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Quickies
October 30, 2008
My boyfriend recently moved in with me—the first straight guy I've ever shared an apartment with. I'm very clean and take great pride in my apartment. However, since he moved in, I've tried to be mindful of the fact that there will be certain things I'll need to adjust to. Still, I think it's important to clean up after oneself, so when I found an empty liter-sized Sprite bottle among half-unpacked boxes, I figured I'd leave it there and let him pick it up along with his other trash in our bedroom. The surprise came a couple of days later when I noticed that the liter bottle was not only still in our room, it was full. Was it a new bottle of Sprite? Why wasn't it in the fridge? I opened the bottle and caught a whiff not of Sprite, but of piss.
WTF?
I'm a heavy sleeper, so I guess I don't hear him pee into a plastic liter bottle in the middle of the night. I've already mentioned not leaving dirty dishes around, making sure to use coasters, etc., and I'm beginning to feel like a nag. But isn't this crossing the line?!
Pretty Insulted Seeking Solution
It doesn't cross any lines of mine, PISS, but it clearly crosses a line of yours.
And you know what else probably crosses a line for you? Peeing in the tub—and I can guarantee you, PISS, that any man too lazy to walk to the toilet in the middle of the night is, without a doubt, too lazy to get out of the tub if he realizes he needs to piss after he's stepped into the shower.
Just sayin'.
So what do you do? Well, you cut him a deal. You promise to stop nagging about the little things—dirty dishes here and there, inconsistent use of coasters—in exchange for his solemn promise not to piss in bottles or bathtubs. If your boyfriend is smart, he'll take the deal and stop pissing in bottles and bath—well, he'll stop pissing in bottles anyway, since it'll be easy for you to bust him on that. Pissing in the shower, on the other hand....
Is there a word for the act of filling a woman's vaginal canal (appropriately lubed, of course) with latex, waiting until it hardens, pulling it out, strapping it on, and then fucking someone up the ass with it? If not, I would like to propose "channeling." My girlfriend prefers "verting," but whatever you call it, it sounds like fun. I know there's a host of kits supporting the penile "plaster caster" hobbyist, but I haven't seen the feminine equivalent advertised anywhere.
Congenital Invert
You're free to spend your free time dreaming up wild and crazy hypothetical sex acts and scenarios, CI, and christening them, if that floats your boat. But the world will little note, nor long remember, the names you come up with for your long list of impossible and/or improbable sex acts. For a term to stick—pegging, GGG, santorum—it has to describe or define an act, an attitude, or a substance that is regularly engaged in, assumed, or wiped up by a critical mass of sexually active people. And there just aren't enough willing women or interested men out there, CI, to bring a term for vaginal-canal-as-dildo-mold into popular use.
But in case I'm wrong: I don't think "channeling" or "verting" quite captures it. If vaginal-cast dildos catch on, CI, I believe the act should be known as a "Rachel Whitereading."
I am a 20-year-old straight female dating the boy of my dreams. The only problem is that the sex is awful! His dick doesn't get hard half of the time, he doesn't like blowjobs, and he never seems to enjoy anything I do to him. The only thing he doesn't have a problem with is penetrating me from behind, or "doggy-style." I've asked him once or twice if he might like men, but he never gives me a straight answer and I can't shake the feeling that he might be gay. He says that he never has a problem coming or getting hard when he is masturbating. I am his first relationship. Could he be gay or is he just insecure?
Real Confused
When I was a 20-year-old gay male, RC, the "boy of my dreams" was a lot of things—soft and pink as a nursery, for starters—but insecure, inept, and incommunicative? Those weren't the traits I dreamed about, RC, and they're traits that should disqualify a guy from boy-of-dreams status.
As to the matter of his sexuality, RC, there's no way for me to know for sure if your boyfriend's a fag, short of fucking his ass. (And even then I couldn't tell you for sure—I mean, what if he cried the whole time?) But a guy enjoying doggy-style sex with girls is no more evidence of latent homosexuality than a gay man's preference for face-to-face anal is evidence of latent heterosexuality. (And, yes, face-to-face is usually how it's done, people.)
But gay or straight, it doesn't sound like this boy is the right boy for you. Dream another dream, RC.
How long will come keep? Even when my boyfriend blue-pills it and works my hole for a few hours, by the time I push it out there's hardly enough for ONE gulp—to say nothing of filling a champagne flute. As hot as it sounds, I'm NOT going to invite 10 of our closest friends to dump loads in me. I figure my boyfriend and I could freeze our loads, push them up my butt, and he can churn them as he works my hole. But can come go bad? I'd rather not ask my doctor.
Desperately Seeking Semen
P.S. We've been together for five years and stopped using condoms four years ago after testing. No risk of the pest.
Gross-out letters from teenage straight and/or closeted boys pretending to be disgusting fags don't usually include information about testing and the length of the relationship, which leads me to believe that you might actually be disgusting fags. So I will answer your disgusting question:
You and your boyfriend will gulp down loads—or sip 'em out of champagne flutes—after you've pushed them back out of your ass, DSS. Do you really think that frozen-and-then-defrosted come, even if it's gone "bad," is going to be any worse than the slop you're already putting in your mouths?
My good friend Sarah tells me that you said you would give me a shout-out in your column last week for my birthday. I probably would have shit my pants and exploded with birthday happiness. But you didn't. So I just wanted to say thanks for ruining my 21st birthday. Oh, and if I could get the $3.25 back that I paid for the hardcover of The Commitment I found in a bargain bin, that would be fantastic.
Patrick From Portland
P.S. Just kidding. You're still my favorite sex columnist. But seriously: my birthday? Totally ruined.
Sorry about that, PFP. I will make it up to you by personally administering a belated birthday spanking the next time I'm in town.
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2
All the same ways men and women have sex with each other face to face, whether said men and women are doing it vaginal style or anal.
The asshole's like, an inch away from the vagina. It's not that different, position wise.
I'm a woman, and I like missionary position anal because you get the nice grind on your clit. Obviously if you're a guy, there's a cock there instead, but I imagine the mechanics are basically the same.
The asshole's like, an inch away from the vagina. It's not that different, position wise.
I'm a woman, and I like missionary position anal because you get the nice grind on your clit. Obviously if you're a guy, there's a cock there instead, but I imagine the mechanics are basically the same.
4
There must be a reason he is the "Man of your Dreams", so it's worth trying to stick with him a little longer. He may just have a serious case of death grip syndrome combined with shy. Doggy-style has him most in control without you looking, so it's going to be the easiest for him. Talk about it with him, if he can't open up some, then theres more guys out there. If it's a sensitivity issue, esp with using condoms, have him stop jerking off for a couple of days before you next give it a try. At a minimum, he sould use something other than his hand, like a Fleshlight, with a condom. Most guys start jerking at around 12, so he's had ~8yrs to develop a pattern, it's going to take a while to change it.
5
thanks for the tip on rachel whiteread. her 'house' was awesome. so it's not all pervy n' political tips from mr. savage. love yer column danny boy
6
In case anyone actually wants to try it, I would recommend asking a doctor before filling your vaginal crevices with liquid latex. A person's vaginal canal is a lot better at absorbing toxins than a man's penis is. It would probably also be a lot more sensitive to some foreign substance sitting in it, regardless of lubrication.
Not to mention the fact that the vaginal canal is basically collapsed against itself most of the time, so you'd have to overfill it and somehow prevent all that latex from leaving it, either through the vulva or the cervix.
Moral of the story: probably a bad idea.
Not to mention the fact that the vaginal canal is basically collapsed against itself most of the time, so you'd have to overfill it and somehow prevent all that latex from leaving it, either through the vulva or the cervix.
Moral of the story: probably a bad idea.
7
He's pissing in a fucking bottle? That's not even on the same planet as not picking up his socks or forgetting to use a coaster. Unless he's a recovering hobo or has a UTI, he needs to grow the fuck up and learn how to make potty like a big boy. Good god, Dan. Standards!
8
For real, unless the bathroom is literally in an outhouse, and it's 40 below outside, this is beyond gross. I am all for being "soooooo intimate" and I live with a guy in "the open, flagrant, unselfconscious farting that characterizes all long-term relationships". But pissing in a Sprite bottle WTF?
9
I think it would probably be a better idea to fill a condom with liquid latex and then shove the condom up her 'giner to harden. Much less of a health hazard.
10
Yeah, I'm a dude, and no one has ever accused me of being not lazy, but have you seen the opening of a Sprite bottle? I have trouble hitting the hole in the toilet sometimes when I'm groggy. The only way I can imagine doing it would be to put your junk inside the bottle opening, and it's a fucking one-liter! If that's the size of his dick, DTMFA and get yourself someone that's better equipped.
11
Is it really that much easier to roll out of bed, find an empty soda bottle, and simply aim your piss stream into it? Man, I've been peeing like a sucker.
Dan, Thank you for calling out DSS and his boyfriend on their disgusting, and potentially dangerous fetish. Considering DSS refers to HIV/AIDS as a "pest" is our first clue that should these two come-craving lovebirds ever disperse, they will likely take their reckless behavior with them. They can claim to be clean, but the sexual acts they engage in are most assuredly dirty.
Dan, Thank you for calling out DSS and his boyfriend on their disgusting, and potentially dangerous fetish. Considering DSS refers to HIV/AIDS as a "pest" is our first clue that should these two come-craving lovebirds ever disperse, they will likely take their reckless behavior with them. They can claim to be clean, but the sexual acts they engage in are most assuredly dirty.
12
I am in agreement with most of these people. How the hell do you jump all over some people just stupid shit and then let this nasty piss saving M/F slide. I mean really. Even if you are sick as hell or it is 40 below to your outhouse or you are just lazy. When you get out of the bed wouldn't you get rid of it. What are you saving it for. WAIT I don't want to know. Girl you DTMFA and run like an illegal. All saving my piss saving activities are in the top ten on the DTMFA list. I mean if you want to piss on yourself in the shower and promptly get clean... Not for me but I know someone likes it. But don't save it in a bottle. It is not tomorrows breakfast shake. For the sake of us all you need to out that nasty bastard on YouTube and be done with it. Can you imagine what she isn't catching him doing. WAIT I don't want to think about that either.
13
Real Confused is concerned her boyfriend is gay and Dan focuses on the anal and that straight guys could like anal. But as an unplanned (is there any other kind?) member of the Straight Spouse Network (str8s whose spouses came out years or decades into the marriage), I can report the pre-out gay husband often prefers doggie-style anal with his wife. He doesn't have to make eye contact, she looks most like a guy from that angle, and he can more easily imagine he is doing a guy.
But more telling/alarming to me is that he doesn't give a "straight" answer to her Qs about orientation. EVERY straight guy (and some self-closeted or lying gay guys) will loudly proclaim their straightness.
Dan's right that she needs to DTMFA. But as she moves on, she shouldn't discount her likely accurate assessment of his orientation. To find such a guy "the boy of her dreams" suggests she's at risk of more of the same fag-haggery and needs to look carefully for those decidedly straight but senstive guys. You'll be doing them a favor if you get them before the pre-lesbians do.
But more telling/alarming to me is that he doesn't give a "straight" answer to her Qs about orientation. EVERY straight guy (and some self-closeted or lying gay guys) will loudly proclaim their straightness.
Dan's right that she needs to DTMFA. But as she moves on, she shouldn't discount her likely accurate assessment of his orientation. To find such a guy "the boy of her dreams" suggests she's at risk of more of the same fag-haggery and needs to look carefully for those decidedly straight but senstive guys. You'll be doing them a favor if you get them before the pre-lesbians do.
14
My boyfriend pisses in Mountain Dew bottles (widemouth). We have one bathroom in an apartment with four people, so I'd pee in a bottle if I could when I wake up and somebody's in the bathroom, instead of staying up and waiting. If you throw out the bottle without opening it (careful not to break it!), what's the big deal? Urine's not that gross- should be sterile. On the other hand, he should have warned her- what if she'd tried to drink it. He probably knew how she'd react and was trying to wait to get rid of it when she wouldn't find out. Anyway, they don't sound like a good match...
15
Yeah, I'm totally with the other people... peeing in the shower is one thing, but pissing in a bottle in the bedroom because you're too lazy to walk your ass to the bathroom is disgusting. Unless he's got some sort of medical condition that causes him to have to piss instantly without warning, there's no excuse for that, and you need to deal with it ASAP before you slowly find out other weird/crazy shit that he does that isn't acceptable by any normal human being.
16
Right on, Steph! I never WANTED to be the kind of guy who pisses in bottles, but when I found myself waking up with a need to pee, and one of my roommates showering in the bathroom, and the other waiting outside, it was a habit I reluctantly picked up. You bring the bottle with you into the restroom later, pour it out discreetly, and either discard the bottle or wash it out, depending on your feelings about carbon footprints. You also definitely don't leave it around for anyone else to find. Because it's disgusting, even if it is sadly necessary at times.
And for what it's worth, you don't stick your dick in the bottle. (Mountain Dew does make a wide-mouthed bottle, but most of the others are too small for that.) But you can set the head of your dick ON the lip of the bottle, line it up with your urethra and everything will still aim properly--but you need to hold on fiercely to maintain a sort of seal, and you have to bear in mind that the bottle gets heavier as it fills and you need to adjust your grip accordingly, or you'll have a horrible, unspeakable mess. It was actually a terrifying experience, and I don't have roommates anymore.
Also, is it possible that the reader lived in New York City? Because I doubt this sort of thing happens in places with plentiful public facilities.
And for what it's worth, you don't stick your dick in the bottle. (Mountain Dew does make a wide-mouthed bottle, but most of the others are too small for that.) But you can set the head of your dick ON the lip of the bottle, line it up with your urethra and everything will still aim properly--but you need to hold on fiercely to maintain a sort of seal, and you have to bear in mind that the bottle gets heavier as it fills and you need to adjust your grip accordingly, or you'll have a horrible, unspeakable mess. It was actually a terrifying experience, and I don't have roommates anymore.
Also, is it possible that the reader lived in New York City? Because I doubt this sort of thing happens in places with plentiful public facilities.
17
The guy pissing into a sprite bottle in the middle of the night must be an idiot. Putting the 'err gross' issues aside a sprite bottle must be just about the worst receptacle you could use. You'd use a plastic milk bottle. It's got a larger opening and holds it shape better.
I'd dump him for his stupidity.
I'd dump him for his stupidity.
19
I'm with David ("str8" guy above)... every heterosexual male I know will ardently maintain that they love pussy if their sexual orientation is challenged. Then again, so will some closeted gay guys, but I can't think of why a truly straight guy would give anything but a straightforward answer. But Dan makes the best point: wishy-washy communicative skills are enough of a deal-breaker... it doesn't even matter what they're talking about.
20
The problem is not that urine isn't sterile (can we stop bringing up this fact to excuse gross unsanitary habits) but that it fucking stinks once exposed to the air, it's messy and wet, and it fucking stinks once exposed to air.
My hair and fingernails are pretty harmless in medical terms, but you don't see me keeping bags of that around, or letting the floor turn into a carpet of human waste.
Ew. I just icked myself out.
My hair and fingernails are pretty harmless in medical terms, but you don't see me keeping bags of that around, or letting the floor turn into a carpet of human waste.
Ew. I just icked myself out.
21
Um, for people saying that "UGH! peeing in a bottle is disgusting- who would do such a thing when you can just go to the bathroom" have obviously never had to share a bathroom with other people! People do not always get out when you need them to as they are busy themselves with the dumps or the long showers, so..hey. You piss in a bottle. *shrugs* Obviously, it's your job to get rid of it ASAP, but- Coming from a house filled with girls, after you piss in a bottle, it's hard to get it to the bathroom without people going "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU PISSING IN BOTTLES?! OMFG NASTY BASTARD!" so they sit for awhile.
Don't judge me.
However, when moving with a person who is your S/o, I think its fair to piss in a bottle and walk it into the bathroom in front of them simply because you are paying rent and it lets them know they tok too long.
Don't judge me.
However, when moving with a person who is your S/o, I think its fair to piss in a bottle and walk it into the bathroom in front of them simply because you are paying rent and it lets them know they tok too long.
22
>>I can report the pre-out gay husband often prefers doggie-style anal with his wife. He doesn't have to make eye contact, she looks most like a guy from that angle, and he can more easily imagine he is doing a guy.
WHAT Women are you sleeping with looks like a dude with you are doing doggie? 'Cause she needs to be dropped, LOLZ. Man, dude I feel bad for the straight guy like likes anal as he's obviusly a 'pre-gay' then. Effin' Pre-Fag.
WHAT Women are you sleeping with looks like a dude with you are doing doggie? 'Cause she needs to be dropped, LOLZ. Man, dude I feel bad for the straight guy like likes anal as he's obviusly a 'pre-gay' then. Effin' Pre-Fag.
24
I was ignorant of face to face anal, until a fateful night where I thrust a salt shaker through a hole in a napkin. A friend filmed it. We edited into a "porn" called Condoments and were invited to HUMP 2. I saw a lot of stuff that night.
25
Yes, Congenital Invert, you can make such a cast, but you will likely have to have a professional do the service and it will cost you.
Here is one such professional in the UK:
http://privatesculpture.co.uk/gallery7.html
Here is one such professional in the UK:
http://privatesculpture.co.uk/gallery7.html
26
I once had a one-night *hook-up* with a guy who *repeatedly* peed in a Tide bottle he kept at the bedside so if he woke up in the middle of the night, he wouldn't have to go down the (admittedly) somewhat precarious spiral staircase to the bathroom. Unfortunately, the first time he told me about it we weren't awakening from a deep sleep in his dark apartment - we were making out and the lights were still on. He acknowledged it was pretty gross the first time and I was kinda like, "ok, just hurry up." By the fifth time (!), I was like, "Based upon how often you have to pee, you may have an enlarged prostate. Like, seriously." To which he replied, "It's all the seltzer I'm drinking!." THEN STOP DRINKING THE SELTZER. The Tide bottle pissing, in combination with several other very unfortunate events that evening, has led to this night earning the unofficial "Worst Hookup Ever" award among me and my friends. ;-)
27
Why hasn't anyone brought up the possibility of the guy saving his piss being a fetish/compulsion thing? Maybe he gets off on saving his piss--I think there was someone in the column recently who did that.
Or maybe he gets off on people finding his piss in bottles.
At any rate, even if he lived with lots of people before and needed the bottle, shouldn't he have gotten rid of it when he moved in with the girlfriend? It's not like there will be much of bathroom issue, right?
And for the record, I, too, am a woman and I piss in the shower all the time--and it grosses my boyfriend out.
Or maybe he gets off on people finding his piss in bottles.
At any rate, even if he lived with lots of people before and needed the bottle, shouldn't he have gotten rid of it when he moved in with the girlfriend? It's not like there will be much of bathroom issue, right?
And for the record, I, too, am a woman and I piss in the shower all the time--and it grosses my boyfriend out.
28
Hey Dan! How about putting up a poll on shower peeing? It's always presented as a "guy thing" but I wonder if that's really the case?
I would like to see a poll like this:
I'm a woman, and I never pee in the shower
I'm a woman, and I have peed in the shower, guiltily
I'm a woman, and I pee freely in the shower
I'm a man, and I never pee in the shower
I'm a man, and I have peed in the shower, guiltily
I'm a man, and I pee freely in the shower
I would like to see a poll like this:
I'm a woman, and I never pee in the shower
I'm a woman, and I have peed in the shower, guiltily
I'm a woman, and I pee freely in the shower
I'm a man, and I never pee in the shower
I'm a man, and I have peed in the shower, guiltily
I'm a man, and I pee freely in the shower
29
Um...Dan.....Her boyfriend won't give her an answer when she asks him if he's gay, doesn't get hard, and doesn't like BJ's and you said you really couldn't tell? I know that you wanted to hit the other aspect of her question, i.e. how is he dreamy when he is obviously uncommunicative etc... but I really think you fell asleep at the wheel there. Either they guy thinks she is unattractive or he is wishing she had a flatter chest and, oh yeah, a penis. ;)
30
Well, my house is fucking freezing in the winter, and I have a ton of roommates with various girlfriends running around at all hours, so being able to stay in my cocoon for a night piss is standard procedure.
31
It's not like I have wood ea. time I read your column, Dan. But this time I did, and clicking over to RW's Wikipedia page did not make it long for this world. Or, whatever.
You know what I mean. So much for the kinks herein :(
You know what I mean. So much for the kinks herein :(
32
In defense to the whole "peeing in a bottle" issue, I pee often in a bottle at work. I use a Gatorade bottle (it has a wide mouth) During car trips, I use it often. it is handy
33
Also, I know a girl who pisses in a pint glass should she have to go in the middle of the night.
"Oh! She's so disgusting!"
whatever.
"Oh! She's so disgusting!"
whatever.
34
Ive pissed in the odd bottle in desperate times. Its fairly easy to do unless you have a gaping dickhole or a vagina. You just gotta watch that first spurt and then your in the clear. Kinda weird to make a habit of it though if your in a house with plumbing though.
35
Maybe he's just a piss fetishist working up the nerve to ask permission to pour it on. Or perhaps he likes drinking his piss once in a while.
36
I had a boss who kept bottles of piss in his office. Of course he was wheelchair-bound... That was still no excuse for asking his employees to empty his pee-bottles.
37
Ah, I have something to add to the advice to the girl whose "dream" boy had some issues.
A guy whose dick doesn't get fully hard and doesn't like blowjobs and doesn't like to look the girl in the face while fucking AND is uncommunicative could easily have a troubled background, to wit: a fundamentalist set of parents and extended family who isolated him socially and made him self-loathing and deeply ashamed of sex. For such a person (speaking from personal experience), accepting a blowjob from a woman, particularly woman you have strong feelings for, because (here is the mental script) "this act is DISGUSTING and TERRIBLE, and the person doing it must be SUFFERING HORRIBLY doing it to me, oh no, I'm feeling pleasure from this terrible thing, I'm an awful person doomed to everlasting pain in hell!"
Does anybody here see that having that script running through one's head at 120 decibels would interfere with erections and pleasure and with looking at the person who is involved in the damned acts with you?
There are a lot of very damaged people out there, damaged in ways which others who have had normal, positive sexual experiences and who have a reasonably positive view of themselves will have difficult understanding.
It's 28 years since I left home and I'm still not over everything.
A guy whose dick doesn't get fully hard and doesn't like blowjobs and doesn't like to look the girl in the face while fucking AND is uncommunicative could easily have a troubled background, to wit: a fundamentalist set of parents and extended family who isolated him socially and made him self-loathing and deeply ashamed of sex. For such a person (speaking from personal experience), accepting a blowjob from a woman, particularly woman you have strong feelings for, because (here is the mental script) "this act is DISGUSTING and TERRIBLE, and the person doing it must be SUFFERING HORRIBLY doing it to me, oh no, I'm feeling pleasure from this terrible thing, I'm an awful person doomed to everlasting pain in hell!"
Does anybody here see that having that script running through one's head at 120 decibels would interfere with erections and pleasure and with looking at the person who is involved in the damned acts with you?
There are a lot of very damaged people out there, damaged in ways which others who have had normal, positive sexual experiences and who have a reasonably positive view of themselves will have difficult understanding.
It's 28 years since I left home and I'm still not over everything.
39
The worst peeing-in-a-bottle experience I've had was driving across the country, tying to pee into a Vitamin Water bottle (nice wide moust), losing control (of the penis, not the car), spraying across the dashboard and radio, and thereby waking up my brother. Or maybe it was the awesomest peeing-in-a-bottle experience. You be the judge.
40
re: dreamy boyfriend. He could be suffering from deathgrip/"real woman isn't like my fantasy" syndrome, which could change over time with a very understanding partner...but, the evasive answers about his orientation ring alarm bells with me, too. It's not unusual for a person struggling with his/her gayness to try heterosex first, hoping that it will work out. My deathgrip partner also had difficulty maintaining erections, claimed he didn't like blowjobs, preferred doggiestyle, had no problems masturbating. He also had no problems denying being gay.
42
did anyone listen to the podcast? dan was right...those guys' voices were hot! wish i could see pix =(
43
You're 20! What the fuck do you know about the man of your dreams??? Exactly nothing, to be precise. Jesus, 20 year olds are so fucking stupid. He's either the man of your dreams or not. It's not: He's the man of my dreams, but..... No buts. He is or he isn't. Sounds like he isn't.
44
Not sure a condom would work--seems like you would need some force to keep it stretched. How about a female condom? You could remove the ring and it might still give you a pretty a pretty good mold.
45
Not to get off topic, but what the heck is the issue with pissing in the shower? It's washing down the drain with all rest of the grime on your body! It's not like we're taking a crap in there.
47
Wow, face to face? Really? Why did I have to picture that? So, like, everybody's getting penetrated at the same time?
49
You people who feel bottle pissers are dealbreakers are obviously single. That's what this is. it's like a guy who says his girlfriend can't ever have armpit hair.
You know after a few years you will find her sportin a few hairs and not giving a damn. Pising in bottles, I repat, is when you ahve no choice. it's not a thing you do just to do.
God, some people are daft. Would you rather have a bottle pisser or a person who wets themselves or the bed on ocassion?
You know after a few years you will find her sportin a few hairs and not giving a damn. Pising in bottles, I repat, is when you ahve no choice. it's not a thing you do just to do.
God, some people are daft. Would you rather have a bottle pisser or a person who wets themselves or the bed on ocassion?
50
Dear God Almighty, Dan. Pissing in a bottle? Seriously? That wouldn't have you ushering the dude out the door?
That kind of frat boy shit is revolting and reflects a serious lack of motivation. He's so lazy he can't pee in a toilet? Can he get out of bed? Brush his teeth? Go to work? Wash his skidmarks out of his piss-scented underwear?
Come on, Dan. No woman should EVER have to put up with a man who regularly chooses to pee in a bottle rather than get his lazy ass up and use the toilet. That is NOT OKAY.
That kind of frat boy shit is revolting and reflects a serious lack of motivation. He's so lazy he can't pee in a toilet? Can he get out of bed? Brush his teeth? Go to work? Wash his skidmarks out of his piss-scented underwear?
Come on, Dan. No woman should EVER have to put up with a man who regularly chooses to pee in a bottle rather than get his lazy ass up and use the toilet. That is NOT OKAY.
51
Also, I don't care how many roommates or bathrooms you have. Don't piss in a bottle and leave it in you bedroom. Piss off the balcony. Piss in the back yard. Piss in the front yard. What the fuck is wrong with you?
52
female shameless shower pee-er ... going on 35, been doin' it long as i can remember - never thought a thing about it.
53
wow, can't believe the uptightness i am hearing about pee!! fresh pee is not gross to me. i often pee in a jar and empty it in the morning. why? because if i stumble through the house, stub my toe and turn on lights to get all the way to the bathroom, i am AWAKE, and then can't get to sleep again. and sometimes i need to pee twice a night. since i desperately need my sleep, i find it's much easier to roll out of bed, squat over a jar, roll back in, and go straight back to sleep. in the a.m. i just empty it out in the toilet and rinse the jar. the end. it's not a kink or a fetish, and it's not lazy, it's just practical. the only possible ick factor for me about PISS's letter is that it sounds like her man didn't empty the bottle and left it laying around.
peeing in the shower? i'm surprised if the savage audience finds this is even a topic to talk about. i HAPPILY pee in the shower. it's just water, what we're all made of. i am female, for those readers who think gender relates to all this.
peeing in the shower? i'm surprised if the savage audience finds this is even a topic to talk about. i HAPPILY pee in the shower. it's just water, what we're all made of. i am female, for those readers who think gender relates to all this.
54
I think the guy needs to dump you for being stupid. Why are you bringing up your relationship issues and asking for solution in Savage Love. I am not surprise that this is the first straight guy that you have lived with, it will probably end up being your last.
If he is your boyfriend you need to give him the benefit of the doubt. But I can also assume that you have either never been to a college party or never had roommates in college.
The odds that your boyfriend pissed into a Spite bottle in the middle of the night (in the dark) is a difficult task. Then he did not pee all over you, the bed and the floor is amazing.
I have to assume that because you are so clean that you are also one of those girls that stay in the shower for hours (especially after sex because you feel dirty). Then the poor guy wakes up and after the first hour has the choice you disturbing you in the bathroom or using the Spite bottle.
I think he needs to dump your for going around smelling bottles.
If he is your boyfriend you need to give him the benefit of the doubt. But I can also assume that you have either never been to a college party or never had roommates in college.
The odds that your boyfriend pissed into a Spite bottle in the middle of the night (in the dark) is a difficult task. Then he did not pee all over you, the bed and the floor is amazing.
I have to assume that because you are so clean that you are also one of those girls that stay in the shower for hours (especially after sex because you feel dirty). Then the poor guy wakes up and after the first hour has the choice you disturbing you in the bathroom or using the Spite bottle.
I think he needs to dump your for going around smelling bottles.
55
Letter writer #1 - this is not going to go well. What he did is really gross, and not normal; I've known gamer guys who did that when the bathroom was on another floor, and they didn't want to leave their game, and *other* gamer guys said they were gross.
She, on the other hand, has her own set of hang ups. Just moved in together, empty bottle amongst the other moving trash, and she "figured [she]'d leave it there and let him pick it up along with his other trash in [their] bedroom"? Isn't it a little early to get that passive-aggressive? You're not his mom (although he doesn't seem to have grown up, what with the bottle-pissing); you shouldn't be passive-aggressively trying to teach him lessons. If you're anal-retentively clean (as I am), chances are in any relationship you will have to 1) figure out stuff to let go, 2) figure out stuff you absolutely need him to do, and tell him, and 3, a big one) figure out stuff it's easier to do yourself (and don't resent it).
She, on the other hand, has her own set of hang ups. Just moved in together, empty bottle amongst the other moving trash, and she "figured [she]'d leave it there and let him pick it up along with his other trash in [their] bedroom"? Isn't it a little early to get that passive-aggressive? You're not his mom (although he doesn't seem to have grown up, what with the bottle-pissing); you shouldn't be passive-aggressively trying to teach him lessons. If you're anal-retentively clean (as I am), chances are in any relationship you will have to 1) figure out stuff to let go, 2) figure out stuff you absolutely need him to do, and tell him, and 3, a big one) figure out stuff it's easier to do yourself (and don't resent it).
56
I call shenanigans on the latex cunt mould.
I did some latex work for special effects stage makeup, and that shit takes hours and hours to dry. In a moist, warm body cavity, she would have to be propped upside down for 24-48 hours to get a solid mould.
So yeah, might be a fun fantasy, but it's connection with reality is even less solid than Sarah Palin's grasp of science.
I did some latex work for special effects stage makeup, and that shit takes hours and hours to dry. In a moist, warm body cavity, she would have to be propped upside down for 24-48 hours to get a solid mould.
So yeah, might be a fun fantasy, but it's connection with reality is even less solid than Sarah Palin's grasp of science.
57
My girl likes pee play, and I indulge her (I'm GGG) but pissing in a bottle and leaving it lying around would be well outside our boundaries. PISS should bring it up, see if this is his kink and decide if she can indulge him somehow. If he just left it lying around because he was too lazy to empty it, well, DTMFA.
58
For RC, I would want to ask her: how does he feel about eating her pussy? If he loves going down there and pleasing her, I'd tend to vote for "insecurity" and "being too used to jerking off." If he wants no part of it, that might make me lean more to "gay."
Perhaps that's me; I was like her boyfriend in some ways (not all the specifics, but having trouble getting hard/coming) for a long time, but I loved eating pussy because I could be good at it anyway.
Perhaps that's me; I was like her boyfriend in some ways (not all the specifics, but having trouble getting hard/coming) for a long time, but I loved eating pussy because I could be good at it anyway.
59
I could maybe accept someone peeing in a bottle out of necessity, but I would expect them to ask me about it first (if I'd be ok with it) instead of being all shady so that I would just find it... The shadiness is what would kill my mood...
60
I think the pissing in the shower thing is quite funny. As some one has already said, it's just going down the drain like the rest of the grime on your body. And, remember, sweat has urea. Think about that the next time you kiss your lover's sweaty body.
62
I'm a dude and i'm INTO piss. i mean i like it and stuff. but seriously mr. piss in a bottle is a lazy dickhead. Even if he thinks that pissing in a bottle is groovy, why the fuck doesn't he take it into the john with him in the morning and empty the fucker? really!>!
my advice to her is this. go down to the pharmacy, buy some adult diapers I recommend Attends (yah another piss related fetish of mine) and bring them home.
throw out the sprite bottle. and put a diaper on his pillow. When he goes to bed and asks 'WTF!!" say "Frankly I would rather you piss in a diaper than in a fucking bottle, you pig. At least then YOU are the only one who deals with the aftermath and not me. So either act like an adult or dress like a baby. you pick!!"
my advice to her is this. go down to the pharmacy, buy some adult diapers I recommend Attends (yah another piss related fetish of mine) and bring them home.
throw out the sprite bottle. and put a diaper on his pillow. When he goes to bed and asks 'WTF!!" say "Frankly I would rather you piss in a diaper than in a fucking bottle, you pig. At least then YOU are the only one who deals with the aftermath and not me. So either act like an adult or dress like a baby. you pick!!"
63
In the case of RC, I have had the experience that certain meds can impact a male's ability to get an erection and come based on the circumstances. My husband went through a phase while adjusting to meds that required him to have more thrusting and a tighter grip than before. The good news was that after awhile this changed and we were back to regular BJ's and missionary as well as doggie style.
64
Occaisonally I piss in glasses we use as drinking glasses. I also piss outside our back porch as often as I can, (we live in the city). I am fascinated by pissing in areas other than the dreaded toilet.
65
Haven't you ever heard the definition of an Episcopalian as someone who gets out of the shower to take a piss? What's wrong with pissing in the shower? Piss is sterile, and it goes down the drain into the same pipes the toilet does. It wastes water not to piss in the shower.
66
Dan, dude who pisses in a bottle might have a medical problem. I know someone who pisses in a bottle at night. He has a valve problem and literally cannot make it to the bathroom sometimes, roommate or no. (I found this out visiting his wife,) Turns out the problem is hereditary: showed up on his kid's MRI too.
So consult with some of your medical help for possibilities and see if the GF can either ask questions or suggest he visit a dr.
As for doggie style, that can be FUN, though in this case it's worth checking out the other angles.
So consult with some of your medical help for possibilities and see if the GF can either ask questions or suggest he visit a dr.
As for doggie style, that can be FUN, though in this case it's worth checking out the other angles.
67
Hey will there be pictures of that belated birthday spanking if you actually follow thru with it? LOL
I'm on the east coast dan, ever make out this way? Wouldn't mind a birthday spanking from you.. :)
I'm on the east coast dan, ever make out this way? Wouldn't mind a birthday spanking from you.. :)
68
I would think a female condom would work better for the purpose of making a mold of her vagina. And I suppose if you pumped enough liquid latex up her, it would solve the collaped canal problem. Still as a woman, I can't really imagine the point. If you're getting dick, you should enjoy it for those of us who have had to make do with latex toys for the last year. Maybe I just don't have that much imagination.
70
men love to look at girl ass. i don't think that the guy is necessarily gay, he just likes her ass. some chicks can't give a proper blow job either. at least in my experience. only had a couple gfs that actually had me looking forward to a BJ more than vag
71
One summer, while renting a house with some friends, I only pissed in containers: 2-liter bottles, 1-liter bottles, thermoses, even tupperware--and I stored them in my closet. I can't really say what inspired this, other than it was easier than walking down the hallway to the bathroom.
My habit blew up in a big way, though when the group of us we're moving out. One of the gals came up to my room to help me carry some stuff down, and saw the closet, chock-full of piss-filled containers. We never spoke about it, but I suspect she was rather disgusted.
(Tip: Never pee in a wax to-go cup--like the kind from McDonald's, BK, etc., etc.--piss eats right through 'em.)
My habit blew up in a big way, though when the group of us we're moving out. One of the gals came up to my room to help me carry some stuff down, and saw the closet, chock-full of piss-filled containers. We never spoke about it, but I suspect she was rather disgusted.
(Tip: Never pee in a wax to-go cup--like the kind from McDonald's, BK, etc., etc.--piss eats right through 'em.)
72
Dan, I love you...I almost spit out a mouthful of water over "(And even then I couldn't tell you for sure—I mean, what if he cried the whole time?)" But I'm a little horrified that you're okay with pissing in a Sprite bottle. I mean, I'm a girl and I pee in the shower - I have no issues with that. I clean the tub regularly and the hot water rinses it down. But I have known too many men who feel the need to pee in bottles - and leave the bottle for someone else to find. Men...you need to stop doing this. Pee in a bottle? Fine. But if you leave it for me or some other unsuspecting girl to find while they're cleaning naked only to spill it all over themselves...then I'm gonna wait til you're sleeping and pee all over you!
74
What a bunch of dysfunctional folks out there! Peeing in a bottle cause you're just lazy (put some Pampers on him at night until he can get "control" of his bladder); latex up the vaja-ja (go get some toys and be happy); and then there's the semen saver:what can you say...so disgusting.
75
Wait, bykerchick is on to something, i think - could we finally have discovered a potential heterosexual use for the female condom? The whole "theoretical cavity" thing is still a problem, but maybe if she was upside down...
77
Good idea Bykerchick! I happen to have a small, tight vagina and find almost all dildos (not to mention large dicks) thick and uncomfortable.
A custom-made dildo sounds like an excellent idea!
I don't know how unusual my smallness is, but a VCAD mold might not be the bad investment opportunity Dan seems to think.
A custom-made dildo sounds like an excellent idea!
I don't know how unusual my smallness is, but a VCAD mold might not be the bad investment opportunity Dan seems to think.
78
Maybe the guy is selling his "clean" piss? Damn you Dan Savage for taking away this man's livelihood! Doesn't that dame understand that he's pissing in the bottle for her? Their first house will be the house that piss built!
79
HOLY SH*T! Pissing in a bottle-WTF! That's totally differnt then pissing in the shower! I mean for cryin out loud-- GROSS GROSS GROSS! If he can't hold it through the night or make it to the big boy potty maybe he needs to be single and wearing depends. CONFRONT the pig and if can't handle it DTMF.
80
I had no idea what to think reading these.... Let's start with Mr.Sprite.... My gawd that is disgusting! I have nothing against piss, I love that shit, but leaving it around! GROSS! Now for the cum freezer, WTF! I am a faggot with some weird ass fetishes... but drinking cum out of your ass??? *BARF* Sorry but that is gross.... And I laughed at the "Rachel Whitereading.". and I agree with L's comment! lmao
81
The guy pisses in a bottle instead of the toilet? What? Is his computer and deck of Magic cards in the bedroom, too? Who puts UP with this shit? DTMFA.
82
In my experience cum does go bad. I was cleaning up my bedroom the other day and found a rubber (that some inconsiderate one night stand neglected to tie the top on) and when I stepped in it I thought I was going to vomit it smelled so bad. And I'm a cum loving girl so that wasn't it...lol
83
What's wrong with pissing in the shower? You don't have to aim or worry about hitting the toilet seat, and it gets washed down the drain immediately. Plus, it saves water because you don't have to flush.
86
I can't believe some people can't believe anyone would dare be disgusted by piss in a bottle. She should leave her menstrual blood in yogurt cups and scatter them about the house. Pr take a dump in an ice cream tub.
87
All of these people that defend pissing in bottles are getting upset because they have done it in times of desperation themselves. That's not even close to being the issue here, it's that he's leaving around the evidence and neglecting to clean it up.
But to be fair, I'd really rather encounter a CLOSED UP bottle of pee than when people try and leave their pee sitting in the toilet "because it saves water." Ugh, so many things wrong with that: OK, what if I drop something of mine in the toilet (like a toothbrush?!)? And the smell? And the fact that it leaves rings in the toilet? And you know what, it DOESN'T save water I'm going to flush it if I'm the next person to use it because (here's where it gets graphically specific) I don't want anyone else's pee splashing back up onto my butt when I sit down to perform any acts of the bathroom symphony.
But to be fair, I'd really rather encounter a CLOSED UP bottle of pee than when people try and leave their pee sitting in the toilet "because it saves water." Ugh, so many things wrong with that: OK, what if I drop something of mine in the toilet (like a toothbrush?!)? And the smell? And the fact that it leaves rings in the toilet? And you know what, it DOESN'T save water I'm going to flush it if I'm the next person to use it because (here's where it gets graphically specific) I don't want anyone else's pee splashing back up onto my butt when I sit down to perform any acts of the bathroom symphony.
88
Menstrual blood in yogurt cups!? ...Fruit on the bottom, anyone? Haha. Thank you all for making life bearable.
89
Peeing in a bottle = seriously lazy. (I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant, I get up 2-4 times a night to pee, I have to walk down a long, cold hallway, and I have never considered peeing in any receptacle in my bedroom. And btw I pee in the shower pretty much every time I take a shower.) Peeing in a bottle and leaving it in the bedroom for someone else to clean up = vomit-worthy. DTMFA
90
PISS, you need to DTMFA.
For a moment lets overlook the fact that your boyfriend is pissing into a plastic bottle while you're in the room, which by all means is a good enough reason to run and never turn back. For whatever reason your BF wants or needs to urinate in a plastic bottle in the middle of the night (maybe he doesn't wake up in time to get to the bathroom before wetting himself).
The reason you need to dump him is that he thinks it is acceptable to have a bottle of urine in his bedroom. If I pissed in a bottle, I'd be damn certain to make sure my wife never, ever found it. I wouldn't even think about it in her presence, just in case she asked me what I was thinking about.
Your BF doesn't seem to have a problem with having bottles of piss lying around, and obviously doesn't understand societal norms. And why when the bottle got full, did he not immediately dispose of it? Because he didn't care or thought that it was somehow acceptable. Think of what other foul habits he has, that you just haven't discovered yet.
While You maybe able to get him to use a coaster or laundry basket, this is something you will never be able to change.
For a moment lets overlook the fact that your boyfriend is pissing into a plastic bottle while you're in the room, which by all means is a good enough reason to run and never turn back. For whatever reason your BF wants or needs to urinate in a plastic bottle in the middle of the night (maybe he doesn't wake up in time to get to the bathroom before wetting himself).
The reason you need to dump him is that he thinks it is acceptable to have a bottle of urine in his bedroom. If I pissed in a bottle, I'd be damn certain to make sure my wife never, ever found it. I wouldn't even think about it in her presence, just in case she asked me what I was thinking about.
Your BF doesn't seem to have a problem with having bottles of piss lying around, and obviously doesn't understand societal norms. And why when the bottle got full, did he not immediately dispose of it? Because he didn't care or thought that it was somehow acceptable. Think of what other foul habits he has, that you just haven't discovered yet.
While You maybe able to get him to use a coaster or laundry basket, this is something you will never be able to change.
91
Really?!?! Y'all can handle santorum and fisting and Gaia-knows-whatelse, but peeing in a bottle sends you over the edge?! I live in a really creaky house with a light-sleeping three-year-old across the hall... nighttime bathroom visits result in awakening the child, which leads to extend periods of resettling... thus, the need to pee in a bottle in the middle of the night. What's the big deal? Pur it out the next day and give it a bleach rinse... ready for next time!
92
yikes! i have a 2 1/2 y.o.- i understand where you are at diddly, i do it too, cept i use the big red kegger cups. no hassle trying to stick the pisser into a tiny hole, ample room for a longer pee, no blowback (pissers in bottles know where i comin from) that dude could just learn to manage his piss better, make sure his GF cant have a problem with it. oh, and shes talking about 1 bottle, may have been a freak thing, maybe she got up one fine morn and left him to sleep in. guy wakes up, thinks to self, oh cool, ME time! gotta pee or a wank is no fun (mr. vanilla!)leastways thats how i started. CUT A BROTHER SOME SLACK!
93
I doubt he pissed in the bottle while she was asleep - more likely while she was dong her nails or dropping a load in the bathroom and he woke up needing to piss like mad. I have never done that, but if I wasn't tall enough to piss in the kitchen sink I would have.
96
Closety gay men might have an easier time forgetting they are fucking a woman if they can't see her breasts and face... so all that doggy-style (AND the difficulty with arousal AND getting himself an apparently great body AND being grossed out by a blow job from a woman...) ummm, yeah, those would all be red flags that he caught the gay.
97
Maybe the bottle pisser is a fresh veteran of a foreign war? I imagine some of those guys on urban rubble foot patrol probably used piss bottles.
98
Making a latex dildo out of a woman's vagina sounds both unpleasant and dangerous. Look: this is a stretchable organ by definition. When not in use (sex or childbirth) the opening has a volume that is functionally zero. Fill that space with latex and you'll get the lamest, least satisfying, and most structurally unsound dildo of all time...not to mention the health risks. Just buy a dildo. It will make life easier and safer.
99
While I was growing up, my Dad always pissed in a plastic bucket in my parents bedroom when he needed to go at night. The smell permeated the entire upstairs of our house. We only had one bathroom which was downstairs, but there was no convincing him to use it or to add another bathroom upstairs. We weren't poor - but my Dad just saw nothing wrong with this.
Needless to say I would never pee in a bottle or bucket, and would never be with someone who did. I do pee in the shower though, and have often peed in the backyard when the bathroom is occupado.
I also can't have a cat because I am so sensitive to the pee smell - a litter box just repulses me.
Needless to say I would never pee in a bottle or bucket, and would never be with someone who did. I do pee in the shower though, and have often peed in the backyard when the bathroom is occupado.
I also can't have a cat because I am so sensitive to the pee smell - a litter box just repulses me.
100
I've heard that the definition of a gentleman is one who moves the dishes out of the way before pissing in the sink.
101
Pissing in the shower is no comparison to the situation described by PISS. So far, everyone defending a person's right to piss in a bottle has described a situation of desperation (sharing the bathroom with others, health problems, etc). That is a world away from someone who only lives with his girlfriend, who pees in a bottle, doesn't empty the bottle, and leaves it in a noticable place. Either that's incredibly lazy, or he's got something else going on. My guess is that he's lazy and that whatever conditions he lived in before fostered this behavior (even if it was simply not wanting to leave his World of Warcraft game), and for whatever reason he is oblivious to the fact that a change is in order. If he had a health problem that caused this, why wouldn't he explain it to his girlfriend and take care of the pee discretely afterwards? It's either a health problem or a fetish that he has not had the courtesy of running by her before involving her in. Seriously, DTMFA.
But thanks, Dan, for all the gross and shocking letters after two weeks of ultimate boredom from people who paid to get their letters in your column, but couldn't be bothered to actually think of a good reason WHY they wanted their letters in your column.
But thanks, Dan, for all the gross and shocking letters after two weeks of ultimate boredom from people who paid to get their letters in your column, but couldn't be bothered to actually think of a good reason WHY they wanted their letters in your column.
102
You know what loves cum? ANTS
Also, I often pee in the shower while taking a shower with my wife in such as way so she doesn't notice.
Also, I often pee in the shower while taking a shower with my wife in such as way so she doesn't notice.
103
Unless you have access to a sperm bank freezer, cum can be frozen for several months in your regular home freezer but it may taste odd, kind of like old ice cubes. You can refrigerate it and it will keep for a few days. Not sure how sick you can get from eating "spoiled" cum but probably not much sicker then sipping cum out of someones freshly fucked asshole which by then will be tainted with blood, shit, and lube.
104
From a guy: girls, we all want to be a ladies man, but we can't do it without your help. The bottle pisser has not had a good teacher, and that sucks for him and his girlfriend. Be clear, not passive aggressive, and tell us what's not appropriate. We take direction pretty well if it's tactful. The girl I live with enjoys a pretty clean and respectful partner, not because a sweet gem like me slipped through the cracks over the years, but because previous girls taught me how to open doors for them, clean up without asking, not leave bottles of piss on the floor, etc. You mat not be able to benefit from the all the work you put into teaching your boyfriends how to be good roommates, but someone will, and you'll benefit from their work as well.
105
Latex takes ages to dry. Fill the vagina with dental alginate. It's cheap, hardens in a minute, and is safe. Then you can make a mold of the alginate and cast the dildo out of nontoxic latex or plastic.
106
Yeah, seriously Dan. YOU DROPPED THE SPRITE BOTTLE. WTF. I'm a guy, I piss in the shower, but a sprite bottle full of piss in the BEDROOM? Oh my god. What are you thinking? No piss in the bedroom unless both parties agree to it.
107
Dear Canadian Chris
Stephen Harper put forth a vote to reppeal gay marriage in Canada on December 7, 2006 - almost immediately after winning his first election Minister. It was one of his first acts as Prime Harper lost the vote 175-123.
Canadian Becca
Stephen Harper put forth a vote to reppeal gay marriage in Canada on December 7, 2006 - almost immediately after winning his first election Minister. It was one of his first acts as Prime Harper lost the vote 175-123.
Canadian Becca
108
ok...here goes... got to pee...check. pick up Sprite bottle...check. Position bottle...check. Dang...got to get the dick tip just right...hold bottle with one hand..dick with another. Shit! The bottle moved. Damn it!!
This is too much work. Your boyfriend's not lazy. He's just weird.
This is too much work. Your boyfriend's not lazy. He's just weird.
109
I'll say that leaving piss around for others to find is a deal breaker to me. But I also didn't start out reading the first question's letter with much sympathy, given how she described the rest of the living situation. Its a shared space, the two of them moved in together, not her dominion to dictate. This girl has one of those 'I'm in charge even though no one actually bestowed that on me' complexes. If you can't handle the idea that its an equally shared living space just because its the same apartment that you had before alone, then get rid of it and find a new place together. Thats pretty dumb that you'd need such a thing to illustrate the shared-space concept to you though. Probably better to go back to living alone.
110
How the hell is pissing in a bottle in a bedroom not out-of-bounds behavior? She's writing in asking basically "is this normal" and you're saying "sure, is there something wrong with that?" It's not normal. He's got problems. If he starts off being that disgusting, god help her when he starts to let himself go a bit. What's next, shitting in a can?
111
My comment to PISS is: Did you ASK him about it? If you ask, he might be perfectly happy to tell you what is going on. The answer might be as simple as "I find it convenient".
b.t.w. If it is for convenience, you might reasonably expect that he also expects to dispose of it at a convenient time. You described the bottle as sealed, so it obviously isn't stinking up the bedroom. From his perspective, it is probably not critical that he dump it out immediately. After all, you don't empty the trash every time you throw away a used tampon, right?
To the rest of you: If you are that disgusted, perhaps you should reconsider whether you should be reading Savage Love. Did you not see the other letter about sucking the cum out of somebody's ass? Or the letter a few weeks ago about the guy with the shit on his dick?
And a special note to P-boy: Do you find that intimate relationships are usually strengthened by calling your partner by demeaning names like "you pig" and "you prick"?
b.t.w. If it is for convenience, you might reasonably expect that he also expects to dispose of it at a convenient time. You described the bottle as sealed, so it obviously isn't stinking up the bedroom. From his perspective, it is probably not critical that he dump it out immediately. After all, you don't empty the trash every time you throw away a used tampon, right?
To the rest of you: If you are that disgusted, perhaps you should reconsider whether you should be reading Savage Love. Did you not see the other letter about sucking the cum out of somebody's ass? Or the letter a few weeks ago about the guy with the shit on his dick?
And a special note to P-boy: Do you find that intimate relationships are usually strengthened by calling your partner by demeaning names like "you pig" and "you prick"?
112
Uh if I tried pissing in a sprite bottle i'd probably miss and make a mess.
Oh and for the girl, do you concentrate on him at all? Women I'm with always moan about how I have to do foreplay and such and then never do anything for me, then act all shocked when I'm not hard. Eating a clit until my jaw is numb might be fun, but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to have an erection.
Oh and for the girl, do you concentrate on him at all? Women I'm with always moan about how I have to do foreplay and such and then never do anything for me, then act all shocked when I'm not hard. Eating a clit until my jaw is numb might be fun, but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to have an erection.
113
Re: Dreamy BF.
She states that this is his first relationship which these days at age 20 is a rather late start.
It's far to premature to label him with gay/straight/etc. He's simply insecure.
Oh and re: bj's/general sex, there's nothing wrong with being somewhat prudish. I cant stand BJ's, and its not a religious thing, im just OCD and the thought of all the germs involved and of kissing or interacting with my G/F afterwords grosses me out. Ick.
She states that this is his first relationship which these days at age 20 is a rather late start.
It's far to premature to label him with gay/straight/etc. He's simply insecure.
Oh and re: bj's/general sex, there's nothing wrong with being somewhat prudish. I cant stand BJ's, and its not a religious thing, im just OCD and the thought of all the germs involved and of kissing or interacting with my G/F afterwords grosses me out. Ick.
114
LOL at all the people defending the bottle pee-er. IF they had a ton of roommates to share one bathroom with, ok, you might have an argument for doing it on the RARE occasion where you just can't hold it until your roommate gets out of the shower. But these two sound like they live alone. And the fact that he doesn't at least dump it in the morning? Bleh.
An I'm getting a kick out of all the comments expressing bafflement at face-to-face anal. You people need to watch more gay porn. Or read slash fanfiction.
An I'm getting a kick out of all the comments expressing bafflement at face-to-face anal. You people need to watch more gay porn. Or read slash fanfiction.
115
A guy not liking blow jobs? I have never heard of such a thing. Except for the one interviewee in The Hite Report on Male Sexuality who said, "I do not like people sucking on my penis. Too many other sexy places." One out of over 8,300 in her sample. Real Confused is getting sold a bill of goods. Gay or not, if he can't give her good lovin', and that's a dealbreaker for her, which it clearly is, she needs to DTMFA and find someone who can bone her properly.
118
Wow I happened on the wrong site. I was looking for the artical were "the stranger" was posting the addresses of people who were voting republican. YOU PEOPLE ARE A BUNCH OF FREAKS.
120
I have also peed in a receptacle for logistical reasons when I had roommates. Discreet, never messed up, never got caught. I thought that I was the only one, so it was a relief to read from and about others in the same boat.
But it was not that long ago in our domestic history when chamber pots were regularly used -- even by the well-to-do. Not a big difference.
But it was not that long ago in our domestic history when chamber pots were regularly used -- even by the well-to-do. Not a big difference.
121
It is somewhat of an urban myth to think pee is sterile--Im no urologist, but I know females (moreso) and males get bladder infections due to bacteria constantly invading the urethra--so keep the pee in the sprite bottles and not on the war wounds.
122
1) If you're dating the "Boy" of your dreams, you both need to grow up;
2) I've read that "gamers" (those who spend hours on end playing video games) pee in bottles so they don't miss out. DTMFA
2) I've read that "gamers" (those who spend hours on end playing video games) pee in bottles so they don't miss out. DTMFA
123
Female shower pee-er here. If I need to pee in the shower, I'm not getting out and dripping water all over my bathroom floor and freezing my wet, naked ass off on the way to the toilet because I don't want to get my towel damp before I'll actually need it.
The one exception I ever made to this was when I was showering with a boyfriend and didn't want him to think I was gross. (Turned out he wouldn't have; when I climbed back in, he informed me that he'd peed in the shower while I was gone.)
On the bottle issue, I have a hard time seeing the big deal. However, I am not remotely a normal person to ask about this. My father is a professional over-the-road truck driver, and used to take me and my brothers and sisters on trips with him during the summer so we wouldn't make our mother crazy. Bathrooms aren't exactly plentiful out on the highway in the middle of the night, and you can't always stop at a rest stop or gas station when you have a delivery deadline to meet. I was willing to hold it for fifty miles or more until I could get out to pee in some bushes off the shoulder, but unsurprisingly, my under-ten-years-old siblings couldn't do that. So, bottles. I got used to them being around (you can't drop them on the road side, there are hefty fines for littering the highway in many states). My big problem was that piss and Mountain Dew are about the same color, so we had drinking near-misses. (My mother and I eventually instituted the "green bottle" rule. Peeing could only be done in bottles whose intended contents are not SUPPOSED to be yellowish, like in empty bottles of water.)
Once you've gotten used to throwing out bags of piss bottles in gas station trash cans, they just never bother you the same way again.
If it bothers PISS, though, that's valid. I think Dan's proposed compromise sounds like a good one.
More...
The one exception I ever made to this was when I was showering with a boyfriend and didn't want him to think I was gross. (Turned out he wouldn't have; when I climbed back in, he informed me that he'd peed in the shower while I was gone.)
On the bottle issue, I have a hard time seeing the big deal. However, I am not remotely a normal person to ask about this. My father is a professional over-the-road truck driver, and used to take me and my brothers and sisters on trips with him during the summer so we wouldn't make our mother crazy. Bathrooms aren't exactly plentiful out on the highway in the middle of the night, and you can't always stop at a rest stop or gas station when you have a delivery deadline to meet. I was willing to hold it for fifty miles or more until I could get out to pee in some bushes off the shoulder, but unsurprisingly, my under-ten-years-old siblings couldn't do that. So, bottles. I got used to them being around (you can't drop them on the road side, there are hefty fines for littering the highway in many states). My big problem was that piss and Mountain Dew are about the same color, so we had drinking near-misses. (My mother and I eventually instituted the "green bottle" rule. Peeing could only be done in bottles whose intended contents are not SUPPOSED to be yellowish, like in empty bottles of water.)
Once you've gotten used to throwing out bags of piss bottles in gas station trash cans, they just never bother you the same way again.
If it bothers PISS, though, that's valid. I think Dan's proposed compromise sounds like a good one.
124
thanks budds-pal for the insight. but sensitivity, and size of the vaginal cavity aside... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! do not try to pour liquid latex into your vagina EVER, IT WILLNOT CURE! latex needs air exposure to cure, inserting liquid latex into any orifices of your body will result in a trip to the hospital/obgyn... not fun. also! do not use plaster, alginate, polyurethane... also a very bad idea! please when taking molds off of any part of your body, do your research, it's easy to f-up and f yourself up.
leave interior vaginal casting to the pros... there is a reason why this doesn't exist.
leave interior vaginal casting to the pros... there is a reason why this doesn't exist.
125
To all PISS-defenders, bringing up potential toe-stubbing, waiting, freezing etc in defense - that makes you sound like you were clumsy and lazy and, on top of it, relatively unable to control your bladders. I've never lived in a household with less than three persons and more than one bath, and I mean, how do your girlfriends do it without breaking their toes, catching pneumonias, or ending up standing in a puddle in front of a closed bathroom door all the time? Dear God!
Two more things: A) leaving your piss standing around in a bottle to be found by the gf you moved in with recently is not exactly expressing respect. The times when someone else had to take care of his piss should be *long* over, unless it's indeed a fetish.
B)If this grosses her out, and they are still relatively young -20ies or 30ies- she might want to imagine what someone already too lazy to carry his ass to the bathroom at night *or* get rid of that bottle himself afterwards will be like in 20 years from now. My guess: Not compatible with her.
Two more things: A) leaving your piss standing around in a bottle to be found by the gf you moved in with recently is not exactly expressing respect. The times when someone else had to take care of his piss should be *long* over, unless it's indeed a fetish.
B)If this grosses her out, and they are still relatively young -20ies or 30ies- she might want to imagine what someone already too lazy to carry his ass to the bathroom at night *or* get rid of that bottle himself afterwards will be like in 20 years from now. My guess: Not compatible with her.
126
and a note to "that guy"... when using dental alginate, it is great stuff, safe, non toxic etc, however, unless you have a gaping vagina, the cured alginate will likely break apart when pulled out of the orifice... which will result in some major cleanup down below... plus for any pour/cure method one would have to figure out the most comfortable way to position oneself for 20 minutes so the curing whatever-is-inside-you doesnt pour out :-D
127
I married the "man of my dreams". We were compatible in every department except for sex - I downplayed the importance of that element. 8 years later...I am straying and wanting out...don't settle!
128
The Latex thing wont work. Itll never set. Maybe some dental alginate. Definitely not like Whiteread, she used concrete.
129
Here's a little test for the "boy of your dreams". Put a porn DVD on. Maybe one with like, no guys in it. Solo girl or lesbian, doesn't matter. Let him watch the TV and pork you missionary style. If there are no problems with his performance, then he probably just finds your face unattractive. Maybe you remind him of his mom or something.
130
Female condom filled with latex, and if you live in house without central heating and it's just barely above freezing between your bedroom and the bathroom (and even colder in the bathroom), then a wide mouthed pickle jar (iced tea powder jug, plastic gallon-ish jug that caramel popcorn comes in, etc.) isn't so unthinkable (but no way I'd do it when a woman's over--it's thinkable but not admittable).
131
In my experience, guys don't usually trade not being nagged for doing what they're supposed to (i.e. not pissing in soda bottles). I wish it were that simple Dan. I really don't think that this girl needs to be concerned that she's nagging this obviously repulsively ill-mannered boyfriend. She should be concerned that she'll most likely have to kick him to the curb. Get to know someone's habits before moving in with them is my advice.
132
In a bottle of sprite?!?
That is disgusting.
Peeing in the shower in no way compares and, see the comment above, it's bound to spill on the floor as he does it. OMG for me that would be a sacking offense. Gross.
That is disgusting.
Peeing in the shower in no way compares and, see the comment above, it's bound to spill on the floor as he does it. OMG for me that would be a sacking offense. Gross.
133
Oh my God, we're back to the "usual" Savage Love. Letters and replies that make my eyes water and throat close up. God Christ.
135
How the hell are people walking around as adults, thinking that women have big empty holes between their legs all the time? For cryin' out loud. What, do you think that after a woman has a baby, her latex mold would come out baby-shaped?
For shame. Spend a couple of minutes thinking about it, fer cripes sakes.
For shame. Spend a couple of minutes thinking about it, fer cripes sakes.
136
Pissing in a bottle. That's pretty gross. You know he is missing the opening much of the time, so there is piss in your bed as well. Start leaving your bloody rags all over the place and when he complains, (and he will) make a deal.
137
Well, sometimes people might use a bottle or "skippy jar" (that used to be the popular jargon) for long car rides where some little kid needed to go real bad and there were no rest stops available, and people were too uptight to use the woods.
I've peed in a bottle when I was naked in a tent and it was freezing cold outside and it was better than getting dressed.
I guess how hard it would be to pee in a small opening of a liter bottle would depend on the size of the pisshole, some guys have a slit. I have a very small defined opening and if I put that opening in the circle of the bottle I can pee in it np.
But in a house equipped with a bathroom? No. In the shower, sure, it's going down the drain and how many places can you play with your pee stream. It's warm and feels forbidden. Why not.
I've peed in a bottle when I was naked in a tent and it was freezing cold outside and it was better than getting dressed.
I guess how hard it would be to pee in a small opening of a liter bottle would depend on the size of the pisshole, some guys have a slit. I have a very small defined opening and if I put that opening in the circle of the bottle I can pee in it np.
But in a house equipped with a bathroom? No. In the shower, sure, it's going down the drain and how many places can you play with your pee stream. It's warm and feels forbidden. Why not.
138
Who can advise me on having clean anal sex. It looks clean in videos. How do they do that?
Really Need to Know
Really Need to Know
139
Wow, it is good to know that there are loads of people who find peeing in bottles exceptionally gross. I (I'm female) have known a number of men who pee in bottles in the bedroom, and it doesn't strike me as a particularly note-worthy. She didn't say he left out in plain view. She said the empty one was found in a box. Really maybe he was stashing it out of view, and she went snooping for it.
In any case, the comments show that there are 2 types of people: those that think peeing in bottles is gross and those that think it is no big deal. Soi, this couple seems incompatible.
In any case, the comments show that there are 2 types of people: those that think peeing in bottles is gross and those that think it is no big deal. Soi, this couple seems incompatible.
140
Fuck yea! Obama won. But the voters in California are fucking bigots. Prop 8 ( as of 10PM ) is winning. Dan, you need to boycott CA and let them find their own god damm sex advice.
141
The guy might have been into urophagia - drinking his own urine - more common than one might believe. Proponents do for a variety of alleged health and healing benefits (for sexual too but then usually not your own). Although begs the question why he wasn't storing it in the fridge....
143
"If I could save piss in a bottle,
the first thing that I'd like to do..."
Songs Jim Croce never wrote.
Hey, where does a "man of my dreams" keep his pecan? Under the bed! ::rim shot::
the first thing that I'd like to do..."
Songs Jim Croce never wrote.
Hey, where does a "man of my dreams" keep his pecan? Under the bed! ::rim shot::
144
The bottle peeing - just lazy. However, the maybe gay boyfriend is a much tougher call. I agree with the majority that the couple seems likely incompatible but its very difficult to guess where her boyfriend is coming from. I dated a guy off and on for several years that was often unable to get it up, liked anal better than vaginal, All the things mentioned. I was ready to write him off as gay and found myself pregnant. We are the parents of a toddler and honestly, from the time we made the decision to coparent and see if we could fix our relationship, sex has been amazingly good. Gone are the erectile problems and I suspect alot of his issues were based around self doubt. Its like having an entirely different guy around, and I definitely like this version better.
145
As for the urine in a bottle, I would think it would be ok as long as he used a coaster, I mean really.
149
I do have a literal outhouse, and to go outside in the middle of the night is too much effort. I've pissed in a burger king cup, and my bf is soda bottles before. No big deal, now, when he pisses in the shower WHILE I'M IN IT, that's different...
150
nice. Dan..the problems I am having are relevant to not going out and bad company.
To avoid it yet to be mindful of the efforts to respectfully redirect some thinking that won't continually counteract and contradict a losers cry wolf.
To avoid it yet to be mindful of the efforts to respectfully redirect some thinking that won't continually counteract and contradict a losers cry wolf.
151
peeing in the shower is ecological, no toilet to flush, and urine is sterile. So what's the big deal?
Especially if I pee directly into the drain so you can't smell it really even if I've loaded up on asparagus?
Save the planet, pee in the shower.
Especially if I pee directly into the drain so you can't smell it really even if I've loaded up on asparagus?
Save the planet, pee in the shower.
152
Peeing in a Sprite bottle is BS and incomparable with peeing in the shower!
It's quite normal to pee in the shower, after all, it's the place where we clean ourselves i.e. if someone peed on me, I'd go take a shower.
Pissing on a Sprite bottle is just wrong. I hope one of these nights you trip on this bottle and spill it on your clothes that I'm sure are all over the floor...
It's quite normal to pee in the shower, after all, it's the place where we clean ourselves i.e. if someone peed on me, I'd go take a shower.
Pissing on a Sprite bottle is just wrong. I hope one of these nights you trip on this bottle and spill it on your clothes that I'm sure are all over the floor...
154
a hormone in semen can help soften and activate a woman's cervix for labor. i've heard tell of women making what they call "prostipops" - spooge cubes- in order to help speed up labor. just use a "joyjam only" ice cube tray, then ziplock the cubes to prevent "contamination" either by the jizz getting into something else or by it getting the flavors from your leftover 3 alarm chili..unless yould like that better? BUT, I have to say, i'd be more concerned with the E. Coli, etc. you're gonna "churn" as well. ...may the force be strong upon you and the frostbite far from your sphincter for all the days of you life.
155
As a theatrical makeup artist well versed in the use of liquid latex, and a woman, and a sex toy enthusiast. DON'T EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT. LATEX RELEASES AMONIA AS IT DRIES YOU FUCKING MORON. Thank you, have a nice day
156
I'm someone who has used "chamber pots" (those big Nancy's yogurt tubs work great) before. Once when living in a situation with an outhouse and during the winter, forGET the moonlight trek through the snow to pee! And once when living in a 2 story, very cold at night house with one ground floor restroom.
But I still find bottle-pissing dude gross. For one, such a thing shouldn't be left around or be used multiple times. Disgusting!
And it's not like he was on a damn car trip and had no other option.
Nasty. He's just a lazy pig and sees nothing wrong with storing his piss in a bottle just to save himself the effort of going pee like a normal person.
But I still find bottle-pissing dude gross. For one, such a thing shouldn't be left around or be used multiple times. Disgusting!
And it's not like he was on a damn car trip and had no other option.
Nasty. He's just a lazy pig and sees nothing wrong with storing his piss in a bottle just to save himself the effort of going pee like a normal person.
157
Pissing in a bottle in the middle of the night is classic alcoholic behaviour. It's not a question of being lazy or uncivilized; it's a question of inability to get to the bathroom. (At least it's in a bottle and not in the bed.) If he is a drinker, PISS should consider whether he is in fact an alcoholic and, if maybe so, go to Al-Anon or dump him.
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