Actual Foxes Listen to Fleet Foxes
Reviews of the Band's New Album by the Animals at the Woodland Park Zoo
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Photos by Kelly O
To find out if Robin Pecknold's voice and face could effectively seduce and/or sedate members of the animal kingdom like his band Fleet Foxes has already done to millions of human beings, The Stranger went to the Woodland Park Zoo armed with a portable device playing Fleet Foxes' new full-length, Helplessness Blues; the May 2011 issue of Spin with Pecknold on the cover; and a camera. Here are the results of our investigation.
Stranger Personals
Initial behavior: Foraging for insects on ground.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: No reaction.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Subject buries head in small rock enclosure.
Initial behavior: Sitting at water's edge, hands clasped together.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Subject begins grooming.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Subject yawns.
Worth noting: "Siamangs sing so loudly that it can be heard for up to 3 miles," according to the zoo.
Initial behavior: Perching on artificial rock formation.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Subject stretches, steps down, and retreats to rock enclosure.
Initial behavior: Swimming, waddling.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Subject begins grooming itself. Peers appear irritated and retreat.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Subject wags tail stub. Peers retreat further.
Worth noting: A pack of children continually ram empty stroller into subject-habitat Plexiglass retaining wall. Zoo officials absent.
Initial behavior: Grazing on grass.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Grazing continues.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Subjects cease grazing and retreat to an enclosure.
Initial behavior: Scavenging unidentified debris haphazardly distributed via unidentified zoo employee.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: No reaction.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Subject begins following zoo employee in opposite direction of audio source.
Worth noting: "Sometimes wolves howl just for the pleasure of it," according to the zoo.
Initial behavior: Grazing atop modest incline.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: No notable reaction.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Initial indifference, but after several minutes of exposure to the audio, female peers engage in affectionate, apparently homosexual, behavior.
Worth noting: Male elk are called bulls, and female elk "favor bulls with large antlers," according to the zoo. The zoo's literature says nothing about the preferences of lesbian elk.
Initial behavior: Minimal.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Subject takes two steps, then halts.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Subject defecates while remaining otherwise stationary.
Worth noting: "A[n elephant] trunk weighs about 400 pounds," according to the zoo, "and is so dexterous that it can pick up a grain of rice."
Initial behavior: Attending hay bale.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Apparent confusion followed by resumed attendance to hay bale.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Subjects take notice of audio and continue feeding.
Worth noting: "A giraffe's tongue is over 18 inches long."
Initial behavior: Strutting.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Strutting.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Strutting.
Initial behavior: Forlornly gazing at visitors through window.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Forlorn gazing continues.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Subject yawns widely and looks away.
Initial behavior: Posing stoically with soiled beard atop outcropping of artificial rock formation.
Reaction to Pecknold on the cover of Spin: Posing stoically with soiled beard atop outcropping of artificial rock formation.
Reaction to Helplessness Blues: Posing stoically with soiled beard atop outcropping of artificial rock formation.
Worth noting: A group of mountain goats is called a band. "One change in bedding
position by the most dominant nanny might result in conflicts within the whole band," according to the zoo. 
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Totally harshed ma mellow buddy.
You'll prob die from an ulcer though, so it's cool.
Please, just give me something I can use! How fucking hard is that?
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Though apparently Def Dee is "sharking" very hard according to my NY friend who knows things.
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Are they always left out for some reason? Do they not count? Are you going to ask them next month? etc...
Being funny is fine, but treating really nice, really talented dudes with a little respect would also be nice. Especially since they just made a tremendous album.
nice photos though!
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oh at @8, wtf does that even mean? you're the kind of dude who just sits around saying "well, not necessarily" in a squeaky voice all day aren't you?
I'm sending my copy back to you because it is too trashy to recycle.
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http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/9464…
I actually find this article to be more entertaining than the Fleet Foxes themselves. Not that I'm trying to knock their fans - different strokes and all that.
Then again, Fleet Foxes is also a pile of pointless hipster bullshit. So it's rather fitting.
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Also, "support local music" only goes so far dudes (I LOVE EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT IS LOCAL AND I LOVE IT BECAUSE IT IS LOCAL). Y'all are the new "Seattle doesn't dance."
Seriously, if you want to find out about new bands, go look for new bands, you're perfectly capable. The Stranger prints some pretty stupid shit, but it prints what it wants, and that's awesome. Would you rather a newspaper where the reviews are paid for by the bands being reviewed?
Firing Grandy, Zwickel and Segal were smart moves.
Kudos Stranger editorial. Keep up the good work Grant.
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No, you can't review music because it's too subjective, so to effectively review it you should do so in abstract.
It is the perfect review for the worlds most meaningless band.
The icing on top is Robin's butt-hurtness over it. Classic.
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I can't tell you how many times I had to keep children from climbing on the rocks and disrupting the penguins.
One man even reached over the enclosure and started hitting one on the head.
They're constantly bombarded by noise and movement and crazy children, and it wouldn't surprise me if most of them have just learned to factor out most stimuli and just focus on the hay bale/pooping/ignoring the humans.
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