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Predator

September 9, 2010

A few nights ago, I got drunk and knocked on my roommate's door and confessed my attraction to him while he was lying in bed in nothing more than his skivvies. And then I asked him if I could sleep in his room because our other roommate—whose bedroom is directly above mine—was having sex so loudly that I couldn't sleep. Which was true, but it clearly didn't make the bed of the roommate I was drunkenly confessing to the appropriate alternative. Not being able to sleep on work nights is sometimes a real problem, but one to be addressed with her, not used as drunken fodder to get into someone else's bed.

I feel pathetic and embarrassed for having thrown myself at my roommate and completely freaked out that I got wasted enough to do something I have daydreamed about but wouldn't do sober. But much more importantly, I think my behavior did not reflect active consent, trashed my roommate's boundaries, and was generally creepy—all characteristics of sexual assaulters.

I am biologically female, and if the situation were reversed, I would commit a huge double standard because I would back any woman who did not feel safe continuing to live with a dude who did what I did. I feel like I should be held accountable and move out immediately, though my housemate has told me he doesn't feel threatened and that I should stay.

Help. I feel like a total piece of shit for having done this and can't stop wondering...

Am I A Sexual Predator?

Calm the fuck down—and no more women's studies classes for you, okay? I think you've had quite enough, and I'm cutting you off.

Look, AIASP, you didn't assault anyone, you're not a predator, you shouldn't have to move out. You made a drunken, ill-advised-in-retrospect pass at a roommate. If that makes someone a "sexual predator," AIASP, then we'd better build walls around our better universities and start calling 'em all penitentiaries.

As for that double standard: In light of your recent experience—you made a drunken pass at someone who wasn't interested in you—you might want to revisit the assumptions you've made about men who make passes, drunken and otherwise, at women who aren't interested in them. Making a pass is not grounds for eviction or conviction. It's how a person makes a pass (did you pounce or did you ask?) and how a person reacts if the pass is rebuffed (did you graciously take no for an answer or were you a complete asshole about it?) that matters.

Of course, men's passes at women—roommates and otherwise—exist in a context of male sexual violence. So it's understandable that a woman might feel uncomfortable living with a dude who did what you did. But if the dude wasn't a creep about it and graciously took no for an answer (if the answer was no), perhaps he should be judged as an individual and not as someone who bears responsibility for the collective crimes committed by members of his sex throughout history.

And even if you were an asshole about that no, AIASP, that still wouldn't make you a sexual predator. You're only a sexual predator—or guilty of sexual assault—if you refuse to take no for an answer and force yourself on someone. (Or if you go after someone who is incapable of granting consent.) You didn't force yourself on anyone. All you're guilty of, AIASP, is asking someone whom you wanted to fuck if he wanted to fuck you. It's a legit question, and no one gets fucked without asking it.

And that simple question doesn't magically become sexual assault or harassment when the answer is no.


My mistress wants to deny me the pleasure of regular food. We want to create a "slop" that I can eat four to five times daily that is highly nutritious but as bland-tasting as possible. Any ideas? Can you consult a nutritionist?

Seeking Slave Food

Are there any vegan restaurants in your area?


I'm a single male in my mid-30s who over the years developed an incapacitating fetish. I can only get fully aroused when smelling the odor of maple syrup. When I was younger, it was not a problem getting aroused without it, but as I got older, I inhaled the scent while pleasuring myself, and now I can't perform without it. I have tried to wean myself to no avail.

What should I do, short of taking all my dates to the house of pancakes and "accidentally" spilling syrup on them? I don't think it would be fair to require such a thing from anyone and would not expect it to be tolerated in a long-term relationship. Any advice?

Odor Regretfully Generates A Sexual Malady

Look, ORGASM, the human brain is an inscrutable bag of slop, and you aren't the only person out there whose brain saddled him with a seemingly random sexual fetish. But you shouldn't view your fetish—assuming you're not making this up—as "incapacitating." You could be into things that were much worse and/or more complicated and/or literally impossible to realize. Nor should you blame yourself for your growing reliance on your kink. As we age (men particularly), we tend to lean more on those things—fantasies, fetishes, scenarios—that help us get there and get off.

Stop viewing your fetish as some sort of freakish ailment that disqualifies you from love and affection, ORGASM, and start viewing it for what it is: an endearing quirk and not too much to ask from a long-term partner. People in love and people in long-term relationships—two distinct groups with some significant overlap—like to say things like "I would walk through fire for him" or "I would take a bullet for her." Well, all you're asking is for a tiny bit of maple syrup dabbed behind the ears before sex. It's not fire, it's not a bullet, and it's not too much to ask.


I am a heterosexual guy, married. My wife and I have lately been getting really interested in watching porn videos on my iPhone. I'm having a problem, however, finding sites with fresh, free stuff that will actually play streaming on the iPhone. Do you, the tech-savvy at-risk youth, or any of your readers have any site recommendations? The more the merrier!

Sent From The Savage Love App For iPhone

I was under the impression—heard it from Steve Jobs himself—that the iPhone was designed to protect our wives from porn. And while I'm always coming to the defense of porn, I'm not a big consumer myself. (I only use my iPhone to make calls and play cribbage.) So I'm not aware of any iPhone-friendly straight-porn sites, SFTSLAFI. Readers? Any tips?

And speaking of porn: Sometimes it's not enough to come to the defense of porn. Sometimes you have to sit down and make some porn yourself. And sometimes your homemade porn can win you large cash prizes. Info and details at www.humpseattle.com.


Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.

mail@savagelove.net

 

Comments (220) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Three words: Maple-scented-candles!!
Posted by Caralain on September 7, 2010 at 7:18 PM · Report this
2
As long as you're ok with potential lactation, ORGASM, fenugreek seeds are known to make people smell bizarrely of maple syrup......
Posted by lurkin' on September 7, 2010 at 7:24 PM · Report this
3
Being vegan myself, I'm going to ignore Dan's comment, but suggest a juicer. Smoothies, too, are awesome. Eat solid meals when the mistress isn't around, though. Eating vegan meals wouldn't hurt either.
Posted by jay_kateel on September 7, 2010 at 7:28 PM · Report this
inotnrml 4
why not just drizzle a little over her the lick it off and inhale her and the syrups and her aroma all mixed into one happy new fetish
good sex is usually hot and sticky
Posted by inotnrml on September 7, 2010 at 7:35 PM · Report this
5
Oh, ORGASAM, I hope you don't ever lose your sense of smell! Please don't smoke or snort anything up there or you'll be up shit creek when you get older. Pray to god you don't ever get radiation treatment or chemo, and be wary with some other medical treatments as well.

Other than that, I'd say that sweet food + sex barely registers as kinky any more and I doubt many new partners would bat an eye at it -- it's on par with using a silk blindfold. After a few times, they'll notice a pattern and you can 'fess up and make light of it. Just make sure if you sleep with women that you don't ever let any syrup get inside her pussy (she'll get an infection) and you're golden.
Posted by Mel on September 7, 2010 at 7:39 PM · Report this
6
Hey, ORGASM, have you tried to pick up chicks who work in maple syrup factories? You just need to move to Quebec or wherever. Or make up more interesting fetishes.
Posted by FeralTurnip on September 7, 2010 at 7:48 PM · Report this
7
If your partner isn't cool with it and you can't make a mess, just dab a bit under your nose (like over your lips). You'll smell it the whole time and your partner will barely notice it. Plus there's no sticky mess to clean up later.
Posted by Iconostential on September 7, 2010 at 7:54 PM · Report this
8
Dan, you're getting pretty lazy in your dotage.
Posted by Approaching 40 in LA on September 7, 2010 at 7:57 PM · Report this
9
For SSF:
Please see the recipe for the Special Management Diet Prison Loaf at http://www.npr.org/programs/wesat/featur…

For Dan:
Please see the prize-winning vegan cupcakes at http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/06…
Posted by paranoid on September 7, 2010 at 7:59 PM · Report this
10
Vegan reader saaaad...

:'(

Beans, rice, and some sort of baby formula cooked into gruel would probably work.

And I eat quite well, thank you very much.

:p
Posted by Herbivore on September 7, 2010 at 8:00 PM · Report this
11
Pretty sure Seeking Slave Food is looking for Nutraloaf: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutraloaf
Posted by RJH on September 7, 2010 at 8:00 PM · Report this
Posted by kescobo http://scienceblogs.com/webeasties on September 7, 2010 at 8:00 PM · Report this
13
@1, maple syrup scented candles were exactly what I was thinking. Here's a particularly good one:
http://www.crossroadscandles.com/product…
After all, burning candles doesn't exactly count as a kink; it might even score him some romance points early on in the relationship, and then he can add more explanation as they get more comfortable with each other.
Posted by Fangdoc on September 7, 2010 at 8:16 PM · Report this
14
Wow, I normally don't take offense at throwaway comments you make, Dan, but sheesh. Vegan eating isn't bland and isn't tasteless. Vegetables, when cooked properly (and when gotten *FRESH* from a GARDEN!!!), are absolutely delicious. There are plenty of foods that taste fine without meat or dairy (in fact, taste better for it). In fact, I've found I taste more subtleties in food since I've stopped eating meat. My mom's been cooking vegan meals for nearly 15 meals, and they are restaurant quality and better. It's this kind of throwaway comment that makes defending my lifestyle choice (vegetarian, technically, but still) so difficult. Since people assume that one can't eat good non-meat food, I have to be doing it for some activist reason, and I'm NOT and can't even ARGUE the position since it's just taste preference.
Posted by Theta Sigma on September 7, 2010 at 8:34 PM · Report this
15
Just get her some Maple Syrup perfume:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/54515336/map…
Posted by io on September 7, 2010 at 8:49 PM · Report this
16
I am also angry that Dan Savage should dare direct a joke in my direction. I don't want to be angry, it's just obligatory these days, isn't it? If you don't get angry when someone makes a joke about your sex/sexual preference/colour/dietary preferance then you're not a *real* man/furry/Asian/fruitarian. And I assure you I am real. I have a reflection in the mirror. Therefore I am angry. Bad Dan.
Posted by Phil H on September 7, 2010 at 9:07 PM · Report this
17
Dan -

I'm a long time reader (over 10 years!) and I usually think that your advice is spot-on. However, the vegan comment was uncalled for. While I agree that vegetarian restaurants used to produce nothing short of flavorless gruel (some 20 odd years ago), vegan food has made huge strides since then. I dare you to take your husband out for a nice meal at Millennium next time you're in San Francisco :)



Posted by veganlola on September 7, 2010 at 9:24 PM · Report this
18
Just fill up an emptied bottle of poppers with maple syrup and huff at it!
Posted by Maple Syrup Poppers on September 7, 2010 at 9:33 PM · Report this
JulietEcho 19
Mix something up using Ensure or a similar drink. All the nutrients you need in a chalky, slightly-sickening liquid. Mix with whatever as needed if you want to make it grosser, but it's a perfect base.
Posted by JulietEcho on September 7, 2010 at 9:43 PM · Report this
20
Isn't there a factory in Northern NJ somewhere that puts out a maple syrup smell from time-to-time? You could move there and just wait for the smell to happen.

See: http://gothamist.com/2009/02/05/maple_sy…
Posted by andymell on September 7, 2010 at 9:44 PM · Report this
21
Tofu for SSF
Posted by tofu-yum on September 7, 2010 at 9:46 PM · Report this
fannerz 22
Brazzers works fine on my iPhone
Posted by fannerz on September 7, 2010 at 10:07 PM · Report this
Neptune 23
I have to agree with the readers suggesting scented candles and meal-replacement drinks to those respective letters. I'm actually a bit surprised Dan didn't think of either of those things.

For the slop letter, I think the food replacement category is a great place to start. In addition to the Ensure and baby formula suggestions, stuff like Slim Fast and Boost would probably also work, provided it tastes as awful to you as it does to me. Maybe you could get creative and mash up some gross-tasting protein bars into it. If you're making it in a blender, you could even grind in vitamin pills as needed, add some of those flavorless fruit/vegetable supplement pills, and you'd be good to go. I'm starting to imagine that white mash from The Matrix that supposedly contains "everything the body needs."

If all that stuff is too expensive, an alternative would be to google "superfoods" and get creative with your combinations. Because while most superfoods are pretty good independently, they sound mostly disgusting if imagined mashed together:
http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/super…
http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/10-every…
Posted by Neptune on September 7, 2010 at 10:13 PM · Report this
24
Primate chow! Think outside the human box.....

AM
Posted by research girl on September 7, 2010 at 10:27 PM · Report this
Sirius Black 25
Dan's advice to AIASP was absolutely spot on and had me yelling "that's right! that's right!" at my iBook. Except that it was sad to see the myth of domestic violence as a predominantly male crime. It isn't.
Posted by Sirius Black on September 7, 2010 at 10:46 PM · Report this
26
@25 except for the fact that it is
Posted by olechka on September 7, 2010 at 11:02 PM · Report this
27
predominantly, anyway
Posted by olechka on September 7, 2010 at 11:02 PM · Report this
28
You know, Dan, vegans have nearly as poor a sense of humor as fat people and angry polys, right? And I'm saying this as a lifelong vegetarian, too, so it's not like I'm a PETA-bashing, flesh burning, blood dripping carnivore either.
Posted by I Registered This Account By Accident on September 7, 2010 at 11:19 PM · Report this
29
ORGASM needs to look into cooking his lady friends some dishes with the herb/spice fenugreek, which will make them smell overpoweringly like maple syrup for days after consumption.
Posted by snowy on September 7, 2010 at 11:41 PM · Report this
30
For a flavorless mush that is also highly nutritious, I would suggest a gruel made from a complete grain such as quinoa. Just cook the living hell out of it till its nothing but a mush. You could use rice to the same effect, which is actually a dish called congee...But quinoa would have more nutritional value. Meal replacement shakes actually have flavors, which it seems you are to be denied as a slave, so they might only be used occaisionally in your case (as a means of reward perhaps)...
Posted by rastabilly on September 7, 2010 at 11:50 PM · Report this
31
Purveyors of fine pornography often transcode their videos to mpeg4 even if they don't have a mobile interface. Kink, explicite-art, ishotmyself, beautiful agony, Abby winters, and even you porn are all viewable on the iPhone.
Posted by Crazyivan on September 8, 2010 at 12:01 AM · Report this
32
Exactly, pitchfork wielding mob!

Dan, often times the vegan or vegetarian dishes are as good or better than any other offering.
Posted by Admittedly, I usually have them add bacon. on September 8, 2010 at 2:46 AM · Report this
33
oh stfu you silly vegans. I am vegan too and that line made me guffaw. way to perpetuate the stereotype of over-earnestness. grow up already.
Posted by schnogg on September 8, 2010 at 2:53 AM · Report this
34
Dear self-hating vegans:

Other vegans' opinions aren't your responsibility.

Thanks,

starfireming
Posted by starfireming on September 8, 2010 at 4:22 AM · Report this
35
You can buy maple syrup scented fragrance/perfume oils as well. You could try wearing one yourself, ORGASM, or scent your pillows with one.
Posted by Jackfish on September 8, 2010 at 4:46 AM · Report this
36
Jesus Christ, would you whiney vegans just shut the fuck up and take a joke already?

Plus, vegan food would make a good slave slop because meat goes rancid too quickly.
Posted by smitty on September 8, 2010 at 4:53 AM · Report this
37
Dan, deeply shocked by your comments to AIASP. Is it not accepted now that the only way to approach the slightest possibility of sexual contact is to get medical & psychometric tests done on both parties, prepare legally binding consent forms in triplicate & get them signed, and arrange for a panel of 3 independent witnesses who ensure that consent continues during the act? Shame on you.

To AIASP, grow up a bit and learn; it's his choice if he wants to speak out against your disgraceful harrassment. In case you missed out on your women's studies, according to Robin Morgan, rape exists anytime intercourse takes place when it has not been initiated by the womon out of her own genuine affection and desire.

Personally, I think your thoughts around whether you should move out are associated with wanting to stop the toe-curling squirming, so this is just self-justification with nominally noble and PC rationalisation.

To ORGASM, I wonder if you want more choices, whether you could associate other smells/triggers. The way you could work this is to practice adding other stuff (e.g. vanilla) to the regular syrup smell. Then reduce the syrup till you've got a brand new - and possibly easier to arrange - trigger.
Posted by dameedna on September 8, 2010 at 5:01 AM · Report this
38
Veganism should be classified as an eating disorder alongside anorexia. And vegans should be classified as bible-thumpers without the book or the sense of humor.

Humans need animal proteins to stay healthy. Being a strict vegan means either being constantly ill or constantly taking dietary supplements. I've seen this in far too many people.
Posted by Tucatz on September 8, 2010 at 5:50 AM · Report this
39
Not too surprisingly, protein shows up in things besides meat. Peanut butter, chickpeas, soymilk, whole wheat bread, lentils, soy milk, nuts, etc.

Meat just happens to be more convenient for most because it requires less preparation if you are into traditional meal.

That aside, it was a joke people, lighten up for chrissakes.
Posted by recapitulator on September 8, 2010 at 6:18 AM · Report this
40
Yeah Dan! The difference is the context of living in a world of male sexual violence where women are more at risk of being the target than men are!! I can't believe her women's studies classes didn't cover that! C'mon everyone, this was a stellar response, forget about the vegan thing, its not like he didn't know exactly what kind of reaction it was going to provoke.
Posted by layladylay on September 8, 2010 at 6:21 AM · Report this
41
Vegan answer FTW. Totally unsurprising that it pissed some off, the lack of nutrients to the brain damages the sense of humor (kidding! Don't stab me with celery!!!).

SFTSLAFI I don't kow the iPhone but I know the iPod Touch. If you can freely upload music to your iPhone I'm guessing you can probably freely upload videos, in the proper format.

So here's what you do. You download porn onto your computer. You then slog (ejem) through a tutorial on how to convert the video. There are various pages out there that can explain the proper video formats and there is free video conversion software. Here are a few quick links:
http://www.ilounge.com/index.php/article…
http://www.lifespy.com/2007/windows-tip-…

I hope you have a decent computer, because video conversion is a bit of a pain that tends to monopolize resources. When I was more into it I used to leave it going at night. Good luck!
Posted by Lynx on September 8, 2010 at 6:29 AM · Report this
42

Vegans deserve to be ridiculed, this from a land scaper with a green house! I've often wondered if vegans taste good, and that's not an oral sex reference. My wife was a vegetarian when we met and the first thing I asked her about it was you're not one of those vegan people are you? She wasn't and I tolerated vegetarian meals she was sweet enough to feed me. I wouldn't want to live w/o enslaving holstein's and guernsey's and enjoying cheese! Hare Krishnas even eat cheese and other milk products too.
Posted by scorpio of Id. on September 8, 2010 at 6:40 AM · Report this
43
Hilarious - the vegan high dudgeon is even better than the original joke. Great advice to AIASP.

On a completely different note: I'm curious how many other posters have ever had success with reversing a trend of increasingly bad sexual chemistry with a partner? I'm engaged to someone and while it's never been great, there was a bit of a spark at the beginning - enough to persuade me that we just needed to get to know each other's bodies better. Instead, it's gotten progressively worse and feels "tone deaf". Yes, before you ask: I have tried to communicate about it, subtly at first and finally, much more directly.

I'm about ready to break things off based on this alone - and truly, the rest seems pretty darn good. I have been in an LTR with bad sex before, and it didn't get better. I feel like you've either got it or you don't. I'm a considerate partner, and really try to get her off, but I am losing my own arousal and not getting off.
Posted by knkycva on September 8, 2010 at 6:42 AM · Report this
44
I`ve been a Vagan for 20 years now and found Dan`s comment absolutely hilarius......
Posted by bradley on September 8, 2010 at 6:43 AM · Report this
45
1) Answer to the first question was amazing! Excellent insight.

2) The vegan comment sucked. Vegan food is more inventive/innovative by far, by necessity, and improving daily. BTW, I am a vegan, middle-aged, with a much better body than most teenagers or 20-girls -- without trying.

3) Interesting and funny that the vegan comment should stir up so much. But it's the 1st time I'm commenting.
Posted by Ashifa on September 8, 2010 at 6:58 AM · Report this
46
ORGASM might want to investigate some of the more nichey ladies' fragrances out there. Annick Goutal's Sables has a very strong maple syrup note, which comes from the use of the immortelle flower. (It's not to everybody's taste, but it sure as hell smells like maple syrup.) You can search for other fragrances with that note in the database at www.basenotes.com. With a bit of luck, you might be able to satisfy your maple syrup craving *and* make yourself look thoughtful with a nice gift of perfume.
Posted by LizU http://www.gastronomydomine.com on September 8, 2010 at 7:22 AM · Report this
echizen_kurage 47
Forget about debating the merits of vegan cuisine; let's debate the merits of slavery as a relationship model. I mean, I enjoy being tied up, pissed on, and flogged as much as the next kinkster, but when someone blithely declares that their mistress has decided to switch them over to a diet of slave gruel . . . well, that raises a bit of a red flag for me.
Posted by echizen_kurage on September 8, 2010 at 7:25 AM · Report this
48
@45: "BTW, I am a vegan, middle-aged, with a much better body than most teenagers or 20-girls -- without trying."

I think if you need to overhaul/manage your dietary habits in order to be in shape (as you're implying), that counts as "trying." Also, I'm sick of women equating "nice body" with "healthiness." You can be as thin as a stick and be incredibly out of shape (as my mom still is and I once was ... now I'm fat as well as out of shape).

SSF: Congee? I love congee, but it can made terribly bland if need be.

Posted by Gloria on September 8, 2010 at 7:30 AM · Report this
49
crying vegans = black kettles ?
Posted by eat my meat - you carnifellatrices on September 8, 2010 at 7:42 AM · Report this
50
Most boring colum ever - and I'm with #33. Way to own that stereotype, vegans. And I love vegan food.
Posted by Jenn on September 8, 2010 at 8:15 AM · Report this
51
dear maple syrup lover, taking the herbal supplement fenugreek makes one smell like maple syrup. the odor is excreted in sweat and urine and taking the supplement, or someone else taking it, might provide an aroma that helps stimulate arrousal. or, you could date the local IHOP staff!
Posted by dogloverportlandmaine on September 8, 2010 at 8:16 AM · Report this
52
maple syrup lover- taking the herb fenugreek makes one smell like maple syrup. Alternately, try dating the local IHOP staff!
Posted by dogloverportlandmaine on September 8, 2010 at 8:23 AM · Report this
53
I'm still dying to get the rest of AIASP's story!Did the "I can't sleep in my own room" ploy work? Did he let you share his bed? What all did you do that was 'throwing yourself' at him?

You sound like you feel guilty, but have not given us the (juicy) details of your guilt!

Ok, so I'm just pruriently curious...

and it sounds like your roomie is an adult who is capable of saying 'no' if he wants to... so... did he?

what happened?!?
Posted by shelldavis4 on September 8, 2010 at 8:26 AM · Report this
54
Vegans like myself need to understand that meat eaters don`t find the idea of veganism the least bit appealing. It would be like trying to convince me to try being gay.No thanx
Posted by bradley on September 8, 2010 at 8:35 AM · Report this
Ratatoskr 55
Okay I'm a veg and I thought Dan's comment was hilarious. Lighten up people, and accept that some vegan food tastes seriously awful.

Also, because many vegans are very health-conscious vegan food does tend to be highly nutritious, just as our Slave asked for.
Posted by Ratatoskr on September 8, 2010 at 8:50 AM · Report this
56
Spirulina, it's eatable algae and it's claimed to be really good for you. I know of hardcore backpackers who eat it nearly exclusive on long trips because they can carry so much of it. It also tastes like what it is, dried out pond scum. It's also a filler in fish food. If that isn't slave food I don't know what is.
Posted by technomancer on September 8, 2010 at 9:00 AM · Report this
57
YouPorn is a good streaming site that I know is at least iPad friendly for playing in the browser. One would assume since it's the same platform that it would play on the iPhone as well.

Also, it has something for everyone.
Posted by moriarty70 on September 8, 2010 at 9:01 AM · Report this
Kevin_BGFH 58
I thought the vagn comment was hilarious. I honestly laughed out loud. Dan could just as easily written "Are there any McDonald's in your area." It was an appropriately snarky response to a rather lame letter -- the original writer could have easily found the answer with about 10 minutes with Google.
Posted by Kevin_BGFH http://biggayfrathouse.typepad.com/blog/ on September 8, 2010 at 9:08 AM · Report this
59
@16 Check ! Have you really taken a close look at the 'reflection' in the mirror ? Are you certain that it is the original 'You' and not an alien construct ? Just because you still have sex does not mean that 'They' have not got to you. :)
Posted by kindad on September 8, 2010 at 9:16 AM · Report this
60
I'm exclusively a veggie eater and I thought Dan's comment was really funny. If you (or I, in this case) are going to do something as silly as refusing to eat animal products, we should expect people to make fun and have a sense of humour about it.
Posted by Benthebunny on September 8, 2010 at 9:17 AM · Report this
mixy 61
ORGASM should check out Aveda's line of jewelry that allows you to soak a little sponge that goes inside a bauble on a necklace, or earrings. Great scented gift for the sig other, or himself! Or there are those snifter rings with a place inside to store fragrance (some maple sugar, maybe?)
Posted by mixy on September 8, 2010 at 9:48 AM · Report this
62
The mistress should serve him Nutraloaf. It's what prisons serve inmates to punish them - barely nutritious, totally unpalatable. Recipes abound.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutraloaf

http://www.npr.org/programs/wesat/featur…
Posted by wetdog2 on September 8, 2010 at 10:04 AM · Report this
63
All this sturm und drang over the vegan comment is really cracking me up. Way to fit neatly into your stereotype, vegans. I would never force-feed you meat, just as (I hope) you would never try to impose your dietary restrictions on me. And as you can call me a patriarchal power-structure-perpetuating carnivore who enslaves our animal brothers for his sick desires, I can call your food tasteless slop. Because words are wind.
Posted by proud carnivore on September 8, 2010 at 10:07 AM · Report this
64
Yay, iPhone cribbage!!
Posted by madame_dakar on September 8, 2010 at 10:07 AM · Report this
long-time reader 65
"vegan restaurants"! That was fucking hilarious.

To ORGASM-- A saucier of maple syrup on a hot plate in the bedroom should raise no objections.

I mean, it's not like you're using an offensive smell such as vomit, feces, or Jovan.
Posted by long-time reader on September 8, 2010 at 10:15 AM · Report this
66
Two things:

1) a lot of Vegan/vegetarian food does taste awful. Seriously. Have you ever been to the Naam in Vancouver, BC? Possibly one of the worst dining experiences I've ever had. (three words: chocolate robitussin cake).

2) Vegans probably wouldn't be upset if they weren't made the butt of every fucking lazy writer's dietary joke regimen.

In short: yes, vegans need to lighten up a bit. Alternatively, writers need to come up with something more clever than "hur hur, it's funny cuz dey don't eat meatz!"
Posted by j.lee on September 8, 2010 at 10:20 AM · Report this
67
I miss my vegan roommate :( He made the best food. I'm a boring omnivore.
Posted by kersy on September 8, 2010 at 10:23 AM · Report this
68
@26: Sexual violence is a predominantly male crime. Domestic violence is not. It's probably true that there are more women who get the shit beaten out of them by men than vice versa, i.e. that men are likely to do more extensive physical damage. But there's pretty ample evidence that when it comes to initiating domestic violence, it's close to 50/50. And that doesn't even touch the realm of non-physical abuse, in which women are more than competitive.
Posted by dulce et decorum est on September 8, 2010 at 10:24 AM · Report this
69
cvilletop @43: when sex has been really good, and then it gets into a rut, you can get the sex back to really good again. But if the connection was never really there ("never been great"), there's nothing to work with. What you thought was a spark was the new relationship energy, but the sexual chemistry sounds like it was missing from the beginning.

That said, I'm not sure what "really try to get her off" means. Is she having an orgasm? Do you know? Does she know how to orgasm? Sounds like neither of you is coming, which is for sure a major sign of something wrong. If you've tried communicating explicitly about this, and that didn't help, then yeah, end this relationship so you can both go find someone you click with, in bed as well as out.
Posted by EricaP on September 8, 2010 at 10:25 AM · Report this
70
The guy tells a reader to eat vegan, and this pisses off the vegans? Really?
Posted by MaxiMe on September 8, 2010 at 10:44 AM · Report this
71
"But much more importantly, I think my behavior did not reflect active consent"

Going to repeat myself here (but hey the letter is a repeat SLLOTD, so one repeat deserves another)...

So, your behavior did not reflect "active consent," eh? In other words, you didn't "consent" to your own actions? Is it dawning on you yet how batshit crazy that sounds?

I hope your Womyns' Studies teacher makes you do a remedial essay to sort out your concepts.

What you did is, you got drunk enough to do something that you regret the following morning. You don't get to wriggle out of responsibility for your own actions by claiming to be too drunk to consent to your own stupid ideas. Of course you consented -- you initiated, and you followed through.

Unless someone has implanted a chip in your spinal column and is running you by remote control, you actively consented to whatever happened that night by actively pursuing it. You're the one who approached the roommate in the first place, you are the one who used a bogus excuse to get into his bed. You were sober enough to figure out that scheme and run it past the roommate. You are 100 percent as responsible as the drunk who "consents" to get behind the wheel and run his car into a building.

The person about whom "active consent" is a legitimate concern is the one on the receiving end of your actions. You should not be questioning whether your own behavior reflected active consent on your part with respect to your own actions; you should be worrying about whether HIS behavior reflected active consent to what you proposed.

Now, having said all that, Dan is right about the big picture. Relax, already. Your roommate is a big boy, and he can take care of himself. From his perspective, all you did was ask to fuck him. He's probably more disappointed that you decided to freak out over it and disavow everything the following morning.

As far as daydreaming about it, but never daring to try that while sober goes: why not? What exactly is so bad about roommates with benefits?
More...
Posted by avast2006 on September 8, 2010 at 10:56 AM · Report this
72
Re - Vegan comment: It's a one-liner, people. It was intended to be funny, if evil -- not accurate. Get over it.

Similar example:
Why do they call it "PMS?" Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Posted by avast2006 on September 8, 2010 at 11:09 AM · Report this
73
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/show…

theres a condition where your sweat smells like maple syrup... just sayin...
Posted by dann77 on September 8, 2010 at 11:25 AM · Report this
74
Maple syrup urine disease FTW!
Posted by bloop bloop! on September 8, 2010 at 11:28 AM · Report this
75
Dan, you need to come to my house for dinner sometime. I make a MEAN "chicken fried fake" (with bocca burgers..otherwise, just like my Texas Granny taught me, vegan cream gravy, mashed 'taters and all. The meat is really the least vital component...secret's in the batter and preparation). Yes, I thought the joke was hilarious, and I've had my share of nasty, bland vegan (and non-vegan) food. Not at MY house, though. I've fed many a non-veg seconds and thirds (some who didn't even notice they were eating vegan). Just saying. No inherent reason for vegan food to be bad. :)
Posted by raven333 on September 8, 2010 at 11:32 AM · Report this
76
Has anyone mentioned spankwire.com yet?
Posted by AnonymousToday on September 8, 2010 at 11:37 AM · Report this
Griffin 77
ORGASM, you should get a scented candle, but you could also get a candy flavoring extract like LorAnn which would be strong and sugar-free.
Posted by Griffin on September 8, 2010 at 11:41 AM · Report this
78
When I first began dating my wife 17 years ago, she was in high school and working at the local Tim Hortons. I'd pick her up at the end of her shift and she would literally smell like a donut. It was great. She left Tim Hortons when she was done high school, and while I miss that smell about her, I'm still capable of performing just fine for the last 16 years. How long was this guy masturbating to Mrs. Butterworth? I would tend to blame this guy's death grip on his penis while masturbating than Aunt Jemima.
Posted by Dal Tiger on September 8, 2010 at 11:47 AM · Report this
gttim 79
@7 FTW! A little dab of maple syrup on your upper lip or right inside your nostril and you will be good to go.
Posted by gttim on September 8, 2010 at 11:53 AM · Report this
80
And here I was expecting the womens studies comment to get all the rage...
Posted by Drosophila on September 8, 2010 at 11:58 AM · Report this
81
FOR 'SENT FROM THE SAVAGE LOVE IPHONE APP'. GO ONTO YOUR SAFARI APP, OR YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE PRIVATE BROWSING SAFARI IF YOU LIKE, AND TYPE IN KEEZ, OR KEEZMOVIES.COM INTO THE GOOGLE BAR. THE FIRST SITE THAT COMES UP HAS PLENTY OF MOVIES (WITH PLENTY OF DIFFERENT CATEGORIES)THAT PLAY ON QUICKTIME AND WILL WORK ON YOUR IPHONE. ENJOY!
Posted by IPHONE PERV on September 8, 2010 at 12:06 PM · Report this
82
SSF,

Try the Army's MRE (Meal, Ready to Eat). Chock full of calories, bland as sand, and they come with a moist towelette to clean up any messes.
Posted by M2006 on September 8, 2010 at 12:07 PM · Report this
83
I hope that SSF's Mistress has him on a strict, fitness trainer approved, exercise program...to make him a lean, mean, sex-slave machine. With that in mind, how about this recipe:

For 1 serving

Cook 1 3-4 oz boneless skinless chicken breast in a covered saucepan with a little water. A pressure cooker would be even better, follow the directions that come with the cooker. Do not use salt or any other seasonings. Note that many chicken breasts could be cooked at once ahead of time, refrigerated, and used as needed.

Chop the cooked breast into smallish pieces and put into a blender pitcher. Add about 12-20 oz unflavored soy milk, you can adjust the amount of liquid for the proper slop consistency. Some water could also be added later if it is too thick. Add 2 teaspoons of good quality liquid fish oil, (not the capsules). Add a couple scoops of unflavored, unsweetened, good quality whey powder, read the label for the serving size. Then add a handful of random raw veggies, (carrots, broccoli, sprouts, etc.). Finally, add a portion of Life Extension Mix Powder, read the label for the correct amount. A couple of servings of a fiber supplement 2x a day would not be a bad idea.

Blend until smooth. Serve in a trough or feed-bag.
Posted by chef slopslave on September 8, 2010 at 12:26 PM · Report this
84
iphone porn site:

ifap.to

(yep, that's a url)
Posted by joshjosh on September 8, 2010 at 1:06 PM · Report this
85
EricaP @69 - Thanks - this is what I'm thinking too: that the initial spark was just new relationship. I've actually suggested that in our conversations.

I'm not positive she's having an orgasm every time she seems to be - I really wondered (at the beginning) if the miraculous and rare simultaneous orgasm was for real. I opted for not over-analyzing. I feel like the chemistry may have been off from the get-go and our method of BC (condoms) combined with her preferred 'motion' (lots of grinding, very little in-and-out) is killing me. Let's not even talk about my frustrations with explaining how HJs and BJs could be improved (ooh, yes, more like that). I have tried repeatedly trying to get feedback on my own technique, without success, but I'm not sure I'm really doing it for her either.

I think I needed someone to tell me what I already know: this is not going anywhere. I've been trying to light a fire for a year, time to get some fresh kindling.
Posted by knkycva on September 8, 2010 at 1:27 PM · Report this
86
The vegan comment was funny.

As an omnivore who loves food but eats very little meat, I'd just like to point out that yes, vegan food can be bad. And so can poorly cooked food that includes meat. And if you're ever in Edinburgh, I highly recommend this place: http://www.davidbann.com/. I had a fantastic meal there, and it just happened to be vegan.
Posted by Kristen on September 8, 2010 at 1:30 PM · Report this
87 Comment Pulled (Duplicate) Comment Policy
88
The herbal supplement Fenugreek is used by women to increase their breastmilk supply when breastfeeding. You know you're taking enough when your B.O. smells like maple syrup.

I suggest that ORGASM hit the health food store and stock up on Fenugreek. If he takes it himself, he can have his fetish close at hand (or close at armpit!) at all times. If he gets into a relationship, maybe he can get his partner to take it.

And if someone also has a lactation fetish, so much the better.
Posted by amy413 on September 8, 2010 at 1:34 PM · Report this
89
I think Dan was saying to go to a Vegan restraunt to get ideas for food options
Posted by lys on September 8, 2010 at 1:45 PM · Report this
Sketch 90
@1 Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. It'll come across as romantic and thoughtful, even. Way to turn a hang-up into a plus!

(Though I agree with Dan. I don't see why it's a problem, and I'm not sure I believe the guy.)
Posted by Sketch on September 8, 2010 at 1:59 PM · Report this
91
Yeah, I second YouPorn for iPhone-friendly porn sites. Some of the videos are flash and won't work, but I was happily surprised to find the site worked when I first got my iPod Touch.
Posted by iPod Touch Myself on September 8, 2010 at 2:05 PM · Report this
92
There are quite a few Mobile Porn sites that are available, some are good and some aren't.
AS it's where i work i lean towards iPinkvisual(dot)com and our related sites, but Kink(dot)com has a very nice one and so do some others.
A while back I sorted quite a few for Seego(dot)com which is a free directory we put up for mobile sites a while back.
Neil

Posted by Neilk on September 8, 2010 at 2:07 PM · Report this
93
Of all the jokes that Dan makes in his columns, I find it a bit silly that the vegan comment has generated such response.
Anyone who is offended by that comment shouldn't be reading this column.
Posted by cosmosfactory on September 8, 2010 at 2:19 PM · Report this
94
Grr argh obligatory vegan rage! Way to make us look bad, crazies. Yes, vegan food is delicious, we'll outlive all the meat eaters, we'll all be superhot at 60 without trying - we know the truth, so shut your traps.

Seriously though, Slave should eat some lovely plain uncooked tofu. High protein, delightfully gelatinous and bland - it's a form of sadism all its own.
Posted by MsLeading http://followmsleading.blogspot.com on September 8, 2010 at 2:21 PM · Report this
puppydogtails 95
Why do vegans care so much about what other people think? If it's the best way to eat, then you live to be 100 and we rot in our tallow-drenched carcasses.

Of course, the truth is, it's a cult. To be a vegan and eat the shit they eat, you have to have lost your mind at some point.

And yes, I do have sausages as my thumbnail, for totally unconnected reasons. LOL
Posted by puppydogtails on September 8, 2010 at 2:35 PM · Report this
echizen_kurage 96
@85:

If your relationship is as unfulfilling outside the bedroom as it is inside the bedroom, then yeah, I agree that it's time to hang up and try again. But if there's something there worth salvaging, then the specific problems you described seem like they might be surmountable. Perhaps you could try switching to another form of birth control? (If hormonal birth control isn't an option, there are always diaphragms and IUDs). And I could be wrong, but I'd guess that your girlfriend prefers grinding because it stimulates her clit. She might be more enthusiastic about in-and-out pumping if she were being stimulated manually at the same time, or if she were wearing one of those little hands-free vibrators designed for use during intercourse. (A vibrator could also help make sure that she's getting off every time.)

Granted, it sounds like you're suffering from a general lack of chemistry and failure of communication, so the situation might be beyond repair. But hey, random sex advice is always good, y/y?
Posted by echizen_kurage on September 8, 2010 at 2:39 PM · Report this
97
Cribbage!?! Really cribbage, I love cribbage! I love Dan more all the time.
Posted by 15, 2, 4, 6 double run of 3 for 14! on September 8, 2010 at 2:53 PM · Report this
98
@85, @96: Women who need a lot of "grinding" to get off are the equivalent of men who need a deathgrip on their cocks in order to come. Some people think that it stems from masturbation habits that lead to desensitization; other people think lack of sensitivity leads to those habits in the first place. It's hard to identify cause vs. effect.

My experience is that women who fit this pattern frequently have low orgasmic intensity and below-average sexual desire. My own hunch is that this is because they're reaching orgasm through tension rather than relaxation, and there's a pretty sizeable body of work suggesting that muscular tension inhibits sexual pleasure. Certainly, the most orgasmic women I've known don't tense up, clench their teeth, etc. You literally feel less when your muscles are tense: think of how we respond to feeling cold, or pain, or stress.

Being a good lay isn't just about technique or being GGG; it's also about being able to reach orgasm relatively easily and with a variety of positions/methods, so that your partner is gratified by your pleasure (and vice versa). If you can't do that, and everything has to be "just so" or it falls apart, sex starts to feel like work for the other person. Our culture doesn't really have a way of talking about that, because we view sex as a male performance in which the woman's ecstasy is the barometer of the man's success. But it takes two to tango.
Posted by speaking from experience on September 8, 2010 at 3:59 PM · Report this
99
@26: Some research (particularly studies that look at clinical cases or gain participant samples from women's shelters) states that intimate parter violence is committed by male partners against female partners.

Community-based samples indicate that in heterosexual relationships, females commit violence at a slightly higher rate than males. In these samples, partners are often both committing violence and having violence committed against them. As well, female partners have reported that, when being the first person to aggress, it was overwhelmingly for reasons unrelated to fear of imminent attack by the male partner and often because they knew the male partner would NOT hit back.

Stating that intimate partner violence is predominately committed by males also ignores the fact that this violence occurs in female same-sex relationships. Though I haven't looked at this specific research in a couple of years, studies that I read that examined both female and male same-sex relationships indicated that females reported more violence (physical, emotional, and sexual) in their relationships than did the males.

In short? Males may be the ones WITH dicks in relationships, but aren't the only ones that act like dicks.
Posted by DispelMyth on September 8, 2010 at 4:03 PM · Report this
100
@98, well, for those of us who are GGG and like sex but have always had trouble coming without lots of clit stimulation (mostly, by Hitachi vibrator), and would like to come more readily... Do you have experience with teaching women like us to relax into our orgasms, or literature that has been effective? I can relax, or I can come, but I don't see how to relax and come. Constructive advice appreciated.
Posted by EricaP on September 8, 2010 at 4:31 PM · Report this
101
Screw you Dan. I'm done reading you and your paper, and this is after 15 years of reading your column and The Stranger - before you were editor, before you were famous, when you were only "Hey Faggot". Being an asshole might be a good attribute for an advice columnist, but it does not make you a good person. For someone upset about not having the same rights as everyone else, you are certainly more than happy to ridicule anyone who doesn't agree with you or your lifestyle. So, have fun insulting vegans, poor people, smokers, the overweight... and anyone else that might not fit into your superficial framework. Maybe you need to spend some time in someone else's shoes before you continue to pass judgment on everyone else.
Posted by So Long, Asshole on September 8, 2010 at 4:35 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 102
@ SSF

If your mistress wants your food to taste bland, then have her preach to you constantly about how good it is for you, the planet, blah blah blah. Works like a charm.

(And thanks Dan, for the one-liner. I nearly spit out my coffee.)
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on September 8, 2010 at 4:45 PM · Report this
Milbury 103
@26

#99 said it before I did. And as a person who's friends (well, acquainted) with a lot of cops, I can tell you from experience that their antipathy towards dealing with domestic violence cases has less to do with the myth of the "super-abusive male" and far more to do with the "She hit him first, but he hits harder, so who's wrong?" quandary. And for every stereotypical wife beater-wearing wife beater, there's a guy walking the streets who mystifies his friends with his ability to put up with his harridan of a wife. The only difference between the two is the fact that the second example eventually tries to defend himself or "snaps", the first example doesn't allow the pressure to build to the level of snapping and lets it go at once.
Posted by Milbury http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rLkEsoO6t0 on September 8, 2010 at 5:20 PM · Report this
amelie 104
#98
Some women just have a harder time achieving orgasm. If grinding works, what's the big deal? I don't think it's akin to the death grip for males--when women masturbate, it's unlikely that they're simulating this motion.
You make it sound like this is the fault of the woman that needs a little something extra to get to the finish line. Seems to me like a guy who is GGG wouldn't have a problem with this.
I like a little grinding now and then (and listen to Dan's recent podcast on the subject) and I find my sex drive to be high and my orgasms intense.
As previously stated, it's harder to get there for some of us and what we need is a partner who is ready and willing to participate and not judge along the way. Who ever said being GGG means achieving orgasm easily?
Posted by amelie on September 8, 2010 at 5:32 PM · Report this
105
Yes, I agree with all the easygoing vegans. Jokes at our expense are a shout-out. I just love to see the word 'vegan' in print. And I make great food (though never with boca burgers or any of that 'fake meat' stuff which I find slightly less disgusting than processed meat).
Posted by Tramu on September 8, 2010 at 5:49 PM · Report this
106
@104 -- who _doesn't_ like a little grinding now and then? Well said.
Posted by EricaP on September 8, 2010 at 6:11 PM · Report this
107
@100: I'm not sure what's come out recently but back in the day, Alan & Donna Brauer's book "Extended Sexual Orgasm" helped a lot of people improve the quality and duration of their orgasms. Books about sacred sexuality, tantra, and similar topics also explore these themes. Of course the granddaddy of them all is Wilhelm Reich, who's written extensively about this stuff; some of the jargon is hard to swallow, but his best work is extremely insightful.
Posted by speaking from experience on September 8, 2010 at 6:41 PM · Report this
108
@104: I'm not talking about "a little grinding now and then", but NEEDING intense friction in order to get off. And actually, a lot of women learn to masturbate in childhood by sitting astride stuffed animals, pillows, etc. and there seems to be some correlation between doing that and, in adulthood, only being able to get off with intense pelvic grinding while on top.

Of course most women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm but that's not what #85 described: "her preferred 'motion' (lots of grinding, very little in-and-out) is killing me." Presumably if a couple well-placed fingers could do the trick, they'd be doing that.

BTW, I didn't say that the ability to get off easily was part of being GGG; in fact I made a point to make a distinction between the two. Having said that, I'll admit I find that people who can get off relatively easily are often a lot of fun in bed because it invites variety, whereas people who need everything to be "just right" to reach orgasm are often less fun. YMMV.

As for the question of "fault" or "blame", that's not really the issue. Is it a guy's "fault" if he can only get off by pounding his girlfriend like a jackhammer? No, but it doesn't make him a particularly appealing lover vs. someone who's more versatile. It might be hard for him to hear that, but the truth is often difficult. I know that a lot of women struggle with their sexuality and with reaching orgasm, but it's possible to be supportive of that struggle while also acknowledging that, for their partners, it can be a frustrating and distancing experience.
Posted by speaking from experience on September 8, 2010 at 6:47 PM · Report this
109
Of all the things I've read in Dan's column over the years, none has offended or alarmed me as deeply as the writer with a maple syrup fetish. Dan really missed the boat on this one. The LW should get professional help immediately. I'm not joking or exaggerating. My first husband was into maple syrup. and like many wives, I thought it was a harmless fetish. Then one night, I heard a crashing sound in the kitchen, and ran in to find him humping a bottle of Aunt Jemima's. I was humiliated, and filed for divorce immediately. He got stuck in the bottle, and never did get it off.
Posted by SarahMorrow on September 8, 2010 at 6:49 PM · Report this
a.james 110
@95, what's so scary about vegetables and fruits? Oh, I'm sure you meant those nasty grains...wheat, corn, rice..guh! Or beans? Who the hell eats beans?
If your plate isn't meat with a side of meat covered with cheese, you're probably a terrorist.

Vegans only get pissy because we know a "vegans! Amirite?" line follows with "MEAT! I love being callous!" and "They eat weird shit!" when 1) We eat what should be making up at least 85% of your diet anyway, maybe without the extra fats no one needs, 2) Whether you or I really care about the awnimulz, it's just poor taste to say you /like/ mistreatment and wasteful killing.

Now eat your fucking veggies >:U

-SUPER UPSET VEGAN IS CRYING ABOUT PITBULLZ.
Posted by a.james on September 8, 2010 at 7:59 PM · Report this
111
bland food that satisfies nutritional needs while denying any sensory pleasure? Nutraloaf. Used in prisons as punishment for poor behavior.
http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazi…
Posted by phaedran on September 8, 2010 at 8:09 PM · Report this
112
As if the International House of Pancakes actually has ever served real maple syrup and not that horrible "maple-flavored" crud that is sold in the grocery store as Log Cabin, Mrs. Butterworth, Aunt Jemima, etc.
Posted by Whiteboyfunfark on September 8, 2010 at 8:43 PM · Report this
113
Once I was house sitting for a friend and I offered another house guest some weed. Turned out he wasn't a regular smoker and he propositioned me immediately, in the boldest possible language. Despite my fondness for talking about how sex positive I am, when faced with the situation I was momentarily flummoxed. Then I remembered Miss Manners and thanked him very politely and told him I wasn't quite up to it. He apologized profusely while I measured the size of his bicep and decided I could take him if I had to. Things went on like normal. Right before bedtime, though, I did tell him, in a friendly sort of way, that if he snuck into my room in the middle of the night I would hit him.

STill ya have to cut folks a little slack if they're drunk or high, at least the first time. Especially if your history with them is otherwise good - for roommates, that would include being tactful & considerate, and paying rent on the dot.

I don't know how nutritious it is, but oatmeal without salt is pretty bland.
Posted by hazmat on September 8, 2010 at 9:04 PM · Report this
114
I find that adding a bit of cheese or butter to a vegan meal can make all the difference.
Posted by Ivan on September 8, 2010 at 10:17 PM · Report this
Irena 115
@66: are you crazy? The Naam is great! My meat-loving friends go there and recommended it. Awesome breakfast.

It's vegetarian with vegan options, btw. And very popular.
Posted by Irena on September 8, 2010 at 10:20 PM · Report this
116
you want to know why vegans react? because their dietary choice is based on ethics and often spirituality. Rarely on health when it comes right down to it, rarely on taste either. You can argue the health benefits of any diet - and you can make fabulous or crappy tasting food on any diet. So of course some vegans are going to be sad to see yet another lame jab made at them; it's not a cult, it's not a fad, it's a choice based on deep emotion. How else could they possibly give up parmesan cheese? So back off; when Dan jabs at lesbians and they shout back people don't get nearly so mean.
and one more thing; the comment makes me think that Dan hasn't eaten at a real vegan establishment since the eighties when it was true, the food sucked.
Posted by friendlytoanimals on September 8, 2010 at 10:38 PM · Report this
117
@114 Butter and cheese are not vegan.
Posted by Lemons on September 8, 2010 at 10:54 PM · Report this
118
What gives food flavor? What makes it taste good? Meat tastes good, cheese tastes good. Vegan food doesn't have that. What else gives food flavor? Oil, salt, pepper, sugar, garlic, vinegar, oregano, hot sauce, cumin, a million herbs and spices, and guess what? They're all vegan. Nearly everything that makes our food taste good is from plant sources. So why does vegan food taste bad?

In my experience, when vegan food tastes bad, it's because non-vegans make it, and don't plan to eat it themselves (because it's vegan), so they don't really care. When vegans make it for themselves, it tastes good. (Go figure.) Somehow when non-vegan people are making vegan food (including restaurant chefs), they know they have to leave out the cheese or whatever, and they think they have to leave out the other flavor too.

For example, say I (vegan) go to your house for dinner and you make two dishes of green beans - one for me and one for everybody else. First: I really appreciate the effort! Honestly, I didn't even expect that, and it's nice! But the thing is, the "everybody else" dish has not only bacon bits but slivered almonds and sugar and spices and everything nices - and mine is just plain, steamed beans, with nothing else in it -- and then everybody makes fun of how the vegan version tastes bad! Why, when leaving out the bacon, was it necessary to leave out everything else too?
Posted by s214 on September 9, 2010 at 1:01 AM · Report this
119
vegan for 15 years.
i have eaten tasty, and not so tasty.

bland menu ideas:

1. plain flavour VEGA brand meal replacement powder mixed with just water. not bad in a blender with ice. (and a banana) for extra bad taste, use luke warm tap water and stir with a spoon

2. a vegetable juice of carrot, celery and maybe ginger. blended with hemp protein.

3. a spoonful of flax oil. udo's oil is a good one. keep it cold in the fridge it will go bad.

4. some sort of green super food. E3 live is very nutritious, but i've grown to like the taste. they ship anywhere and the company is great.

5. plain quinoa. make it like rice, in a rice cooker without salt or oil.

6. plain beans. from a can, and warm, rinse well or else you'll get the farts. unless that's what you want. for good beans: buy bulk, rinse, soak, boil, drain and rinse. they're cheap but more labour than opening a can.
Posted by vegansaladparty on September 9, 2010 at 1:13 AM · Report this
120
42 already said EXACTLY what I was going to say: [Touchy] vegans deserve to be ridiculed. Anyone, vegan or not, with enough self-importance to be offended by this type of joke is a sanctimounious douchebag who deserves all the ridicule the world can muster.
Posted by Amanda on September 9, 2010 at 3:11 AM · Report this
121
@117 - The butter and cheese suggestion was a joke that flew right over your head: by adding non-vegan things to vegan meals, you could make vegan meals tastier, but then they would cease to be vegan. The point of the joke, which you missed, was that vegan food isn't all that tasty unless you add something non-vegan. Vegan people are clearly missing a protein or two that helps them to understand jokes.
Posted by Ivan on September 9, 2010 at 3:59 AM · Report this
122
It takes 2500 gallons of water to produce one pound of ground beef. As the world continues to run out of fresh water leads one to logically believe that we will all be forced to be Vegan. That is the day that the voluntary Vegans will have the last laugh.
Posted by bradley on September 9, 2010 at 4:53 AM · Report this
123
Vegan food: Fine. Vegan restaurants: Not so sure.

Nothing wrong with the pure flavors of vegetables. And the Asian combination of soy sauce, ginger, chili and garlic has whet peoples' appetites for centuries.

But vegan food pretending to be non-vegan (with concoctions like fake meat and faux cheese) seems dishonest, and is no selling point for veganism. I think it's the source of most of the negativity towards vegan restaurants and vegans in general. (That, and the fact that they're so easily offended.)

To put it in Savage Love terms: Vegans eating faux-animal-food is like a closet case asking his girlfriend to dress up like a (male) lumberjack.
Posted by GasparFagel on September 9, 2010 at 5:38 AM · Report this
nocutename 124
I had no idea so many vegans were reading Savage Love.
But many of them seem to be suffering from an irony deficiency.
Nothing a good steak couldn't cure . . .
Posted by nocutename on September 9, 2010 at 8:17 AM · Report this
matthiasr 125
SSF should have a look into medical supplies. The stuff they feed you via a stomach tube is designed to sustain one indefinitely, but has no taste at all (why should it, if used properly it doesn't even get near any taste buds).
Posted by matthiasr on September 9, 2010 at 8:19 AM · Report this
126
I eat vegan dishes on a regular basis. A few of them actually taste ok. (A few).
Posted by worldcitizen on September 9, 2010 at 8:55 AM · Report this
127
Just as I always suspected, self-righteous vegans really don't have sense of humor! good god! dan i love you!!!
Posted by eatin_meat on September 9, 2010 at 9:01 AM · Report this
128
#44- "I`ve been a Vagan for 20 years now and found Dan`s comment absolutely hilarius"

Vagan! I guess that's what straight guys and lesbians are: vag only, please!
Posted by NCMom on September 9, 2010 at 9:54 AM · Report this
129
You could definitely make a good slop with pudding and Vega powder. But ease yourself into the Vega if you're not accustomed to a high-fibre diet as it's very high in fibre (along with being high in everything else; it's an excellent product). It's not exactly bland, but without fruit or other flavours added it kinda just tastes like muddy green tea.
Posted by ignatz ratzkywatzky on September 9, 2010 at 10:11 AM · Report this
Flying Mermaid 130
Another tip for ORGASM:

I know damn well you know damn well there ain't nuthin wrong with slurping your own juices, and that the only reason we're not licking ourselves is that we can't reach. (Oh, okay, we're a bit lazy, too -- there would be something rather yoga-esque about that, wouldn't there?)

The main ingredient in curry is fenugreek, an herb that smells like MAPLE SYRUP and is the basis of imitation maple flavor. But here's the clincher. Fenugreek not only has curative properties, but goes through your system and blows out a yummy storm. Once, as a kid, I noticed my armpits smelled deliciously of maple and I got my nose stuck in them awhile. Eventually I put it together that I'd eaten curry that day and this was the aftermath. I pinpointed fenugreek as the culprit, and began to buy the seeds and boil up a brew (which is better when mixed with its relative, fennel seed, as a sweetener).

The more I drank, the more yummy I stank, so it became the obvious drink of choice before any date at which I might get lucky. And then there's the work-out -- sweating just makes you smell better. It wasn't long before I discovered it was a pussy maple-izer as well. If, like me, you haven't gotten lucky in forever and may never again, it's still a fine thing to bring on camping trips, or other occasions when bathing may be difficult.

So, I'm thinking you feed some fenugreek to your partners, or even just have some yourself -- either way, the delicious smell should reach your nose, and therefore contribute to your ORGASM.
Posted by Flying Mermaid http://myspace.com/flyingmermaid on September 9, 2010 at 10:37 AM · Report this
131
Vegans, vegans, vegans... Ah, to be so self righteous about anything is a waste of your typing fingers. Let it go. Dan's comment is hilarious! If you are inclined to be offended, substitute "meatloaf", or some other horrifying meat based product that can be found in restaurants...
Posted by coyote69 on September 9, 2010 at 11:20 AM · Report this
Afreet 132
Hang on a sec....cribbage? Really?
Posted by Afreet on September 9, 2010 at 12:07 PM · Report this
133
I can't believe anyone familiar w/Dan would find his vegan comment "out of line" or "uncalled for" - he's so opinionated he makes Ann Coulter look like muddafuggin Switzerland.

Also, he's back to being cranky & impatient, but then he only uses iPhone for (shudder) cribbage! That explains at least a few things.
Posted by wayne on September 9, 2010 at 12:44 PM · Report this
134
That's why poor Linda McCartney wound up getting cancer (and I love the McCartneys). But here it is: Linda was a vegan cook/author for almost thirty years until her horribly-tragic death to breast cancer... If people can't handle the grief that their lifestyle choices can bring about, even in jest through to downright mean ignorance, then -as everyone's been saying- *lighten up*~! I love irking the self-important types too. Fuck 'em. They get in the way of my constructive good time ;-) ...............
Posted by Beautiful True Love Voodoo Chemical & Electrical on September 9, 2010 at 1:10 PM · Report this
135
Sorry. What I meant to say is that *worrying: excessive, obsessive, insane worrying* is going to contribute to not only various forms of cancer, but ridicule as well. Take some of that cinnamon bark and apply to yourselves for some skin, thou so much better than us vegans. Eat a roast beef sandwich and an ice cream shake, heavy on the natural cream...
Posted by Beautiful Voodoo, Inc. on September 9, 2010 at 1:12 PM · Report this
136
@134/135 I'm sorry...did you really just correlate Linda McCartney's cancer with her vegan diet?

Incidentally, in the past 15 years I've only worn titanium watches. I also keep my hair short and don't have any tattoos. I don't like seafood (particularly fish) and never touch the stuff.

I've never gotten brain cancer.

coincidence??
Posted by j.lee on September 9, 2010 at 2:11 PM · Report this
137
For Seeking Slave Food...

There is a ghastly product fed to some prisioners in the United States as punishment called Nutriloaf. This blog has a recipe. http://www.avclub.com/articles/taste-tes…
Posted by kbl on September 9, 2010 at 2:38 PM · Report this
ADoodle 138
The reason it wasn't funny was because Seattle has so many tasty veg restaurants (Carmelita, Sutra, Cafe Flora, Wayward, etc). Have you never been to one, Dan?

But if you want bland meat: boiled chicken. Otherwise, blend together some rice, salt-free beans, and tofu, with no flavorings. Maybe add some kale for extra punishment and a multivitamin.
Posted by ADoodle on September 9, 2010 at 2:50 PM · Report this
139
Oh for the love of fuck, commenters like ADoodle, it was just an off-the-cuff joke! It had fuck all to do with Seattle's restaurant scene! I would imagine that Dan Savage has indeed sampled tasty veggie fare. Sweet Zombie Jesus, you people need to get a fucking sense of humor.
Posted by THIS is what we're fighting about??? on September 9, 2010 at 3:12 PM · Report this
140
@108,
I wish it was as simple as being accustomed to intense friction, but female body is weird... it has everything to do with hormones, today you will get off in two minutes while barely touching your clit and in a week it will take long and dedicated intense clitoral stimulation and you can still count yourself lucky *if* you come. Who knows why our bodies work that way?

Also, vegans, yes Dan was perpetuating an offensive (?) stereotype. Which may or may not have a grain of truth in it, but still a stereotype. That's Dan's shtick, just ask bisexuals and pit bull owners. It was a JOKE, and for what it's worth he actually praised some vegan place for its yummy food on his blog.

But really, reconsider how it is offensive. Even if a meat eater did find vegan food bland tasting, we all have our personal likes and dislikes, what's your problem with it? If he thought vegan food was the best thing since hot water, he would be a vegan, right?
Posted by tiare on September 9, 2010 at 4:51 PM · Report this
141
The trouble with Vegan is there's no hope for a piece of meat.
Posted by Hunter78 on September 9, 2010 at 5:23 PM · Report this
142
Poster number 1 had it correct - Scented candles. Go to your local candle shop or yankee candle store on line during the winter and stock up on the sweet maple smelling candles that make me and many on the planet gag. I keep one in my office that is sickeningly sweet but that's because I work with a bunch of Chinese guys who fart all day long and the smell of the sweet candle is a price I'm willing to pay to not have to inhale their stench. Where there is a will, there's a way!
Posted by Rockin' HR Chick on September 9, 2010 at 5:29 PM · Report this
143
Sticky, gooey chocolate maple bars!!!!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on September 9, 2010 at 5:39 PM · Report this
144
Lighten up you humorless vegans. Dan is gay for chrissake! You think he can't and doesn’t laugh at gay jokes? It's no wonder most people can't tolerate y'all. And if you're a gay, humorless vegan well then I just don't know what to say.
Posted by denverguy on September 9, 2010 at 6:33 PM · Report this
145
@138 - the reason it wasn't funny is because you don't have a sense of humor. Really. You don't. It was funny. Clever even.
Posted by denverguy on September 9, 2010 at 6:35 PM · Report this
146
Hey Vegans, Lighten up.
Posted by olyboy on September 9, 2010 at 7:32 PM · Report this
147
Oh,for god's sake. If you aren't a vegan, then vegan food is disgusting. Especially if, like me, you find most beans abhorrent. The idea of being vegan or having my child decide to be vegan makes me gag. I'm no ignorant hater, either. Just accept the fact that your food is not liked by everyone. Do Mexican's get upset if I dont' like beans? No. It's not a personal attack.
Posted by Fan of Fresh Air on September 9, 2010 at 8:02 PM · Report this
148
I used to think all vegan food was disgusting until I visited the Chicago Diner in Boys Town (near Wrigleyville). All vegetarian, and all good.

Still think vegans are annoying.
Posted by presently out on September 9, 2010 at 10:24 PM · Report this
149
Viv Thomas has a new iPhone website for their porn. And they are the ones that finally got my wife to really enjoy porn... High quality, hot, low on the cussing or derogatory labels and the women tend to come first, guys last, so there is a timing goal to work for!
Posted by Wifelikesthepornnow on September 10, 2010 at 12:00 AM · Report this
150
I'm an omnivore, but I eat perfectly tasty vegan food all the time. It's called fresh fruit.

I'll agree, however, that most pseudomeat is an abomination against nature. But imitation anything tends to be iffy at best, most foods are better if you let them have their own flavor rather than try to mold them into being something else.
Posted by Melissa Trible on September 10, 2010 at 12:24 AM · Report this
151
@ssf : traditional gruel is mashed hempseeds and water. probably very high on the blandness:nutrition ratio.
Posted by 81729301 on September 10, 2010 at 1:43 AM · Report this
152
ORGASM needs to find a partner who has maple syrup urine disease!

Vegans are hilarious. Loved the pun, #124.
Posted by MSmore on September 10, 2010 at 6:10 AM · Report this
153
@many (96, 98, 104, 108)

Yes, I am GGG and I'm all down for us doing all kinds of things that make us all feel good...and bringing enthusiasm to it. That is: I don't get much out of grinding, and what little I get is deadened by condoms, but I'll make that a very significant part of each and every session since I'm GGG and that's what gets her off.

My issue is this: she doesn't seem, despite some very direct directives, to grok what gets me off.

We have tried a diaphram and jelly - and that really helps (though there are issues with proper insertion - that thing feels very very weird when I bump into it). I think we need to revert to that more, it's just not nearly as convenient as a condom. But, this is my gripe: I don't send her off to "wash up" before going down on her, though Gynol-II is worse than Vegan food. She, on the other hand, won't return the favor if I 'taste like a condom'.

I'm not altogether sure she's really GGG - despite verbal protestations to the contrary. I like a little butt play, but she's refused to even touch my perineum, never mind going anywhere near her butt.

The disappointing part is that I do think the rest of the relationship is great. :-/

Thanks for the thoughts folks.
Posted by knkycva on September 10, 2010 at 6:54 AM · Report this
154
It may be funny to make fun of vegans, but if you think it's all about meat substitutes and beans you're doing it wrong. Do remember that plenty of Indian and Oriental food is vegan and there's lots of opportunity for eating food around the world.

I've not been to a bad vegan restaurant yet (although individual dishes may vary, same as any restaurant). A vegetarian and vegan restaurant is already a niche market, so if they're no good they're not going to last long.

No, I'm not vegan myself and have no intention of being, but I do cook a fair bit of tasty vegan food and cakes.
Posted by UKGuy on September 10, 2010 at 7:19 AM · Report this
155
Hey,
I really love this column but I resent the way Dan approached sexual assault. The girl pushed herself on her roommate and placed him in a situation where it was difficult for him to say no. Whether or not he gave consent doesn't matter very much because he might have been saying "okay" for a range of reasons. Male survivors of sexual assault by women often admit to feeling pressured to give their consent because of societal expectations that they should always want sex from women. Dan's response negated the possibility that he was sexually assaulted, or even worse, placed blame on the survivor if he was sexually assaulted. Disappointing.
Also, Dan seems to be writing off good sexual assault education by dismissing it as something meant for academic feminist classes. NO. I think sexual assault education is something we could all seek out and obtain so sexual assault doesn't remain a huge f**king problem in society?
Posted by That WAS Sexual Assault, Dan on September 10, 2010 at 7:27 AM · Report this
156
cvilletop @153: your fiancee's unwillingness to touch your perineum, her objection to the taste of condoms, her disinterest in what gets you off... she's not GGG. You two are engaged. She thinks you're going to go ahead with the marriage anyway. I think you should show her (by postponing the wedding/breaking off the engagement) that her attitude needs to change.

Then give her a few months to see if she can step up her game and to see if she agrees that the sex is better that way. If she can't, or if you suspect that she's doesn't like it better and is only doing this to please you until the wedding, then you walk away.
Posted by EricaP on September 10, 2010 at 9:12 AM · Report this
157
I can't help but notice that the vegan rage displayed in these comments is entirely in the heads of the people criticizing it. Comments from actual vegan:

"Vegan reader saaaad... :'("

"I am also angry that Dan Savage should dare direct a joke in my direction. I don't want to be angry, it's just obligatory these days, isn't it? If you don't get angry when someone makes a joke about your sex/sexual preference/colour/dietary preferance then you're not a *real* man/furry/Asian/fruitarian. And I assure you I am real. I have a reflection in the mirror. Therefore I am angry. Bad Dan."

Comments in response:

"Jesus Christ, would you whiney vegans just shut the fuck up and take a joke already?"

Really? Before you get angry at someone else for not being able to take a joke, think for a moment about whether they are perfectly able to take a joke and are making a joke in response. Before you jump on sanctimonious vegans it would be worth noticing that for every actual sanctimonious vegan there are a hundred meat eaters who become just as sanctimonious as soon as anyone uses the word "vegan" in any context.
Posted by l337n00b on September 10, 2010 at 9:34 AM · Report this
158
The maple syrup-loving guy could also get some maple scented fragrance oil and put it in a diffuser in his bedroom, which would delay (or eliminate) having to disclose it to potential partners. Check this out: http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/Maryscent…
Posted by tdc on September 10, 2010 at 9:37 AM · Report this
159
I feel like BPAL has to have a maple syrup scent SOMEWHERE on their site. Why not find that and give it as a gift to potential sexy ladyfriends?
Posted by perfumegirl on September 10, 2010 at 10:04 AM · Report this
160
@155

HA! If I counted myself as a victim of sexual assault every time I had to spurn advances that made me uncomfortable, I'd have a loooootta charges to file. Pretty sure there are heaps of people in the same situation. Get the fuck over it, and please, don't lessen the severity of ACTUAL sexual assault by equating it with some drunk chick telling her roommate she'd like to fuck him. It's an insult to actual victims.
Posted by I call bullshit on September 10, 2010 at 10:54 AM · Report this
161
EricaP@156

If she can't, or if you suspect that she's doesn't like it better and is only doing this to please you until the wedding, then you walk away.

To be honest, in "verbalizing" this here, I've kind of forced myself to really think/see through this, and for me, I feel like it's not just "until the wedding" - it's "only doing this to please me". Just sad.
Posted by knkycva on September 10, 2010 at 11:57 AM · Report this
162
i once lived with a group of people, two of whom were young, male, strapping, vegans. they had absoulute hissy fits about our terminally ill housemate eating 'non-vegan' items (uh, hello, he was dying... and could barely keep anything down) and finally the sick person would no longer eat with us but ate in the barn, outside. I HATE VEGANS. if they want to eat that way they can do what they want just SHUT THE FUCK UP and go move to india if you cant handle it.
Posted by nfjuslaoiuuy on September 10, 2010 at 12:02 PM · Report this
163
I think the maple -syrup fetish letter is a piss-take ( an obvious fraud to see if you'll fall for it). I've heard of and imagined many a thing, but this--No Way.
Posted by wgm on September 10, 2010 at 1:07 PM · Report this
Red Shirt Dick Boy 164
Oh Dan... I have fantasies of getting strapped to a table, blindfolded and fed vegan food by you!
If I swallowed your cum would I still be vegan?
Jokes!
Jokes!

Except for the first sentence;->
Posted by Red Shirt Dick Boy on September 10, 2010 at 2:33 PM · Report this
165
Nutraloaf is supposed to be awful. It is fed to prisoners.

http://www.npr.org/programs/wesat/featur…
Posted by 1w3r54y on September 10, 2010 at 2:45 PM · Report this
166
Try M.F.K. Fisher's recipe for Sludge. Google it. It's pretty much what you're asking for and it's historical, to boot.

I don't make fun of vegans or care what they eat, but I know for sure they are doing permanent damage to their bodies. As for ruining the environment, monocrop agriculture (upon which the vast majority of vegans must rely to maintain an adequate caloric intake) is far more damaging to the environment and kills thousands of tiny creatures besides. Oh, but cows are more complex, right? Or something. Listen, cows have eyes on the sides of their heads because they are prey animals. Cows and their hooved kin know that they will be eaten by a predator. This is simple biology. Humans have eyes facing forward, stand upright and have stomachs which produce hydrochloric acid...which is used in digesting meat.

We evolved as a predatory primate species. We are, in fact, apex predators (at the tippy top of the food chain) along with lions and tigers and bears. Oh my!

So, if it makes you feel better to eat your beans and veggies and take your B-12 supps, go for it. But please, let's not pretend it's a natural diet.
Posted by evolve_or_die on September 10, 2010 at 3:31 PM · Report this
167
I have yet to see anyone mention M.F.K. Fisher's Sludge recipe, but it should fit the bill. I've Googled it, but can't find an exact recipe. However, it involves getting "cereal" (some type of grain), then cooking it--along with cheap, throwaway veggies and a few scraps of meat until it's a paste, then baking it. Sounds very similar to the aforementioned prison loaf.

As for veganism: humans evolved eating meat, pure and simple. The supposed benefits to the world by eating nothing but meat are offset by the facts of life, which include the following: 1) monocrop agriculture rapes the earth and kills thousands of animal lives per acre. It is also the basis for the vast majority of vegan diets. 2) Animal husbandry doesn't necessarily equate to factory farming which is--as vegans rightly point out--disgusting. In fact..animal husbandry, if done right, can actually benefit our environment. Look up Joel Palatin for a description of how this can be done. 3)Equating consuming animal products with any number of crimes--murder, rape, torture, etc--is a sign of unmitigated ignorance, folly, hubris, and species-est arrogance. We evolved as a species eating animal flesh. Period. We are apex predators: our eyes face forward, we stand upright, and we have speech...all of which help us hunt as social predatory primates must. Our stomachs produce hydrochloric acid, which breaks down meat (and is only found in the stomachs of carnivores and omnivores).

If you insist on being vegan, because it gives you some sort of spiritual sense of moral superiority or peace or just because you like it, great. But let's not pretend that veganism is either better for the environment or the ideal diet for humans.
Posted by evolve_or_die on September 10, 2010 at 3:50 PM · Report this
168
The only thing funnier than Dan's vegan crack is the volume of sad vegans condeming him for it. Who knew veganism had become the [humorless] alternative to feminism?

In case it matters to you, I am a former vegan, current woman.
Posted by Yum Yum on September 10, 2010 at 5:30 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 169
Hey ORGASM (x-posted from the SLLOtD link):

http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.a…

http://www.fragrantica.com/notes/Maple-3…

http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.a…

Bath & Body works makes "Sugared Maple" lotion, too. Picking someone up at some good pancake house on Sunday afternoon, maybe..?

This is NOT a big deal to ask someone to indulge you in. Truuust me. Some ppl have chests of toys, closets of wardrobes, to please themselves/their partners. A whiff of maple? Provided you're willing to break from it once in awhile, so it doesn't become too much, SO not a huge thing.
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on September 10, 2010 at 5:50 PM · Report this
170
He should just stash a bottle of maple syrup in his drawers/closet so his clothes start to smell like it. That way any girls will just think that's his natural smell, and he can also smell it no matter where he is or who he's hooking up with. The scent will be with him all the time.
Posted by nikita on September 10, 2010 at 6:13 PM · Report this
171
SFTSLAFI, check out www.ifeelmyself.com. Gorgeous, high-quality porn dedicated to the female orgasm (a lot of solo play, plus very hot REAL lesbian sex and some rare but good straight stuff)--and you can stream it all on your iPhone. It costs, but personally, I found it worth every penny.
Posted by mleba on September 10, 2010 at 7:14 PM · Report this
172
Anyone else noticed the theme that Dan makes fun of a group of people, and then that group gets offended? Its not exactly unique to vegans, guys.

It turns out that people don't like to be made fun of, go figure.
Posted by ohflattery on September 10, 2010 at 7:15 PM · Report this
173
How about:

pornhub.com
mobile.bangyoulater.com
youporn.com
and not really streaming vid on the iphone but worth a mention cause they're just so damn hot: suicidegirls.com/join/gallery

If you just google Mobile Porn you should get a lot more results.
Posted by iPhone Lovah on September 10, 2010 at 8:47 PM · Report this
174
Fenugreek tea really *will* make a person smell like maple. You can ask any mother who has drank it while nursing. It's a culinary herb, and a medicinal herb with a positive effect on cholesterol and serum glucose, but it's also a powerful galactagogue, meaning it increases milk supply in lactating women. Maple milk shake anyone?
Posted by Geek Porn Girl http://www.geekporngirl.com on September 10, 2010 at 10:02 PM · Report this
175
It's all very well the vegans saying that we'll all be vegan when the population gets too large to sustain carnivory, but by then the population will simply be too large and all the pandas will be dead.

We should start building the space ships now, or neuter the unworthy.
Posted by sleekweasel on September 11, 2010 at 12:19 AM · Report this
176
@ evolve or die,
I agree that we evolved to eat meat, but... could it be that it gave us benefits while we lived in nature, which outweighed the costs (like possibly dying before the age of forty, but who cared back then, you were not likely to live to your 50th birthday anyway). Yes we evolved to eat meat, but who knew that our lifestyles would turn into this? We spend most of our time sitting or sleeping, we can (and should) have more than one or two meals during the day so it's not essential to eat slowly digested protein that stays in your system for god knows how long, we are able to get quality nutrients from elsewhere, not like back then when people really had to rely on the animal to eat plants so that humans could get plant nutrients from the animal's meat. Actually, with most of the meat available today, it's better you don't rely on it for anything (how many people eat grass finished, organic meats?) So when our lifestyles undergo such a significant change, isn't it slightly dumb to insist that evolution stops here and we must eat like we used to when we lived totally different way?
Happy meat eater here btw, but I don't eat meat because I think it's good for me or because I feel compelled to eat it to honor my ancestors (denial is not just a river in Africa!), but because I like it. It tastes good.
Posted by tiare on September 11, 2010 at 12:50 AM · Report this
177
cvilletop: You could turn clean-up time into something fun. She is banishing you to the bathroom because you stink of condoms, which is not fun; and you are not sending her off to clean up despite the fact that she smells nasty too, which also is not fun. You could go have a little fun in the shower together, instead of sending one or the other into exile until you no longer smell, or putting up with the smell.

That, however, is only one of your problems. She sounds pretty damned persnickety. The pair of you need to figure out how to be happily innovative together, and a good deal of that falls in her court. If she can't manage to get up enough enthusiasm to actually come up with solutions that work for both of you -- not merely service you halfheartedly and with severe reservations -- this match will only get worse over time.
Posted by avast2006 on September 11, 2010 at 2:19 AM · Report this
178
ORGASM should contact Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab or a similar purveyor of custom perfume oils and have a personalized maple blend made for his partner. Oils are a sexy gift and they don't require someone to get all sticky every time they want to fuck.
Posted by lyn.s on September 11, 2010 at 7:44 AM · Report this
FindNewPassion 179
Is it realistic to make a promise “I will love you until death do us part”? Famous Russian writer Leo Tolstoy who is considered an expert in understanding human feelings and relationships between people in general and man and woman in specific, in his novella “The Kreutzer Sonata” said: “To say that you can love one person all your life is just like saying that one candle will continue burning as long as you live”.

Are you married, but not dead? Interested in discreet married dating? Welcome to FindNewPassion.com - premiere dating website for married and singles. Join free - thousands of members around the world are waiting for you.

http://www.FindNewPassion.com
Posted by FindNewPassion http://www.FindNewPassion.com on September 11, 2010 at 12:25 PM · Report this
180
@179

Tolstoy wrote that as his own marriage was breaking down, and it's a novella that argues for ABSTINENCE. Think we should apply that to all humanity, hmm?
Posted by yes, I know, bitchy on September 11, 2010 at 12:46 PM · Report this
181
Ha! Ha! Love it when the vegans get all agitated!
Posted by chaderik on September 11, 2010 at 2:49 PM · Report this
echizen_kurage 182
@179:

Fuck off, spammer, and take your affectations of literary sophistication with you. (Oh, and in case you were wondering? Your English sucks.)
Posted by echizen_kurage on September 11, 2010 at 4:02 PM · Report this
183
Cribbage is such a fun game!
Posted by MichelleZB on September 11, 2010 at 5:07 PM · Report this
184
xnxx.com works on my itouch, it's like a YouTube for porn, only thing is that some of the videos won't load. And all the kink.com site work too
Posted by Bblitzed on September 11, 2010 at 5:48 PM · Report this
185
Hey 100- loved your question about relaxing AND coming. A bit like learning to rub the stomach and pat the head at the same time. I learned to come with high intensity touch, breath holding and clenching. Unlearning the habits takes time. I have really enjoyed the book, Urban Tantra by Barbara Carellas. She's got some great breath and awareness exercises that help me drop out of my mind and into my body. When I am in my body and breathing into my pussy/perineum I find that I don't need so much stimulation. It also helps me get out of the fantasy loop and into my body. Somehow being more in my body helps me to connect more clearly with my partner without losing myself in their experience. I took the G-spot class at Babeland, even though I thought I knew about theG-spot. Squirting copiously these days. Very educational. Spend some time being with arousal without having to orgasm, just to see what your body likes. Experiment with positions, lubes, toys and partners and try to remember to breathe.
Posted by yonilady on September 11, 2010 at 7:49 PM · Report this
186
SFTSLAFI, xhamster.com might work. It works on my EVO and it uses the same video format as the iPhone. Also, get dwhelper for firefox on your home computer and Any Video Converter. Dwhelper will let you download streaming video, and AVC will convert the video into MP4 format. You can then put it on your iPhone
Posted by itry2getitall on September 11, 2010 at 11:33 PM · Report this
187
1. I'm vegan, and the Vegan Slave food comment made me snort organic soy milk all over the keyboard. Funniest thing I've read all day.

2. Now I know if I go back and read the comments about 10% of them will be from other amused vegans, with the remainder evenly divided between (a) vegans without a sense of humour - an all too common breed, I fear, and (b) jackasses who see the word "vegan" and are unable to restrain themselves from spewing out hate for anyone who lives even a little bit differently. (Probably why they read Savage Love, too.)
Posted by Naill on September 12, 2010 at 12:16 AM · Report this
188
Wow who knew vegans were so touchy!
It's a joke don't be so leotarded.
To maple syrup guy is it real maple syrup
or that fake aunt Jamima sh!t cus I love
real maple syrup. I drink it out of the bottle
and I love sucking on those hard maple syrup
candies. Let's hook up!
Posted by JAS on September 12, 2010 at 9:04 AM · Report this
189
@185 Thanks, yonilady! I'd heard mixed things about Urban Tantra... But I'll pick up a copy and take a look.
Posted by EricaP on September 12, 2010 at 12:02 PM · Report this
190
I am completely confused on who is the woman and who is the man in the "sexual predator" in the first query of this week's column. What the hell is "biologically female"? Can't we just continue using "woman" "man"?! The sexual predator was a woman who made a drunken pass at her male roommate or was it the other way around?! Jeez!
Posted by TooncesD on September 12, 2010 at 1:28 PM · Report this
191
I am completely confused on who is the woman and who is the man in the "sexual predator" in the first query of this week's column. What the hell is "biologically female"? Can't we just continue using "woman" "man"?! The sexual predator was a woman who made a drunken pass at her male roommate or was it the other way around?! Jeez!
Posted by TooncesD on September 12, 2010 at 1:29 PM · Report this
Lechugo 192
I'm not surprised by Dan's vegan joke. When i started this lifestyle years ago, my taste got improved with time. I can say now that when i was a meat eater i thought that food could be tasty only if it would be full of fat and salt. Now i enjoy tasty untasty food. Anyway's, as a perception issue, it is irrelevant. So you can be vegan and like "untasty" food or be a meat-eater and like fat and salt. Both ways eating is good xD
Posted by Lechugo on September 12, 2010 at 2:21 PM · Report this
193
Oh Jesus-Fuck.
A normal, sexually agressive woman turns up in this hetero wasteland and she's got more guilt than your average liberal arts professor doing a lecture on Vietnam.

You can rape me anytime, Sex Predator.
I'll even take you out for a steak afterward.
Posted by SleepingWithNannyState on September 12, 2010 at 2:43 PM · Report this
SchmuckyTheCat 194
@192, I started eating healthier but didn't stop eating meat and my taste buds improved too.

Wow, oversaturated taste buds have nothing to do with being vegan. Revelation.
Posted by SchmuckyTheCat on September 12, 2010 at 3:28 PM · Report this
stormagnet 195
Am I the only one who suspects ORGASM was trolling with an Old King Clancy reference? 'Cuz, as other commenters have duly noted, that is just not the stumper of a problem he makes it out to be.
Posted by stormagnet on September 12, 2010 at 11:37 PM · Report this
196
@176

Well, a lot of our dietary preferences are maladaptive to our current lifestyles, but that's neither here nor there.

My reason for responding is so I can vent what has become a recurring bugbear in my life. Bear in mind, please, that I don't intend to insult you or your sensibilities, and if I've misunderstood your points, please correct me.

Okay? Good. Organic farming is pants-on-head retarded. Let's start from the top.

We have no actual evidence that organic farming is better for us. Aside from the assumptions that artificial parts of food are inherently harmful, and things like preservatives and flavorings are carcinogenic (maybe), or otherwise really bad (not confirmed) leads us to a simple, but ultimately unfounded, assumption: natural is better.

Let's look at this logically. Would we say that it's better to take willow bark instead of Aspirin? Probably not, since the most "organic" form of it actually gives us ulcers. Would we say that it's better to go without glasses or contacts? Not I. We accept that technology and science make our lives both more manageable, and healthier. Hell, all of the vitamin supplements vegans take are products of modern technology (they're decidedly un-"organic"). And, not for nothing, but according to Norman Borlaugh (who won the Nobel Prize in 1979 and is credited with saving over one hundred million lives with the creation of dwarf wheat), we could support a human population of around four billion if we used organic farming techniques and every inch of arable land on the planet. That's about two billion fewer people than we have.

Is there any benefit to grass-fed cattle, or to any of the other organic farming techniques? From a subjective basis, sure. If it helps you sleep at night, thinking that the cow lived a better life, or if you think it tastes better. But, it doesn't change anything significant about the rest of the chemical equations.

Also, just to put what I hope is the final nail in the coffin, life expectancy rose steadily over the last seventy years, and one of the major contributors was the ability to eat things like meat and fruits and vegetables, largely due to the rise in pesticides and preservatives.

Better living through chemistry, baby.
More...
Posted by Seldon2639 on September 13, 2010 at 2:01 AM · Report this
197
@ 176,
My comment about meat included the organic label because I thought that there are no grass-finished non-organic meats on the market (maybe there are?). While some phenomena of commercial meat production are definitely a no-no (routine feeding of antibiotics? hello superbugs!), I think it's enough to be reasonable about it and not overdo it with chemicals and you'll be ok, no need to go overboard and not use any chemicals at all.

Now as for why grass-finished beef, it's because there are good things in grass. Excellent things even, and ingesting grass makes meat vastly more nutritious (and it tastes differently, in my opinion definitely better - meat from farm factories has no taste at all). Think about it, if you feed your animal corn and soy, that's what's going to be in its meat, nutrients from corn and soy. Thank you very much but I have enough of those in my diet already. In the words of Michael Pollan, you are what what you eat eats.
Posted by tiare on September 13, 2010 at 2:56 AM · Report this
198
Seldon @196,

You get 1000 bonus points for mentioning Norman Borlaug, who was quite possibly the beneficial person in history, yet most people don't know his name. He's actually credited with saving more than billion--jesus christ man, a billion--people from starving to death. And yet his methods have critics. There are some who whine that he uses fertilizers and pesticides (although a huge part of his work involved creating disease and pest-resistant strains of wheat) and that genetically breeding food is "bad." Well, I'm with you; let's USE science instead of protesting it and see if we can get the entirety of the world's population in a position to feed themselves. There are sustainable ways to do this, people just need to stop being insufferable hippies on the subject and actually work on them.
Posted by chicago girl on September 13, 2010 at 8:26 AM · Report this
199
My BF lovely maple syrup. I'm *so* gettingsome fengugreek :)
Posted by searching for fengugreek on September 13, 2010 at 11:15 AM · Report this
200
Regarding your response to AIASP - As a point of clarification - when you write: "...You’re only a sexual predator—or guilty of sexual assault—if ...you go after people who are incapable of granting consent..." Are you including those "below the legal age to consent"? or are you talking about "incapable" as in mentally, physically or otherwise handicapped? (or all of the above) I am curious because as you know, the legal age of consent varies from state-to-state and that could mean that one may be labeled a Predator [using your definition] for example in Oregon or California, but not Washington - its confusing.
Posted by RadC on September 13, 2010 at 3:06 PM · Report this
201
I strongly suspect that if AIASP is, in fact, as heavily into women's studies as everyone thinks she is, she wouldn't dream of suggesting that her actions could be compared to the actions of a man in the same kind of scenario. The overlying theme of virtually all women's studies classes is that because women are so disadvantaged that they can never be held to the same standards as men.

Yes, I know, that sounds like a wild caricature of liberals that could come from a right-wing website, but...when it comes to that particular fringe of the feminist movement, it's true.

Clearly the letter-writer knows quite a bit about "politically correct" language, and she probably considers herself an extremely left-wing (maybe even "radical" feminist.) But I'm not ready to call her out as someone who's taken way too many women's studies classes. The crux of the argument she used to criticize her actions was one that most women's studies professors would immediately, passionately reject.
Posted by Fidelio on September 13, 2010 at 5:17 PM · Report this
Styles Bitchley 202
Thanks Dan. Regardless of the tiresome pontificating by some commenters, both the women's studies and vegan food comments were fucking HI-LA-RI-OUS. The rest of the advice this week was spot-on too!
Posted by Styles Bitchley on September 14, 2010 at 1:41 AM · Report this
203
Dan, I suspect that a good many traditional Indians might be kinda upset at your vegan-food-is-bland comment.

Although I'm not entirely sure about the Buddhist or Hindu position on milk and eggs, I know for certain that they nearly universally agree that American culture is as bland and flat as you think Vegan food is.
Posted by gromm on September 14, 2010 at 4:18 AM · Report this
Bluejean Baby 204
@ #153 & 156 ...i totally agree with #156 that your fiancee should be told that things are not what you would wish for in the sexual realm if she is not meeting your GGG standards. That old saying that things do not get better, they get worse, after marriage, is TRUE. The other saying you should pay attention to is that words should match actions. Hers don't. You have taken the time to reach out for advice; ask yourself why. There is something wrong! Listen to your gut, man. If these things are irking you now, just wait till it's 5, 10, 15 yrs down the road. If she's not meeting your standards now, she will find lots of excuses & delve deeper into avoidance after marriage. Lay it on the line now, or you'll be sorry. I know, i've been there.
Posted by Bluejean Baby on September 14, 2010 at 7:42 AM · Report this
Styles Bitchley 205
@203... For vegetarianism, it depends on the school of Buddhism one belongs to - milk is not an issue. As for Hindus, milk and milk products are a staple. I think both would reject eggs if they considered themselves vegetarian.

I know you can have some pretty nice vegan meals, but it has to be done by someone who knows what they're doing. Most fare I've had is bland and unsatisfying.
Posted by Styles Bitchley on September 14, 2010 at 8:22 AM · Report this
206
I've been vegan for 12 years. One can only crack the same phony smile so many times at the same hackneyed joke. I try not to wear it (my diet) on my sleeve; yet people still feel the need to point it out with some dumb joke. It's like people can't help but be threatened by it.
Posted by Andrew_Oakland on September 14, 2010 at 10:37 AM · Report this
207
I'm actually really interested in becoming at least more vegetarian.. You just feel lighter and have more vitality.. Not all that digested flesh sitting in the bottom of your stomach not going anywhere like a sopping wet towel.. The first woman in the first piece shouldn't feel too bad. She knocked on the door, got laid and now she's all upset about it. Be more upset if it was a bad lay honey LOL.

;-D
Posted by Goldfish Egg B. Voodoo on September 14, 2010 at 1:43 PM · Report this
208
Enough with the namby pansy sensitive vegan comments! Jesus I want to slap you all with lady gaga's meat purse OK? get over it. Dan can say whatever he wants.
Posted by DisgruntledSeattlite on September 14, 2010 at 3:50 PM · Report this
jesgal 209
Dan, I enjoyed your vegan dig. As a loyal reader, please don't mention "vegan" anymore. Who would believe most of the comments aren't about SEX but a stupid diet?

P.S. I eat almost a vegan diet but I will cook steak for anyone. It's not a political agenda, but a personal choice.
Posted by jesgal on September 14, 2010 at 4:58 PM · Report this
210
Simple fix for ORGASM... grow a mustache and put a tiny dab of maple syrup on your 'stache under your nostrils. As a mustachioed gent myself, I can tell you that scents remain on the mustache for quite a long time, and only you will really smell it, so she doesn't even have to be aware of it. (In fact, I love the smell of my lover's pussy on my mustache, and her lovely scent lasts a full 24 hours, even when I try to wash it off!)
Posted by chris_pa on September 14, 2010 at 5:10 PM · Report this
211
@210 -- maple syrup is not the same as tuna fish, but I bet a steamed broccoli stash might hang around for a day at least. Just sayin in case some one gets hot and bothered with cute little broccoli heads.
Posted by jaansdornea on September 14, 2010 at 5:25 PM · Report this
212
An easy fix for ORGASM is to simply grow a mustache and dab a wee bit of syrup on it... with it being close to his nose he won't need very much at all, and nobody needs to know but him. I have a mustache, and I love the way the erotic scent of my lovely lady lasts on it all day long!
Posted by chris_pa on September 14, 2010 at 5:29 PM · Report this
213
I suspect Dan Savage has a "Tofu Torture" story in his past, and thus he regards vegan food as "bland". This is simply not true these days. In fact, vegan restaurants have the spiciest food in any city you are in.

A better answer dates back to the early 20th Century: black inventor and scientist George Washington Carver, who demonstrated that human beings can live on a diet of nothing but sweet potatoes and peanuts. Sweet potatoes and peanuts will make a nutritious "slop" which will support a human being for the rest of his or her life, or as long as "mistress" wants him or her to survive on it.

And the fact that a slop made from sweet potatoes and peanuts is *vegan* would have allowed Dan Savage to give a *good* answer while insulting vegans, instead of a *bad* answer which wasn't even true about vegans.
Posted by Leo J Mauler on September 15, 2010 at 1:20 PM · Report this
214
You could always try finding maple scented candles
Posted by Canadienne on September 20, 2010 at 8:50 PM · Report this
215
To Maple syrup guy: Move to Quebec, marry yourself a French Canadian girl. Only warning: when you go to her mom's for dinner, be warned you might be tempted to fuck her instead after she serves "binnes", "petes de soeur", "tarte au sucre", "Map-O-Spread", and pouding chômeur".
Posted by Fenny Parthing on October 26, 2010 at 2:35 PM · Report this
216
The problem is not the exposing of the hypocrisy of feminism. There are many sites and resources dedicated to doing exactly that night and day. But time and time again, they fail to DO anything about it other than to tout the snail's pace legal system "victories" (oh look! today we won a victory for men. now we're allowed to manscape our eyebrows on tuesdays AND fridays. yay for men's rights.)

It's not enough to expose hypocrisy. That's like a nerd who gets his milk money stolen by bullies every day going around polling other nerds to make sure he has enough evidence to say he's on the moral high ground.

Who the fuck cares about the moral high ground if it's located in the toilet?

Sure men are victims of feminism today. But unlike women, they can't do anything about it other than whine about unfair conditions, legal hypocrisies, unfair treatment, etc. Yeah we get it.

But even though a lot of these men on here are more informed about their rights being stolen or in jeopardy, still 99.9% of them are UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT PRACTICALLY. They STILL cower in front of women. They STILL feel like it's a privilege to talk to women. They STILL defer and cater to women. Look at all the faggot mangina white knights that are so fucking spineless, they let WOMEN run a MEN'S RIGHTS REDDIT. That is the epitome of embarrassment. Men are fucking cowardly faggots in this reddit. Fucking sackless faggots with pussies between their legs who don't have the spine to stand up for themselves.

For all the talk about men standing up for themselves, I have yet to see a man show some fucking spine.

Ever see a Marc Rudov youtube video? For a guy who boasts about handling women, he sounds like a hen-pecked husband on any of the newscasts where he's pitted against some feminist cunt. And the comments from manginas are telling: "oh he sure told her"... NO HE DIDN'T FUCKFACE. He didn't do SHIT. All he did was state facts and expose the hypocrisy of the feminist position. But practically speaking, even though the bitch sitting next to him was dead wrong, she RAN THE SHOW. She was the one in charge of the interview. She was the one causing Rudov to constantly defend his behavior and views. Not once does Rudov stand up for himself and say: "SHUT UP CUNT."

Sure he can't use 4 letter words on TV, but the point is, he never has the spine to call a bitch on her behavior. Instead, like most manginas, all he does is try to JUSTIFY HIMSELF TO WOMEN. This is an epidemic in men's rights. It's as if men are constantly worried about being wrong, constantly worried about having their facts, figures and arguments in order. Do you think the yapping bitch fighting Rudov was worried about her accuracy? FUCK NO. She was just busy making Rudov look like a fucking clown. That's because she wasn't worried about justifying herself to Rudov. She had won the argument before she even started fighting him.

And this is what most pussified manginas fail to grasp. When dealing with women, being right is highly IRRELEVANT.

Being IN CHARGE is the only crucial factor when dealing with women.
Look at how the women deal with manginas when confronted with facts and logic. These bitches simply point to the man's behavior or try to shame them. Instead of arguing over the actual merit of the argument, suddenly the man finds himself arguing about HOW to argue. He's accused of being a "troll" (the favorite tactic of these cunts), he accused of being unoriginal, he's accused of making the woman feel bad, he's shamed about HOW he talks to women, his sexuality and sexual prowess are called into question, he's shamed about his relationship with his mother, he's shamed about his grammar, education and social status, etc. 

And what do the manginas do? What they do best--PANIC. They try to dig for more facts and figures. They try to come up with better reasons and sound logic. They try to come up with the best justifications and excuses for their behavior. They continually kneel before women like scared little puppies, BEGGING for forgiveness, BEGGING for approval, BEGGING for permission. But they completely fail to realize that women are not moved by logic. They don't care about reason. No matter how many justifications and excuses you have, they aren't going to accept them and start cheering you on. Women could give 2 fucks about rational & reasonable replies.

Women care about WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE.

Manginas care about JUSTIFYING themselves to women.

Enough with the faggotry already. Look, you have all the stats, logic, facts and figures on your side. The hypocrisy is readily apparent for anyone willing to do honest objective research. So to think that more reason and debate is what's called for is fucking naive as hell.

What's called for is a SET OF BALLS. It's time to STOP arguing with women. It's simply time to put your foot down where your spine should be and start telling women to: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. If you must argue, at least argue with MEN, stop wasting your time humoring women with your intelligence. Not only is it completely retarded, it's counterproductive to actually changing bitch behavior.

Simple.

Stop citing stats. Stop pointing to links. Stop trying to reason with women. Any man who tries to reason with a woman without FIRST having her respect his authority is a fucking FOOL. Listening is a skill developed from self-discipline. Women lack self-discipline because very few men in their lives will ever have the balls to tell them NO. If you can't tell a woman NO, it doesn't really matter how right you are or how reasonable you are. Just like children don't respond to calculus proofs to change their behavior, neither will women respond to a series of well thought out arguments and govt. supported facts just because they make the most sense. You are living in a dream world if you think women will be swayed by all these reasonable arguments. And you are fucking stupid if you think it hasn't already been tried a billion times over.

Women respond to guys who have the balls to tell them NO. Stop acting like a whiney fag BEGGING women to listen to you. Start acting like a man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppd6LHfhk…

http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf
More...
Posted by status57 on November 5, 2010 at 4:29 PM · Report this
217
The problem is not the exposing of the hypocrisy of feminism. There are many sites and resources dedicated to doing exactly that night and day. But time and time again, they fail to DO anything about it other than to tout the snail's pace legal system "victories" (oh look! today we won a victory for men. now we're allowed to manscape our eyebrows on tuesdays AND fridays. yay for men's rights.)

It's not enough to expose hypocrisy. That's like a nerd who gets his milk money stolen by bullies every day going around polling other nerds to make sure he has enough evidence to say he's on the moral high ground.

Who the fuck cares about the moral high ground if it's located in the toilet?

Sure men are victims of feminism today. But unlike women, they can't do anything about it other than whine about unfair conditions, legal hypocrisies, unfair treatment, etc. Yeah we get it.

But even though a lot of these men on here are more informed about their rights being stolen or in jeopardy, still 99.9% of them are UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT PRACTICALLY. They STILL cower in front of women. They STILL feel like it's a privilege to talk to women. They STILL defer and cater to women. Look at all the faggot mangina white knights that are so fucking spineless, they let WOMEN run a MEN'S RIGHTS REDDIT. That is the epitome of embarrassment. Men are fucking cowardly faggots in this reddit. Fucking sackless faggots with pussies between their legs who don't have the spine to stand up for themselves.

For all the talk about men standing up for themselves, I have yet to see a man show some fucking spine.

Ever see a Marc Rudov youtube video? For a guy who boasts about handling women, he sounds like a hen-pecked husband on any of the newscasts where he's pitted against some feminist cunt. And the comments from manginas are telling: "oh he sure told her"... NO HE DIDN'T FUCKFACE. He didn't do SHIT. All he did was state facts and expose the hypocrisy of the feminist position. But practically speaking, even though the bitch sitting next to him was dead wrong, she RAN THE SHOW. She was the one in charge of the interview. She was the one causing Rudov to constantly defend his behavior and views. Not once does Rudov stand up for himself and say: "SHUT UP CUNT."

Sure he can't use 4 letter words on TV, but the point is, he never has the spine to call a bitch on her behavior. Instead, like most manginas, all he does is try to JUSTIFY HIMSELF TO WOMEN. This is an epidemic in men's rights. It's as if men are constantly worried about being wrong, constantly worried about having their facts, figures and arguments in order. Do you think the yapping bitch fighting Rudov was worried about her accuracy? FUCK NO. She was just busy making Rudov look like a fucking clown. That's because she wasn't worried about justifying herself to Rudov. She had won the argument before she even started fighting him.

And this is what most pussified manginas fail to grasp. When dealing with women, being right is highly IRRELEVANT.

Being IN CHARGE is the only crucial factor when dealing with women.
Look at how the women deal with manginas when confronted with facts and logic. These bitches simply point to the man's behavior or try to shame them. Instead of arguing over the actual merit of the argument, suddenly the man finds himself arguing about HOW to argue. He's accused of being a "troll" (the favorite tactic of these cunts), he accused of being unoriginal, he's accused of making the woman feel bad, he's shamed about HOW he talks to women, his sexuality and sexual prowess are called into question, he's shamed about his relationship with his mother, he's shamed about his grammar, education and social status, etc. 

And what do the manginas do? What they do best--PANIC. They try to dig for more facts and figures. They try to come up with better reasons and sound logic. They try to come up with the best justifications and excuses for their behavior. They continually kneel before women like scared little puppies, BEGGING for forgiveness, BEGGING for approval, BEGGING for permission. But they completely fail to realize that women are not moved by logic. They don't care about reason. No matter how many justifications and excuses you have, they aren't going to accept them and start cheering you on. Women could give 2 fucks about rational & reasonable replies.

Women care about WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE.

Manginas care about JUSTIFYING themselves to women.

Enough with the faggotry already. Look, you have all the stats, logic, facts and figures on your side. The hypocrisy is readily apparent for anyone willing to do honest objective research. So to think that more reason and debate is what's called for is fucking naive as hell.

What's called for is a SET OF BALLS. It's time to STOP arguing with women. It's simply time to put your foot down where your spine should be and start telling women to: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. If you must argue, at least argue with MEN, stop wasting your time humoring women with your intelligence. Not only is it completely retarded, it's counterproductive to actually changing bitch behavior.

Simple.

Stop citing stats. Stop pointing to links. Stop trying to reason with women. Any man who tries to reason with a woman without FIRST having her respect his authority is a fucking FOOL. Listening is a skill developed from self-discipline. Women lack self-discipline because very few men in their lives will ever have the balls to tell them NO. If you can't tell a woman NO, it doesn't really matter how right you are or how reasonable you are. Just like children don't respond to calculus proofs to change their behavior, neither will women respond to a series of well thought out arguments and govt. supported facts just because they make the most sense. You are living in a dream world if you think women will be swayed by all these reasonable arguments. And you are fucking stupid if you think it hasn't already been tried a billion times over.

Women respond to guys who have the balls to tell them NO. Stop acting like a whiney fag BEGGING women to listen to you. Start acting like a man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppd6LHfhk…

http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf
More...
Posted by status57 on November 5, 2010 at 4:30 PM · Report this
218
Vegans are such scrotums and drama queens. Their food is shit to be quite honest. And you know something? Human being have evolved to be OMNIVORES. Look at your own teeth. Your canines and front teeth are designed for tearing meat. Your molars are designed for grinding down leaves and plants. And as I understand it, to go full vegan, you have to run a huge course of dietary supplements because you'd be malnuriced and nutrient-deprived with no source of meat available. So biologically, veganism does not make sense. It's not natural.

Fuck off vegan twats. You're free to do whatever stupid shit you want but the rest of us seal-clubbers, baby-animal killers, etc (insert impassioned weepy insult here) will eat meat. And cut this totalitarian shit out as well. Nobody has to believe in and endorse your bullshit to tolerate it.

By the way, just because some other vegans or some asshat paid to judge vegan foods approves of a vegan food and gives it a gold star, doesn't any of us will enjoy it. An award-winning vegan cupcake is like an award for the least nastiest shit dumped.
Posted by Seal-clubber on May 14, 2011 at 10:03 AM · Report this
219

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/savag…
Posted by sunce on September 7, 2011 at 2:33 AM · Report this
220
Interesting post and thanks for sharing. Some things in here I have not thought about before.Thanks for making such a cool post which is really very well written.will be referring a lot of friends about this.Keep blogging. iPad 2 Movies
Posted by scar sia on October 30, 2011 at 8:07 PM · Report this

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