Listen up, kids. You need to start demanding better movies. If you keep eating up shit like Alpha and Omega, which is unfunny, uncreative, and, at times, slightly creepy, then they'll keep feeding it to you.

Do you want to listen to the same goddamn jokes over and over again? Aren't you tired of watching the fat sidekick—because there's always a fat sidekick—fall flat on his face in a puddle of mud? How many more times can you watch the geeky male star be predictably awkward around the pretty female star before barfing from all the formulaic bullshit?

But Alpha and Omega does have one saving grace, I suppose. If you really, really wanted to (assuming you didn't walk out of the theater during the creepy howling scenes where the cartoon foxes appear to be acting out cartoon orgasms without any sexual contact), you could argue that the last 10 minutes of this poop pile is a pro-gay marriage message to the world by way of cartoon foxes.

See, in the world of foxes, there are alphas and there are omegas. What the fuck that means, really, is never explained, but whatever, we've already established it was worthless, so that shouldn't be surprising. Anyway, all the foxes seem to think that their environment would collapse into absolute chaos if an alpha fox were ever to marry an omega fox—"It's not our way!" they cry—but, when it actually happens (oh, yeah, spoiler alert or whatever), NOTHING BAD HAPPENS. In fact, things get better. The proverbial shit did not hit the proverbial fan, and the final message is "Fuck it, let the foxes marry whomever they want!"

But does this movie's 10 minutes of decency have to be wrapped in 80 minutes of stupid jokes and the grating voice of Hayden Pantyliner? No. You deserve better, children. THE REVOLTION BEGINS WITH YOU.