will... blather on about Dan's advice to a guy whose wife kissed someone else two years before they were married. Wow, way to go guys. Soon you'll make yourselves as ridiculous as the radical feminists.
Actually, cross out the 'soon' in the previous sentence.
Geez. Some people see misandry everywhere. And this is part of the problem. The 'misandry' people are turning into no-balls male versions of the extreme 'misogyny' people: both want to see big outrageous offenses everywhere. Rather than concentrating on real problems, they will... blather on about Dan's advice to a guy whose wife kissed someone else two years before they were married. Wow, way to go guys. Soon you'll make yourselves as ridiculous as the radical feminists.
Actually, cross out the 'soon' in the previous sentence.
97
I'm a chick and NOTHING works to get rid of hair on my vag. Shaving, waxing, even chemical creams....everything turns the peach from bikini line to the edges of the lips into a mess, I get rashes so bad it looks like a bee hive went down on me. It doesn't matter how careful and gentle I am or if a professional does it. Gaaaaar!
The only I thing I can do is trim, very carefully, with little scissors -- which is a tricky, pokey proposition, and shave with a 3 blade Gillette the peripheral and douse it in rubbing alcohol to keep the bumps down.
Additionally, I shampoo and condition my pubes, because I figure if I have to have an unstylish coif, it might as well be pretty and soft.
The only I thing I can do is trim, very carefully, with little scissors -- which is a tricky, pokey proposition, and shave with a 3 blade Gillette the peripheral and douse it in rubbing alcohol to keep the bumps down.
Additionally, I shampoo and condition my pubes, because I figure if I have to have an unstylish coif, it might as well be pretty and soft.
98
Hair holds moisture. Moisture breeds bacteria. Bacteria causes stink. Most really hairy guys have no idea how funky they can smell down there. By all means, SHAVE.
99
Nooooooooo .... don't shave. Unless you want a trip to the clinic to get some steroid cream, for the resulting rash. Or if you're dead set on it, maybe just shave a tiny little bit, and leave it for a week, and see what sort of reaction you get.
But a short trim will give you all the benefits of shaving, with none of the disasterous side effects.
Been there, done that.
But a short trim will give you all the benefits of shaving, with none of the disasterous side effects.
Been there, done that.
100
Wow. Shaving your nuts is now right up there with Rocket Science and Brain Surgery. Dude, get a disposable razor, get in the shower and shave your sack. You'll figure it out. Really. You will.
101
For the record, there's one way in which J Sisters in NYC is not overhyped (despite Sex & the City overexposure): they wax men, balls'n'all, without a blink. Expect to pay about $80, though, and to get an older lady with limited English.
102
Dan, Dan... Most munches are pansexual with the only requirements being that attendees are adults with the capacity to consent and that they understand the basic concept of discretion.
CLUBS and PARTIES are often more specific about who (and what kinks) are welcome but munches are generally pretty laid back and the calender info will generally state clearly any restrictions.
And this guy's "perfect woman" is a pilot, flight attendant or regional sales rep- A woman who travels extensively and, if the ones I know are a fair sample, have difficulty maintaining relationships because most people (men and women) find it too hard to be apart so much... takes a special breed to be able to fully embrace the see-saw quality of such a relationship.
CLUBS and PARTIES are often more specific about who (and what kinks) are welcome but munches are generally pretty laid back and the calender info will generally state clearly any restrictions.
And this guy's "perfect woman" is a pilot, flight attendant or regional sales rep- A woman who travels extensively and, if the ones I know are a fair sample, have difficulty maintaining relationships because most people (men and women) find it too hard to be apart so much... takes a special breed to be able to fully embrace the see-saw quality of such a relationship.
103
To the hairy dude - shave with a standard multi-blade safety razor in a hot shower with lots of shaving gel or a good quality shower gel. I've done this for 15 years and never once nicked or cut myself while barely a day goes by that I don't somehow manage to cut my face while shaving.
104
Holy Jeez! For a bunch of people who harp day in and day out about how others should accept YOUR kinks and preferences, you guys sure seem to be getting awfully steamed about a little bit of hair! IT'S HAIR. Shave it, don't shave it, dye it hot pink, give yourself a pube mohawk, who cares? By the time someone you're arrtacted to gets your pants off, a little hair (or lack thereof) is unlikely to stop them in their tracks. If it does, it's more like to be an issue of hygene then one of style. This guy's already decided what he WANTS, he just wants advice about how to go about it. And by the way, was Google broken? I'm sure there's everything from advice to videos of people removing their own pubic hair to work with. Use a little common sense, be careful, and have fun. The only downside I've ever found was itchy stubble when/if you decide to grow it back.
105
No. 84 - Did you mean to say that TAN's scenario was very hot? It certainly is. How much action are you likely to get despite bringing alon a few extra pounds? Lots, you can be certain of that .
106
Silly suggestion for the anonymous lady....maybe place a condom on your pussy as an invitation and a strong hint to use it?...
107
@98 - Shaving is an aesthetic choice, and that's fair enough, do it if you and your partner like the look of it, but it's definitely not the most hygienic... the hair is there to wick moisture away and give a larger surface area for evaporation of sweat and other moisture in the process sending those sexy pheromones out there too to lure in your lover.. :0) Add the fact that tiny nicks from shaving or loss of skin cells from waxing leave you more open to infection then it's probably a whole lot less hygienic and potentially stinkier to be bald down there.. If you wash everyday with unperfumed soap or a pH balanced shower gel and wear undies that let your bits breathe a bit (or be daring and leave them off entirely ;0) ) then you'll just get the sexy pheromones and no funky smells..:0)
109
That "Prudence" is really a boring writer. It is like listening to your uptight aging aunt try to be "cool".
Yo Hairy Ball guy, shaving carefully with a regular old razor and soap is pretty easy. A friend of mine was doing it and I asked him about it and he said, "Just be careful, that's all", and he was right. Use scissors first if you need to, just like it if was your beard. I've done it dozens of times and never had a single cut.
Yo Hairy Ball guy, shaving carefully with a regular old razor and soap is pretty easy. A friend of mine was doing it and I asked him about it and he said, "Just be careful, that's all", and he was right. Use scissors first if you need to, just like it if was your beard. I've done it dozens of times and never had a single cut.
110
#9,
I agree that looks are hardly a sufficient base for a relationship, but they are necessary, at least at first. Why? Because before anyone meets anyone else, looks tell us who we want to meet, or might potentially want to meet. Sure, you hope that the attractive person you meet will also share interests, be compatible, etc., but you have to meet the person to find out if that's the case. And by definition, a stranger you want to meet is someone who looks attractive. Until you know something about the person, looks are all there is to go on.
The cliché about men being visually stimulated is based in fact, at the very least when it comes to strangers. That's just the way it is, and like it or not, anyone who is dealing with men will have to deal with that reality.
No one ever saw a complete stranger across the room and thought, "wow, I'd really like to discuss literature with her!"
I agree that looks are hardly a sufficient base for a relationship, but they are necessary, at least at first. Why? Because before anyone meets anyone else, looks tell us who we want to meet, or might potentially want to meet. Sure, you hope that the attractive person you meet will also share interests, be compatible, etc., but you have to meet the person to find out if that's the case. And by definition, a stranger you want to meet is someone who looks attractive. Until you know something about the person, looks are all there is to go on.
The cliché about men being visually stimulated is based in fact, at the very least when it comes to strangers. That's just the way it is, and like it or not, anyone who is dealing with men will have to deal with that reality.
No one ever saw a complete stranger across the room and thought, "wow, I'd really like to discuss literature with her!"
111
LOST: You're not the only 20- / 30-something out there who has had very little relationship and sexual experience. I would suggest going to counseling to talk about hang-ups and how to move past them. Therapy helped me a lot in getting over my own fear of intimacy. The munches sound like a good idea. In general, though, just get out there: take dancing lessons, get drinks on Friday night with friends, join a hiking club. As long as you're not sitting at home alone, you open yourself to relationship possibilities.
112
Well, Dan is no fan of the "pick up community" but as a group of guys trying to figure out how to bring women into their lives, they seem to be doing a pretty good job. the simple answer any one involved would tell you is, you have to go out and talk to women. talk to hot women, talk to not hot women. talk to men. Joke around. Flirt.
No need for therapy. No need for fancy tricks and techniques. Just talk to them. Eventually, it will not be a big deal and you will find it easy to do. it is as simple as that.
As for the woman with the fantasy, another simple answer is to find a guy who you can get to know and trust, then let him carefully screen and select some men to come by and participate, and make sure everything goes okay. Dan's idea is fine, but if you don't want to bother with sex clubs and munches (what an unsexy word) let a guy you know and trust set it up for you.
No need for therapy. No need for fancy tricks and techniques. Just talk to them. Eventually, it will not be a big deal and you will find it easy to do. it is as simple as that.
As for the woman with the fantasy, another simple answer is to find a guy who you can get to know and trust, then let him carefully screen and select some men to come by and participate, and make sure everything goes okay. Dan's idea is fine, but if you don't want to bother with sex clubs and munches (what an unsexy word) let a guy you know and trust set it up for you.
113
I'm a hairstylist ( male) and work for a salon/ medi-spa in Baltimore, the salon is quite high end and located in a neighborhood filled with young professionals both gay and straight. My point is...if you go to a reputable place there is no need to be uncomfortable about getting ur pubic hair waxed or lazered( we offer both) I can't speak to the pain involved but I can say it is a very safe and effective bet. I should mention that while it is uncomfortable to strip down, let alone call and book an appt. for such services, keep in mind that most of the people performing these services are professional and, trust me on this one, have seen much worse! :-)
I also wanted to say Dan, I love reading ur coloum, I catch every week and I love how well you handle all the idiot naysayers that send you letters, your a class act!
Rin
I also wanted to say Dan, I love reading ur coloum, I catch every week and I love how well you handle all the idiot naysayers that send you letters, your a class act!
Rin
115
Hmm, aside from the submissive thing, LOST sounds almost like the man-version of myself. If this were a movie, I'd ask you to give him my contact info, and we'd happily, though awkwardly, stumble our way to true love.... However, since it's not, I'd like Dan to shed a little more light on his problem as well, for my own information, and people who are equally inept... (Sorry if this is addressed more in another comment, but I didn't have time to read all 114!) How to get over that fear? Sure, therapy's great, if you can afford it, but, many can't. I might also add a small suggestion to try online dating. www.okcupid.com is a great website, if you're willing to just take some chances emailing with people (easier than in person, and good practice in a way) and go with the flow in terms of people not always living up to expectations they set on their profiles. It might be a good option to start off with. I tried with a little success, made some friends, dated a little, but kind of got tired of it after a few months. LOVE YOU DAN! <3
116
Nothing feels quite as exciting as a freshly shaved pair of balls and a freshly shaved sphincter.
117
I shave my man's balls, and we make it a bit of foreplay. When he gets really hairy, we'll break out the electric shaver, with the guard on it. Afterwards, when he's down to stubble, we'll soak in our 2-man tub a bit, then I'll soap him up and shave him with a regular Gillette razor. It's definitely easier for me to do it with my closer-eye view in the tub than for him to do it himself in the shower. Smooth, suckable balls, and we're off to bed! If you've got a partner, ask him/her to do it for you...make it fun!
118
I like to have smooth, hairless balls, crotch, ass and back. Hair everywhere else is fine -- I have a beard. For the back, ass, and crotch, I go to a salon and have it all sugared, once a month. yes, it hurts a little, but easily worth the minor discomfort. I've never had a problem with ingrown hairs, maybe I'm just lucky. For the balls, I do it myself with tweezers, been doing it for years. It's easy, quick, painless.
119
What?!?! Shaving my balls once or twice weekly is the easiest and most pain-free way of keeping your balls nice and smooth all of the time. I've been doing it for over 12 years, and never a problem. Just use good shave cream and top-line razors (Fusion), and you are fine. Go slow and use a fresh razor. No problems in 12 years- ever! Smoother than a baby's bottom!!! Please don't waste time and pain into doing waxing or anything else. This is the only place where I've seen Dan off-base on an issue. Waxing damages the skin as well as the folicle!
120
Ah, by the way, Dan is right about almost everything, Men Against Dan. You are a dumb ass. Dan rules, gay or not.
121
For Hairy Dude-
I myself HATE shaving. In fact, I find it semi-painful unless I time it so that it's not so short or too long to shave. And that doesn't include whatever nicks I get while shaving
That said? Unless your scrote is particularly sensitive, shaving that area without cutting is difficult. I've shaved the jewels plenty without a cut, and it's FAR easier than facial shaving.
I myself HATE shaving. In fact, I find it semi-painful unless I time it so that it's not so short or too long to shave. And that doesn't include whatever nicks I get while shaving
That said? Unless your scrote is particularly sensitive, shaving that area without cutting is difficult. I've shaved the jewels plenty without a cut, and it's FAR easier than facial shaving.
123
Men Against Dan: Fuck you and your misandry. Men shouldn't seek your advice because you're clearly incapable of taking their side. You may not like pussy yourself, you cocksucker, but you'll take the twat's side every time. The world doesn't need another asshole "advice professional" who sides with the woman no matter what she does.
Savage Misandry? Don't be ridiculous. I've been reading Dan's column from the beginning (If I remember correctly, the original concept was a gay guy giving advice to straight people, and I loved that idea) and will back up what he says: he does not side with the woman no matter what she does (in contrast to what I see many female advice columnists do.)
Savage Misandry? Don't be ridiculous. I've been reading Dan's column from the beginning (If I remember correctly, the original concept was a gay guy giving advice to straight people, and I loved that idea) and will back up what he says: he does not side with the woman no matter what she does (in contrast to what I see many female advice columnists do.)
125
"No one ever saw a complete stranger across the room and thought, "wow, I'd really like to discuss literature with her!" "
Speak for yourself. I've had that thought before. If I'm watching a guy across a room and he has certain "tells" that indicate he might be an intellectual match, that's exactly what I think. It's just as easy to check out, say, a book someone's carrying, a message on a t-shirt, interesting taste in jewelry, the fact that he's nodding along in enjoyment to a song I happen to love, whether he's drinking craft beer or yellow fizz, or a million other little things as it is to check out his ass.
And for some of us here in grown-up world, those things actually take priority. Whod'a thunk?
Speak for yourself. I've had that thought before. If I'm watching a guy across a room and he has certain "tells" that indicate he might be an intellectual match, that's exactly what I think. It's just as easy to check out, say, a book someone's carrying, a message on a t-shirt, interesting taste in jewelry, the fact that he's nodding along in enjoyment to a song I happen to love, whether he's drinking craft beer or yellow fizz, or a million other little things as it is to check out his ass.
And for some of us here in grown-up world, those things actually take priority. Whod'a thunk?
126
9: I am loathe to accept anyone at face value who says : "I can turn a girl I'm not attracted to beet red if I have to, but I get tongue-tied around girls I think are hot." STOP FOCUSING ON LOOKS!!!! Stop it! Everyone!!! Yes, chemistry is good, but focusing on the "hot" factor doesn't do ANYONE favors. It's dehumanizing to everyone involved.
You can be friends with someone if you get along with them and/or have things in common, but when it comes to getting sexually intimate with them, looks are going to play a large part. And for women as well as men. In my experience, and opinion, looks are no less important to women than they are to men. The only difference is that men are more honest about it.
The word "shallow" is thrown around far too liberally. People who are truly "shallow" don't care about anything but looks. They have no interest in going below the surface to find out what a person thinks, or how they feel, or what they like. But those people, in my opinion, are few. Most people want to get to know someone as well as find them attractive.
Just because LOST finds some girls hot and others not, doesn't mean he has no interest in anything else about them. To me, he's simply stating what is common to many people: the more you're attracted to someone, the more likely you are to be nervous around them.
You can be friends with someone if you get along with them and/or have things in common, but when it comes to getting sexually intimate with them, looks are going to play a large part. And for women as well as men. In my experience, and opinion, looks are no less important to women than they are to men. The only difference is that men are more honest about it.
The word "shallow" is thrown around far too liberally. People who are truly "shallow" don't care about anything but looks. They have no interest in going below the surface to find out what a person thinks, or how they feel, or what they like. But those people, in my opinion, are few. Most people want to get to know someone as well as find them attractive.
Just because LOST finds some girls hot and others not, doesn't mean he has no interest in anything else about them. To me, he's simply stating what is common to many people: the more you're attracted to someone, the more likely you are to be nervous around them.
127
Denverguy, you are my new hero!
I'm a girl, so my experience with balls is limited to what my boyfriends have asked me to do to theirs, but I know that when I shave my vagina - or anything else actually - olive oil is the BEST. Skin comes out smooth, sexy, and nick-free. Most supermarkets will have sales on olive oil regularly, and it can come out cheaper than Skintimate or any of the special shaving soaps.
I'm a girl, so my experience with balls is limited to what my boyfriends have asked me to do to theirs, but I know that when I shave my vagina - or anything else actually - olive oil is the BEST. Skin comes out smooth, sexy, and nick-free. Most supermarkets will have sales on olive oil regularly, and it can come out cheaper than Skintimate or any of the special shaving soaps.
128
lol i must be insane.. but i treat my boyfriend to a personal grooming session every couple days. i'm the one who dislikes 'hairy balls in my mouth' so i trim them. i use a barbers comb and scissors.
take my time, cut the hair nice and short and even. he stays still and enjoys the attention. i sometimes take the time to 'admire' my work.
been doing it for quite some time now, no cuts, nicks or discomfort.
take my time, cut the hair nice and short and even. he stays still and enjoys the attention. i sometimes take the time to 'admire' my work.
been doing it for quite some time now, no cuts, nicks or discomfort.
129
To the hairy balled gentleman-
I've found that, for some inexplicable reason, a straightedge razor glides effortlessly over my nutsack leaving nothing but smooth, hairless bliss. No razorburn, no nicks. Just give it a try. A light touch and just a little bit of shaving cream is the key. Hot wax on my balls? Ridiculous. I wish you luck my friend.
I've found that, for some inexplicable reason, a straightedge razor glides effortlessly over my nutsack leaving nothing but smooth, hairless bliss. No razorburn, no nicks. Just give it a try. A light touch and just a little bit of shaving cream is the key. Hot wax on my balls? Ridiculous. I wish you luck my friend.
130
To the hairy balled gentleman-
I've found that, for some inexplicable reason, a straightedge razor glides effortlessly over my nutsack leaving nothing but smooth, hairless bliss. No razorburn, no nicks. Just give it a try. A light touch and just a little bit of shaving cream is the key. Hot wax on my balls? Ridiculous. I wish you luck my friend.
I've found that, for some inexplicable reason, a straightedge razor glides effortlessly over my nutsack leaving nothing but smooth, hairless bliss. No razorburn, no nicks. Just give it a try. A light touch and just a little bit of shaving cream is the key. Hot wax on my balls? Ridiculous. I wish you luck my friend.
131
I've read Savage Love for years with an open mind and straight face.
That being said I laughed out loud when I heard about people putting toothpaste on their nuts.
I'm a submissive myself but ouch, that's got to sting.
That being said I laughed out loud when I heard about people putting toothpaste on their nuts.
I'm a submissive myself but ouch, that's got to sting.
132
I agree that ball shaving is the way to go, but you definitely cannot use a bic. You need a quality razor, my bf uses my venus razor and it works great. trim with scissors before hand so it's not too shaggy for the razor, then just get the hair all nice n soft in the shower, put one foot up on something stable a la capt morgan, and delicately, gracefully, shave those balls. it doesn't hurt to stretch a little beforehand so you can bend over far enough to see the back of the sac. it's worth it. the woman or women in your life will appreciate it. much more pleasant to suck shaved balls than hairy ones.
133
Re: hairy balls..my boyfriend had the same problem he was really really hairy...I shave his crotch including his balls myself...but instead of using a man's shaver I used mine which is strictly made for women..he loved it...need I say what took place when the shaving was over.
134
@ #23 "Ass Goblins of Aushwitz" hasn't been worth playing for months. Blizzard nerfed the tongue procs and extended the enrage timers on all the female guards.
135
Lots of women on here wondering why men shave their package. I don't do it all the time, but when I do, it's for three reasons:
1. Heightened sensitivity.
2. All the man bits are more easily seen and caressed by partner. My wife likes my "chicken" parts and she likes to suck a smooth pair of balls.
3. You get an extra optical inch by man trimming. The rod looks seriously longer. Every little bit helps average Joes like me!
1. Heightened sensitivity.
2. All the man bits are more easily seen and caressed by partner. My wife likes my "chicken" parts and she likes to suck a smooth pair of balls.
3. You get an extra optical inch by man trimming. The rod looks seriously longer. Every little bit helps average Joes like me!
136
LOST may have mild Aspergers, a form of autism, since he "likes solitude." Likely he has LOVE-SHYNESS, a phobia of sex and romance, since he is 30 and nearly a virgin despite being a great guy. Related to these conditions is being a "femme heterosexual" or "male lesbian", where the guy is naturally submissive. This submissiveness is not usually BSDM related, rather he innately expects the lady to make the moves. Unfortunately, Dan and his readers seem to like fetish titillation rather than probing deeper into the problems of 30 year old virgins.
137
You were wrong about the man who didn't like his wife kissing a gay guy. Why is she kissing a gay guy? He isn't interested. If she is doing it because it's "safe" and can dismiss it b/c it wouldn't lead to an affair she is an asshole. If you don't have trust in your relationship or can't agree on fidelity, you should end your relationship. Only gay people and religious nuts think nothing is more important than being married. If your relationship is hurtful, you shouldn't be in it. You can still be friends and still have sex, but don't pretend you have a "marriage" if your relationship isn't working for both or you.
138
Actually, ball-shaving is pretty easy. Use a disposable razor, soap up and zip off the "long, scraggly, gross hairs." No nicks, no problem.
139
Go, Dan, GO! I live for your column! Once again I feel that your advice in this week's column is right on the money. And I'm not just kissing your butt.
Spot on response to MAD: I'm happily divorced and would FAR rather continue to live alone than remain unhappily married.
Spot on response to MAD: I'm happily divorced and would FAR rather continue to live alone than remain unhappily married.
140
I've shaved my balls a lot using a regular old razor and Alba shaving cream and never had a single problem. The only cut I've ever had was using a set of electric clippers. I sure as hell would never use a chemical depilant on my nuts.
141
old (30+) guys who've been taking care of their skin have super stretchy scrotus: I'm sure several methods work, but waxing or any type of pulling isn't an option for the stretcht guys. More 'give' means hair that doesn't let go, but skin , and tender bits, definitely get hurt. Also, the ingrowns are a bitch not worth the trouble. When it's time to be a little breezier / kiltier, some gents prefer electric trimmers for that plucked-chicken-like section of the anatomy. stretching a section at a time and then trimming with a #1 or #0 works fine, risks no cuts, and leaves you without briefs-pinch, hotrocks, scheddyballs, and makes ball sucking lovers happy.
142
i would suggest, as many have above, to try waxing those hairy balls if it bothers the guy. i get brazilians, so waiting for my waxing appointment has given me time to talk with men awaiting their monthly ball waxing. the ones i have spoken with have all said it wasn't totally ouch free, but it wasn't nearly as bad as they first expected it to be.
i have seen waxing gel and creams you can buy... but i don't know if the numbing effects would be very good for such a sensitive location. ask a dr.?
i have seen waxing gel and creams you can buy... but i don't know if the numbing effects would be very good for such a sensitive location. ask a dr.?
143
I shave my balls and I have *never* cut myself down there.
But if I did get a little nick, so what?
I think I would survive. The hairy dude sounds like a big baby.
But if I did get a little nick, so what?
I think I would survive. The hairy dude sounds like a big baby.
145
A short time an event similar to TAN's fantasy took place in my home town. An attractive woman wanted to be gang banged for her birthday present. Her boyfriend set up a bed in the living room, invited over about 35 male and female (some were bi with strap-ons) friends, and had several fluffers to get the guys hard and ready. Well, the first guy up humped and licked for over 2 hours. He would not finish. The other guests started getting bored, left the party and the gang bang never took place.
146
For painless, smooth balls, just use tweezers. Tug, don't yank, and go with the direction the hair is already going. It actually feels good, and doesn't take long.
148
I don't see what the big deal is; I've been using a regular safety razor (atra or trac II) to shave my sizzling nutsac weekly for about 20 years, and I've never had a cut or a nic. It helps if you do it in a bath as opposed to a shower, and moisturize afterward.
Why in the world Dan thinks waxing, which is bound to be extremely painful, is the only way to go, adds more fuel to his being clueless (right up there with his claming that "less than .00002% of people who do facebook personals are interested in meeting others" -- uh-huh; je ne le pense pas, dude).
Why in the world Dan thinks waxing, which is bound to be extremely painful, is the only way to go, adds more fuel to his being clueless (right up there with his claming that "less than .00002% of people who do facebook personals are interested in meeting others" -- uh-huh; je ne le pense pas, dude).
149
shaving the bits and pieces is not that hard. And if you do nick yourself, you won't feel it. It doesn't hurt like it does on your face or legs, dunno why.
150
to 125,
"No one ever saw a complete stranger across the room and thought, "wow, I'd really like to discuss literature with her!" "
Speak for yourself. I've had that thought before. If I'm watching a guy across a room and he has certain "tells" that indicate he might be an intellectual match, that's exactly what I think. It's just as easy to check out, say, a book someone's carrying, a message on a t-shirt, interesting taste in jewelry, the fact that he's nodding along in enjoyment to a song I happen to love, whether he's drinking craft beer or yellow fizz, or a million other little things as it is to check out his ass.
And for some of us here in grown-up world, those things actually take priority. Whod'a thunk?"
You must realize you are a woman, and he is talking about men. I have no doubt some women see a man and want to discuss literature. But no man does that. Well, maybe a few, but very few. Most men wonder what she looks like naked.
"No one ever saw a complete stranger across the room and thought, "wow, I'd really like to discuss literature with her!" "
Speak for yourself. I've had that thought before. If I'm watching a guy across a room and he has certain "tells" that indicate he might be an intellectual match, that's exactly what I think. It's just as easy to check out, say, a book someone's carrying, a message on a t-shirt, interesting taste in jewelry, the fact that he's nodding along in enjoyment to a song I happen to love, whether he's drinking craft beer or yellow fizz, or a million other little things as it is to check out his ass.
And for some of us here in grown-up world, those things actually take priority. Whod'a thunk?"
You must realize you are a woman, and he is talking about men. I have no doubt some women see a man and want to discuss literature. But no man does that. Well, maybe a few, but very few. Most men wonder what she looks like naked.
152
Okay... so ever heard of a beard trimmer? It would be pretty damn hard to cut yourself with one, and would leave the area neatly trimmed.
And to MAD, and everyone else who commented on this, Dan is soooooo right. GET OVER IT
And to MAD, and everyone else who commented on this, Dan is soooooo right. GET OVER IT
153
Wow! I have hairy balls, too! Damn that pesky Y chromosome.
That said... The thought of having my balls licked, sucked, nibbled, juggled, gargled or anything else has never appealed to me. The couple times a woman took the initiative to do so, it was painful - so, either she was sucking on them WAY too hard, or my "family jewels" are just a bit more delicate than others. So be it. And while I like the "silky smooth" feel of 100% hairless scrotum skin, I find that it's far more effort than I care to put forth - considering the drought that my sex life is experiencing.
I have... shaved (tolerable, though I can't manage to get all of the pesky hairs), plucked (that was almost enough to make me cry), and used Nair (can we say chemical burn?) Never again. And I'm one of those hirsute men who have an abundance of hair. I don't put gorillas to shame, nor do I have a cashmere rug on my chest, but I have enough that having a hairless sack dangling between hairy legs and below a hairy stomach kinda seems... silly.
That said... The thought of having my balls licked, sucked, nibbled, juggled, gargled or anything else has never appealed to me. The couple times a woman took the initiative to do so, it was painful - so, either she was sucking on them WAY too hard, or my "family jewels" are just a bit more delicate than others. So be it. And while I like the "silky smooth" feel of 100% hairless scrotum skin, I find that it's far more effort than I care to put forth - considering the drought that my sex life is experiencing.
I have... shaved (tolerable, though I can't manage to get all of the pesky hairs), plucked (that was almost enough to make me cry), and used Nair (can we say chemical burn?) Never again. And I'm one of those hirsute men who have an abundance of hair. I don't put gorillas to shame, nor do I have a cashmere rug on my chest, but I have enough that having a hairless sack dangling between hairy legs and below a hairy stomach kinda seems... silly.
154
MAD, trust me, Dan is not anti-male. I'm a woman and I've literally cried myself to sleep after a Savage Love podcast.
Dan has taught me a lot of things about men I didn't want to know.
Real misandry exists, but you'll find more of it by reading Warren Farrell.
Dan has taught me a lot of things about men I didn't want to know.
Real misandry exists, but you'll find more of it by reading Warren Farrell.
155
I just wanted to chime in on the above comments to MAD. Go cry a goddamn river, MAD. You totally missed the point on some really helpful advice on forgiveness and being realistic about long-term relationships that I'm sure have saved quite a few (that should have been saved). It's people like you that make even more man-hating women.
You just keep doin' what you're doin', Dan. You're amazing.
Wait, I forgot your revulsion to compliments.
I meant, you suck.
You just keep doin' what you're doin', Dan. You're amazing.
Wait, I forgot your revulsion to compliments.
I meant, you suck.
156
Just a thought for the guy who doesn't like the hair on his balls... You don't think it's going to look a little weird if you're hairy all over and your balls are just bald?
157
Hello Dan,
I have to agree with MAD, although, I don't agree with the language that he was using towards you.
The husband is not happy with what his wife is doing, and I don't think its fair for you to make him feel worse. If that was my wife, I would feel hurt and disrespected, regardless if she had too much to drink. There is no excuse for that behaviour, its too easy to say " I had to much to drink" that's B.S. If you know you lose control when you drink, then don't drink so much. Too easy.
For the husband, I would feel the same if my wife was acting like, I would have to question her loyalty It starts with a kiss then who knows, before you know it, it ends in something else.
Best of luck.
I have to agree with MAD, although, I don't agree with the language that he was using towards you.
The husband is not happy with what his wife is doing, and I don't think its fair for you to make him feel worse. If that was my wife, I would feel hurt and disrespected, regardless if she had too much to drink. There is no excuse for that behaviour, its too easy to say " I had to much to drink" that's B.S. If you know you lose control when you drink, then don't drink so much. Too easy.
For the husband, I would feel the same if my wife was acting like, I would have to question her loyalty It starts with a kiss then who knows, before you know it, it ends in something else.
Best of luck.
158
Anybody out there know a way to TRIM pubes, etc without creating irritating stubble? I'd love to thin out the forest, but the wife objects, for reason above.
Burnham Wood
Burnham Wood
159
I would NEVER wax my nuts...holy SHIT! I shave my sack regularly and it's easy...and unless you're using a naked blade, there's VERY little risk of nicking the skin. I use my Quattro and it does absolutely fine.
160
Another possibility for Clever Nickname up to You is Vaniqa, a prescription cream that inhibits hair growth. Its intended use is for facial hair but I don't see why one couldn't use it on other body parts. You spread it thinly on clean skin twice a day. It take a few weeks to take effect, but it does work.
161
Once again, the need for a straight guy guyinist advice columnist has become painfully obvious.
In my post In Defense of Guys, http://guyinism.com/?p=283, I laid out the case that it is simply unacceptable that the best guys have had for a pro-guy guy columnist is Dan Savage, a gay activist. As I wrote:
1. Dan advises women that all guys watch porn.
On the other hand, I, DirkJohanson, advise women that normal women watch porn …
2. Dan advises women that oral comes standard, both sucking cock and eating pussy – easy for him to say – when was the last time his gay nose went anywhere near a wide-open stinkbox on a bad day? Talk about not practicing what you preach!
On the other hand, I, DirkJohanson, advise you that you should expect your cock to be sucked even if you don’t eat pussy.
3. Dan maintains that under certain circumstances a husband (or a wife) has a right and a responsibility to cheat.
On the other hand, I, DirkJohanson, maintain that nearly all guys have the responsibility to cheat – because if you don’t, you are making all
of us other guys look bad.
Look – I’m not trying to savage Savage – Lord knows, its nice to at least have someone speaking out for us – but shouldn’t us be speaking out for us? Maybe like many of the women I know who request that I not wear a condom, the woman inquiring of Savage hates condoms and wants be ridden bareback. Is not what’s good for the bear – or Andrew Sullivan – good for the gander?
What does Dan Savage know about swingers clubs? Apparently, not much, but I, DirkJohanson, know a lot about them. I’ve been going to swingers clubs – numerous swingers clubs – for 18 years. I’ve fucked in swingers clubs, been sucked in swingers clubs, was the General Counsel for a swingers club, and a girlfriend of mine even resided in a swingers club, nightly sleeping on – and all-too-rarely fucking me on – one of the clubs’ fuck beds. I’ve even had a menage-a-14 in a swingers club.
In fact, sorry Dan, but while single guys often can’t get into a swingers club on a Saturday night, single guys are indeed welcome on most nights in nearly every swingers club in the land. I hate swinging as a single – single guys in a swingers club hold a sexual status somewhere between lepers and last pick in sports – but, ultimately, especially after the husbands and boyfriends of the swingstresses have dropped a load in or on some strange – there’s plenty of sex to be had, and the emotional bruising a single guy goes through watching dozens of people all around him have sex hour after hour can be easily avoided merely by showing up late.
Don’t believe me about single guys being allowed in? Lets go to the evidence: the websites of some of the top swingers clubs in the countries.
At the Red Rooster, in Vegas, which many regard as the best club in the whole U S of A, single guys can get lucky 7 nights a week. While there are limits on where guys can cruise the club solo, says the club: “Some single women are at the parties but there is normally a lot more single men then women. This is not a bad thing though, there are many couples that are looking to party with single men” (emphasis supplied).
At Trapeze, in Fort Lauderdale, regarded by many as the best swingers club on the East Coast, $100 gets a single guy a monthly membership, and as little as $45 more (on a Thursday, $75 on a Wednesday or Friday) gets the guy in the door of a club which requires – requires! – nudity throughout about a third of its square footage.
And, as I’ve been told by a club owner, the rules aren’t always the rules if you’re the right guy – I’ve been invited to several couples-only nights as a single, and the Trap ain’t turning away legendary baseball player, drug user, and swinger Darryl Strawberry if he shows up at the door without a date.
Savage also fails to mention the alternative of the many gang bang clubs throughout the land – organizations whose very vires is stuffing many cocks into a smaller number of chicks.
At Dark Caverns Real Players Club parties, some of my sexploits at which I documented in Johns by Choice, the typical menage is white women getting nailed by multiple black guys at a time. Bareback isn’t allowed without an HIV-negative test result, meaning Andrew Sullivan would have to wear a condom, and the DCRP Club usually has an STD testing company present at each party (indeed, the tester I met is cute, a swinger herself, received a naked massage, and gave me her phone number). A whole page on the DCRP website is dedicated to club rules such as “NO MEANS NO.”
And if you’re a white guy like DirkJohanson, but not hung enough to want to show at Dark Caverns like DirkJohanson, out in Cali, there’s West Coast Gangbangs. Clubs like this all over the country.
Its not just Savage’s ignorance of swing clubs that’s a problem. Savage’s piece is tinged with heteroguyphobia. In putting a damper on the girl’s fantasy, you can almost hear Savage lamenting, “where where chicks like this before I decided I was gay?!” He advises the woman to “find a couple or two” – why not bring a large or otherwise intimidating guy she already knows in tow to look out for her? Savage also fails to mention that the woman could arrange all this with the club management – presumably because club owners – like most owners of decent-sized businesses – are straight guys, and therefore presumably not to be trusted in the presence of naked strange.
Savage also apparently does not realize how sexually aggressive many couples are in swingers clubs toward single women. Having had to defend myself against cuckholding couples on several occasions, the notion that swinger couples are going to fully cooperate with facilitating the woman’s fantasies to screw a bunch of guys, rather than attempt to waylay her between their own loins, is fanciful.
And what does Dan Savage know firsthand about satisfying the fantasies of women who want to be blindfolded, bent over and fucked by random passers-by? In her inquiry, the woman specifically stated that going to the club first to talk to people “kind of kills the fantasy of it, really.” But his advice to the chick, who asked, “can I just walk in off the street and bend over?”, is to make a big production of it, and is to the effect of “beware of those horrible straight guys.”
To Dan Savage, a lot of us – or perhaps all of us inherently – are still the big bad straight guys. He doesn’t think guys that are sex-savvy enough to be in a swingers club are capable of acting appropriately. A woman wants to be fucked blindfolded by all-comers – Savage apparently pictures us trying to set her on fire or something.
The right advice, Dan, wouldn’t be to have this admirably horny woman throw herself in the hands of couples. The right advice would have been to tell her to show up on a Friday night, or, for the rare clubs that maintain such hours, on a Wednesday afternoon (doctors’ day off).
Yes, its true that, as Savage has boasted, he gives better advice than Prudie or Amy or Carolyn. But like Prudie and Amy and Carolyn, Savage sucks cocks. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you don’t – and neither do I. Who speaks to YOU?
Me?
or Dan Savage?
Who speaks to the guys – the regular guys – of not just America, but the world?
Me – DirkFuckingJohanson.
Dan Savage, I hereby issue you a challenge. Find me a website of just one on-premises swingers club in the United States – just one – that is open at least two nights a week and, by policy, does not allow single guys into the club.
Betcha can’t do it.
Finally, waxing is not the way to go for hairy balls. Shaving is easy, and laser hair removal is recommended before the hair turns gray and get stubbly from shaving. I know - I'm the author of "The Balls Monologues" (http://guyinism.com). The first piece of advice I told guys in my very first post was to shave their balls. Shaving balls is my mantra. And chicks love it.
Note: the original of this post, with links and pictures, is found at http://guyinism.com/?p=326
More...
In my post In Defense of Guys, http://guyinism.com/?p=283, I laid out the case that it is simply unacceptable that the best guys have had for a pro-guy guy columnist is Dan Savage, a gay activist. As I wrote:
1. Dan advises women that all guys watch porn.
On the other hand, I, DirkJohanson, advise women that normal women watch porn …
2. Dan advises women that oral comes standard, both sucking cock and eating pussy – easy for him to say – when was the last time his gay nose went anywhere near a wide-open stinkbox on a bad day? Talk about not practicing what you preach!
On the other hand, I, DirkJohanson, advise you that you should expect your cock to be sucked even if you don’t eat pussy.
3. Dan maintains that under certain circumstances a husband (or a wife) has a right and a responsibility to cheat.
On the other hand, I, DirkJohanson, maintain that nearly all guys have the responsibility to cheat – because if you don’t, you are making all
of us other guys look bad.
Look – I’m not trying to savage Savage – Lord knows, its nice to at least have someone speaking out for us – but shouldn’t us be speaking out for us? Maybe like many of the women I know who request that I not wear a condom, the woman inquiring of Savage hates condoms and wants be ridden bareback. Is not what’s good for the bear – or Andrew Sullivan – good for the gander?
What does Dan Savage know about swingers clubs? Apparently, not much, but I, DirkJohanson, know a lot about them. I’ve been going to swingers clubs – numerous swingers clubs – for 18 years. I’ve fucked in swingers clubs, been sucked in swingers clubs, was the General Counsel for a swingers club, and a girlfriend of mine even resided in a swingers club, nightly sleeping on – and all-too-rarely fucking me on – one of the clubs’ fuck beds. I’ve even had a menage-a-14 in a swingers club.
In fact, sorry Dan, but while single guys often can’t get into a swingers club on a Saturday night, single guys are indeed welcome on most nights in nearly every swingers club in the land. I hate swinging as a single – single guys in a swingers club hold a sexual status somewhere between lepers and last pick in sports – but, ultimately, especially after the husbands and boyfriends of the swingstresses have dropped a load in or on some strange – there’s plenty of sex to be had, and the emotional bruising a single guy goes through watching dozens of people all around him have sex hour after hour can be easily avoided merely by showing up late.
Don’t believe me about single guys being allowed in? Lets go to the evidence: the websites of some of the top swingers clubs in the countries.
At the Red Rooster, in Vegas, which many regard as the best club in the whole U S of A, single guys can get lucky 7 nights a week. While there are limits on where guys can cruise the club solo, says the club: “Some single women are at the parties but there is normally a lot more single men then women. This is not a bad thing though, there are many couples that are looking to party with single men” (emphasis supplied).
At Trapeze, in Fort Lauderdale, regarded by many as the best swingers club on the East Coast, $100 gets a single guy a monthly membership, and as little as $45 more (on a Thursday, $75 on a Wednesday or Friday) gets the guy in the door of a club which requires – requires! – nudity throughout about a third of its square footage.
And, as I’ve been told by a club owner, the rules aren’t always the rules if you’re the right guy – I’ve been invited to several couples-only nights as a single, and the Trap ain’t turning away legendary baseball player, drug user, and swinger Darryl Strawberry if he shows up at the door without a date.
Savage also fails to mention the alternative of the many gang bang clubs throughout the land – organizations whose very vires is stuffing many cocks into a smaller number of chicks.
At Dark Caverns Real Players Club parties, some of my sexploits at which I documented in Johns by Choice, the typical menage is white women getting nailed by multiple black guys at a time. Bareback isn’t allowed without an HIV-negative test result, meaning Andrew Sullivan would have to wear a condom, and the DCRP Club usually has an STD testing company present at each party (indeed, the tester I met is cute, a swinger herself, received a naked massage, and gave me her phone number). A whole page on the DCRP website is dedicated to club rules such as “NO MEANS NO.”
And if you’re a white guy like DirkJohanson, but not hung enough to want to show at Dark Caverns like DirkJohanson, out in Cali, there’s West Coast Gangbangs. Clubs like this all over the country.
Its not just Savage’s ignorance of swing clubs that’s a problem. Savage’s piece is tinged with heteroguyphobia. In putting a damper on the girl’s fantasy, you can almost hear Savage lamenting, “where where chicks like this before I decided I was gay?!” He advises the woman to “find a couple or two” – why not bring a large or otherwise intimidating guy she already knows in tow to look out for her? Savage also fails to mention that the woman could arrange all this with the club management – presumably because club owners – like most owners of decent-sized businesses – are straight guys, and therefore presumably not to be trusted in the presence of naked strange.
Savage also apparently does not realize how sexually aggressive many couples are in swingers clubs toward single women. Having had to defend myself against cuckholding couples on several occasions, the notion that swinger couples are going to fully cooperate with facilitating the woman’s fantasies to screw a bunch of guys, rather than attempt to waylay her between their own loins, is fanciful.
And what does Dan Savage know firsthand about satisfying the fantasies of women who want to be blindfolded, bent over and fucked by random passers-by? In her inquiry, the woman specifically stated that going to the club first to talk to people “kind of kills the fantasy of it, really.” But his advice to the chick, who asked, “can I just walk in off the street and bend over?”, is to make a big production of it, and is to the effect of “beware of those horrible straight guys.”
To Dan Savage, a lot of us – or perhaps all of us inherently – are still the big bad straight guys. He doesn’t think guys that are sex-savvy enough to be in a swingers club are capable of acting appropriately. A woman wants to be fucked blindfolded by all-comers – Savage apparently pictures us trying to set her on fire or something.
The right advice, Dan, wouldn’t be to have this admirably horny woman throw herself in the hands of couples. The right advice would have been to tell her to show up on a Friday night, or, for the rare clubs that maintain such hours, on a Wednesday afternoon (doctors’ day off).
Yes, its true that, as Savage has boasted, he gives better advice than Prudie or Amy or Carolyn. But like Prudie and Amy and Carolyn, Savage sucks cocks. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you don’t – and neither do I. Who speaks to YOU?
Me?
or Dan Savage?
Who speaks to the guys – the regular guys – of not just America, but the world?
Me – DirkFuckingJohanson.
Dan Savage, I hereby issue you a challenge. Find me a website of just one on-premises swingers club in the United States – just one – that is open at least two nights a week and, by policy, does not allow single guys into the club.
Betcha can’t do it.
Finally, waxing is not the way to go for hairy balls. Shaving is easy, and laser hair removal is recommended before the hair turns gray and get stubbly from shaving. I know - I'm the author of "The Balls Monologues" (http://guyinism.com). The first piece of advice I told guys in my very first post was to shave their balls. Shaving balls is my mantra. And chicks love it.
Note: the original of this post, with links and pictures, is found at http://guyinism.com/?p=326
162
Clever Nickname, I have your solution: The Phillips Norelco Body Groomer. I've been using it for years and it's perfect. It has three different attachments for varying lengths, plus you can use it without attachments for shaving all the way down. There is almost no chance you will cut yourself, even if you use no attachments.
I was so frustrated, trying to use scissors [I don't like completely hairless] before I got this thing. I had even nicked and drawn blood from the sack. This thing has made this one area of keeping myself looking good super simple. I just use it once every few weeks. For the sack, you can just buzz around, but you might have to move things around a bit to really be able to trim evenly.
I use the first one, but the other model or any similar product will do.
http://www.amazon.com/Philips-Norelco-BG…
http://www.amazon.com/Norelco-Body-Groom…
I was so frustrated, trying to use scissors [I don't like completely hairless] before I got this thing. I had even nicked and drawn blood from the sack. This thing has made this one area of keeping myself looking good super simple. I just use it once every few weeks. For the sack, you can just buzz around, but you might have to move things around a bit to really be able to trim evenly.
I use the first one, but the other model or any similar product will do.
http://www.amazon.com/Philips-Norelco-BG…
http://www.amazon.com/Norelco-Body-Groom…
163
Okay, seriously, ball-shaving isn't that big of a deal. Even if you nick yourself it's not that bad. Quit being a pussy.
My methodology: use a trimmer to get the hairs to a length that's easy to shave. Then, get in a hot shower, use conditioner, olive oil, or something else that is non-foaming and non-opaque, and draw your razor across the surface of your scrotum VERY LIGHTLY. Don't apply much pressure, and move the razor in a fairly straight line. For your taint, lift your sack, put your foot on the lip of the bathtub, and shave in a straight line from the base towards your ass.
I'm almost 29 and have been doing this successfully since I was 17. 17 year old Eurasian guys with barely any facial hair can't shave for SHIT, so trust me, it's only as hard as you make it.
Or, you could go the smoother route and PLUCK. C'mon, be a man. It's smoother that way, too.
My methodology: use a trimmer to get the hairs to a length that's easy to shave. Then, get in a hot shower, use conditioner, olive oil, or something else that is non-foaming and non-opaque, and draw your razor across the surface of your scrotum VERY LIGHTLY. Don't apply much pressure, and move the razor in a fairly straight line. For your taint, lift your sack, put your foot on the lip of the bathtub, and shave in a straight line from the base towards your ass.
I'm almost 29 and have been doing this successfully since I was 17. 17 year old Eurasian guys with barely any facial hair can't shave for SHIT, so trust me, it's only as hard as you make it.
Or, you could go the smoother route and PLUCK. C'mon, be a man. It's smoother that way, too.
164
MAD clearly overreacted, and he is a misogynist. That said, there was a column where almost the same thing happened with the genders reversed, and Dan Savage did give different advice.
It's the second letter, by Huritng In Oregon, here:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag…
It's the second letter, by Huritng In Oregon, here:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag…
165
USA-Va-Waynesboro-Aug Co..It's Penis, Butt Sex, Jizzy Time..Looking for 1-on-1 Sex, 3/Somes, Group Sex, Misc Fetishes..I just want hole-pounding, nut-busting, cum-drenching sex.. Gay/Btm, Anything Goes, HIV Neg, Slut.. alongneckturtle@gmail.com
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